Two new snippets, This Is The One.

GO.

First up: “Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence-FYI,” which heretofore eradicates the commonly held theory that J-Pop contains the most ass backwards, redonkulous song titles known to man.

I swear, sometimes the woman simply throws me for a loop. Here we have this tiny Japanese pop star,best known for nerding out at the local Tetris championships and gleefully updating her blog about the latest exploits completed with her longtime companion–a large teddy bear named Kuma-Chan.

Rightfully, you begin to play “FYI” with the full expectation of a crossbreed between a KIDZ BOP album track and the theme song to Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. Yet in seconds, with an all-too-natural hip-hop flow teetering above a slick modern groove, she breaks it down: “NYC, NYC, NYC, What up? What up? / Work it out, Work it out, work it out hustlas.”

HUH?!

Then again, I’ll be damned if she ain’t too legit.

Then there’s “Dirty Desire,” a groove a la Exodus‘ “Let Me Give You My Love,” in its uncomfortable intermingling of sexual desire and awkward references to Hikaru’s Asian persuasion.

Perhaps it’s just me, but I can’t quite decide whether or not it’s appropriate to give in to a dirty groove that perpetuates the cringworthiest of stereotypes: “When I’m alone at night, I sit and fantasize / In my fantasies I love you long time.”

Then again, there are some rather deliciously obscene moments ripe for the pickin’: “During my 9 to 5, I’m thinking 6 and 9′s.”

Oof-ahh.