The bitch is back and better than ever.

- Britney Spears, to V Magazine.

In a brand new teaser story from E! News, the news outlet revealed that the much anticipated Mario Testino shoot will be featured in the upcoming Star Power Issue of V Magazine.

The story goes on to reveal that Britney’s been bumping the Black Eyed Peas and Christina Aguilera‘s “Woohoo (feat. Nicki Minaj)” (AMAZING), and that she enjoys cooking with her boys.

And, oh yes, she really did say the quote above. Are you ready for what’s next?

The issue will hit newsstands on March 3.

Check out this first look at the promotional poster for Britney’s upcoming studio album, Femme Fatale!

GORGEOUS, FLAWLESS, ICONIC, ETC.

Many thanks to Pop On And On, who graciously asked me to co-premiere this brand new photograph on both of our websites. (Also check him out on Twitter!)

Commentary to follow…just watch for now!

I didn’t get it at first.

My first listen to the growling alt-country-indie-electronica-whatever-you-want-to-call-it of “Ain’t Nobody,” Clare Maguire‘s debut single released in mid-October of last year, left me feeling cold.

The song’s accompanying abstract video proved even more perplexing, featuring a ghoulish looking Maguire belting out the track from a lone chair in the desert, her hair wildly whipping in the wind.

“It was all a bit too gothic for me,” the gorgeous chanteuse would later tell the BBC regarding her debut, which wound up stalling at #75 on the Singles Chart.

But upon hearing the first few seconds of “Shield and Sword” –the lead track off of Light After Dark, Maguire’s debut album released on February 28–it became almost instantly clear: The Clare Maguire experience is best served in full.

Read more »

Will.I.Am, professional bar mitzvah banger maker, has just tweeted a snippet of his upcoming track with Britney for her forthcoming studio album, Femme Fatale.

And while the song title makes me want to SET MYSELF ON FIRE, here’s how it sounds:

PROS
• The song consists of some major ’90′s house power piano chords, as well as a pulsing, inoffensive electronic beat–and that’s before we even hear the big fat bass in question.
• “I can be the treble baby, you can be the bass,” Britney announces on repeat, including a nice little harmonization during the third repetition.
• She pronounces “treble” in a way that sounds like “Trouble,” which also happens to be one of Britney’s greatest songs ever.
• Will.I.Am’s robot voice announces “The Femme Fatale” at the very end of the clip…that’s kind of fun. Also kind of annoying. Not sure on this one, actually.

CONS
• Will.I.Am exists on this track.

In summation: This has plenty of room to go either way–it could be massive or just massively embarrassing. It’s hard to properly judge, aswe haven’t even heard the bass yet.

Still, if snippets are anything to go by…this is by far the least impressive yet.

COME ON, give me something to remember…

Oh, look: Queen of Trash Ke$ha‘s gone and vommed out yet another completely obvious, frivolous glitter-drenched video about unicorn-headed men (Gaga‘s pissed) and epic rainbow laser gun battles with James Van Der Douche Beek.

Honestly…haven’t we seen this rehashed enough by Susan Boyle and Sarah McLachlan? BE. ORIGINAL. KEYSHIA.

LOLOL OMFG I’M J/K…It’s UH-MAZING!

The video for “Blow” is like a tour of the hazy dreamworld that K$ drifts into whenever she passes out on the Get $leazy Tour bus toilet, and it’s exactly the reason I first fell in love with this silly, smelly betch: She’s lookin’ all shades of garbage-chic, the plot and dialogue are genuinely hilarious…and let’s not forget, the song that its supporting utterly slays!

Hang onto your trash bag thongs, y’all…

This place about to BLO-OO-OW!

“Blow” was released to radio on February 8. (iTunes)

Sounds Like: Annie, Gwen Stefani
Genre: Electro-pop

Woman E are–contrary to the name–a one woman, two man production, featuring Ria Berlin on vocals, Uwe Doll on keyboards, production and song-writing duties, and Steve Rooney on drums.

Last September, the kitsch-pop trio premiered with their debut single, “Few And Far Between,” a catchy, sparkling moment of driving electro-pop that burned through the blogosphere to rave reviews.

Now, the London-based trio are back with a double A-side single for 2011: “Another Renaissance / You Don’t Have To Go.”

“When does patience become endurance? Does indifference mean internal bliss?” Berlin ponders on “Another Renaissance,” her candy-coated vocals bopping along the song’s gleeful hand claps and synthesizer sounds.

Yet despite the sugary sweet sound of both songs, Woman E pack a distinctly sophisticated bite in their lyricism, elevating their musical output from simple pop ditties to crunchier confections. “You don’t have to go, you can stay undecided / You don’t have to try and make sense of the silence,” Berlin riffs on top of the brooding beat of “You Don’t Have To Go.”

It’s not quite Depeche Mode, but it’s still much more dense than your average ‘party in da club’ electro-pop throwaway track–and we can always appreciate some more of that.

The band is currently offering the double A-side for free on Bandcamp.

“Another Renaissance/You Don’t Have To Go” will be released on March 14. (iTunes UK)

Fact: The Swedish government puts trace quantities of MDMA in the drinking water in Sweden. Because of this, Swedes feel their emotions with earth-shattering profundity, and have no choice but to make devastatingly beautiful pop music about it.

Fact: What I just wrote was not entirely true. (They use GHB.)

Seriously though, the music coming out of Sweden right now is at least twice as amazing as the next-most amazing thing you’re listening to right now (sorry, “Bruno Mars“). In my new series, Amazing Things I’m Listening to From Sweden, I discuss the best shimmery gloom-pop that our Scandineighbors have to offer, and explain why it’s better than your faves.

The Sound of Arrows – Nova

The Sound of Arrows are attractive Swedish boys who make delirious musical confections and have a track record of re-swizzling excellent tracks like like Gaga‘s “Alejandro” and Alphabeat‘s “Hole In My Heart” into sparkly pop masterpieces. This should be a no-brainer, right? And yet, as likable as “M.A.G.I.C” and “Into the Clouds” were, it never fully resonated with me. Their new single, “Nova,” finally hits all the right notes; it’s a lurching, swirling, wistful slice of synthpop that I can’t stop playing — and given the recent UK success of acts like Hurts, this next stab at success feels like perfect timing.

September – Party In My Head

As a platinum-haired Swedish songbird making happy-sad electro-pop, it’s something of an inevitability that September frequently comes in second to Robyn, her better-known counterpart. But even if September’s music has never been as masterfully evocative as Robyn is at her best, September’s output is refreshingly — consistent. The euphoric thrill of “Resuscitate Me” was a surefire crowd-pleaser, but September’s next Swedish single from her latest LP, Love CPR, is tipped to be “Party In My Head.” It’s an old-fashioned club stormer peppered with Usher-style “Ay!”s and an irresistible sing-song chorus (“I don’t care if the whole club is dead/ ‘Cause the party’s in my head, the party’s in my head”).

Asha Ali – The Beat

An Ethiopian-Swedish singer and writer, Asha Ali‘s breathy, emotive delivery and distinctive lyrics should have made her a big star — but alas, she remains virtually unknown outside of Sweden. Soulful single “Fire, Fire” and summery “Hurricane” set a solid precedent, but she’s hit her stride with “The Beat,” a haunting lo-fi number with hypnotic percussion and wistful vocals.

The Pusher – Blinded By the Dark

From looking at the single artwork, you’d think that The Pusher are a band comprised of those guys your college boyfriend used to have jam sessions with in the student lounge. And the opening moments of “Blinded By the Dark,” to be fair, deliver on the melodramatic title by sounding no different from the derivative post-grunge pablum that stateside acts like Nickelback and Daughtry are currently generating. But give it a minute. By the time that piercing, anthemic pop chorus comes around — a chorus that Erik Hassle would just kill for — it’s easy to see why “Blinded By the Dark” has been topping the Swedish charts.

Firefox AK – Boom Boom Boom

I’ve been having a love affair with Firefox AK for several years now — her debut, Madame, Madame, was decadent with electropop gems like eerie “What’s That Sound” and the jittery “Habibi,” and her sophomore LP, If I Were a Melody, remains as glitchily gorgeous as anything else I heard in 2008. Her most recent single, “Boom Boom Boom,” is perhaps mellower, but no less catchy than her earlier efforts, given its sickly sweet chorus and cool, shiny instrumentation.

(Note that an honorable mention is in order to Erik Hassle’s spectacular new single “Are You Leaving,” which would have topped this list had it not already been featured as a MuuMuse Approved track.)