ARE YOU READY FOR WHAT’S NEXT?

Click above to watch the brand new trailer for Godney‘s upcoming concert special for EPIX: Britney Spears: Femme Fatale Tour, premiering in November.

From the show’s official website:

Sexy. Slammin’. Outrageous. Hurl all the adjectives you want, but one word says it all: Britney. (Ms. Spears if you’re nasty.) The Grammy-winning pop diva storms the stage with a fierce mix of fan-favorite hits and hot new tracks from her latest album, Femme Fatale, in this concert special taped before a sold-out crowd in Toronto. Whether you’re in the market for bodacious dance moves, killer costume changes or that make-you-melt Louisiana drawl, Britney’s bringing ‘em all – bigger and better than ever.

I CAN’T FEEL MY FACE RIGHT NOW.

Th-th-th-this is the remix…

Earlier this evening, The Holy Spearit tweeted a link to her official website to pre-order a brand new remix compilation: B In The Mix: The Remixes Vol. 2.

The tracklisting is as follows:

1. Gimme More (Kaskade Club Mix)
2. Piece Of Me (Tiësto Club Mix)
3. Radar (Tonal Club Remix)
4. Womanizer (Benny Benassi Extended)
5. Circus (Linus Loves Remix)
6. If U Seek Amy (U-Tern Remix)
7. 3 (Manhattan Clique Club Remix)
8. Till The World Ends (Alex Suarez Club Remix)
9. I Wanna Go (Gareth Emery Remix)
10. Criminal (Varsity Team Remix)

Hmm, well…we’ve heard all of these already (aside from the “Criminal” mix.) That’s a bit disappointing! Oh well. It’s got some bangin’ mixes, and it’s still a fun little collector’s item for fans to snag, right?

OH WAIT.

GODNEY STANS OF THE WORLD: CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

First of all, yes: We stans have already heard, like, every single one of these remixes already.

So? We were certainly never promised anything new–unless you’ve been setting yourself up for disappointment on a DAILY BASIS by stalking a certain stan-fueled forum. Would I have liked to see some remixes I haven’t heard? Of course! But it’s just a remix compilation, not a new studio album…I don’t actually care that much.

Secondly, yes: The cover does indeed look like something Sean Preston and Jayden James crafted after logging onto Mommy’s computer while she was out on a Frappe run, double clicking on the “Outtakes That Look Like I’m Taking A Dump” folder, dragging a photo into Photoshop and then banging away at the keyboard until pretty colors splattered across the screen, but um…are you actually surprised?

Remember the FIRST B In The Mix: The Remixes album cover? Remember when Blackout happened? Remember how this and this and this and this and this are all better pictures than the one selected as the cover of Femme Fatale?

So I guess my point is this…

At the end of the day, this is a fun, spontaneous new addition to Brit Brit’s ever-growing discography that includes some truly excellent remixes (yes, that some of us have already heard, although not everyone owns every single in physical form arranged in chronological order in their bedroom…err, *whistles*) spanning from Blackout to Femme Fatale.

Do I wish there were new remixes? Yes, that would’ve been nice. But guess what? It’s still Britney (bitch), and no one’s forcing you to buy this collection. So just breathe…

2011: YEAR OF THE SPEARS.

Glamour Magazine, courtesy of The Mirror.

Could it be?

In November of 2005, Britney Spears released B In The Mix: The Remixes, an 11-track album that included remixes of songs spanning her entire career to date, along with the previously unreleased track, “And Then We Kiss (Junkie XL Remix)”–a track that immediately became (arguably) my favorite song she’s ever done.

The track was co-penned by Spears and songwriters Paul Barry and Mark Taylor, both of whom are responsible for Cher‘s “Believe” and Enrique Iglesias‘ “Hero” and “Bailamos” (among other massive worldwide smashes).

Although some assumed earlier on that the Junkie XL mix was actually just the original version of the song, further evidence–including the original’s brief listing on the soundtrack for Britney’s mini-documentary TV series Britney & Kevin: Chaotic (which was later removed from the final tracklisting) and an interview with Junkie XL for About.com–confirms that an original version exists.

From the interview:

RS: When I hear Junkie XL I think of progressive dance productions and remixes. So when I heard that you remixed Britney Spears, that was such a surprise. When they approached you for the remix, what was in your head?

Junkie XL: What I wanted to do was turn it into a 2006 version of Enjoy the Silence with really electronic chunky beats and nice melodic guitar lines. Besides the fact that she’s singing on it, it could be a track off my album because it’s the same vibe. I’m really happy with the end result and so are they.

Fast forward to September 1, 2011, when a track mysteriously surfaces online: “And Then We Kiss (Original Version).”

But is it real?

The production of this new (well, technically old) mix is utterly incredible: Along with its gorgeously sensual, Ray Of Light-esque electronica undercurrent and flamenco-tinged guitar, the lead vocals on this new mix are much more prominent in certain parts of the song than we’ve ever heard before. There even seem to be some new background vocals (2:24) thrown in the mix, as well as a haunting new stretched-out vocal finish in the last 30 seconds.

Since an acapella version of the song has never actually leaked (yet), it’d be an incredibly impressive feat if this wound up being a fake: Either this is the work of an impossibly good producer-to-be (unlikely) or we’ve just–at long last–stumbled upon the long lost original version of “And Then We Kiss.”

Absolutely incredible.

UPDATE (Sept. 5): The answer has arrived! I got in touch with “And Then We Kiss” songwriter Mark Taylor over the weekend about the original version of the song, who Excluusively confirmed to MuuMuse that this newly leaked mix is in fact the real deal:

Dear Brad,
I confirm the version on your website is my original production and mix from the same sessions as Breathe On Me. And I’m glad you like it and that it still feels fresh after so long! I am pleased it might finally see the light of day! Keep up the good work! Best, Mark Taylor

AMAZING!

“And Then We Kiss (Junkie XL Remix)” was released in 2005. (iTunes)

STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND BEHOLD THE SPEARIT.

Godney will be gracing the October 2011 issue of Glamour Magazine in the UK, and Metro’s provided a first glimpse at the cover, the inside photoshoot and a small teaser of the accompanying story.

Prettyney! (And looking a bit Katie Holmesney, no?)

Inside the magazine, there’s some talk of the Royal Wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton (“I heard it was beautiful”), inviting them to her concert (“That would be amazing. That would be really crazy and cool”) as well as Brit Brit’s upcoming 30th birthday plans.

From the Metro article:

Meanwhile, Brit says she’s planning one last hurrah to cap her turbulent decade when she turns 30 in December.

The Womanizer star said: ‘I think the older you get, the wiser you get. I can’t wait. I’m really excited and definitely gonna celebrate and do something spectacular. I’m gonna be in South America so I’ll have to do something pretty fun. A carnival of Britney?’

A CARNIVAL OF BRITNEY?!

That would be so mayjah: You could play Whack-A-Paparazzo and win bags of Cheetos. Or go on the guided “I’m A Slave 4 U”-themed safari ride and try and avoid falling snakes. Or get lost in the underground “Till The World Ends” sewer maze with your friends until you find the manhole! I-I-I WANNA GO-O-O!!!

Guess that means I know where I’ll be heading for winter vacation…

EDIT: New photo, courtesy of The Sun.

OH MY BRITNEY JEANSUS: It’s like a darker, more mature upgrade from the Greatest Hits: My Prerogative cover.
I am most thoroughly slayed beyond belief!

2011: YEAR OF THE SPEARS.

OH MAH GODNEY!

It doesn’t get any more official than this: Britney herself just confirmed to MTV’s James Montgomery backstage at the 2011 VMA’s that “Criminal” will be the fourth single off of Femme Fatale!

MTV: Any plans for another video, another single?
Britney: Yes, mm-hmm.
MTV: And what will that be?”
B: I don’t know if I’m at liberty to tell…but, um, I will anyway! It’s ‘Criminal.’
MTV: Can you talk about what that song means to you?
B: The song is, you know–when I first heard it, it’s really different and there’s nothing I’ve heard like this before. I really wanted to deliver this song, and I was thinking of a really cool concept for the video just to make it interesting.
MTV: So, do you have the cool concept ready to go?
B: Yes, you’ll have to see.

I guess Team Spears really did listen to fans, because “Criminal” was the resounding winner from Britney’s Facebook fan poll!

While I would have loved to see this song come out at the very end of the campaign (please don’t let this be the end!), I’m still absolutely thrilled about the selection. “Criminal” is one of my favorite moments from Femme Fatale–it’s an absolutely gorgeous moment that showcases a slightly more mature side of the Holy Spearit. While it may not sound like anything on the radio right now, I’m still so excited to see it get a proper release!

I just can’t even begin to process the idea of a video for “Criminal”: All that I ask is that it involves Godney dressed as a fanciful maiden while riding a majestic steed. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!

2011: YEAR OF THE SPEARS.

Femme Fatale was released on March 29. (iTunes)

And now: The 2011 MTV VMA’s Tribute to Britney Spears.

As with anything Spears-related, there was a whole lot of hype beforehand: Would Godney take to the VMA stage once again in a moment of redemption with a triumphant, show-stopping performance of “Hold It Against Me”? Would the stage be crawling with A-list pop stars paying tribute to Britney, including some weird, stupid Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus 3-way action as promulgated by the overly horny rumor mongers of BreatheHeavy’s stan-o-torium, Exhale? No, no…there was none of that whatsoever.

After an awkwardly long introductory speech by Lady Gaga–I’m sorry, I mean Jo Calderone (which was more or less just a speech about Britney’s influence on, well, Lady Gaga), a tiny fleet of little ladies ran out to deliver their, err…homage: A dance!

In what must have been…oh I don’t know, approximately 45 seconds, the little girls served us their best Baby’s First Hip-Hop Recital moves against a turbo speed mega-mix of the teensiest sliver of Britney’s musical output over the past 13 years. It was pretty cute, aside from the unforgivable ‘sexy’ gyrations that would have Pedobear grinning from ear to ear.

But don’t worry: There’s more! Out trudged Gaga once again–sorry, Jo Calderone, ugh–to present the award to a beaming-but-clearly-nervous Britney.

I’m sorry, did I say present? I meant deliver the world’s most indulgent, annoying character piece (that mercifully carried on throughout the entire night!) while sneering, laying on gross flirty lines and giving Britney those incredibly rape-y bedroom eyes. Soon enough, the two awkwardly stood eye-to-eye, just about to kiss. But from somewhere deep within, Britney looked to the light and saw Jesus: She pulled away and rejected the Gaga, exclaiming: “No, I’ve done that already!”

Ha HA! So funny! Love you, Brit Brit! And then she took to the microphone and started…introducing Beyonce! Because apparently introducing Beyonce to the stage is the new acceptance speech! And then she…um, kept praising Beyonce! And then Gaga started talking about…Beyonce! And then everyone just sort of looked around…and then Beyonce took to the stage! And that was it.

Wait…WHAT?!

Now look: I’m not shading the little ladies that danced. Good job, girls! Good job. But as for the rest of this hot mess express: REALLY?! Of the entire “tribute,” 60% of the time was dedicated to Gaga’s showy performance as Jo Calderone, 35% an introduction to Beyonce’s upcoming performance, and 5% actual dedication to The Holy Spearit.

Simply put, there was no actual tribute to Britney during the MTV Tribute to Britney Spears. Sure, there were some little ones dancing to her videos, but that’s nothing I don’t already serve up on a nightly basis alone in my room in my underwear. A 30 second video message beamed in from Madonna or Janet Jackson would have been a hundred times more legendary, or even 10 seconds of Britney saying something about her decade-long career other than a humble “Thank you” and shout-out to Michael Jackson in between Gaga’s awful rambling. ANYTHING!

As a lifelong fan of Spears, the tribute was nothing short of an insult.

Later in the night, we would watch as Katy Perry accepted the award for “Firework” as the Best Video of the Year while wearing a giant yellow block on her head, thus–as I tweeted earlier–skillfully placing a giant fail-sized cheese cherry on top of this truly incredible shit sundae.

As Britney once said in For The Record: I’m sad.

Britney wore a panda hat on tour last night in Charlotte.

A PANDA HAT.

A MOTHERFUCKING PANDA HAT.

A spokesman from local millenary ‘Panda Hats ‘R’ Us’ tells MuuMuse exclusively: “OH SHIT. NOW WE GOTTA MAKE MORE HATS.”

KAWAIINEY!!!!!!

Your favorites could literally never flawlessly rock such a flawless, iconic hat because they could not.

Thank you for your time.

And now, the most important thing you’ll read today.

PopJustice‘s Peter Robinson, friend to MuuMuse, conducted an interview with Britney at the beginning of August. Today, the interview went live.

And guess what? It’s the most introspective, thoughtful interview of the entire Femme Fatale era.

While I won’t spoil the entire thing, here are just a few choice quotes:

Great. What most drives you to be brilliant – fear of failure or thirst for success?
Thirst for success. I constantly want to outdo the last thing I’ve done.

How do you define success now? Is it album sales or ticket sales, or whether you personally like something?
Just by feeling accomplished in what I’ve done, you know? In the art that we’ve done. At this point in my career I am making the music that I enjoy and the music I know my fans will love.

And how much of the real you do you think we know? None, everything, half? 45%?
I would say half. I can be pretty guarded with my personal life and I’ve learned that’s okay.

That’s quite a lot to know.
Uh-huh.

But it’s also quite a lot not to know.
Yes! Sometimes it’s our secrets that define us.

Do you lead or follow?
I definitely lead.

Is it hard work doing all that leading? It must be a lot easier to just sit around copying people.
No, it’s not hard work, it’s part of who I am. I love to strive to do things differently. That’s part of why I love what I do – being in this industry because you can, you know, do so many different things, and that makes you who you are.

What do you look back on and go, ‘well that was a bit rubbish’?
Um… (Miniature pause) Well I think that everything happens for a reason so I don’t really think anything… Well, I think you learn from everything that happens, good or bad. But you’re talking about songs?

Songs, anything really. I just think it’s really helpful if you want to get a sense of what an artist thinks about themselves, if you know how they actually rank their own work.
Making music is a creative process. I don’t think you can rank that process.

There’s a question I’ve got written down here, which I’ll explain properly once you’ve supplied me with an answer, and the question is: if you were locked in a room with only a saucepan, what would you do?
I’d knock on the door with it.

This interview literally encapsulates every reason why she is my ultimate inspiration: Confidence, devotion to her artistry, determination, and of course, a little slice of silly on the side.

And for once, she’s actually speaking about things that go beyond her tour workout regimen and how much she enjoys watching Sex & The City.

READ IT NOW.

Thank you for a most insightful read, Peter!