Like most people, when I think of haute couture, I think luscious lady lumps. Which is why it made sense that the tickity tack tranny from Transylvania herself, Fergie Ferg, was drafted to produce the theme song for the upcoming Sex and the City movie called “Labels or Love.” Keep in mind, Ms. Ferguson’s vocal techniques are damn delicious (he’s my witness), and I don’t care who knows it.

However this time, all the Fergielicious attitude in the world isn’t going to save this sinking stiletto. Like the singer, the song is a straight up hot mess of nonsense lyrics and poor execution. It plays like one merciless, unending verse, stuffed on top of a horridly outdated synth-tastic reinterpretation of the Sex and the City theme song.

Now I do have to give credit where it’s due and applaud Fergie, because she did manage to take both my love of high fashion and the Sex and the City series and craft them into the most horrifyingly repulsive of fashion related songs of all time. Now that’s high fashion.