HELLO AYM NUHDEEN UN HAYR WAY AHYR EN L.A. UN THEY VUHDAYOH SHET FER UNSAYSHUHBULL.

This is a taste of the upcoming video for Nadine Coyle‘s debut solo single, “Insatiable.” The full video will premiere on T4 on Channel 4 in the UK on Sunday, October 3.

There is nothing to do but watch in awe, wonder and amazement. I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE FULL VERSION.

Sky Ferreira, you crazy little bitch.

The video for “Obsession” is about Sky Ferreira obsessing over someone. It is also amazing.

Here, the teenage dream has the hots for–who else?–Reservoir Dogs star (and accomplished villain extraordinaire), Michael Madsen. I’ll save you the Google–his Wiki is right here. God, could you pick a more obvious star to stalk, Sky?

Now, let us cut the bullshit and analyze some of the AMAZING:

1. Her hair. It’s worth no less than three to four dissertations.

2. The opening glare-of-death as the couple suck face during the video’s introduction. (As Muuser Parker F. suggested, can someone please .GIF this moment for me, immediately? K THX.)

3. The side-eyed glare-of-death at the friends judging her freaky fandom while sitting in her bed around the 2-minute mark.

4. The fact that her ‘obsession’ is so ridiculously random, so insanely ironic, that she’s basically saying ‘YES I KNOW THIS SOUNDS KIND OF LIKE A KE$HA/KATY PERRY SONG BUT–HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!” ~*Throws glitter*~ and then basically punches us all right in the balls with her too-indie-to-comprehend-by-mere-mortals hipster socialite aura.

I just love everything about this.

Although I must admit: By the end, I’m left personally puzzled. Is the message supposed to be that this isn’t normal fan behavior? I guess that’s why Brit Brit never answers my calls. Or the letters written in blood.

“Obsession” was released on September 14. (iTunes)

PS: Still obsessing? Sink your teeth into this positively titillating piece regarding all things Sky, written by Sam Lansky. Then check out the MuuMuse interview with Sky Ferreira!

There were five things that immediately drew me to HerStory:

1.) Their name, which is ridiculous.
2.) The following line from the press release: “From the Supremes to Destiny’s Child, the R&B girl group has solidified its place in music. It’s time to welcome the future.”
3.) The fact that one of them (Miriah) is wearing a Grace Jones tee in their promo pictures.
4.) Their brief-but-amazing cover of Alicia Keys‘ “Un-Thinkable (I’m Ready).”
5.) A promising first single.

And now, a proper introduction. CUE THE PRESS RELEASE:

Meet the girls of HerStory: Marissa, Miriah and Asia – three young women from Los Angeles with a story to tell, and the voices to carry out their tale.

In 2008 their paths merged when Marissa, 19, Miriah, 18, and Asia, 19, met during a private audition in Los Angeles. Though coming from diverse backgrounds, including musical theatre and professional dance, the girls developed a close bond through the audition process, resulting in a stunning musical partnership

Alright, enough of that.

“Mack’n” is the debut single off of the group’s upcoming debut EP, Every Girl Has A Story. The song, which samples a line from Notorious B.I.G.‘s classic “Big Poppa,” is a delicious slow-sliding slice of modern R&B. I’m utterly obsessed with the chorus, and cannot wait to butcher the soaring “I just wanna let you know / You can try all you want” bit while belting this one out alone in my car.

Ciara, Brandy, DC3 and Danity Kane and everything else in between? Yep–I’m hearing all sorts of comparable sounds.

They’ve all got beautiful voices individually (check their YouTube account to see each member sing solo songs), but it’s the group’s harmonization–a skill that’s taken a backseat for most modern girl bands–that truly sets them apart as a quality act in my eyes/ears.

Aside from the silly name, I’m loving this group so far. Ready for more, please!

Don’t worry, this isn’t another scathing Glee rant. It’s a celebration of Britney‘s latest successes!

Last night, the Britney episode of Glee awarded the series its most viewed episode ever. According to Just Jared, the 13.3-million audience count beat out both the Madonna and Lady Gaga tribute episodes. Amazing!

Additionally, Britney’s songs (as covered by Glee cast, sad face) currently dominate at #1 (“Toxic”), #8 (“Stronger”), #9 (“…Baby One More Time”), #10 (“I’m A Slave 4 U”) and #11 (“Me Against The Music”) on the iTunes Top Songs Chart.

More importantly, Britney herself has re-entered the iTunes Top Songs chart! As of right now (7 P.M. EST), “Toxic” holds strong at #85, “Stronger” at #124, and “I’m A Slave 4 U” at #164, and “…Baby One More Time” at #194.

The power of Britney, y’all. TPOB.

Simple and clean is the go-to theme for Ciara‘s latest video.

Rather than working out a series of killer hip thrusts to her brassy slow jam “Speechless,” the singer allows light and shadow play to take center stage in her new video.

It’s simple, it’s understated. She looks pretty and natural. What’s not to like here?

There’s also something distinctly vintage about the cinematography that I love–it feels almost like a glossy early ’00′s R&B clip in places, no? Aaliyah comes to mind for some reason. Or maybe I’m just being cray cray.

If you’re not a fan of this clip/song, relax: This is just a foil to what will undoubtedly be a slammin’ clip for her soon-to-be smash, “Gimmie Dat.” Converse shoes with lucite heels and a big ol’ fanny pack? Oh, you just know it’s going down (basement).

If you haven’t already, please check out Ciara’s gorgeous new website. The site actually inspired my own recent re-design! I love the super slick look lately.

The divine Mizz Kylie Minogue graced the airwaves of Radio 1 earlier today to partake in the time-honored tradition of performing an acoustic set for Live Lounge.

Along with singing “Get Outta My Way”, “All The Lovers”, and “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head”, the disco diva also took a stab at “Wonderful Life,” the latest single by moody pants electro-duo, Hurts.

The two acts have a nice little back-and-forth going on, first with Kylie appearing on their album track “Devotion,” and then Hurts covering Kylie’s masterpiece, “Confide In Me.” GOD, JUST SLEEP TOGETHER ALREADY.

While performance is top notch (and accompanied by a truly lush string arrangement–I see you Steve Anderson!), it’s the dreamy, samba-influenced version of “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” that’s left me especially stunned. Heaven!

Thanks to Muuser Andre C. for the heads-up–and the photo!

Spoiler alert: I don’t like Glee.

I just don’t. I’m not trying to be ‘a hater.’ Lord knows, I’ve tried so many times to like this forsaken show. This episode now marks my fifth attempt to engage with this program, and trust me, I really wanted to like it–especially for tonight’s show.

First, let’s be clear here: I’m not that douche who turns his nose up at something merely because it’s popular. I run a fucking pop blog. Contrary to what more than a few people have accused me of, I’m not ‘just trying to be cool’ by going against the grain (which, ironically enough, is just what the show supposedly embraces.) Glee just happens to suck.

For a show that’s about ‘embracing the underdogs’, I think Glee reinforces stereotypes much more often than it empowers (having the one handicapped cast member sing “Stronger” while lifting weights and being hoisted into the air by the other football players–are you kidding me right now? Is that supposed to be funny? Or inspirational? Because it felt like a mockery to me), and–with the exception of two killer personalities (Brittany and Sue Sylvester), I can’t relate to or enjoy any of the characters in the slightest. Yes, that includes the stereotypical gay.

In any given episode, there are usually about three or four killer lines (Sue’s monologue about Hubert Humphrey and the Democratic National Convention tonight was especially amazing, for example), but the majority of the lines that aren’t killer literally destroy the entire experience. There’s a lot of mediocrity involved in the show’s dialogue. Like, BEYOND bad writing. And not in a cheesy-good-drama kind of way–I’m all for a Degrassi marathon whenever it comes on TV–but this? No, my friends…no.

I mean–what was that final line tonight from Lea Michele? “I was strangling you in my hands like a little bird. I get now that in order for this relationship to work I have to put out my hands and let you fly free”? Or from the football coach: “Don’t just stare at me like a donkey with a wooden leg.” MISERABLE! How is that not a brake-screeching WTF writing fail for so many viewers?

Sometimes the writing doesn’t even make sense: When Emma has a heart-to-heart with Will toward the end of the episode she says, and I quote: “You ever notice that Britney Spears only makes great music when she’s not chasing down paparazzi? She can’t just swallow a grenade and let her talent explode all over the wall. She’s gotta reign it in–just like you do.” I literally had no idea what the fuck it meant, and I sure as hell still don’t.

I suppose there’s a small chance that the true ‘genius’ of Glee is to delight in its own horribly embarrassing cliches and stereotypes, but I honestly believe that is to grant the show’s writers far too much credit.

…But I’ve gone on too long about Glee in general. Tonight was about Britney!

And indeed, for the first ten minutes, the show was an excellent, giggle-fest of Britney praise and silly humor. The Britney/Brittany S. Pierce bit was witty (as I just said, the Brittany character and her deadpan delivery style is an incredible asset to this program), followed by the seemingly senseless segue into the dentist’s office as a catalyst for the entire cast to experience ~Britney visions~ while under anesthesia. (I don’t know why an entire class is going to the dentist in shifts, BUT OKAY PLOT MOVING SO QUICKLY 1, 2, 3 AND GO!)

Brittany’s “Slave” performance was about as spot-on as you could get in honoring the original Britney experience: From pulling off the outfit(s) (I’m still not sure why “Oops” outfit required her to be surrounded by Gothic (?) children (?!), but whatever), to nailing the dancing, to singing the song.

She shined again in the “Me Against The Music” montage with Santana, although that initial Britney cameo was just a sloppy, awkward situation (“You’re hot,” moans Brittany. “Thanks. You’re sweet!” Britney chirps, over-enthusiastically and completely off beat.)

But from there on, things just got more and more shit.

“…Baby One More Time” was hideously over-acted thanks to Lea Michele’s gaping mouth lip-synch styling (or as my friend David so perfectly described the cover when it first leaked, “excruciatingly earnest”), while “Stronger,” as I said before, was just sort of embarrassing for everyone involved.

And let’s not forget the grand finale: The ~salacious~ near-acoustic rendition of “Toxic,” performed by the Glee cast. So sexy! So very sexy that the show’s writers thought they needed to have the horny dork screaming “SO SEXY!” at the performers while thrusting his hips, rubbing himself, and basically just losing his shit for the entire sequence.

As with this entire series, IT JUST DIDN’T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE. Why was he behaving like that?! It was so excessive and uncomfortable. And that wasn’t even slightly a sexy performance–there were jazz hands involved! It was like they took a sequence from Chicago and glossed it over with extra clothing and less moaning to be aired on the Disney Channel. Are you kidding me with this marshmallow fluff?

But alright, let’s get on with it: My main point of contention comes in the last few minutes of the episode, in which everyone returns to order following the shock and horror of the “Britney Spears sex riot” (which, by the way, isn’t exactly a knee-slapper of a phrase. Stop quoting it.)

So they all group back together in the rehearsal room and Will comes in to announce that, while Britney’s music “and celebrity” (?) indeed inspired the entire troupe to find themselves, it was ultimately time to say goodbye to Brit Brit and return to adult contemporary music. Moreover, the overall message seemed to be that one needed to be under the influence of drugs, sexually repressed, or both just to enjoy Britney’s music, and now it was time to return to ‘real music.’

After an entire episode that seemingly celebrated her music over the past ten years, we were left with the ultimate hypocrisy: Britney’s music simply ‘isn’t for us.’

And that’s what bothered me the most. The fact that this ‘groundbreaking’ series about society’s cast-offs and underdogs was essentially spewing the same moralistic, squeaky clean, cookie-cutter, social conservative BULLSHIT that I’ve battled as a fan since the very beginning: That Britney Spears is ultimately nothing more than a slut. That Britney Spears doesn’t equate to real music. But this Paramore track? Now that is real emotion.

As a fan, I took the ending as a complete and utter slap in the face.

Now, let us all watch Leah Michelle dedicate this touching little ditty to her on-again, off-again boyfriend and cry at the realization that she was limiting him from the one thing he loves most…football. Perrrrfect.

I hereby knight this episode with a most heartfelt “BITCH PLZ.”

Man your battle stations, Rihanna Navy!!!

Riri’s coming full force with the album art for LOUD, her upcoming record due out on November 16.

Above are the pieces I’ve put together that we’ve received so far–one from Facebook, one from Twitter, and now one from her mobile fan club.

One more to go…looking HOT as FUCK so far.

EDIT: That was quick! The official album cover is now complete, courtesy of Rihanna’s official website.

Abbbbbbbbsolutely gorgeous photograph. Unbelievable. Bright, crisp, and a touch of drama. I love it.

And for once, a pop princess’ creative director knows how to pick a font that doesn’t scream “OH MY GOD LOL THIS IS MY FIRST TIME USING PHOTOSHOP I LOVE GRADIENT EFFECTS N DROP SHADOWZ.”