Uncategorized

Godney, Gaga, RiRi, Katy and Legendtina: A Guide to Pop Star Halloween 2012

Happy November, Muusers!

Did you all have a spooky good Halloween last night? Did you trick and/or treat? Did you binge on lots and lots of candy that you stole from your little cousin? Are you still nursing your All Hallows Eve hangover? Rest assured: So are our favorite pop princesses–and they certainly came dressed to impress!

But just what did our ghoulish girls wear to ring in the creepiest, crawliest time of the year? Let’s find out!

Illuminati High Priestess Rihanna kept true to her #Unapologetic self last night, dressing up as a sexy marijuana bride–complete with a weed bouquet and everything. She’s about that life, you know! It looks like she probably had a really fun night of Instagramming, shining bright and smoking many fat blunts of diamonds–right before she slaughtered lambs in the name of Satan to support the New World Order. Err, I mean the Rihanna Navy! G4L! G4L!

Originality: #PhuckYoFaves

Sexy: #PhuckYoDick

Scary: #PhuckYoDisturbia

Iconicness: #HappyFearlessChalice

Whoops! RiRi wasn’t the only princess paying homage to the puff-puff-pass! Lady Gaga played the part of Princess High last night, donning an extravagant golden crown of cannabis leaves and elegant I’ve-been-in-the-pool-way-too-long algae hair. She’s a Disney princess–a Disney princess who thinks weed is really, really awesome! #Stache.

It’s truly shocking that the “Born This Way” chanteuse’s outfit proved slightly unoriginal, but it’s fine–from the pictures, Gaga was likely carried out by Zedd and Madeon and has absolutely no recollection of the night’s events, anyway.

Originality: Express Yourself

Sexy: Has anybody seen my disco stick?

Scary: PAWS UP, MOTHERFUCKER

Iconicness: I Cannotabis

Katy Perry shocked and alarmed her rabid passionate base of KatyCats last night when she revealed a Halloween costume that was in no way, shape or form related to her breasts: She was Jane Lane from Daria! The sarcasm-laden character was a perfect costume choice for the Queen of Eye-Rolls and Endless Scoffs. Plus, she looked totes cute to boot. BUT WHERE’S THE WHIPPED CREAM FILLING?! Meow, or whatever.

Originality: Eh

Sexy: I mean

Scary: Like

Iconicness: Whatever

It should come as a surprise to no one that Legendtina‘s Halloween costume drew inspiration from one of her most cherished idols: Legendtina.

The iconic “Get Mine, Get Yours” songstress briefly stepped outside of her lair for her shaking and crying fans, donning a crown made out of unsold Bionic albums, a fluffy purple weave stained with a light misting of Christina Aguilera: Secret Potion and three coats of Blu-That Other Color lipstick (According to MuuMuse insiders, upon the release of Taylor Swift’s last album, Legendtina now refuses to use the term “red.”)

The stunning outfit was hand-stitched by fans who already knew her name using Britney’s 2007 MTV VMA “Gimme More” leggings and high boots, the actual wings of bats and a ironic Ann Demuelemeester corset acquired in a dumpster outside Conway Recording Studios.

Originality: SAY

Sexy: SAY

Scary: SAY

Iconicness: I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME

While other pop flops were busy getting hammered at house parties, Godney was busy being famous and relevant last night while judging the first live show of X Factor. And despite the fact that the show was approximately as exciting as watching Fantasy Twist dry on a wall, The Holy Spearit still managed to shine–quite literally. ALL HAIL CHRISTMAS TREENEY.

Seriously, it looked like someone cut off a piece of the star dress from the Circus shoot and wrapped it around our Queen’s neck. I don’t really know. And the bangs? I don’t really know about that, either. But the lessers will deal, because the bitch still looked flaw-free, and she name-dropped “Outrageous.” Sort of.

Originality: Mona Lisa

Sexy: So fire hot, a 20 out of 10

Scary: I think I need some hypnotherapy

Iconicness: It’s Britney, bitch