+ Combine the concepts of the Spice Girls‘ “Spice Up Your Life” and the 1997 film, Contact.

+ Cheapen the budget to “Something Kinda Oooh” proportions.

+ Take the costumes from “Sexy! No, No, No” and run them through a shredder.

+ Add fire.

+ Kill Girls Aloud.

And there you have it…The video for “Untouchable,” a single that could quite possibly be their first to miss the Top 10 in their entire career.

You just know that it’s Sarah Harding‘s fault.

SIT YOUR INTERGALACTIC, GAGALICIOUS ARSE DOWN, WOMAN. CAN’T YOU SEE YOU’RE CRASHING INTO EARTH’S HEMISPHERE?

Honestly, I’m getting a bit tired of these low-budget videos featuring the Girls lined up in a row of five. Sure, “The Loving Kind” was somewhat fitting, but this should have been their seven minute Pop Epic; a journey across the extremes of the Earth, searching high on the open seas, or simply killing the Sugababes. I mean, Nadine should have at least been holding a harpoon at some point.

They do look gorgeous as usual if it’s any consolation.

I’m off to replay the “Merry Christmas” shout out from Britney a few times to erase these images from my mind.

From the maker of “My pussy’s hanging out”:

Britney performed in Washington D.C. last night, where she had something special to say to the audience during “Do Somethin’.” Fast forward to :50 seconds into the video please.

Literally, the greatest thing ever.

Way back when, Imogen Heap recorded a track for a television program that was ultimately scrapped. Yes…very sad, indeed.

While she never got around to composing a musical backbone for the song, she kept the vocals, jokingly referring to it as “The Song That Never Was.”

The raging Twitter fiend that she is, Heap then decided that, in honor of the first annual Twestival, she would let loose the vocals for the general public to have their way, mixing and mashing to their heart’s content. You can listen to the zillions of mixes that transpired right here, many of which are quite nice.

One of those mixes is the BITCHslapHAPPY mix, one of the remixers I’ve highlighted over the past couple months.

The mix does the song a nice amount of justice, incorporating a playful amount of throbbing dance energy and a slight toy-box beat that delivers Immi a stomp she’s never had going for her before.

DL: Imogen Heap – The Song That Never Was (BITCHslapHAPPY Remix)

Now, if she’d only get off of Twitter for a moment and get on with the new album.

Fifty glorious, shimmering, mouth-watering seconds of Annie‘s upcoming single, “Anthonio” have just arrived on the interwebz!

As for my professional take on this upcoming Richard X cut? IT’S LIKE A WARM, GOOEY ELECTRONICA INFUSED COOKIE.

Well now, this is rather surreal. I feel almost…protective, as though watching a sibling getting famous. Is that creepy of me?

Utada‘s finally putting some full scale, star-studded effort into this thing, performing three tracks off of her second English album, This Is The One in an upcoming appearance on On Air With Ryan Seacrest: “Come Back To Me,” “Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence – FYI,” and “Me Muero.” The performances will be uploaded online soon. Don’t worry, I’m on it when it comes…STOP FREAKING OUT.

The singer also performed “Come Back To Me” and “FYI” live on KTLA 5 Morning News, the latter of which you can see briefly in the LQ clip below.

Slightly more nervous than a typical Japanese performance, but she’s hitting more notes than she usually would. Plus, it’s totally cute. Can’t wait to see this in full!

In other news, Utada’s just done an interview with Blackbook, which is rather insightful and intelligent–if you’re into feet.

No, really…though the conversation may start on the subject of New York, it’s mainly downhill from there, largely orbiting around the subject of socks. According to the superstar, Mariah Carey is to shoes as Utada Hikaru is to socks. Surely this should now explain away the awkward of that “foot video” she uploaded on her Kyte account last week.

As always, Utada proves the ever-curious little munchkin throughout the piece, even going so far as to awkwardly turn the heat onto the journalist:

Do you have a boyfriend right now?
Yes. I’ve always had a boyfriend since like middle school, different boyfriends. I’ve been married and divorced, but love and relationships have always been a part of my life.

Is he famous too?
No. Do you have a boyfriend?

Are you into fashion?

I can only imagine the stuffy interviewer scribbling away at her notebook, when Utada suddenly perks up to asks “HEY! Do you have a boyfriend?!” The interviewer, looking up from her notes blankly, back down, and up again, then moves swiftly into the next question on fashion.

Silly Japanese woman, keep your curiosities to yourself.

Yes Muusers, it’s time for another addition in the ongoing saga known as the transcription of Röyksopp‘s entire album, Junior.

Today’s mission: “This Must Be It,” the frantic, blaring electro-brooder fronted by Karin Dreijer.

As always, this is a collaborative effort. Though I think I’ve got most of it (along with some help by my good friend Faisal over at Ohh! Crapp…), there are still some words that have simply escaped me. Please feel free to add your comments and lend me your most eager, Swede-ready ears in completing these lyrics!

—

Waiting for a beam to break through here,
A chain wave vision all bright and clear,
And they talk, and they dance.

I was expecting something pure with golden hair,
Arms full of bracelets, and smoke and mirror,
And they talk, and they dance.

Here comes darkness just after noon,
Waiting for a sign,
If I survive, I’ll worship the moon
Or something, anything…

This must be it…longful bliss,
First it was so quiet, now I know I’m not alone in here
And they talked, and they danced.

Two moments collide in my open hand,
making me a viewer (voyeur?)
I am what I (?)
And they talk, and they dance

Your hand on my head, speak friendly to me
I’ve been starving for years, patiently
Is this as far as you can take me?

This must be it…longful bliss,
First it was so quiet, now I know I’m not alone in here
And they talked, and they danced.

This must be it…longful bliss,
First it was so quiet, now I know I’m not alone in here
And they talked, and they danced.

This must be it…longful bliss,
First it was so quiet, now I know I’m not alone in here

This must be it…longful bliss,
First it was so quiet, now I know I’m not alone in here
And they talked, and they danced.

Click above to listen to all the tracks from Junior!

Don’t forget–two very near and dear, very major MuuMuse approved releases are now out in stores today!

…Neither of which I’ve managed to review yet.

I KNOW–I’m working on it.

First up is Röyksopp‘s Junior, which also happens to be, hands down, the greatest release of 2009. A masterful collection of organic, growing synth sounds and moody vocals from the likes of Swede sweethearts Karin Dreijer, Lykke Li, and Robyn, Junior is not only an essential unifying piece between the Nordic duo’s first two releases, but a commendable pioneering effort into a higher realm of electro-pop.

Following that impossible lead-in is Utada‘s This Is The One, a collection of slinky R&B jams and tripped beats that dance the line somewhere between creative outflow and slightly embarrassing cliché.

JUMP ON ‘EM!

I’ve got a good feeling about this one.

Kelly Rowland has laid vocals with increasingly popular club killer David Guetta to produce what could be one of the biggest anthems of 2009.

“Love Takes Over,” which premiered in Ibiza many weeks ago, sounds sort of like a classic disco diva covering U2‘s “Beautiful Day,” with a bit more bass for good measure.

Here now, enjoy this somewhat nauseating fan video of the track’s first play in public!

Summer smash? Probably not–it’s too good for radio.

A dancefloor scorcher? Damn straight, sugar. WORK!

Click above to hear more from Kelly Rowland.