Hey–hey you! You’re at your computer right now and that is totally not sexy. You should be out making poor decisions with your girls/boys–like dropping ice down your cleavage and asking the neighborhood drunkard to lick it out! Luckily I’ve produced a mini-mini-soundtrack for that, so start slathering on the sunscreen all sexily, because it’s time to countdown the Top 4 sexiest summer sizzlers! Sss…

4. Booty Luv – Say It

Okay, so this is the only song that doesn’t directly include the word “sexy.” Big deal! Booty Luv isn’t just a two-piece dance troupe–it’s a way of life (like Kabbalah, Scientology, and joining the Tila Army.) Though the exact wording of the chorus faces fervent debate (“If you want my butt-body, come get it, get it” seems to be the most widely accepted translation), the reaction is generally the same: This song makes me feel ridiculously sexy in my pants.

3. Sugababes – Get Sexy

If you’ve ever been shopping with your lady friends at the mall and a random stranger has yelled “Hey, sexy!” at you, you might have just been sexually assaulted. But more than that–you’ve officially been deemed as sexy, and that’s all that matters! So why not tack on a theme song with your new found lusciousness? Featuring the word “sexy” no less than twenty five times, one spin of “Get Sexy” will have you grossly misrepresenting your own physical attractiveness in no time. Jump on this, you sexy, sexy slut.

2. Madonna – Celebration
Are you there Jesus? It’s me, Madonna! What’s a sexy list without Madonna, am I right? It’s a “Celebration” up in this bitch, and the world’s reigning Queen of Pop wants you to get up and dance. Drunk, sober, whatever…this is a judgment-free zone (and you’re just going to get naked anyway.) Taking a turn as the sultry seductress (different than her usual role), Madge tempts you with her breathy come-ons (“I guess I just didn’t recognize you with your clothes on”). If the nausea doesn’t get you first, the sexy will!

1. David Guetta ft. Akon – Sexy Bitch

“I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful,” Akon woefully croons before launching into one of the most monstrous choruses of ’09. If “Get Sexy” didn’t make it socially acceptable to spin a person around, slap them on the ass, and call them a “sexy bitch,” this track surely will. “She’s nothing like a girl you’ve ever seen before / Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood whore.” Last I heard, “Sexy Bitch” has been entered in the running for the Poetry Society of America’s 2009 Cecil Hemley Memorial Award for its self-searching lyrical quality and general “willingness to go there.” Godspeed, Akon.

And here we have the official video for “When Love Takes Over,” the song I’ve declared to be the official Summer ’09 Anthem since the end of March.

As you can see, the video (much like the song) delivers, using lots of bright colors and gorgeous, sun-shining visuals to create that essential Ibiza-esque sensation. Not that this clip had to be so involved–in fact, it was a pleasant surprise to see that there was a video to begin with!

My only criticism would be not enough screen time for that ridiculously fierce dress on K. Rowland.

Yeah-ee-yeah.

Thanks to Muuser RJ for alerting me pronto!

Click below to preview and purchase “When Love Takes Over.”

Put down the baby. He’ll learn to crawl on his own. WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT RIGHT NOW.

Why? BECAUSE IT’S FINALLY HERE!

The track that for all intents and purposes deserves to set the clubs on fire this summer, David Guetta’s “When Love Takes Over” (featuring Kelly Rowland) has finally been released!

Thanks to the help of Ms. Rowland’s soaring scales and a piano riff that acts like one hell of an earworm (and may or may not sound similar to a certain Coldplay track), the song lifts far beyond the realm of your typical unts-unts throbber.

And with that set of chops, Rowland proves she’s just as much a female version of a hustla as any other chick out there in the game right now (no names). And as for Guetta, those dives into the grinding synths after the choruses echo out into infinity? Unreal.

The release also features mixes by the likes of Laidback Luke and Albin Myers, so look out for those as well!

Now get to dancing.

DL: David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland – When Love Takes Over (Extended Mix)

Click below to hear more from David Guetta NOW!

Here we have Kelly Rowland and David Guetta, live at the Ultra Music Festival in Miami on Friday, performing could be (and very well should be) the definitive club anthem of the summer, “When Love Takes Over.”

HOW MASSIVE IS THAT BEAT AFTER THE CHORUS GIVES OUT?!

Major props to Kelly for bringing the house down with that performance–I hereby proclaim this to be her white gloved slap-slap to the face of Miss Sasha Fierce.

Your move, Miss Diva…your move.

I’ve got a good feeling about this one.

Kelly Rowland has laid vocals with increasingly popular club killer David Guetta to produce what could be one of the biggest anthems of 2009.

“Love Takes Over,” which premiered in Ibiza many weeks ago, sounds sort of like a classic disco diva covering U2‘s “Beautiful Day,” with a bit more bass for good measure.

Here now, enjoy this somewhat nauseating fan video of the track’s first play in public!

Summer smash? Probably not–it’s too good for radio.

A dancefloor scorcher? Damn straight, sugar. WORK!

Click above to hear more from Kelly Rowland.