It’s Official (Kind Of): The Paradiso Girls Have Split Up

IT IS TRULY A DARK NIGHT IN POP HISTORY.

Some Paradiso Girls drama has gone down tonight on the Twitter, leading to the conclusion that the “Patron Tequila” hit-makers have ceased to be.

First, Chelsea Korka (the pretty one) wrote this somewhat distressing and unconvincing series of tweets:

JUST SO EVERYBODY KNOWS!!!!! Paradiso Girls as I know of it is STILL A GROUP!!!!! YES we are all working on other projects and working…towards the future, but we are still a group!!!! You will hear it from us first if anything changes!!!!! Thank You and SMILE!!!! XXOO!!!

Minutes later, shit got crazy when Aria Crescendo (the insane one) tweeted Chelsea directly, saying:

why you confusing the fans ????????? u know the troth Chealsea so stop pretending……be truthful to ur hart for once

She then went on a mini-rant to a random fan, explaining in remarkably terrible English:

interscope don t want the group anymore and that s the trooth Chealsea know it too she is just a bit confused i guess:) oh no she didn t but keep teling u that the gorup steal going when is not and she know it…..but u guys beliv who ever u want i have nothing to prouve i give love to people that love me and i am honest to myself. now have to get back to work but i steal belive that the trooht will com out soon anough;) keep smiling;) ill be aiiiiiiiiight;)

For now, it seems pretty clear the group–at least as we know it–has disbanded. That, and one or more parties in this clusterfuck is hella drunk (and it sadly ain’t me.)

This is nothing less than an outright shame, as “Patron Tequila” is a brilliant tune that never got its full glory. As was “Boys Go Crazy.” As was “Down.”

RIP PARADISO GIRLS. You will never be forgotten–mostly because you were never allowed the opportunity to be remembered in the first place.

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