MuuMuse Approved Tracks for the Week of April 18, 2011

5. Lady Gaga – Judas
Oh, the betrayal! Gaga’s newest single mashes the song structure of “Bad Romance” with the merciless pounding of Nicole Scherzinger’s “Poison” to create a shriek-filled ode to subservience and codependency. Whether you love it, hate it or proclaim it to be the work of the Devil, one thing’s for sure: “Judas” is about to plague the airwaves for the rest of the year. (LISTEN) (iTunes)

4. Nicole Scherzinger – Right There
Sure, her album came out exactly one month ago, but I’m still twerking my hips to this “What’s My Name?”-esque groove. Produced by Jim Jonsin and co-penned by the reliably naughty Ester Dean, Scherzy Baby’s Caribbean-tinged love letter scribed for the man who knows how to “go down, down, duh-down” is right up my street. (LISTEN) (iTunes UK)

3. Tinashe – Chainsaw
While ex-Stunners sensation Tinashe is still gearing up for the release of her debut solo single, this leak from her studio sessions with “Like A G6″ hit-makers The Cataracs has the bass bumping so hard I’ve already misplaced my pants. (LISTEN)

2. Jennifer Lopez – Papi
Did J. Lo have you heading to the floor with her last hit? Good–now stay there! La Lopez is back with another Latin-infused RedOne club thumper–and arguably one of her best club anthems since “Waiting For Tonight.” Mm papi, love you! (LISTEN) (iTunes)

1. Wynter Gordon – Til Death
One of MuuMuse’s favorite pop vixens retuns with her long-awaited second Australian single, “Til Death”! Armed with a punchy chorus and some of the best lyrics in recent dance-pop history (“‘Til death do we party, with the music I die!”), Wynter’s latest is destined to make the rounds at every club across the galaxy. Watch for the MuuMuse Approved post later this week! (LISTEN) (iTunes Australia)

Check out the new layout of BritneySpears.com, which was just unveiled this week.

It’s kind of like a 1996 Geocities fan page meets those insane pop-up websites that M.I.A. created during the promotion for her last studio album, /\/\/\Y/\.

I GOT YO CRAZY!

In what is truly shaping up to be her strongest album in almost a decade, Jennifer Lopez has just unleashed a brand new cut from her upcoming studio album, LOVE? to iTunes this weekend: “Papi.” And guess what? IT’S HOT FIYA!

“Papi” finds J. Lo working with Gaga hit-maker RedOne and his writing camp once again, the same winning team behind her massive global smash single, “On The Floor.”

Like her last hit, “Papi” borrows heavily from the same song production featured on RedOne’s (regrettably flopped) 2010 effort: Kat DeLuna‘s Inside Out. (It must be “Party O’ Clock” somewhere…right? *Balloon slowly deflating noise.*)

Featuring scorching club beats and a delicious, hair whippin’ friendly chorus (“Rock your body, rock your body…dance for your papi!”), “Papi” might just be one of Lopez’s best club commanders since “Waiting For Tonight.” You can almost see the green lasers shooting through the smoke-filled dance floors already!

Aside from the song’s already infectious beat, it’s the breakdown–which pairs Lopez’s luscious Spanish instructions (“Step up, Step up! Let your hair down!”) against a serious, stomping beat–that truly takes the track to a whole new level of amazing.

I mean, hello: A track where J. Lo yells at me in two different languages to shake it vigorously for my man? Now that’s something worth Muusing about!

Move your bah-day! Move your bah-day!

“Papi” was released on April 16. (iTunes)

Lady Gaga has just unveiled the official cover for her upcoming studio album Born This Way…

…And I have officially thrown in the towel.

I CANNOT.

Just one week before Easter weekend, Lady Gaga (not-so-accidentally) sprung a leak early this morning, resulting in the sudden rush release of “Judas,” the religion-wrought second single from Gaga’s upcoming studio album, Born This Way.

As I pointed out when the track first began to leak, “Judas” come packaged on top of a relentlessly grinding, “sledge-hammering” beat; a natural progression from the noisy, ‘everything-but-the-kitchen-sink’ production of “Born This Way,” now aided by RedOne‘s trademark repeat-heavy styling. (The song also doesn’t sound entirely different from a similarly sledge-hammering RedOne production, Nicole Scherzinger‘s “Poison.”)

As “Poker Face” is to “Bad Romance,” so too is “Bad Romance” to “Judas.” The song follows in a nearly identical structure to “Bad Romance,” from the same soaring chorus down to the “whoa-oh-oh!” follow-up. Instead of “ra-ra, ah-ah-ah!”, we have “Ju-da, Ju-da-ah!” (Not exactly the most daring show of creativity, to be sure.)

“Judas” is also quite similar in theme, as Gaga treads lightly across a sprinkling of biblical references (oh hay, Jesus!) and demonic undertones to weave a tale of–well, a bad romance: “I learned love is like a brick, you can / Build a house or sink a dead body,” Gaga speak-sings. It’s not quite blasphemous enough to incite fury amongst bible-thumpers, but still enough to keep the Illuminati fear-mongers pointing their trembling fingers for weeks.

About three minutes into the chaos, the song gives way to an utterly insane, tribal-meets-Bollywood electronic breakdown. “But in the cultural sense, I just speak in future tense / Judas kiss me if offenced, or wear an ear condom next time!” Gaga cries. As it turns out, a nonsensical chant about fame hookers vomiting their mind works well enough when masked by a mile-a-minute mixture of electro-tribal beats. But in writing? It’s one of Gaga’s most embarrassing, cringe-worthy moments in lyricism…ever.

Redemption comes immediately thereafter with the song’s post-tribal bridge, which strip away some of the more noise to expose a gorgeous ’90′s hi-NRG beat: “Jesus is my virtue / And Judas is the demon I cling to…I cling to!” Gaga victoriously cries, her clenched paw raised high. It’s within this brief moment of clarity that the song truly shines brightest.

In short: “Judas” is a good pop song: It’s catchy (increasingly so after each play), full of textured beats, and (mostly) danceable. But in the same breath, it’s loud, grating, entirely derivative and slightly obnoxious, thus ushering in the larger issue at hand: My complete inability to connect with the Born This Way era.

As with “Born This Way,” I’m hopelessly neither here nor there with “Judas.” The beats bang hard and the melodies are catchy, but the song’s breakneck speed, yelping caws and headache-inducing production value are all a bit too much to embrace.

Every song on The Fame and The Fame Monster (MuuMuse Review) made sense from the start: I didn’t have to play “LoveGame” a hundred and fifty times in order to discover a melody buried deep within layers of loud, noisy production–it was a single play, and an instant love affair.

But now, I have to try with Gaga–really, really try in order to love. While she’s busy proclaiming that the late Alexander McQueen penned “Born This Way” from Heaven and that her “Born This Way” face spikes are actual bones she was born with, it’s a song as underwhelming as “Judas” that truly adds weight to the most common charge from critics: That Lady Gaga is style over substance.

While “Judas” isn’t actually bad, I’ve truly had just about enough of Gaga Nouveau: “Born This Way” and “Judas” don’t even slightly hold a candle to the infectiousness of “Just Dance” or “Bad Romance,” nor the slinky beats of “Starstruck” or “So Happy I Could Die,” nor the celebratory joy of “Boys Boys Boys” and “Monster.”

I know this means I’ll have to invest in a few more ear condoms this year, but hey…I was born this way, baby.

Listening post!

Please enjoy this full stream of Lady Gaga‘s second single “Judas,” courtesy of Gaga Daily. Review pending!

“Judas” is now available on iTunes.

The moment of reckoning is nearly upon us, but the fruits of Lady Gaga‘s latest labor have (more or less) already spilled over.

This morning, several major snippets from Gaga’s upcoming second single “Judas” hit the web in low quality, which you can now hear above.

EDIT: Because of the leaks, “Judas” will reportedly be released to iTunes TODAY.

Featuring a relentlessly grinding, delicious beat (more accurately described as “sledge-hammering”), “Judas” meshes well with the noisy, ‘everything-but-the-kitchen-sink” production of “Born This Way,” yet is significantly bettered by RedOne‘s trademark catchy, repeat-heavy style.

(The song also doesn’t sound entirely different from another sledge-hammering RedOne production, Nicole Scherzinger‘s “Poison.”)

“I’m just a Holy fool / Oh baby, he’s so cruel / But I’m still in love with Judas, baby,” Gaga sings during the song’s wicked chorus.

As PopJustice pointed out in their preview of the song, “Judas” borrows heavily from the structure of “Bad Romance,” including a soaring chorus, a “woah-oh-oh!” follow-up after the main chorus, and plenty of demonic post-chorus yowls of “Juda! Juda! Juda-Gaga!”

While we’ll have to wait until Tuesday to hear the song in high quality, it’s almost guaranteed from these clips that Gaga’s about to notch herself another global smash with “Judas”–an already superior follow-up to her album’s lead single.

“Judas” will be released on Tuesday, April 19. (iTunes)

BOW THE FUCK DOWN.

Princess RiRi took to the stage of American Idol tonight to perform her upcoming US single, “California King Bed.”

The performance was–without exaggeration–Rihanna’s greatest live vocal performance yet. She hits every single note, arguably besting the studio version of the song. It must be seen to be believed!

Apart from the flawless delivery, Ri looked absolutely stunning in her floor-length gown, backed by a gorgeous stage veiled in smoke, curtains, and dancers decked out in all white.

I’m so proud of you, RiRi! I love you! Rihanna Navy forever!