SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP.
According to an exclusive from SBNation, Queen of Quite Literally Everything Madonna is set to perform during the halftime show at Superbowl XLVI on February 5, 2012.
The performance would be timed perfectly with when Madonna recently said she’d be releasing the lead single from her as-of-yet untitled twelfth studio album.
But before y’all start selling your bodies on the street for a nosebleed seat at the arena (as I plan to do), let us not forget that Lady M had been rumored/expected to perform a few times in the past. From SB Nation:
As you’d expect for an artist with her mass appeal, this isn’t the first time Madonna’s been approached about performing at the Super Bowl. In 1998, it was heavily rumored that Madonna would perform at Super Bowl XXXIII in Miami, only to have the plans fall apart before a deal could be reached. Likewise, Madonna was reportedly to headline the halftime show for Super Bowl XXXV, two years later, but backed out at the last minute.
For now, we can only bow our heads and pray to the Almighty Madge for deliverance.
Madonna, ladies and ladyboys: Just one more reason–along with the tight pants and commercials (which will never be as legendary as any of Britney Pepsi commercials)–to watch the Superbowl next year. KICK A FOOT GOAL, BOIZ!!!11!1!
Meet hotly tipped up-and-coming pop icon, Carishma.
Unfamiliar? Well, maybe that’s because you’re LIVING UNDER A FUCKING ROCK.
Or perhaps you’re just not a 12-year-old girl, Carishma’s target demographic, as demonstrated in her latest celebrity endorsement: Snap On Feathers, the hot, sexy, fun way for cool and popular girls to get that freshly-plucked feather look.
FINALLY: No more sneaking into your father’s pistol cabinet while he’s out at work (why does he have so many guns though? THIS IS AMERICA, THAT’S FUCKING WHY), shooting down the robin’s nest tucked away in that tree out back, plucking at the wings of your newly fallen prey and running the bloodied blue feathers through your hair.
Not only does the commercial feature the musical stylings of the 21-year-old chanteuse, but a brief snippet of the singer performing her “breakout hit” on what appears to be a replica of the sound-stage from Nickelodeon’s ’90′s smash TV series All That, featuring some rather slay-worthy choreography in a sparkly one-piece bathing suit that bring a whole new definition to the term “your faves could never.”
As for the song itself, “Glow In The Dark,” which was produced by Darkchild, is a utterly shameless rip-off of Britney‘s Femme Fatale bonus track, “He About To Lose Me” which was–you guessed it–produced by Darkchild. Like, completely: From the opening guitar strum, to the song structure, to–well, everything, it’s literally the same song with a slightly spruced-up chorus and no Brit Brit involved. $UCCE$$!
But just in case you thought Queen Carishmatic was trying to pull a fast one on the general listening audience, think again: She fully acknowledges this fact! Like, often! She just doesn’t seem to give1curr about the whole thing which, if you think about it, is kind of amazing: It’s sort of like if Lady Gaga‘s official response to the “Born This Way” similarities to Madonna‘s “Express Yourself” was “Oh yes, you’re right! What of it?” rather than bursting into tears and reciting a monologue about art and truth and beauty.
In conclusion: Carishma is like Lady Gaga, but better.
Many thanks to Muuser Chris S. for the find!
“Glow In The Dark” was released on September 19. (iTunes)
You finished with the whole Yuyi the Mermaid thing by now? You done? Okay good, me too.
Lady Gaga might still be unleashing her ceaseless series of art-haus mini-clips in support of her latest Top 10 single “You And I,” but she’s already preparing to release a brand new single from the Born This Way era according to GagaDaily (as well as fan interactions with Gaga stylist Nicola Formichetti): “Marry the Night.”
The Fernando Garibay-produced (“Dance In The Dark”) song is one of the better cuts from Gaga’s second LP. Originally released via GagaVille, Lady Gaga’s FarmVille expansion on Facebook, the song was penned as an open love letter to New York City (did you know Lady Gaga grew up there? You didn’t either?! She never talks about it! I KNOW, RIGHT?!) and features an explosive Whitney Houston-esque chorus, pounding synthesizers, church organs and plenty of that leather wearin’, whiskey drankin rock ‘n’ roll lyricism that Gaga loves ever so dearly.
While I myself remain staunchly Team “Heavy Metal Lover” (my favorite from BTW), I can’t be too mad at this selection for Single #5–it’s a fire track, and I’m always up for supporting a Garibay production.
Still no word on a video just yet, but here’s hoping she straps on a full white Galliano wedding dress and starts rampaging down the streets of NYC, jumping on cars, making out with bikers and eventually jumping down into Brit Brit‘s manhole for a brief “Till The World Ends” dance interlude–now that’s a video I could get behind.
Born This Way was released on May 23. (iTunes)
It’s here! It’s real!
The official single mix of “Criminal,” Britney‘s upcoming Femme Fatale single, has just been uploaded to Britney’s VEVO account–and yes, it does differ slightly from the album version!
The changes are pretty subtle–the main beat bangs a little bit harder, more prominent electronica and guitar, and there’s a more urban touch to the overall production with the addition of some hip-hop friendly drum loops. Another notable difference? The backing vocals have been boosted during the final chorus, showing off some previously unheard vocals. Neat!
While I don’t know how much this ever-so-slightly more radio friendly mix will help or hinder the commercial success of “Criminal,” I think it’s just as hot as the original–if not better! Here’s hoping it takes off on Top 40 radio.
In the meantime: Have you bagged yourself a bad boy yet to come stick up a convenience store with you? Well, get ready…the “Criminal” video should be headed our way soon!
2011: YEAR OF THE SPEARS.
“Criminal” will be released to radio on October 11. (iTunes)
Havana Brown is a popular Australian DJ.
When she’s not serving as the opening act for some of MuuMuse’s top pop acts during their Australian leg of their tours–including Rihanna (Good Girl Gone Bad Tour), the Pussycat Dolls (Doll Domination Tour) and the Legendary Miss Brit Brit (The Circus Tour: Starring Britney Spears)–she’s busy mixing tracks for her successful compilation series, Crave.
Earlier this year, the flawless disc jockey released her first-ever single: “We Run The Night,” an off the charts, bomb-dot-com explosion of pulsating synths and gigantic beat breakdowns co-written and produced by Aussie singer Cassie Davis and producer Snob Scrilla. The massive club stormer (and one of the best dance tracks of the year) went on to go double platinum and earn Brown a #5 spot on the ARIA Singles Chart.
Due to her single’s major success overseas, Brown revealed to fans on her Facebook last week that the song was being prepped for stateside release. YAY! So what did the label heads over at Universal Music decide to do before shipping out to precious American ears? Why, hire Gaga hit-maker RedOne to slap on some extra beats and a verse by everyone’s favorite radio perv Pitbull, of course! …OH.
The newly leaked re-rub of the track is a (largely unnecessary) mix ‘n’ match of the original, including a few extra RedOne bouncy beats and a boner-killing restructure that sticks the first beat drop at the very beginning of the song–thus ruining the song’s original build-up. And as for that grating Pitbull verse? About as necessary as a cold sore. (Funnily enough, listening to any Pitbull verse usually results in the development of a cold sore.)
Now don’t get me wrong here: “We Run The Night” is still a supreme club cut, and I’m so excited to hear it blasting out in clubs stateside! This new version crafted for the States is just sort of, err…extraneous and overly commercial. Oh well!
“We Run The Night” will be released on September 27. (iTunes Australia)
It’s Britishney, bitch…NOW PALMS TO THE SKY!
Either Brit Brit‘s got a taste for the life of larceny after 2007′s Lighter-gate, or she’s just begun shooting the video for her upcoming fourth Femme Fatale single, “Criminal”!
The above photos have just surfaced from over in Londontown where the Holy Spearit is currently engaging in a whirlwind promotional tour on dozens of TV programs and radio stations to promote the Femme Fatale Tour overseas, including a pre-tour launch party on Friday night.
Looking like the ravishing Femme Fatale from her tour, Britishney and her real-life beau Jason Trawick were seen running around a store while brandishing a big fat bass pistol. I don’t know, seems like this girl’s up to no good…just be careful where you point that thing, Brit Brit!
AND THIS TYPE OF LOVE ISN’T RATIONAL…
Didn’t see Britney‘s Femme Fatale Tour?
Or maybe you did go, but you were totally in the bathroom practicing your “Hold It Against Me” chair choreography one last time while the show was starting?
Or perhaps like me, you stood with your camera held high attempting to videotape the entire intro video but failed because you were too overcome by all your shaking and crying/getting jostled by glitter-drenched tweens squeezing into their seats at the last minute so instead you just spend your days staying up all night watching fan videos from other concerts on YouTube until 5 A.M. even though you have work in the morning desperately searching for the most high quality version of them all so that you can truly cherish Assassiney in the crispest, clearest quality possible?
THE WAIT IS FINALLY OVER.
Click above to watch the full, glorious untagged and high quality intro video from Britney’s Femme Fatale Tour.
I’M NOT THAT INNOCENT.
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