Do you hear that? That distant rumbling? It’s the sound of a thousand Smurfs singing, dancing and smurfing in celebration in Smurf Village — for the time has finally arrived.
Minutes ago, Godney Jeansus, Patron Saint of Smurfs and Sweet Tea, phoned into On Air with Ryan Seacrest to premiere Smurfs 2 lead single, future Best Original Song Oscar contender, and subtle reminder to basics and lessers that the day of reckoning (Blackout 2.0: It Gets Urbaner And More Spearitual (We’re Just Having Lots Of Lunches Right Now)) is nearly upon us: “Ooh La La.”
As we all know, “Ooh La La” already smurfaced on the Internetz in May, and we’ve already conducted a thorough smurfnalysis. But as she kindly told us on Twitter, that was not a demo, not yet the final version. So, what’s different?
When it comes to producing for The Holy Spearit‘s Album 8, tentatively titled Blackout 2.0: It Gets Urbaner and More Spearitual (We’re Just Having Lots of Lunches Right Now), we all know them producers are talking all this stuff about B: Danja is submitting tracks! DJ Replay is submitting tracks! Dev Hynes is submitting tracks! Scoop DeVille is submitting tracks! Sabi is submitting tracks! Amanda Bynes is submitting tracks! I’m submitting tracks!
However, when Ray of Light producer William Orbit started tawking that tawk on the Twitter, everybody hushed and just stopped. (REFERENCE.)
As we already knew, this isn’t the first time Orbit planned to work with Brit Brit. Years ago, he was sent to the writing camp for Femme Fatale — but none of his tracks made the cut. It was a massively upsetting moment. But he’s back on B’s ray-duh now…and she just can’t let him get away.
And so, the Godney did tweet:
HASHTAG MYSTERY.
With B-Girl’s confirmation on Twitter, it looks like Album 8 really, really will be a Spearitual Ray Of Light (but, y’know, also urban.) Praise Kabbalahney’s light!
And, yes: Orbit’s listening to the fans. A lot. He’s been tweeting back and forth with the Godney Army, RTing for Brazil, agreeing that Britney needs songwriting credits, loving on “Unusual You” and speaking in Englishney all the live long day: When @LucyLoveGodney demanded there be no Auto-Tune on Album 8, he replied: “Auto-what? Never heard of it !!!” And when @IfUSeekGodney requested to know if we’re getting “experimentalney, vocalney, deepney and songwritney,” he replied: “All of the above and more if i can have any bearing on the matter. and add herdreamney, herheartney. But nuff said 4 now.”
#Deadney.
But he’s only kept on going: “A ballad, Must be timeless. From the heart. We know a true one when we hear it. #NOFLIMFLAM” he tweeted yesterday. A timeless ballad for Britney — from the maker of Madonna‘s “Frozen”? I can’t. Even. Begin to. (Side note: A song called “No Flim Flam” would also be great.)
“I think I’m ready now.” – Book of Godney, Hymns of The Zone, 6:13
HUSH. JUST. STOP.
The Spearitual updates are piling on uncontrollably (luh-blee, luh-blee) every day, so let’s just go-o-o all the way-y-y.
Over the weekend, the Sensual Seductress/Enchanting Mistress, Miss Britney Spears, revealed a sneak peek at the upcoming Marc Klasfeld-directed video for soon-to-be summertime Smurfs 2 smash, “Ooh La La.”
The legend is looking stunning and totally Adultney, like a Smurfy upgrade to 2000′s Oopsney, and a little bit of 3ney thrown in there too for good measure. And as for the video’s concept? Welp, it involves Queen B smurfing her way to Smurf Village according to BreatheHeavy. I’m assuming there’ll also be some Smurfs smurf-screening their way onto the legend’s bodeh and dancing and smurfing merrily on her head, and we will all bow down in unworthiness and pre-order physical copies in bulk at Walmart.
The Britney news just keeps on keepin’ on till the world ends.
Earlier this morning, William Orbit started stanning out all over Twitter about working on some new cuts for the Holy Spearit with Naughty Boy. Then he did it again this afternoon, this time with “Everything Is Embarrassing” mastermind Dev Hynes. (Um, someone hold (it against) me, please.)
Growing tired of fuckin’ waiting for Larry to get the fireworks working, Britney decided to jump on Twitter and say a thing too.
William Orbit doesn’t really wanna be a tease…but would you favorite his tweets, please?
Last week, we learned that the Ray Of Light mastermind was about to get in the zone, hitting the studio with Queen B and Emeli Sandé hitmaker Naughty Boy to produce tracks for Blackout 2.0: It Gets Urbaner (And Also More Spearitual).
And now, that’s all he seems to be talking about on the Twitter. From earlier today…
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