Kylie Minogue has been named the most powerful celebrity in Britain according to researchers, beating out other high profile acts including Cheryl Cole, David Beckham, and George Clooney.

In response to the news, Minogue reportedly grew to 30-feet-tall and began leveling the city of London with fire breath and snaring spells, killing thousands.

As always, one of MuuMuse’s favorite remixers Dr. Rosen Rosen has returned to the mixing board with a healthy dose of delicious, downtempo electronica essential for immediate relief.

This time the medicine comes in the form of Tegan & Sara‘s new single, “Alligator.” If you like this, there’s much more where that came from: The duo recently announced a 17-track collection of “Alligator” remixes on iTunes out now.

There are truly a dozen or more brilliant moments within this mix, so please–don’t forget to take a dose!

DL: Tegan & Sara – Alligator (Dr. Rosen Rosen Rx)

Here is Christina Aguilera‘s new single, “Not Myself Tonight, produced by Polow Da Don.

Moments of Brilliance:
+ Ample amounts of panting, breathing, and sighing. (BRITNEY DID IT BETTER. JUST KIDDING BUT NOT ENTIRELY.)
+ “Is this me? You wanna get crazy? ‘Cause I don’t give a…” *YELP.*
+ It still sounds like BoA‘s “I Did It For Love.”
+ Something here also reminds me of Madonna, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s like a modern mix of something out of her Bedtime Stories sessions. Like an Orbital mix? I don’t know, maybe that’s just overly generous praise.
+ Probably quite nice played really loud.

However:
+ The verses are still a bit all over the place.

In conclusion, this song is basically amazing. I want to hear the uncensored version (if it exists)! Check above to hear the full, uncensored track.

If you don’t like it, fuck you.

Attention all toy soldiers: Get your guns up–it’s time to attack!

Nicki Minaj has officially deployed her debut Sean Garrett-penned single, “Massive Attack,” to radio tonight.

The song is a full-on assault of marching bass and squealing synths as Minaj spits swifter and harder than ever before. It’s a stomper, it’s a monster…it’s Barbie, bitch!

I AM IN LOVE.

Feel unprepared to join the Harajuku Barbie Army? Don’t be a garbage patch kid–better check yourself with a quick read of the Nictionary.

HOOAHHHH!

PUT DOWN THE GOGURT AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN: LINDSAY LOHAN HAS NEW MUSIC OUT.

“Stuck” just recently premiered on the net at a celebrity-blog-that-shall-not-be-named. The song is the perfect bridge between the electro-pop sound of Speak and the darker, rock-tinged burn of A Little More Personal (Raw).

“I am stuck, stuck, stuck…I can try to run, but I am not allowed.”

Can you say stuck on repeat? BECAUSE I MOST CERTAINLY CAN.

Here at last, the entire video for Kelis‘ new single, “Acapella.”

There’s a lot going on. (Cute dogs! Are they Alaskan malamutes?) Make sure you keep watching for the final few seconds. ADORABLE.

I was first introduced to Linda Sundblad back in 2006 after hearing her latest single at the time, “Oh Father.”

The song is a woefully delicious number, in which we find the guilt-ridden songstress pleading for forgiveness for indulging in dirty thoughts and some occasional self-pleasuring. “Touch of my Hand” it was not, but as with any singer who dives into that territory (see what I did there?), I was hooked. Soon after came Sundblad’s debut, Oh My God!, a compelling collection of meaty, fresh sounding pop tunes.

Four years later, Sundblad has returned to the Swedish music scene with Manifest. The album, much like its predecessor, is a bold pop record complimented by ’80′s synthesizers and modern electro noise.

Unlike some of the more forced pop revival efforts of late, there’s no pretense in the solid pop that Sundblad has produced for us here, making Manifest as instantly enjoyable as her debut.

With a touch of Madonna, a dollop of Ashlee Simpson, and a rich scoop of Robyn, Sundblad races through the whole of her album with sounds and words inspired by many of her pop contemporaries. The massive “Let’s Dance” is the perfect marriage of the three aforementioned artists, reveling in licks of faux-rock, classic dance rhythms, and brash delivery style.

While some of the brattier party anthems like “Making Out” and “2 All My Girls” may be slightly too cheeky for some, the hard hitting beats and slinky grooves scattered within the rest of Manifest have the ability to convert even the staunchest non-believers.

Highlights include “Intro (Choices),” the Kleerup-produced “History,” and “Damage,” the album’s shining triumph. Starting with a minimal synth beat and working into a sophisticated, ’80′s-tinged groove, the song evolves into an incredibly danceable contemplation: “Can we make up for the damage, or should I leave you out of my life for good?” The pain aches, but the beat feels so, so good.

While the album’s lyrics may be laden with heartbreak and tears, the sunny sounds of Manifest refuse to let itself to wallow in sorrow.

Perhaps the cheeriest of the bunch is “Suicide Girl,” a most fascinating, contradictory little ditty (and basically the musical version of one of my favorite Engrish tees).

While undeniably upbeat, Sundblad happily runs through the reasons she’s no good for this world. “Took too many pills, dialed 911, and now I’m playing cute in an ambulance.” It’s bound to offend a few, delight a few more, and keep everyone else talking.

Manifest is about as blissful as a pop record can be without crossing the border of camp. If you want a reason to smile, grab this one now.

Choice tracks: Intro (Choice), Damage, Suicide Girl, History

Manifest is now available worldwide on iTunes.

A few days ago, a very nice Muuser contacted me to thank me for publishing the Top Singles of 2009 list and inquire as to why I don’t publish lists more often. Frankly I have no idea, so I figured I’d start making lists on a more regular basis.

From now on (read: until I forget next week), I’m going to post the top five tracks I’m digging at the moment at the start of each week.

Yes, I know I have a last.fm account that could just as easily provide that information, but a play count doesn’t necessarily dictate my swooning accurately.

Without further ado, the first installment (of many?) this way cometh:

MuuMuse Approved Tracks for the Week of March 28, 2010

5. JES – Awaken
Moody, atmospheric dance. Smarter than your average trance.
4. Linda Sundblad – Damage
A minimal, tripping synth beat builds up in the best way possible as Sundblad goes through the woes of a love in crisis. Robyn-esque!
3. Diana Vickers – The Boy Who Murdered Love
Not only a killer melody, but some of the finest pop lyrics I’ve heard in a while. “You’re the boy who murdered love, cold hands and a heart of stone / You’re a Midas in reverse, you’re the king of pain and hurt.”
2. Gabriella Cilmi – Love Me Cos You Want To
An aching, brilliantly burning 21st century torch song. Gorgeous and heartfelt.
1. Sophie Ellis-Bextor – Bittersweet
A true disco gem, both modern and timeless. It’s set to become the official MuuMuse summer anthem of 2010!