will.i.cannot‘s album, #willpower, is out today. (Well, not like out out, but “now streaming on YouTube” out, because even his record label knows that nobody’s going to legally shell out their hard-earned coin on that mess.)
If you haven’t already noticed the dryness in your throat, we’ve become some parched-ass Britney stans beggin’ for a taste of new anything—and also to If U Seek Amy. Y’all are thirsty, and so am I. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’d stan out for 15 seconds of raw demo vocals for “My Baby.” We’re begging for something to sip on. (REFERENCE.)
Last night, in the grand tradition of the MTV Movie Awards, we the true lovers of music suffered through about 2-1/2 hours of non-music related award show shenanigans, fat jokes and genitalia gross-out gags aplenty—all to see if anyone could ever possibly surpass the greatness of Lindsay Lohan‘s 2004 MTV Movie Awards performance.
And, for the 9th year in a row, no one did. (Kylie Minogue was in the audience though, so there was that!)
Somewhere, in a land not so far away (Somerset, England, to be exact), there exists a small village named Godney.
We the Devout Believers in Godney have always known Kentwood to be the almighty Holy Grounds for our Spearitual pilgrimages, during which we grab our Strawberry Frappes, hop into our Mercedes and drive down to Louisiana to light vanilla candles, watch Sex & The City on DVD, do the emails, baptize ourselves in the pouring rain, strip tease like a hmmm drippin’ sweat and rid ourselves of Toxic individuals and Womanizers.
But Godney (of the England variety) is now getting attention for all the right reasons: Britney (bitch).
It’s been a busy few weeks/months/life for the legendary Miss Britney Spears.
Last week, the sensual seductress took a quick trip to Vegas with a pocket full of paper and with no ultimatums on her (REFERENCE) to reportedly scout out the location for her rumored-but-true-so-just-tell-us-already-seriously Vegas residency, as well as attending a Shania Twain concert for a hot minute and partying it up at a Cirque du Soleil shindig with…David.
Many years ago, a pop-loving man named Joseph moved with his family to a land far, far away called Club Banger Nation, ruled by a mighty king named Scherzy Baby.
As the years went on, the pop lovers grew more numerous, fruitfully multiplying and stanning for flops, lessors and legends alike: The Rihanna Navy, the BeyHive, the KatyCats, the Little Monsters, the Heartbeats, the Fighters, the LOVE?rs, the Amber Rosebuds, the Kerli Fries, the Alexandra Stans, and the Chosen People, the Followers of Godney–all living together in harmony.