For a woman so maddeningly hellbent on cultivating an image of perfection, Beyoncé sure has been fuckin’ up with her latest campaign.
In the past few months, she’s premiered a no1curr buzz track, a hyped countdown leading to a Pepsi commercial celebrating her iconic-ish looks (only two or three are memorable, let’s be real) and a snippet of new song “Grown Woman,” a Superbowl performance with no new songs, a world tour with no new songs (until last night) and a highly hysterical ban on professional photographers in concert to avoid any and all unflattering photos (which I’m hoping leads to a single re-release called “Flaws & All (Just Kidding, Delete That Fucking Photo).”)
Now, another piece of the puzzle has emerged.
And now for something completely perfect. (Or so it seems…)
The trailer for Baz Luhrmann‘s The Great Gatsby reboot for the New Generation has arrived today, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire and Carey Mulligan.
Not only does the movie look absolutely gorgeous, dazzling and grandiose (much like Luhrmann’s Moulin Rouge), but the soundtrack is positively the stuff of dreams: Sia, Florence + The Machine, The XX, Emeli Sandé and of course, Lana Del Rey. (Also will.i.am, but let’s not talk about it. Also, Beyoncé covering Amy Winehouse. Can you please just not though, Bey?)
Watch as Beyoncé does work in the dance studio, facing off against various Beyoncé’s throughout her 10 year solo career (Keeps Getting Better, if you will), including Crazy In Loveoncé, Naughty Girloncé, Love On Toponcé and “Single Ladies” Sasha Fierce—before busting down the mirrors in a triumphantly ferocious explosion. Like shattered gla-ee-ass…
Something Beyonce this way comes.
After telling bitches to bow down (which led to a whole lot of grumbling and/or general indifference on the Interwebz), King Bey’s about to bey-ring the action with a brand new bey-t.
BOW DOWN, BITCHES.
Beyoncé‘s back—and this time, she’s delivering a royal ass whoopin’ from the throne.