Kelly Rowland’s “Kisses Down Low” Video Features No Actual Kisses Down Low (But Buy It on iTunes)

by Bradley Stern


Here’s the thing: I fucking love me some Kelly Rowland “Kisses Down Low.”

I sing it in the shower. I sing it in the rain. I sing it all the livelong day. When I’m making myself a bologna and cheese sandwich, I murmur “Mike WiLL made it” after every bite. And when I’m eating my bowl of Lucky Charms at night, I’m crooning “give it to me slow, baby just like that” to each individual marshmallow.

Obviously, then, my expectations were rather high for Miss Kelly’s accompanying visual to her Mike WiLL Made It masterpiece. So when it finally dropped today, and I watched the video in all of its glossy technicolor glory…I was let down. In fact, my back didn’t even slightly arch.

Why? Well, it’s too cutesy! Wig and eyeshadow playtime is fun and all (for Katy Perry fans, I guess)–but this is K. Row, y’all! The ferocious Super Bowl showstealer! (Well, Michelle Williams was the true Queen of the Night, but Kelly’s entrance made Bey briefly look Bey-sic.) I mean, Kelly Rowland, the hottest dressed woman at 2013 Grammys with the body that had me seriously considering switching teams for, like, 10 whole seconds!

Instead, we got some glossy Kidz Bop dress-up shit. (And don’t get me started on the fact that all the wig-juggling reminded me of Miss Keri Baby‘s “Pretty Girl Rock.” Yeah, I said it.)

Yes, she still looks bomb. Fiya hot. And yes, the body still looks tight and right. But c’mon–it’s a boner jam!

Is it so wrong of me to want to see her in “Motivation” mode? What’s with these bright rainbow colors? A swing? HEARTS?! While I didn’t actually anticipate any onscreen tongue play, I also didn’t expect the video for an ode to cunnilingus to look so…Lisa Frank.

Then again it doesn’t matter. It’s Kelendria, and she remains a Rowlegend.

So remember, in case you forgot: “Kisses Down Low” is on iTunes. If you don’t support it, you’re dead to Kelly, and you’re dead to me. And Michelle hates you too. #BuyKissesDownLowOniTunes

“Kisses Down Low” was released on February 1. (iTunes)

  • http://twitter.com/connerlately Conner B.

    I really just think the only fault is a terrible video concept. I could see it not actually being that bad with bright colors and Katy-ish ness if it were planned out right. That is just SO NOT the case, though. I think she just needs to move on from this single and pretend it never happened. The constant iTunes reminders have honestly just turned people completely away. Do some REAL promo, gurl. If they were gonna be it on iTunes… they would have already!

  • http://twitter.com/dosomethin2nite Joanna

    I clicked on this article out of curiosity. This was actually my first time hearing this song. It’s a cutesy pop song & I actually don’t mind it. Sure it follows the same sexually explicit formula that girls like Ciara & Christina Millian have used but who cares? It’s catchy & instantly enjoyable. As for the video, I have to agree..it’s terrible! Kelly looks beautiful as usual but I could’ve done without the Katy Perryish hearts & rainbow theme. It seemed like the kinda set an 8 yr old girl would create. And that blonde wig looked terrible on her. BUT I still enjoyed the song & wish her the best cuz she really is talented beyond belief. I swear, she’s the JC Chasez to Beyonce’s Justin Timberlake. Lots of talent, lots of potential but she’s always overshadowed by her bandmate. She deserves better!

  • SerferTJ

    I wouldn’t say this is Katy Perry inspired, (cuz she doesn’t have random projectiles coming out of her breasts) but more Nicki Minaj, HyunA, and K-Pop inspired, and that’s what I loved about the video!

    Kelly’s gonna look FIIIIINE in anything, but does she’s already done the dark-lit-abandoned-brothel thing in “Motivation” and “Ice”, and the song KDL sounds a lot like the other singles, so why not doing an opposite video was really refreshing.
    Could have used some proper choreography, but still a stunning vid!

  • http://twitter.com/ItsCMaddox Claudio Maddöx

    I LOVE this song! The video is cute. That blonde wig tho… BURN IT Kelly!