Danity-Kane-Lunch-5

BREAK OUT THE FIRST AID KITS AND JINGLE THEM KEYS: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Once upon a time, there were five little girls: Shannon, Aundrea, D. Woods, Dawn, and Aubrey. These girls had a dream to make music and entertain. They went by the name of…Danity Kane.

They were created by an evil genius with a fetish for flopping named Diddy, who took them all away from us—but not for long.

It’s a Danity dream that none of us ever actually saw coming: Five years after the release of their second (and, at the time, final) studio album Welcome To The Dollhouse, the members of Danity Kane just reunited. (Well, 4 of them: D. Woods was a no show—still no word on whether she’ll be involved.)

Yesterday, the four met up in LA to discuss The Great Danity Komeback, which reportedly includes a new album and tour—and all without the man who pioneered their creation. When TMZ asked the foursome about Diddy’s involvement, Queen O’Day unleashed her inner Internet troll and replied simply: “Who’s that?” Masterfully executed.

That Danity Kane Reign was more of a brief blip on the weather map, but when it reigned, it poured: There was “Showstopper,” One Shot,” “Touching My Body” and of course, “Damaged,” one of the greatest pop records of the 00’s. Plus, those album tracks were vastly underrated—”Sleep On It”? “Lights Out”? “2 Of You”? I mean, “Ecstasy (feat. Rick Ross)” alone could make a strong contender for our next national anthem.

Apart from The Pussycat Dolls, they were the Last Great Hope of American Girl Groups.

But let’s not work ourselves into the tizzy just yet. The ladies have a lot of work to do, and their sounds have evolved individually: Dawn’s gone down her moody, forward-thinking alt-R&B path with GoldenHeart, Shannon’s dabbled in country-pop, Aubrey’s begun a brand new O’Day with flaming hot club bangas and Pia Toscano-penned power ballads and Aundrea, well…I actually no idea. I’m just going to assume she’s been staring blankly at a copy of Welcome To The Dollhouse for the past five years and poking pins into a Diddy voodoo doll.

Anyway, this is the greatest news ever: Keep on and Danity Kane on.

danitykane

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I'm like the ringleader. I call the shots.

  • Nick

    9 times out of 10 when someone says “SCREAMING” they’re actually staring at their computer screen blankly, but when I read this news, I may have actually screamed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=701554082 Patrick Starr

    i am literally screaming!

  • http://twitter.com/ItsCMaddox Claudio Maddöx

    It’s like the doors to heaven have opened.