Hope you all cashed in this month on steak & BJ day…if not, celebrate tonight! :)
— Christina Aguilera (@xtina) March 21, 2014
LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (Los Angeles, CA) — Newly engaged chanteuse, 2012 Soundtrack Of The Year Japan Gold Disk Award winner and sexier, more selfless version of Mother Teresa Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera is a self-proclaimed true lover of blowjobs.
The startling yet iconic revelation, made late Thursday evening on Twitter, comes during a brief lull in #LotusPromo for the GRAMMY-award winning icon as she prepares to walk down the aisle with longtime fan, Matt Rutler.
“Oh, is that surprising to you?” the legend shrugged during a brief Excluusive interview outside the main gate of Legendtina’s Lair with the LNN just moments ago. “I mean, have you seen the way I handle a microphone? Do you even know what a 16 second note feels like when it’s being sung against your SAY!”
The Legend was not afraid to explain some of her own “advanced” bedroom techniques to the frenzied huddle of reporters and fans at her door, including the Backdoor To Basics, the Lotus Riser and the Bionic Blowjob, which involves the use of an elastic band, a scoop of ice cream and a bobblehead.
“Licky licky, yum yum,” she added with a cackle.
Still, the revelation comes as somewhat of a surprise to fans worldwide, who know the GRAMMY Award-winning icon best for her female empowerment anthems. “Don’t worry, fans — it’s still a ladies first situation,” she assured the crowd. “But once I get mine, you get yours.”
Others suspected that the tweet was a veiled gesture: Asked whether or not the reference to “BJ” was in fact a subtle nod to Britney Jean, the latest studio album by former Mickey Mouse Club companion and current Las Vegas performer Britney Spears, the Legend fell silent: “Who? She has an album out?”
While the Back To Basics beauty was more than eager to share sex tips for fellow true lovers of intercourse, she had no time to answer further questions about upcoming music.
“Not now, fans. I have to be up early — sex for breakfast,” she explained with a quick wink before spitting out her gum at the crowd of fans and stepping back inside the lair.
LET THERE BE BLOWJOBS.
