Daily B: The Video for “3″

by Bradley Stern

Filed in: Britney Spears, Daily B, Video Premiere

Well, I’m pissed, so this is mostly just going to come out in random spurts of anger that are occasionally bolded.

The video for “3″ is not sexy. It is not smart. It is, for the most part, uninteresting. Her hair looks bad. Her eyes look dead. There isn’t even any horse porn.

Yes, the screen shot previews were deceivingly gorgeous. Had I known that the video would be little more than a series of those intense close-ups looped on repeat, I would have been less excited coming into this project.

There’s essentially no real “dancing,” no plot line, and no point. For the most part, “3″ is about Britney and her back-up dancers frolicking ’round in a white, nebulous non-space together. As for the work of ‘acclaimed choreographers Tone & Rich‘? Maybe they came in to help install the plate of glass Britney smushes her hands and face against repeatedly.

There are no actual threesomes, and hardly any implied ones either. There were occasional moments in which Britney was joined by two men (probably accidental), but otherwise, the song’s content is conveniently overlooked.

Oh, and here’s the killer: “Living in sin is the new thing,” the song’s best lyric? Censored. Yep! No explanation for why, but apparently all the boys and all the girls are begging to “live in this.”

The ladies-on-the-pole horizontal dancey bit is the only good moment. I enjoyed that immensely, and there were some near-sexy hip gyrations thrown into the routine.

But alas, ’twas not enough to save the clip. By the video’s end, I felt the way Britney looked throughout–bored and slightly battered.

This video simply does NOT deserve a place next to Britney’s finest on the Singles Collection DVD. I mean…”I’m A Slave 4 U,” anyone? It’s been almost ten years later, and it’s still miles ahead of “3″ as far as maturity, style, and iconic status are concerned.

I’m ready for this childish era of Britney’s career to end. I love her death, and I refuse to watch her produce this kind of mediocrity. FOR GOD’S SAKE, SHE DID “TOXIC.”

Reload, Britney…reload.

14 comments

1 Toby { 10.30.09 at 11:35 am }

I agree with you 100 percent. (But then again, I always do, ha ha.) Thanks for the honest review!

2 scott { 10.30.09 at 11:37 am }

amen

3 Justin { 10.30.09 at 11:38 am }

Yes. yes. yes. yes.
I would have rather looked at a slide show of the promo shots than the live action version of this boring mess.

I’m not sure if we should be surprised though – in the Madonna vacuum we looked for the next big thing and christened Britney as such, but Britney had no creativity or wit about what she was doing. Most of her career has been purely dumb luck combined with amazing talent surrounding her.

It’s sad. I do enjoy her presence in the musical landscape, but this is subpar for even someone on the periphery of pop.

4 Daniel { 10.30.09 at 12:05 pm }

UGH. So disappointing. I was really looking forward to a fabulous video, not a bad hair day. Sad.

5 Anthony Galante { 10.30.09 at 12:27 pm }

subpar, indeed

6 xolondon { 10.30.09 at 12:48 pm }

There is one really geeky moment in it and one really great millisecond look from her, right at the camera. Her face looks good, but those Cheryl Cole bathing suits are ASS and whoever does her hair should be fired immediately for such bad extensions, which the camera does not hide!

7 PopMuse.com { 10.30.09 at 1:29 pm }

couldn’t agree more. the whole thing is a total mess. every element.

8 The Chemistry is Dead { 10.30.09 at 2:27 pm }

I agree but I do think she looks pretty wearing white but the whole video is really not what I wanted and doesn’t match the song at all. It’s anti-fierce.

9 EQ { 10.30.09 at 2:39 pm }

Brad – I actually like it. But when you have such low expectations of Britney like I do, she could put out something completely polished and I would still like it.

10 Calen { 10.30.09 at 3:43 pm }

NOT AGAIN!

ughhhhhh

hands all awkwardly up in her face AGAIN (‘Piece of Me’ anyone??)

dancing is lackluster AGAIN

where is the engery?!?!?!

this is not the Britney I grew up to

SOOOOO disappointing

11 wohn { 10.30.09 at 7:16 pm }

sorry
but i loveee this

12 pablo { 10.31.09 at 2:34 pm }

I agree with you…

bad video. bad hair. COOL song.

13 Will-W. { 11.01.09 at 2:45 am }

Well if you look at it this way, the song already reached #1. Why would a record label invest money into a video when it’s already peaked at the highest position? Would it not be wiser to invest on a single that needs it? That’s all I’m saying.

14 Lyndsey { 11.01.09 at 7:38 am }

You’ve summed it up perfectly – I too am ready for the childish era of her career to end!

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