Britney made a not-so-secret appearance at the 2011 Billboard Music Awards tonight, ‘performing’ “S&M” with Rihanna for the show’s opening. She later ‘performed’ “Till The World Ends” with Nicki Minaj. It was bad.

Sorry, but…

RAPTURENEY, SEE US THROUGH.

Yesterday, semi-gossip rag US Weekly reported that Britney would be appearing at the Billboard Awards tomorrow night to perform not once, but twice: Once with Rihanna, and once with Nicki Minaj.

From the article:

The 29-year-old pop star will take the stage two times.

Spears will do one performance — potentially the opening number — with Rihanna, 23. The duo will perform Rihanna’s hit song “S&M.”

Spears will also be performing for the first time ever with Nicki Minaj, 26. Spears and Minaj will partner up for a remix of Spears’ hit “Till The World Ends.”

Um, “S&M” and the “Till The World Ends” remix? Sounds too good to be true, right?

Later today, some faithful Spearleaders noticed a rather suspect mention in a news update regarding the 2011 Billboard Awards on the official website of MSA (McDonald/Selznick Associates), a choreography/dancer management agency:

Stefanie Roos is the Artistic Director for Rihanna’s performance. Tiffany Olson is the Creative Director for Britney Spears’ performance, overseeing for Tour Director Jamie King.

Okay, so now it’s a little bit more believable, right?

Then, the Billboard Twitter account started tweeting some awfully suspect things, including this:

and btw, @keshasuxx blew it UP today at rehearsals. as did @NICKIMINAJ. as did… #BBMA sun 8PM ABC

Okay, so now I’m starting to tremor a little, right?

Finally, on top of everything else, Britney herself just tweeted the following:

So glad the world didn’t end. I was looking forward to watching the Billboard Awards tomorrow. http://twitpic.com/50toip -Britney

So what does all that mean? Well, according to my BritBrit Vanilla Candle-scented probability calculator, I’d give this one a 99.9% chance of happening.

In conclusion: If it does actually go down, you can officially consider the Rapture a day late, because I will literally be in Heaven with the Baby Jesus shaking and crying BECAUSE I WILL BE DEAD.COM/COFFIN.

PLEASE BE TRUE.

Merry Friday, Muusers!

“Put Your Hands Up” is Nerina Pallot‘s breezy first single from her upcoming studio album, Year Of The Wolf. I’ve Muused about it before, as I love both the song and the video very much.

But now, one remix has just taken the song to THE NEXT LEVEL.

This is “Put Your Hands Up (Like It’s 1987) (We Are The Chatterley’s Mix),” a mix that does exactly what its name implies: Adding in some ’80′s-tastic synthesizers and shimmering electronica, Andy Chatterley (record producer, remixer and husband to–you guessed it!–Nerina Pallot) makes the already sunny springtime single shine ten times brighter.

Couples that remix together, stay together. Put your hands up!

“Put Your Hands Up” was released in the UK on April 24. (iTunes UK)

It’s the video premiere of Kerimmaculate Hilson‘s “Lose Control,” featuring Nelly!

Watch as Miss Keri Baby goes tribal-future Glamazon, doing the pretty girl rock inside of a massive light cube in space (WUT?), pulling shapes and howling at the moon in a smoke-filled desert (WUT?) and taking a quick dip in a steamy jungle bath (WUT?) while crooning one of the best cuts from her sophomore record, No Boys Allowed.

Sure, there’s literally nothing that makes sense about this video, and the green eye makeup is beyond unfortunate–but it’s fine. It’s FINE. The dancing is fantastic, and I still absolutely la, la, love this song!

SLAY ‘EM, MISS KERI BABY.

“Lose Control” was released to radio in May. (iTunes)

INSERT DAMNING CHOIR CHANTS HERE.

Check out the first promo commercial for the ridiculously hyped, massively anticipated premiere of US X Factor.

It includes Simon! And Paula! And L.A. Reid! And Scherzy Baby! A brief flash of The Almighty Lloyd! Anyone can audition! $5 million prize! It’s all over the news! Greatest singing competition ever!

But most importantly of all:

CHEZZA!!!

GLAMOROUS GODDESS OF PERFECTION AND SPLENDOR.

Plus, they even show little snippets of her music videos! EEEE!!!!!!!!

Fact: The Swedes are a superhuman race sent from the future to make amazing pop music.

Due to this undeniable truth, Swedish pop stars you’ve never heard of snatch wigs from your favorite pop stars for fun — just because they can. In my ongoing series, Amazing Things I’m Listening to From Sweden, I review the best Swedish exports that are currently blowing up the charts (i.e., getting blasted at ear-splitting volume in my apartment).

Le Kid – America

Pop outfit Le Kid first appeared on the scene in 2009 with “Mercy Mercy,” a thoroughly enjoyable pop gem that sounds a bit like a less sultry redux of Girls Aloud‘s single “Can’t Speak French.” But Le Kid’s ensuing singles, like the ebullient “We Should Go Home Together,” were a little too schlagerific for my taste — as evidenced by their particularly high-octane Melodifestivalen entry, “Oh My God.” Their less giddy efforts, including their striking cover of The Killers‘ perennial favorite “Mr. Brightside,” pointed in a direction of greater subtlety — and that’s exactly the stride they’ve hit with their newest single, “America.” It belongs to the same category of nostalgic midtempo dance-pop that Xenomania have mastered with Girls Aloud and Mini Viva (see “Call the Shots” and “I Wish” for more) without collapsing into schlager hysterics — and that’s something worth celebrating.

Swedish House Mafia – Save the World [feat. John Martin]

Swedish House Mafia have certainly demonstrated a track record for epic club jams, and “Save the World” is no exception. Instrumentally, it’s ground well traveled, but the dizzying euphoric heights the song builds to work just as well as they ever have. “Save the World” is further redeemed by excellent vocals from John Martin, whose voice — like a combination of Miike Snow‘s Andrew Wyatt and Coldplay‘s Chris Martin — strikes just the right balance between strength and longing. A surefire summer smash.

Therese – Drop It Like It’s Hot

This dance anthem has been kicking around online for awhile, but it’s just crossing my radar now — and I must admit that 2010 would have been a much more enjoyable year if it had included a little Therese. What starts out as by-the-numbers house music turns into a massive singalong smash by the unforgettable chorus. Lyrics are as follows: “Dance, dance, why don’t you dance like a freak/This ghetto place is so much better when you dance with me.” Now featuring a glittery remix package from house kings Wideboys, Therese deserves to join the ranks of September and Velvet among Sweden’s most prized dance divas.

Killabite – Follow Me Home

It’s ironic, yet not altogether surprising, that Los Angeles-based duo Killabite are only releasing music in Sweden, given that their brand of glitchy, gleaming dance-pop is decidedly Scandinavian in its sensibilities. I’d love to see the duo gain some domestic traction, but until then, I can still get some serious mileage out of “Follow Me Home,” a thunderous slice of futuristic pop co-written by famed DJ Axwell. Killabite’s storied pedigree doesn’t hurt, either: female vocalist Chau Phan performed backup vocals for the Holy Spearit herself on “I Wanna Go” and “Criminal.”

Those Dancing Days – I’ll Be Yours

Hipster girl group Those Dancing Days got some blog buzz back in 2008 with the release of their candy-sweet single, “Hitten,” but I would have expected them to garner more hype with the release of their sophomore album, Daydreams & Nightmares. After all, the record was produced by such luminaries as Max Martin & Shellback, as well as Patrik Berger, who has helmed tracks for fellow Swedes Robyn, Erik Hassle, and Icona Pop. Those Dancing Days exist in the same luscious retro space as The Pipettes and, to a lesser extent, Lykke Li — and “I’ll Be Yours” is as wistfully charming as anything they’ve done yet.

Release notes: “Save the World,” “Drop It Like It’s Hot,” and “I’ll Be Yours” are all available on US iTunes — “America” and “Follow Me Home” are still awaiting US release, but can both be found on Swedish iTunes and 7digital SE.

Kitsuné, seminal purveyors of fashionable dance music, are out with their latest collection of well-curated indie pop cuts this week. Here are some reasons why this is a good thing:

1. Although most Kitsuné compilations skew heavily toward the indie dance spectrum, this one is actually “indie dance” themed. This means that it’s indier and dancier than ever.

2. Alexander Dexter-Jones has a song called “Phantastic Phone Call.” Alexander Dexter-Jones is the half-brother of Mark Ronson, which means that great music is in his genes; he is also a sibling of designer Charlotte Ronson, which means that fashion* is also in his genes.

3. Two of the artists featured are Swedish — first, the ever-lovely Icona Pop, who team up with Logo X on the punchy “Luvsick,” and The Touch, whose track “Sermon” is a masterpiece of weird tribal minimalism, evoking The xx at their very best. Kitsuné founder Gildas explains: “The track’s about an oxygen-less civilisation that’s about to collapse.” (I don’t want to put the cart before the horse, but this is the second-best song about not having any air that I’ve ever heard, bested only by “No Air” by Jordin Sparks.)

If you put this on at a party, it is very likely that all of your mean hipster friends will begin to dance — not because they want to, but because they just can’t help themselves.

And that’s about all you need to know.

*PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A VERY FASHIONABLE COLLECTION.

Want to win your own copy of the collection?

MuuMuse is proud to be giving away
5 copies of Kitsuné Maison Compilation 11.

To enter to win, send an email to muumuse@gmail.com with the subject line “KITSUNE.”

Five winners will be randomly selected and notified on Thursday, May 26. Good luck!

Kitsuné Maison Compilation 11 was released on May 16. (iTunes)

QUIT BEATING YOUR GUMS AND PAY ATTENTION.

Selegenda Gomez is all dolled up for the flapper-tastic album cover of her third studio album, When The Sun Goes Down–due out on June 28.

Lady Gomezmerizing sure looks swell, doesn’t she? Takes me to another place! I’m already busy cleaning out my bathtub to start brewing the Giggle Water. SUFFRAGE! SUFFRAGE! Now mind your beeswax Mac, and let’s make whoopee already! Applesauce!