SOMETHING KINDA OOOOH IS BREWING.

Yesterday afternoon, Nadine Coyle threw the entirely of the world into convulsions after tweeting that she was heading into the studio with Brian Higgins of Xenomania. “For what?!” billions demanded to know.

Well, we’ve got ourselves an answer. Seconds ago, Xenomania tweeted…

Prepping to go in the studio with @NadineCoyleNOW for new GA sessions

And then, just minutes later:

New GA sessions with @NicolaRoberts @KimberleyJWalsh @SarahNicHarding in the studio over the last week

SHAKING AND CRYING CROCODILE TEARS.

This is it! The moment we’ve been waiting for after 3 years: Girls Aloud are returning with new material!

To add to The Greatest Pop News of 2012, The Sun reported earlier that the Aloud will return with a charity single later this year for Children in Need:

When Cheryl, Nicola, Sarah, Kimberley and Nadine had a secret meeting in London last month, the offer to record the song was laid on the table. A source said: “The plan is to release it in November.

“It is looking like it will be an original song. Bosses think it will be the perfect comeback hit as well as helping a good cause.”

JUST INCREDIBLE.

Oh, and just in case you’re concerned–I wouldn’t get my panties in a twist about Chezza not being mentioned in the tweet. She’s already said she’s jazzed about a 10th Anniversary return. Plus, she’s busy promoting her amazing new single “Call My Name” at the moment.

As Queen Nuhdeen might say: Payshuhns ays uh vahyrchew.

PREPARE YOUR BODY FOR
THE RETURN OF THE ALMIGHTY ALOUD.

LITERALLY PUT DOWN YOUR GIRLS ALOUD SINGLES BOX TIN, STOP ALL OF YOUR BODILY PROCESSES AND SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Nadine “Flaw-Free” Coyle is one-fifth of Girls Aloud, The Greatest Girl Group of the 21st Century.

Girls Aloud’s music is produced by Xenomania, The Greatest Pop Production House of the 21st Century.

Nadine Coyle just tweeted…

Today in studio again making magic with the original dream team Brian Higgins and Xenomania. Xx

IS IT FOR SOLO WORK OR SOMETHING…ELSE?

OH MY GOD IS GIRLS ALOUD COMING BACK?

WILL I FINALLY BE ABLE TO STEP OUTSIDE AGAIN AFTER THREE YEARS OF NUCLEAR WINTER THAT HAVE CAUSED ME NOTHING BUT PAIN, MISERY AND LIFE GOT COLD-NESS?

THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF DAYS.

Here come the girls: Rumors have swirled for months, but according to an article in the New York Post earlier today, Una, Mollie, Vanessa, Rochelle and Frankie–together known as The Saturdays–have signed a deal to head stateside for an upcoming reality show on E!.

From the New York Post (so take it with a tiny pinch of salt):

British girl-band the Saturdays have just signed a development deal for a reality show with E! The fivesome girl group includes pretty blonde Mollie King, who was recently linked to Prince Harry. A source tells Page Six the new green-lit reality show will follow the band members’ personal and professional lives as they move to Los Angeles and work to climb the American pop charts, while continuing to build on their UK success. The Saturdays also includes Una Healy, who has just given birth to a daughter, Aoife Belle, with English rugby player Ben Foden. It is not immediately clear if Healy will be able to spend as much time filming the show stateside as her bandmates.

(I think my favorite part of that news item is the fact that the only two members mentioned are included merely because of their relationships with successful men. Girl power!)

I’m happy for them, but mostly nervous: If the Almighty Aloud and the Sugababes–the two highest selling and most influential British girl groups of the past decade–couldn’t spark even a little interest stateside with their music, I’m more than dubious that The Saturdays–who’ve yet to even notch a #1 single in the UK and just released a real stinker–will fare any better, exposure or otherwise.

Then again, they’re on E!–maybe someone will confuse Vanessa with a Kardashian sister or something.

Regardless, I’m still going to rally hard for these ladies and hope that they see some US success like their male counterparts, The Wanted and One Direction. It’s about time a girl group was recognized beyond the Spice Girls (even if we all know that The Saturdays are the Wet Seal to the Almighty Aloud’s Dior.)

Who knows? Maybe a little American success will light a fire under the Aloud’s respective butts to reclaim the throne–or even go stateside! Actually, I can already see Nadine tweeting from Nadine’s Irish Mist in Sunset Beach: “GAYRLS! ALL HAYNDS ON DECK! RAHYUNYUN! TAYME TO TURR! TAYME TO TURR!”

More than anything, we’re probably in for an American version of Totally Scott-Lee–which, now that I think about it, will probably be all shades of amazing. “But we were B-listed at Capital!”

Mollie, how do you feel about all this?

While you were sitting at home reorganizing your Girls Aloud singles collection in reverse chronological order to help pass the time between now and their impending reunion, Queen Cheryl Cole spent the past weekend in L.A. shooting the video for her upcoming dance floor (soon to be) anthem, “Call My Name.”

The clip for the song was directed by Anthony Mandler, who’s perhaps most famous for his frequent collabos with Rihanna, including “Only Girl (In The World)” and “Man Down.”

As one might gather from these on-set images (there’s about a million more right here), Cheryl’s looking seriously sick. Not like malaria sick, but rather “Oh, okay, so like…I’m straight now” sick. Like, bangin’ bod. Fierce hair. Fresh style. Like, OHMYGOD.

The drop dead gorgeous “Promise This” songstress tweeted out a few teaser lyrics after declaring the video a wrap earlier today: “Its a WRAP!! How d’ya think I feel when you Call My Name ??.. #saymynamebaby.” Rumor has it the single drops officially on April 20 on BBC Radio, but who knows? These things have a tendency to premiere unexpectedly earlier…

Between the behind-the-scenes shots of the video and the names attached to this project, it’s looking more and more likely that 2012 might actually be The Year of the Cole.

Prepare your body accordingly.

Surprise! The snippets from Madonna‘s MDNA just keep on keepin’ on!

Today’s track: “Beautiful Killer,” which was produced by Martin Solveig and inspired by French film star, Alain Delon.

My first reaction? OHMYGOD, it sounds just like a Girls Aloud track! (Specifically “Singapore.”)

The swirling, listless ’60′s vibe with the surf guitar and dramatic strings? Excellent. And that whispering of “Beautiful Killer”? Tingles! So very “Love Profusion.” (“I got you, under my skin…”) What a femme fatale!

I can’t handle the wait any longer. Someone put me out of my misery already!

“Can’t really talk with a gun in my mouth…”

“I Don’t Give A” | “Falling Free” | “I’m Addicted” | “Love Spent” | “Gang Bang” | “Superstar”

MDNA will be released on March 26. (iTunes)

STOP EVERYTHING IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

A few weeks ago, we learned that Queen Nicola Roberts, Holy Ruler of All Things Ginger And Free Of Flaw, was going to release “Yo-Yo” as the third single from her incredible debut, Cinderella’s Eyes, in January.

Normally, a new single from Queen Roberts would be something that’s already exciting enough as it is–but she just had to take it a step further: Roberts announced that she would also be releasing a solo version of one of Girls Aloud‘s best, most underrated cuts in their entire catalog as a B-side: “Memory Of You.” So then everybody was just sort of like…

Well, “Yo-Yo” dropped this week (which you can now order as a a signed physical edition, or via iTunes), as did Roberts’ rendition of “Memory Of You”–and although nothing could ever top the original, it’s all the pure icy disco deliciousness we had hoped and dreamed it would be.

Nicola Roberts – “Memory Of You”

When she’s not doing the whole brilliant/grating ’40′s warbly thing, Roberts possesses a wonderfully chilly vocal delivery style, making her take on the pulsing Girls Aloud B-side an utterly lush production.

I still don’t know why there are twenty-five electric angels dancing in the rain, I still don’t know why there’s ice cream shooting lasers in the sky, and I still don’t know if sheep count us when they can’t sleep at night. (Believe me, I’ve tried asking…they’ve all got bah-d attitudes.)

However, I do know that this is still one of the best things I’ve ever heard, ever.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get lost in Japan now.

BYE LESSERS!!!

“Yo-Yo” was released on January 8. (iTunes UK)

On Friday, I posted the first batch of MuuMuse’s Most Anticipated releases of 2012–round-up of what we already know, what we’ve already heard, what we want to hear in the next year. Naturally, one post just isn’t enough–so here’s round two!

Girls Aloud, TBA (Sixth Studio Album)

What it is: The epic return of the Almighty Aloud.
Expected shelf date: Late 2012.
Confirmed tracks: TBA
Production by: Xenomania (?)
What we know: It’s been two painful years since Girls Aloud announced their temporary hiatus in 2009. (Don’t remind me!) Earlier this year however, manager Hilary Shaw confirmed to MTV UK that the girls would return in 2012 to perform a few live shows. Now, there’s whispers of new music altogether: Nadine Coyle told me personally that she assumes new music’s in the works. Kimberley Walsh said “we’re doing something next year – we never intended to stop for good.” Queen Nicola vaguely told RWD Magazine that she would “hope there was something from us.” And, if you trust him, Perez Hilton says an album’s coming in December 2012.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Anything. We are not worthy.

Christina Aguilera, TBA (Seventh Studio Album)

What it is: Floptina’s chance to rise from the ashes.
Expected shelf date: Spring/Summer 2012.
Confirmed tracks: TBA
Production by: Dr. Luke (?)
What we know: Aguilera’s last album–2010′s severely misguided Bionic–redefined the concept of commercial failure. The album performed poorly on the charts, worse in the press, and earned the notoriously egotistical diva a new moniker: Floptina. Now, a diva needs her comeback. Christina herself told Croatia’s RTL earlier in 2011 that the upcoming record would be “very heartfelt, deep-rooted and introspective.” According to Hot 99.5, RCA’s Joe Riccitelli says she’s been recording everything from “uptempo dance” to ballads, and Dr. Luke may be working with the fallen-from-grace princess. Recent rumors suggest the first single may come as soon as January.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Stripped part deux, and the triumphant return to form of Legendtina.

The Veronicas, TBA (Third Studio Album)

What it is: A power-pop Aussie sister act’s long-awaited third act.
Expected shelf date: TBA
Confirmed tracks: “Cold,” “Let Me Out,” “Dead Cool”
Production by: Nellee Hooper
What we know: After almost five years since their 2007 studio album Hook Me Up, the Aussie electro-pop/rock sister duo are finally returning to the scene with a studio album in 2012. The girls recently confirmed working with Nellee Hooper, describing their new music as “a really new sound” that includes some rock influences, as well as “trip-hop and drum and bass.” In August, the duo previewed several promising new tracks during a showcase at L.A.’s Viper Room, including “Cold” and “Let Me Out.”
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Even more infectious hooks, jagged electro-pop/rock and darker, angst-ridden lyricism.

No Doubt, TBA (Sixth Studio Album)

What it is: The ten year reunion of a legendary pop-rock outfit.
Expected shelf date: TBA
Confirmed tracks: “Push and Shove,” “One More Summer,” “Settle Down,” “Undercover”
Production by: Spike Stent, Diplo, Anthony Gorry
What we know: The band’s been writing and recording this upcoming LP since 2008 (their first in over a decade since 2001′s Rock Steady). In June, Rolling Stone described some of the tracks off the upcoming record during a preview at producer Spike Stent‘s studio, including the “party-ready reggae” of “Settle Down” and the “pounding dance beats” of “One More Summer.” More spoilers have come by the way of Twitter, including a Major Lazer (Diplo) collaboration back in July, as well as a tweet from Brixton Angels‘ Anthony Gorry from inside the studio.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Ska-pop for the 22nd century and beyond.

JoJo, Jumping Trains (Third Studio Album)

What it is: One of pop’s most talented vocalists finally breaking free.
Expected shelf date: Early 2012
Confirmed tracks: “Disaster,” “Jumping Trains,” “Lie To Me”
Production by: Mario Marchetti, Darkchild, Danja, The Interns, The Messengers
What we know: Shady dealings at her former label kept JoJo’s third record under lock and key for over four years. Now that she’s signed to Interscope Records, the talented chanteuse is finally ready to go. Earlier this year, JoJo told MuuMuse that the upcoming album would feature production by Darkchild, Danja and The Messengers and that the music will sound more aggressive–or as she described it, “pop with an anger management problem.” Apart from her current lead single “Disaster,” JoJo’s been performing new tracks from the record, including “Jumping Trains” at Girls Who Rock 2011 and the punchy “Lie To Me” while on tour with Joe Jonas and Jay Sean.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: The pop equivalent of a T.K.O.

Nicki Minaj, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded (Second Studio Album)

What it is: The pink-haired princess of rap-pop returns–as a boy.
Expected shelf date: February 14, 2012
Confirmed tracks: “Roman in Moscow”
Production by: StreetRunner, Sarom
What we know: To record the follow-up to her 2010 debut Pink Friday, the Young Money rapstress has enlisted one of her alter-egos: Roman Zolanski, a mischievous gay boy. Weeks ago, the singer unleashed the first taste of the upcoming record called “Roman in Moscow,” a rapid-fire attack of ferocious lyricism and hilarious accents on top of a hectic beat, suggesting a return to the spitfire Minaj of her early mixtapes. Recent rumors suggest the first single will be called “Va Va Voom.”
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Pre-fame Nicki: All fire-hot hooks, no singing please.

Adam Lambert, Trespassing (Second Studio Album)

What it is: Pop’s reigning bad boy coming back stronger than ever.
Expected shelf date: March 20, 2012
Confirmed tracks: “Outlaws of Love,” “Trespassing,” “Better Than I Know Myself”
Production by: Dr. Luke, Bruno Mars, Pharrell Williams, Benny Blanco, Nile Rodgers, Claude Kelly
What we know: It’s a big one: MTV confirms that the singer worked with an staggering array of top pop producers, including Dr. Luke, Bruno Mars and Pharrell (who co-wrote the title track). Earlier in November, Lambert told The Advocate that he was crafting his “dream album,” promising a “more personal” record mixed with “singer-songwriter tracks, electrofunk” and “Nine Inch Nails meets George Michael” synth-pop. The album’s lead single, “Better Than I Know Myself,” just dropped this week–which we quite like.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: An unexpected pop masterpiece that propels Lambert from pop star to music royalty.

Neon Hitch, Beg, Borrow & Steal (Debut Album)

What it is: The UK gypsy-pop princess’ grand entrance to the music scene.
Expected shelf date: TBA
Confirmed tracks: “Get Over U,” “Silly Girl,” Bad Dog,” “Fuck U Betta”
Production by: Benny Blanco
What we know: Hitch has been banging out smash Benny Blanco-produced hits from her debut record for well over the year now–from “Get Over U” to “Silly Girl” to “Bad Dog”–as well as performing new songs live, including “Fuck U Betta.” As soon as the singer comes off of her high as a feature on Gym Class Heroes‘ new single “Ass Back Home” which is currently building at radio, the new album should be ready to go.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: More kick-ass power pop that’ll give Neon the credit she so dearly deserves.

Nelly Furtado, TBA (Fifth Studio Album)

What it is: Furtado’s first English record in over five years.
Expected shelf date: TBA
Confirmed tracks: “The Edge,” “Mystery”
Production by: Timbaland, Salaam Remi, Ryan Tedder, Mike Angelakos
What we know: After Furtado’s stellar collaboration with Timbaland on Loose in 2006, the multilingual singer-songwriter returned to the studio with the acclaimed producer for another go. But that’s not all–since then, she’s been working with Salaam Remi, Ryan Tedder and Passion Pit‘s Mike Angelakos. Last year, she told the New York Post that the new record shares the “organic and raw feel” of her debut Whoa, Nelly! and described it as a “refreshing, clean pop sound.” In February, Furtado tweeted about an upcoming song feauring rapper Nas, which has yet to be released.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: An updated Loose, with folk and dance elements.

BRIEFLY CEASE YOUR BEING.

Flaw-Free Ginger Goddess Queen Legend Nicola Roberts is, as we’ve already determined with her debut solo record Cinderella’s Eyes, an amazing pop star. But now, she’s just gone and done something EVEN MORE AMAZING.

Her upcoming single, “Yo-Yo,” (watch the video which premiered earlier this week) is due out in the UK on January 8. And for fans who pre-order the EP on iTunes UK NOW, they’ll receive Roberts’ solo version of Girls Aloud‘s “Memory Of You.”

“Memory Of You,” for those not already aware, is one of Girls Aloud’s greatest songs of all time. (Note: Girls ALoud only make amazing songs, but this just so happens to be one of the most amazing-est.) It is a 100% Perfect, icy disco Xenomania gem, with literally no flaws to be found whatsoever.

What’s even more amazing is that you can already listen to 1:30 sample of Nicola’s solo version on iTunes UK! (US fans: Log into the iTunes, change the store to UK and search “Nicola Roberts Yo-Yo.”)

Now, the thing about Nicola’s version of the song is that it is COMPLETELY AMAZING AND ABSOLUTELY FUCKING EVERYTHING.

While we wait for the full version (time goes by…so slowly!), allow me to refresh your MEMORY FOR YOU.

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

“Yo-Yo” will be released on January 8. (iTunes UK)

With a spunky, girlish charm as infectious as the Spice Girls in their heyday and vocal chops that’d have The Saturdays and Sugababes 4.0 shaking in their stilettos, The Dolly Rockers have remained my favorite new girl group–err, girl group in the works–since Girls Aloud.

Though it’s taken them a long, long, long time to get their show on the road (over the past two years they’ve dropped one member, replaced her, and signed under RedOne‘s record label), there’s something so undeniably irresistible about the tutu wearing, bratty British trio.

To this day, I’m still listening to “Je Suis Une Dolly,” “Gold Digger”, and “Boys Will Be Boys,” which is literally one of the best pop songs (that was never even released) of the past 10 years.

Now, as Sophie, Lucie and Daniele put the finishing touches on their long, long, long awaited debut album, they’ve gone ahead and given their ever-patient fans a lovely new treat: Their first ever cover!

Click above to watch the girls take on Demi Lovato‘s devastating ballad, “Skyscraper.” As you can clearly hear within the first few seconds, it’s absolutely fantastic.

Like, almost deceptively amazing. Like, “Oh, okay. Cool. A cover. Wait, but this is–this is fucking BRILLIANT.” And those soulful harmonies? Unbelievable! Their styling, their sound…I just love them so much!

We’ve seen some rather meh UK girl groups launched over the past few years, but I wholeheartedly maintain that the Dollys will be the ones to watch in 2012. Now, who’s ready to get Dolly Rockered?

We’ve seen a lot regarding Cheryl Cole, Nicola Roberts and Nadine Coyle ’round these parts lately. Now it’s time to give some shine to another member of the brilliant fivesome known as Girls Aloud: Kimberley Walsh.

Earlier today, Fabulous published an interview and rocker-chic photo shoot with the Aloud’s resident theater geek (remember that musical medley during the Chemistry Tour?) as she begins her run as Princess Fiona in the West End’s Shrek The Musical.

It’s a great read in full, but here’s some excerpts for ye of the lazier variety:

On having the least amount of drama out of all the Girls Aloud members:

Sometimes I do look at myself and think how it’s all been very easy. In a way, that makes me worry that it shouldn’t be such plain sailing and wonder when something bad will happen to me! But to be honest, I always felt that bit older than the other girls so I always felt I knew myself a bit more and had a bit more of the confidence you get in that way.

On being with her boyfriend of over 8 years, former Triple 8 member Justin Scott:

We still think of ourselves as really young, but actually we do need to get going! We’ve bought our first proper house together, which is a home rather than a place to live. I’m incredibly lucky to be financially secure and to be with the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. I’ve got no excuses, really – apart from that I need to get through this show and then we’re talking about the Girls Aloud reunion next year…

On being curvier than the average pop star:

I’m proud of my shape because I think it sends a better message to girls. And yes, there were definitely times in Girls Aloud where it could get difficult. All of those girls are so slim and there would be the moments where they’d say: ‘Let’s do hot pants in the next video,’ and I’d be thinking: ‘Oh no!’ But my attitude very quickly changed to: ‘What the hell!’ So I’d look curvier in the shorts – so what? That is me and I’d think: ‘I’m just standing up for all the curvy girls like me.’

On bandmate Cheryl being ‘heartbroken’ over the US X Factor snub:

People don’t really know Cheryl. Everybody talked about it like it was the most horrific thing, that it was this massive deal, but it wasn’t like that for her. She’s very much: ‘That’s life, some things don’t work out and let’s move on.’

On the girl group now rapidly growing popular in the UK, The Saturdays:

The Saturdays have done well, but people don’t know them individually,” says Kimberley. “People got to know us in Popstars: The Rivals. Then after we won, it may have looked easy but it was incredibly tough. That was when we bonded. We kept thinking we were going to lose it all, nothing was certain and it made us stick together. It made us fighters, it made us a real team, real friends.

God, I love me some Kimba: She’s got such an incredibly refreshing and positive outlook on life, she’s outspoken, and she’s completely proud of her legacy as an Aloud. Just some of the many reasons why the Girls Aloud roster remains unmatched!

You’ve got to love those constant references to a 2012 reunion as well. Let’s make it happen, ladies!