will.i.cannot‘s album, #willpower, is out today. (Well, not like out out, but “now streaming on YouTube” out, because even his record label knows that nobody’s going to legally shell out their hard-earned coin on that mess.)
If you haven’t already noticed the dryness in your throat, we’ve become some parched-ass Britney stans beggin’ for a taste of new anything—and also to If U Seek Amy. Y’all are thirsty, and so am I. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’d stan out for 15 seconds of raw demo vocals for “My Baby.” We’re begging for something to sip on. (REFERENCE.)
Somewhere, in a land not so far away (Somerset, England, to be exact), there exists a small village named Godney.
We the Devout Believers in Godney have always known Kentwood to be the almighty Holy Grounds for our Spearitual pilgrimages, during which we grab our Strawberry Frappes, hop into our Mercedes and drive down to Louisiana to light vanilla candles, watch Sex & The City on DVD, do the emails, baptize ourselves in the pouring rain, strip tease like a hmmm drippin’ sweat and rid ourselves of Toxic individuals and Womanizers.
But Godney (of the England variety) is now getting attention for all the right reasons: Britney (bitch).
It’s been a busy few weeks/months/life for the legendary Miss Britney Spears.
Last week, the sensual seductress took a quick trip to Vegas with a pocket full of paper and with no ultimatums on her (REFERENCE) to reportedly scout out the location for her rumored-but-true-so-just-tell-us-already-seriously Vegas residency, as well as attending a Shania Twain concert for a hot minute and partying it up at a Cirque du Soleil shindig with…David.
While everyone else’s faves remained irrelevant and basic this weekend, Our Holy Lady of Soda Pop was busy being significant and cultured.
On Saturday, while taking a break from recording her soon-to-be game-changing new record (tentatively titled Blackout 2.0), the Holy Spearit drove to Target in Westlake, California with bodyguard Edan and her blessed bbs Sean Preston and Jayden James for some casual shopping. (Outrageous–her shopping spree!)
On the way back home from the excursion — perhaps inspired by flicking through her BFF Madonna‘s art-filled Instagram — Queen B decided to stop and bless a curbside art sale, where she carefully glanced through various paintings. “Nothing about you is typical,” Godney reportedly whispered to the quivering artist, who immediately bowed down and sang the hymns of Circus as the Spearit browsed her wares.
And lo, a painting made its way onto Godney’s radar (on her ray-duh), and it was thus acquired and loaded into the SUV.
According to the Daily Mail, the painting is “a generic French street scene” that “appeared to have been copied from a postcard from Paris,” but MuuMuse’s official photo team was able to get a closer look at the paintings in question.
LIVING LEGEND: YOU CAN LOOK, BUT DON’T TOUCH.
LITERALLY STOP YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AND SAY AUTUMN GOODBYE TO ALL OF YOUR FAVES.
Tonight, following the annual Academy Awards circle jerk, The Holy Spearit made an appearance at the 21st Annual AIDS Foundation Academy Awards party, rubbing elbows with A-listers, basics and lessers alike.
And guess what? She’s a brunette again.