Grab your spectacles ladies, because we’re about to read.

Above is a promotional clip for legendary dance group Cascada‘s upcoming album/greatest hits collection (?), entitled–wait for it…

LOLOLOLOL.

Along with an album’s worth of new, “original” material (including recent smash, “Pyromania”), Original Me comes bundled with such Cascada classics as:

+ “San Francisco” (known legally as Katy Perry‘s “California Gurls”)
+ “Truly Madly Deeply” (A Savage Garden cover, made to sound like Cascada’s “Everytime We Touch”)
+ “What Hurts The Most” (a Rascal Flatts cover made to sound like Cascada’s “Everytime We Touch”)
+ “Because The Night” (a Patti Smith cover made to sound like Cascada’s “Everytime We Touch”)
+ “Bad Boy” (“Everytime We Touch”)
+ “What Do You Want From Me?” (“Everytime We Touch”)
+ And of course, “Everytime We Touch.”

But while we’re on the subject, I have to ask: What’s everyone’s favorite Cascada song? I would have to say mine is “Everytime We Touch.”

I CAN’T.

Original Me will be released on June 21. (iTunes UK)

Are y’all aware of Inna?

Perhaps you’ve seen the name before. She’s the Romanian dance-pop sensation responsible for some major international club smashes, including “Hot” and “Amazing.”

After sweeping in multiple categories at the 2010 MTV Romania Music Awards (including the much coveted “Best Website Award”–snatch it, Inna!), the singer unleashed her latest single, “10 Minutes” in the US in November and France in December, with plans to release the song under 3 Beat Records in the UK later this month.

Yesterday, AATW Records released the UK Video Edit of “10 Minutes” which–as you might be able to tell–features a lot of sexy low-cut tops and not a whole lot else.

“10 Minutes” isn’t entirely different from every Cascada production ever (and the “oh, oh!” moments remind of Sirens‘ “Stilletos”), but it’s still a fun little club sizzler in its own right. “I’m gonna break even da law of da gravity to see you in da morning,” Inna adorably croons, her Romanian accent still heavily intact.

A few days ago, 3 Beat uploaded the entire remix EP onto SoundCloud featuring eleven different remixes of “10 Minutes,” including mixes by Hi Def, Liam Keegan and the song’s producers, Play & Win.

I’m feeling the Play & Win Club Mix at the moment, which features some “We No Speako Americano” horn sections. Check ‘em all out above!

“10 Minutes” was released on November 2 in the US. (iTunes)

Meet Cara Quici. (No, really–look! It says “Cara” right on her arm there! You know, in case you didn’t believe me or something.)

Tonight, as I was driving to a haircut on three hours of sleep and a whole lot of adrenaline following my major Britney story scoop in the wee hours of the morning (WHAT? A BLOGGER BOY’S ALLOWED TO BRAG YOU KNOW), I turned on the radio to find sounds that greatly pleased me coming from KTU 103.5.

The beat was a-rockin’, the electro a-grindin’ and the melody a-pleasin’: “Does your love burn hot and your skin turn cold every time I’m away from you?” a mystery chanteuse cried out atop the trance beats of the chorus. Sure, this wasn’t a mind-blowing vocal performance or anything, but the track was bumpin’–perfect for hitting the club. Think September, think Cascada, and everything in between.

But then it happened: The song’s almighty beat drop following the chorus that really tugged at my gay, gay heart strings and sold me. OH, THAT FILTHY, GRITTY ELECTRONICA! Gimme, gimme moah, as a certain legend might say.

Quickly whipping out my phone to ID the track (while running over several elderly pedestrians in the process), the track was identified at last: Cara Quici – “Away From You (Jump Smokers Remix).” (LISTEN)

“Hmm,” I said to myself while staring at the tiny phone screen and continuing to plow through innocent civilians, “I don’t think I know a Cara Quici.”

Luckily, I’m back at home now. And thanks to the interwebz, I totally know who Cara Quici is now.

HERE’S THE HOT GOSSIP:

+ Cara Quici is from Texas.
+ She enjoys making melodious sounds with her mouth.
+ She was once a competition cheerleader.
+ She is currently working on her debut album, due out in 2011.
+ “Away From You” is the debut single from said album, produced by Max Gousse, Senior VP of Def Jam Universal.
+ “Away From You” is good, but the Jump Smokers remix of the song is EVEN. BETTER.

Here’s a bit of what it sounds like, featuring those deliciously naughty post-chorus beats:

UMPH. To learn more, check out Cara Quici’s official website.

And that is literally everything you ever needed to know. Ever.

“Away From You” was released on November 9. (iTunes)

Photo courtesy of Lady-Gaga.net.

Dear Lady Gaga,

HAY GURL! Just heard your new track, “Alejandro.” Nice one! Yeah!

The thing is, you really have to stop the RedOne madness.

We all know that you’re super talented, but let’s not get too proud: Putting out the same song now for the fourth or fifth time in a row? “Just Dance” is to “Poker Face” is to “Money Honey” is to “Bad Romance,” and now of course, is to “Alejandro.”

The public is eventually going to catch on to the fact that you’ve been churning out the same song for over a year! Actually, I can’t be entirely sure of that (Lord knows, Cascada is still going strong in this market), but come on: The repeat-heavy chorus, the “muh-muh-muh” variants, the overused electro-sting noise…you’re making your own music sound dated before it’s even been released.

Oh, and for the record, this sounds just like Ace of Base‘s sublime pop track, “Don’t Turn Around.” I liked it better the first time it came out.

Anyway, I have to go get ready to go out now. Can’t wait to hear the non-RedOne prouced songs off of The Fame Monster, especially “Telephone”!

Please give Rainer Marie Rilke and David LaChapelle my love, and let me know when you’re laying down your new single off of The Fame Monster 2.0, “Just Dance on My Bad Poker Face, Honey.”

Your on-again, off-again fan,
xoxo
b

Cascada, to me, are the industry’s boldest and brightest display of raw, sheer talent to have ever debuted. Ever.

I challenge you–nay, defy you to find any band in recent pop music history who have successfully managed to reproduce their original hit single time and time again…and still somehow manage to find success. LITERALLY, IT’S THE SAME SONG EACH TIME–AND THEY STILL CHART IN MANY COUNTRIES!

If that’s not impressive, what is?

And now, please enjoy “Miracle.” I mean “Everytime We Touch.” Wait–I’m sorry, which one was this again? Oh! Oh right…”Dangerous,” the “new” single from powerhouse Eurodance troupe, Cascada.

Anticipation can be a terrible thing.

After the BBC, various ‘zines, and blogs proclaimed rising space-pop starlet Little Boots as The One To Watch for 2009 way back in December (guilty as charged!), the hype cloud hovering over poor Boots was muddying up her debut with impossible expectations long before its release.

First was the announcement of “New In Town” as the first single–a simple ditty with a predictable verse-chorus pop confection nowhere near the trance throbs of breakout track, “Stuck On Repeat,” causing some fans to cry “too commercial” from the start. Following that was a larger offense–the video; a misguided attempt at keeping it “cool,” featuring a deer-in-the-headlights Boots wandering in between break-dancing homeless citizens and horned-up teens performing fellatio in rhythm. It was unearthly–and not in the Little Boots kind of way.

But looking past the hyper-criticism of the campaign, Boots continued on her own path to debut. On June 8, the space cadet will have finally, officially landed in the UK. And her offering to the public? Why, her Hands, of course!

It’s funny, but reviewing this album felt a lot like working with last year’s The Fame–this however being a less pretentious, far superior rendition of Gaga’s own. Ushering in the album with her lead single “New In Town,” Boots hits hard at the offset of Hands: The strong, summer pulsations of “Earthquake” blend seamlessly with the surprisingly acceptable three-minute cut of “Stuck On Repeat.” (Even still, the 7-minute original may well go down as the unappreciated “I Feel Love” for the 21st century.) Further on, the sexy minimal pulsations of “Click” prepare the way for the hands-in-the-air scorcher “Remedy,” perhaps akin to comparison to Gaga’s own celebration, “Just Dance”: “No more poison killing my emotion / I will not be frozen / Dancing is my remedy, remedy.”

However, much like Gaga’s triple dunk of samey production (“Just Dance” is to “Poker Face” as is to “Money Honey”), Boots also seems to be digging through her musical recycling bin from time to time (“Meddle” sounds a lot like “Mathematics,” as does the slower counterpart, “Ghost”). It’s not as obvious as the aforementioned trio, but the songs do seem to blur into one large pop confection about two-thirds of the way into the album.

The last third diverges in a brilliant fashion, offering three soft spoken mid-tempos, including the sugary-sweet ’80′s drop of color, “Tune Into My Heart,” and the acoustic title track, “Hands.” The stripped down piano pop finish sounds a lot like the singer’s weekly homemade YouTube song covers, proving Boots is more than just an intergalactic dancefloor sweetheart.

Though each song is superior in its own right, standouts include (obviously) “Stuck On Repeat,” the mysteriously jazzy “Hearts Collide,” and the chilly duet with The Human League’s Phil Oakley on “Symmetry” : “Love me in perfect symmetry, be my everything. If you just love me in perfect symmetry, only you can make me feel complete,” the two croon on the Kylie-esque joyride through futuristic electro lines and spacey synths. (Speaking of which, does anyone else see this as the perfect companion piece for Minogue’s X album?)

So in the end, what are we left with? Hands is an accessible, immediate, and instantly re-playable body of work combining modern bass lines, smart lyrics, and space-age zings, zaps, and plops. Does it hold against the hype surrounding it? Not really. There’s nothing groundbreaking or revolutionary hidden here–just a solid, unwavering collection of pop. Don’t get me wrong, however: A pop album with all killer, no filler is very difficult to properly create, and for that, Boots deserves all the credit in the world. Had she debuted with little to no fanfare behind her, this might have well been heralded as the Second Coming of Pop.

For fans who have been following since the beginning of Boots’ journey, some may be feeling a bit cheated by the album’s commercial vibe and lack of unheard material, but fear not–I think she’s got plenty more gems stored away in her spaceship for us in the not-so-distant future.

Rating:

You can either click here to purchase the physical album, or, if you’re from the UK, click below to preview & purchase Little Boots’ Hands now.

Cascada‘s new single is called “Evacuate the Dancefloor.”

Let me just be the first one to say–this is hands down the best “Just Dance” cover I’ve ever heard. SPOT. ON.

Major ROFLCOPTERS for the rapper breakdown scene at 2:15 into the video where the cinematography is quite literally the same as in GAGa‘s video.

There’s so much wrong going on here. I mean…evacuate the dancefloor? You’re suggesting that we actually step off of the floor? Isn’t that a bit counterproductive?

I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll just end it: “Stop, this beat is killing me.”

Done and done.

(Let’s face it, we have to do something to pass the time until the debut of Sophie Ellis-Bextor‘s video for “Heartbreak Make Me A Dancer.”)

Cheryl Cole
Probable Title: My Tyme
Sounds like: Victoria Beckham‘s original solo album; Top 40 “urban” pop
Actual Listenability: 6/10
Public Success: 7/10

Nicola Roberts
Probable Title: Teardrops
Sounds like: Astonishing, breathy quirk-pop; Lykke Li meets Bats For Lashes
Actual Listenability: 10/10
Public Success: 5/10

Sarah Harding
Probable Title: Take It 2 The Top
Sounds like: Cascada; Hi-NRG covers of Girls Aloud favorites
Actual Listenability: 4/10
Public Success: 6/10

Nadine Coyle
Probable Title: Nadine Coyle
Sounds like: Geri Halliwell‘s first solo album; crunchy pop confections, dance tracks, and torch songs.
Actual Listenability: 9/10
Public Success: 8/10

Kimberley Walsh
Probable Title: Wishing and Wishing
Sounds like: Kimberley Locke‘s musical career; covers of musicals and tired jazz standards
Actual Listenabiliy: 6/10
Public Success: 3/10

That sounds about right.

Getting a bit too noisy, don’t you think? I’m starting to worry that the Aloud have been drudging around in Cascada‘s backyard for some time now, especially considering the Radio Edit of “Untouchable.” Reel it in, Xenomania!