Amniotic Fluid, Meet Luscious Lumps

by Bradley Stern
filed under: Fergie, Koda Kumi


Sure looks like someone’s toned down their game. Hot off the not-so-recent scandal when Koda Kumi accused older women’s fluid of being dirty and being scorned across Japan, she’s finally released the video for one of her four summer singles within Moon. It’s the big one–the collabo with Fergie Ferg, herself, called “That Ain’t Cool.” What to expect? A lot of stale movement, some severe PVC catsuitage by her Fergness, and a whole lot of general nothingness. You can tell this was a big budget production.

Oh, and the song is in English. Not shocking from the Fergie standpoint, but for Kumi, that’s never really happened. Well, there was that God awful rendition of “A Whole New World,” but I like to pretend that never happened. Or that “I Feel Love” cover. Oof. Anyway, it’s not the worst thing I’ve heard in my life, and I would argue that she’s got a better grasp of the language than her contemporaries (see every English song Ayumi’s ever attempted), but it still sounds incredibly unpolished. It also doesn’t help that the song is, for a majority of the time, awful, and by the end of the song even the Queen of Humps can do nothing to save this mid-tempo stinker from sinking full speed.

pixel Amniotic Fluid, Meet Luscious Lumps