If you’re looking for Sasha Fierce, don’t bother: She’s gone.

Well, not entirely–she’s certainly still there twerking her hips above the militant beat of “Run The World (Girls)” and the frenzied horn-filled club bounce of “Countdown,” but for the most part, the divalicious alter ego of one of the world’s greatest entertainers has (temporarily?) stepped a stiletto to the side for the majority of her fourth studio album, 4–allowing the record to remain a decidedly Beyoncé experience.

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Of all the pop releases in the works this year, Kelly Rowland‘s third album may quite possibly the messiest yet.

Rowland’s third studio album first began to take shape after the smashing global success of “When Love Takes Over,” her 2009 collaboration with David Guetta–a hit that largely cemented Guetta’s dance floor reign over the next two years.

To further capitalize on that winning Euro-pop sound, Rowland returned with an equally infectious follow-up last May: “Commander,” an explosive, almighty club anthem that dominated dance charts all across the world, snagging the #1 spot on the US Billboard Hot Dance/Club Play charts.

Soon thereafter however, the former Destiny’s Child chanteuse began to take a tumble. Her label opted to forgo the winning formula–despite the successes born from Rowland’s new-found dance floor diva status–and instead continue the campaign with two ‘urban’-inspired missteps. It was a move that might have made sense in 2002, but in today’s music market? A severely missed opportunity.

In late June of 2010, Rowland released the Dr. Luke-produced, Ester Dean-penned “Rose Colored Glasses,” a stomping R&B mid-tempo that tapped out at #39 on the US Top 40 Airplay Chart.

The single was followed up by “Grown Woman” in July, the Stargate self-empowerment anthem that literally nobody ended up hearing–stalling at an impressively abysmal #51 on the U.S. Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs Chart.

Two months later, Rowland returned to the dance-pop sound that ushered in her initial success with “Forever And A Day,” a storming, David Guetta/Jonas Jeberg production released in Europe in September. But poor promotion–coupled with the fact that the song just isn’t as strong as her previous Guetta concoctions–led to a mediocre peak at #49 on the UK Singles Chart.

After all this, it seems as though the label have now simply stopped trying altogether.

The project as it now stands is a complete and utter mess, as evidenced by the album’s convoluted Wikipedia page–an impossibly long laundry list of producers and collaborators (Tricky Stewart, Bangladesh, Gucci Mane, Ne-Yo, Jermaine Dupri, etc.), a half dozen “planned singles,” and release date push-backs galore–and not to forget, they’re still wavering on the album title.

Although the album is now apparently slated to be released on April 11 in the UK (only two months away), the release seems highly unlikely.

To her credit, Rowland recently updated her website last week to address the silence surrounding the record:

I just wanna first start off by telling you all thank you SO much for being incredibly patient in waiting for the album. The making of this album has been an emotional roller coaster but empowering for me, which you will hear once it’s all done. I’m just taking my time to make sure it’s everything I want it to be. Just an FYI, it is shaping up beautifully!

Still, new leaks from the third album’s recording sessions have already begun to surface. Case in point: “Just Whisper,” a brand new track that leaked in full yesterday.

The song, which was written by Claude Kelly and produced by Swedish up-and-coming sensation Fredro (Shontelle, Jessica Mauboy), is a gorgeous mid-tempo that floats along above a calm guitar strum that completely recalls Sixpence None The Richer‘s late ’90′s hit, “Kiss Me.”

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, “Just Whisper” is Rowland’s most romantic moment yet within this album’s campaign. “You’re already more beautiful than anything I’ve heard, so just whisper the words,” Rowland croons. The message is quite sweet, even if it’s nothing altogether new: You don’t need to prove anything–just do you.

It’s now become even more difficult to place exactly what this new album’s going to sound like with this new leak. As a result, there’s only one thing for certain: The label better get their priorities straight, because this woman has way too much to offer to allow this campaign to simply slip away.

There were five things that immediately drew me to HerStory:

1.) Their name, which is ridiculous.
2.) The following line from the press release: “From the Supremes to Destiny’s Child, the R&B girl group has solidified its place in music. It’s time to welcome the future.”
3.) The fact that one of them (Miriah) is wearing a Grace Jones tee in their promo pictures.
4.) Their brief-but-amazing cover of Alicia Keys‘ “Un-Thinkable (I’m Ready).”
5.) A promising first single.

And now, a proper introduction. CUE THE PRESS RELEASE:

Meet the girls of HerStory: Marissa, Miriah and Asia – three young women from Los Angeles with a story to tell, and the voices to carry out their tale.

In 2008 their paths merged when Marissa, 19, Miriah, 18, and Asia, 19, met during a private audition in Los Angeles. Though coming from diverse backgrounds, including musical theatre and professional dance, the girls developed a close bond through the audition process, resulting in a stunning musical partnership

Alright, enough of that.

“Mack’n” is the debut single off of the group’s upcoming debut EP, Every Girl Has A Story. The song, which samples a line from Notorious B.I.G.‘s classic “Big Poppa,” is a delicious slow-sliding slice of modern R&B. I’m utterly obsessed with the chorus, and cannot wait to butcher the soaring “I just wanna let you know / You can try all you want” bit while belting this one out alone in my car.

Ciara, Brandy, DC3 and Danity Kane and everything else in between? Yep–I’m hearing all sorts of comparable sounds.

They’ve all got beautiful voices individually (check their YouTube account to see each member sing solo songs), but it’s the group’s harmonization–a skill that’s taken a backseat for most modern girl bands–that truly sets them apart as a quality act in my eyes/ears.

Aside from the silly name, I’m loving this group so far. Ready for more, please!

Well, this review ought to divide my readers.

Electrik Red are like the bitter castoffs booted from a pre-fame Destiny’s Child (one of them is named Binkie!) that decided to team up, have a massive orgy with The-Dream, and then cook up the most ghettolicious, glorious heap of scrap tracks from Ciara‘s latest album and called it How To Be A Lady: Volume 1.

Now, if there’s anything that I love in this world, it’s a girl with a potty mouth. Make that four girls with potty mouths! I’m talking ’bout some trash-talkin’, y’all-don’t-know-me type of shit–that’s why I listen to Khia for motivation and spiritual guidance.

Really then, it will be no surprise for anyone to learn that within the first few seconds of the opening track off of the Reds’ debut that I quickly learned to love: “And I’m the shit wit the shit shawty / I’m the shit wit the shit / I know what I’m doin’ with this shit / ‘Cause I’m the shit with this shit, shawty.” Concise, yet mind-blowing. Yes… ’twas love at first “Muah.”

Later on, my emotions were only further confirmed with the delicious bluntness of “W.F.Y.”, the squeaky, “Maneater”-friendly stomps of “Kill Bill,” and “P Is For Power,” the defiant “Single Ladies” addendum that plays like the schoolyard chant I never had growing up: “You ain’t gettin’ no P…nope, nope.” Any guesses on what it stands for? Me either.

But even if the uptempos aren’t your thing, the slow jams just may be. Take for instance the supple, grind-ready “9 To 5″ that clocks in just around the proper baby-making BPM. You’ll want to watch for some small glimmers of the Janet Jackson of yesteryear that one, as well as within the irresistibly catchy single, “So Good.”

Lets keep it real here: If you’re looking for originality, talent, or anything of any substantial cultural or musical value, this may not in fact be your cup of bubbly. But if you’re the type of person who finds solace in Kelis‘ “Fuck Them Bitches,” Ciara‘s “G Is For Girl (A-Z),” or anything off of Danity Kane‘s (RIP) last two albums, you’re going to have some fun.

DL: Electrik Red – W.F.Y.

Click below to hear more from Electrik Red.

It’s been a long time coming…

Enjoy!

—–

In case you weren’t aware, Utada is a single lady again. Yet ever since the dissolution of her marriage with acclaimed Japanese director Kazuaki Kiriya in 2007, the singer has not made even a single peep regarding the fact in any of her recent Japanese songs.

Maybe the words simply failed her in her native tongue. “Intoxicated, emancipated, unapologetic,” the singer proudly gushes in the chorus of “On And On,” the lead track of her second major English album, This Is The One. “Make the night go on and on,” she continues along a squeaky dance groove, ushering in a wave of frequent substance references and sexual come-ons.

Unquestionably, the album’s overtly sexual ‘tude and frequent references to marijuana may prove just a bit jarring to the ears of some fans of Utada, the same soft-spoken, teddy bear-toting artist that only three years ago released a children’s song called “I’m A Bear.” “During my 9 to 5’s, I’m thinking 6 and 9’s,” she coos along the bridge of “Dirty Desire,” a throbbing session of moans and groans not to far from the realm of another nasty songstress—Miss Jackson.

Lyrics aside, even the production may come as a surprise to some enthusiasts of her earlier English work. Far from the electronic pulsations of 2004’s Exodus, This Is The One is a career turnaround, placing the singer right back into the hip-hop vibe she first began with in 1997. With the assistance of producers Stargate and Christopher “Tricky” Stewart behind the mixing panel, the album revolves around a nostalgic array of trippy hip-hop beats and slinky dance grooves. And while most of the songs benefit from a twist of modernity (such as the infectious blend of urban beats and bossa nova swagger in “Me Muero”), some simply reek of kitsch ( “Taking My Money Back,” which might as well be a bonus track off of Destiny’s Child’s Writings On The Wall.)

The singer, who once managed to rhyme in the phrase “Tomb of Tutankhamen” on her 2004 album, only continues to indulge in her penchant for brow-raising phrasing: From “Honeys, if you’re gay, burn it up like a gay parade,” to “Used to be a Virgin, now I’m with Island Def Jam,” Utada’s made sure to supply each track with a few conversational conundrums worthy of at least one full head tilt.

Her need to poke fun at her own ethnicity has also made a resounding, if not entirely cringe-worthy comeback, raising the stakes with some truly awkward indulgences. “I love you long time,” she sighs into “Dirty Desire” at one point without even a lick of irony.

Utada’s follow-up effort (or as she insists, her “real debut”) is commendable in many ways—it’s fresh, hip, and incredibly re-listenable from start to finish. Yet in order to create such an accessible record as This Is The One, Utada has also sacrificed that wonderfully experimental sound of her deeply underrated 2004 release. Sure, it’s not the worst thing she could have done (a dabble into the territory of alt-country folk would probably do the trick), but it’s most certainly the safest.

Key tracks: “On And On,” “Me Muero,” “Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence – FYI”

DL: Utada – Dirty Desire

Click above to listen to Utada’s This Is The One NOW!

Utada Hikaru, This Is The One snippets: Part Deux.

“Apple and Cinnamon” simply cannot overcome its ridiculous title’s embarrassing repetition throughout the song. It’s catchy and melodious, though I’m left cringing at its blatant awkwardness. Let’s hope the track in full proves otherwise?

On the other hand, “Taking My Money Back” is a refreshing wink back in the direction of First Love, featuring a trippy, skipping beat a la Destiny’s Child.

Hikki’s evidently quite serious about this mission to revive the glory days of R&B with This Is The One. Though it’s a bit too soon to tell, the problem may be that she’s reviving the sound only too well, which could cause the album to fall flat into kitsch.

Let us wait and see.

In other news, Hikki’s hopped aboard the Kyte craze and begun video blogging the most random snippets of her life. First up? Washing her hair.

Judging by the stellar promotion going into this album’s campaign, consider this to be a promotional video…GET FIRED UP!

Taking into account the current sales, the chances of Girls Aloud hitting the Top Ten with “The Loving Kind” are now dangerously slim, with the single resting at a shaky #10 in the midweeks.

A failure to hit the Top Ten would end the Aloud’s record-breaking single run at the top of the charts, surpassing the Spice Girls and Destiny’s Child.

When words fail in these tenuous times, only human emotion can suffice.

My thoughts exactly, Sarah Harding.

A million thanks to Dial-999 at the PJ! Forums.

I am sick as a dog–and just in time for the holidays, no less! As a result, I’m confined to my quarters once more, where I’ve been steadily hacking and wheezing in solace. Death is rapidly approaching.

The silence has got me thinking however, and I realized that I haven’t done anything truly special for Christmas at MuuMuse.

While I find myself conjuring more phlegm than holiday cheer at the moment, I’ve endeavored to create the quintessential collection of holiday tracks to lift our spirits. I’ve no doubt that this little grouping will act as the surefire remedy to any winter-induced illnesses or blues.

Without further ado,

The Happy Homosexual’s Holiday Heralding: A Very Special Christmas Collection

Britney Spears – My Only Wish (This Year) (Mediafire)
Girls Aloud – I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday (Mediafire)
Madonna – Santa Baby (Mediafire)
Cher ft. Rosie O’ Donnell – Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home) (Mediafire)
BoA – Meri Kuri (Mediafire)
Dannii Minogue – I’ll Be Home For Christmas (Mediafire)
Lady Gaga – Christmas Tree (Mediafire)
Pet Shop Boys – It Doesn’t Often Snow At Christmas (Mediafire)
Savage Garden – Last Christmas (Mediafire)
Goldfrapp – Winter Wonderland (Mediafire)
Destiny’s Child – Carol Of The Bells (Mediafire)
Kylie Minogue – Santa Baby (Mediafire)

And to drive it all home,