Christ on a Christmas cracker–the 2010 BRIT Award nominations are in!

I can’t believe it’s time already for the ceremony to begin once again. It seems like only yesterday I was sitting in my bed watching in disbelief as Gaga robo-danced her way on stage with pieces of shattered china plates glued to her lady bits. Ahh, memories.

As per usual (see 2009), I’ve gone ahead and bolded my favorites for the crown and added a few insightful comments and/or snooty one-liners to the end of each category.

And awayyy we go! (Thanks to The Guardian for the full list of nominees.)

Click to read…

If you didn’t already know, The Saturdays have recently released their latest single “Ego” on January 3, their second off of Wordshaker. The song has since peaked at #9 on the UK Singles chart, securing the girls their sixth Top 10 single.

Above, check out their performance of the single live on tonight’s Dancing on Ice in the UK.

The Saturdays completely and utterly nail it: The choreography; the harmonization; the outfits; the sass. Everything works together here–even the professional skaters swinging only inches away from an ice-related head trauma.

Above all, this is the performance that has made me want to know their names on an individual level. So congratulations Una, Mollie, Vanessa, Rochelle, and Frankie…I’m all up in your business now!

Hey, Muusers…

So, I’ve unexpectedly fallen ill (I’ve been couch-bound all day–and I didn’t even drink last night!), but when I saw that this radio interview occurred, I knew that it was a perfect fit for the first post of 2010.

Click here to listen to Nuhdeen Coyle and Alan Carr tick off some of the greatest British songs of the Noughties for The Great British Songbook on BBC’s Radio 2 (It starts at the 18:30 mark).

Loads of great song selections, great dialogue between the two (Nuhdeen speak in full force!), and quite a few unexpected call-in guests, including Heidi Range, Adele, and Paloma Faith.

For Girls Aloud fans, NuhdeenNuts, and any and all Brit pop fanatics…this is a must listen. Trust me, it’s brightened my spirits, and I can barely move my body!

Photo courtesy of Suck.com.

Year-end wrap up lists are nice and all, but it’s the “Most Anticipated” lists that are way more fun for me to read. The rumors! The possibilities! The inability to foresee a terrible album in the making! Who can resist the sweet, succulent taste of possibility?

Of course, there are dozens of albums being released, and I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface as far as what to expect. Nonetheless, I wanted to run down a few of my own personally anticipated releases for the new year.

So, without further ado, let’s roll out some of the biggest releases hitting shelves sometime in the next year. This will be the year of some ‘Sweet 7′s, it appears!

Sade, Soldier of Love (Sixth studio album)

What it is: The band’s first release in about a decade.
Expected shelf date: February 8, 2010.
Produced by: Mike Pela, Sade.
What we know: The album’s title track is a stunning achievement. Could the album possibly be anything less?
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Smooth, icy vocals and warm jazz sounds.

Ellie Goulding, TBA (Debut Album)

What it is: An exciting, possibly incredible (though potentially dead-in-the-water) debut by 2009′s leading indie electro-pop up-and-comer.
Expected shelf date: According to Play.com, March 3, 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “Starry Eyed,” “Under the Sheets,” “Wish I Stayed”
Production by: Starsmith, Frankmusik
What we know: It’s been in the works for a while. She’s quirky, her music is interesting and fresh, and we haven’t heard a dud from her yet. Let’s just hope this is released before the hype catches up with her first.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: “Starry Eyed” and “Under the Sheets” repeated a dozen times over.

Kylie Minogue, TBA (Eleventh studio album)

What it is: Divine intervention. (That should totally be the album title!)
Expected shelf date: Unknown, probably 3Q or 4Q 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “Better Than Today”
Production by: Nerina Pallot
What we know: Hardly anything, aside from the fact that Kylie was looking to Barbarella for inspiration while recording in New York a few weeks ago.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: The slick, coquettish electronica of Body Language (“Slow”) mixed the with sophisticated, edgy dancefloor flow of X (“Speakerphone”). And a little less emphasis on the camp factor, s’il vous plait.

Girls Aloud, TBA (Sixth studio album)

What it is: A much-needed comeback album from the greatest girl group since the Spice Girls.
Production by: I mean…it has to be Xenomania, right?
Expected shelf date: Way, way later in 2010.
What we know: Nothing, aside from the fact that their official website confirmed an album slated for 2010.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: A shying away from the drum-and-bass sound and a prolonged stay in the territory of “Untouchable” and “Memory of You.”

Jennifer Lopez, Love? (Seventh Studio Album)

What it is: Jennifer ‘Lola J-Lo Jenny Rudebooty’ Lopez takes it to the streets once again to prove she still has ‘flava.’
Expected shelf date: April 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “Louboutins,” “Fresh Out The Oven,” Everybody’s Girl,” “What Is Love,” Starting Over,” “Beautiful,” “This Cannot Be Love,” “One Love,” “Keeper”
Production by: Mike Caren, The-Dream, Tricky Stewart, D’Mile, Danja, Darkchild, The Neptunes
What we know: Rap-Up’s write-up of the album preview includes terms like “electro-pop beat,” “slick uptempo production” and “guitar driven ballad.”
MuuMuse hopes to hear: A return to the dancefloor a la “Waiting for Tonight” with some guilty pleasure stompers like “Louboutins.” Minimal ballads, please.

Sugababes, Sweet 7 (Seventh Studio Album)

What it is: The grand unveiling of a new Sugababes era. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Jade, Amelle, and Heidi.
Expected shelf date: February 28, 2010
Confirmed tracks: “Get Sexy,” “About A Girl,” “Thank You For The Heartbreak,” “Miss Everything,” “Wear My Kiss”
Production by: RedOne, Sean Kingston, Ne-Yo, The Smeezingtons, Fernando Garibay
What we know: How half of the album sounds. The Sweet 7 album sampler featuring Keisha leaked onto the net a few months ago. However, there’s been talk of recording new tracks.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: What we’ve been hearing. Slick, modern production and a fierce new confidence never before honed by the original three line-ups: It’s time to let Sweet 7 go Vanity 6.

Röyksopp, Senior (Fourth studio album)

What it is: The ambient, down-tempo companion piece to one of 2009′s greatest albums, Junior.
Expected shelf date: Early 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “The Alcoholic,” “The Fear,” “Coming Home”
Production by: Royksopp
What we know: From TLOBF: “Senior is more withdrawn and introspective and create an atmosphere and an ambience, to sit down and if you don’t need constant loud information all the time that’s what Senior is all about.”
MuuMuse hopes to hear: A more sophisticated, contemplative extension of Melody AM.

Uffie, Sex Dreams and Denim Jeans (Debut album)

What it is: The incredibly overdue debut of an underground trash-pop queen in the making.
Confirmed tracks: “Pop the Glock,” “Hot Chick,” “MC’s Can Kiss”
Expected shelf date: February 14, 2010, according to The Guardian.
Production by: Mr. Oizo, Mirwais, Pharrell
What we know: “MC’s Can Kiss,” the upcoming single off of the album, is an old-school-hip-hop-meets-modern-beats orgy.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Sick beatz from some extremely talented producers…and a whole lot of trash talkin’.

Britney Spears, TBA (7th Studio Album)

What it is: Don’t even get me started…don’t even get me started.
Production by: Track submissions are pouring in from the likes of Darkchild, Max Martin, Sean Garrett, Danja, Fernando Garibay, David Guetta, and many more.
Expected shelf date: Though Digital Spy reports that Jive is looking for a May 2010 release, I can’t help but assume that we’ll see this around the same time we’ve always seen Britney releases for the past three albums–the very end of the year.
What we know: Nothing really.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Icy R&B-infused electronica. Anything by Bloodshy & Avant. Anything in the direction of “And Then We Kiss.” Less Circus, more Blackout, but with soul. By the way, can we finally call this one Original Doll, Team Spears?

Honestly, It doesn’t even matter what it sounds like in the end. Why? Because it’s Britney, bitch. That’s why.

Well, the year is just about over now, which means that those “Best Of 2009″ lists just won’t let up anytime soon. Two weeks ago saw my “Top 40 Albums of 2009″ list. Now, it’s time to get down to the finest singles of the year. LET’S DO THIS.

All chart and sales figures provided by Wikipedia.

20. Mariah Carey – Obsessed (Listen)
It was the guiltiest, most quotable pleasure of the year: “Obsessed,” the so-bad-it’s-good, so-good-it’s-bad mid-tempo jam leading off the charge of Mariah Carey’s less than successful twelfth studio album, Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel.

You love it, you hate it, but there’s no need to get all fired up with your Napoleon complex; the only thing that could have made this song better would be if it came bundled with a George Foreman grill and a bottle of Windex.

“Obsessed” topped the charts at #7 on the US Hot 100, as well as #1 on the Billboard Hot Dance Club Songs list and Top 20 in many territories around the world.

19. Beyonce – Video Phone ft. Lady Gaga (Listen)
Though it would be impossible to top the weave-tossin’, hip-poppin’ brilliance that is “Diva,” “Video Phone” is just about as close as you can get to replicating that level of fierce-nass. Already an instant classic off of I Am…Sasha Fierce, the injection of Lady Gaga‘s ridiculous, warbling verses and a tranny-tastic music video made the song damn near untouchable.

That being said, “Video Phone” generally failed to catch on with the general public, stalling at #65 on the Hot 100 with no sign of fueling back up again anytime soon.

18. Cheryl Cole – Fight For This Love (Listen)
It was the tensest moment on X Factor this year: The debut performance of a solo Cheryl Cole. What would she sound like? How would the song fare? Breaking out with a hip, sleek routine (once a soldier, then a samurai) and a nasty dance break sequence, Cheryl fought, fought, fought for the public’s love, effectively dominating the latter half of 2009 with her debut single.

Though not the strongest song off of her debut 3 Words, it’s certainly the most influential: “Fight For This Love” broke the record for the fastest selling UK single, debuted at #1 in both Ireland and the UK, and scored the highest first week sales for a single in 2009.

17. Ke$ha – Tik Tok (Listen)
It’s loud, it’s obnoxious, and it’s all I listened to during the summer: “Tik Tok” is drunk-pop revelry at its finest, and one hell of a way to debut.

The song as just hit #1 on the Hot 100, according to yesterday’s Billboard news.

16. Shakira – She Wolf (Listen)
If anyone else sung this, it would be a disaster. But it’s not just anyone–it’s Shakira, the lust-worthy Latina songstress capable of making a coffee machine in an office sound downright sexy. The release was aided by an equally weird/brilliant video, featuring the singer doing enough limb-bending choreography to have Gumby crossing his legs in pain while watching.

“She Wolf” and its Spanish counterpart “Loba” climbed to the #11 spot on the US Hot 100 and a #1 position on the Hot Dance Club Songs list, as well as dozens of Top 10 positions all around the world.

15. Madonna – Celebration (Listen)
Ringing in over twenty-five years of international success in the music industry as the world’s reigning Queen of Pop, “Celebration” had quite a bit of hype to live up to. While some criticized the singer for trying too hard to maintain relevancy, the song served its purpose and ultimately contributed to the Madonna legacy of pure, unadulterated escapism tacked to a disco dancing beat.

While “Celebration” stalled at #71 on the US Billboard Hot 100, the song took a Top 5 charting across most other parts of the world, including a #3 peak in the UK’s Single Chart.

14. Rihanna – Hard (Listen)
Leading off one of the year’s best albums, Riri goes harder than ever before with a cocky chorus and a newfound swagger and delightfully confident sexuality. Lots of brags (“The hottest bitch in heels right here”) and lots of burns (“Ain’t like me, that chick too phony”). And as for that personal shout-out near the song’s end? “Where dem blah-gahs at? Where dem blah-gahs at?” Yeah…bonus points all around.

“Hard” has since climbed to the #11 position on the US Hot 100, though it’s still too new to declare the song’s peak position.

13. Sugababes – About A Girl (Listen)
As the unexpected dawn of a new era began late this year with the departure of Keisha Buchanan and the arrival of Jade Ewen, haters and doubters declared the girl group officially dead.

As it turned out, the Sugas have never sounded sweeter. “About A Girl” was the defiant anthem the girls needed to survive, earning a #8 spot on the UK Charts and proving that Jade Ewen is a voice to be reckoned with.

12. Lily Allen – The Fear (Listen)
Leading off the campaign for her sophomore album, It’s Not Me, It’s You, “The Fear” took a wry stab at the socialite life. With Greg Kurstin‘s glittering electronic beats and that gorgeous, dizzying chorus, it’s not hard to miss out on Allen’s dripping sarcasm: “I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless /’Cuz everyone knows that’s how you get famous.”

The song took the #1 spot on the UK singles chart, as well as scoring the “Best Track” award at the Q Awards.

11. Natalie Imbruglia – Want (Listen)
It’s all that you could ever want, over and over again: A lush, disco melody on repeat, “Want” is the sugary surprise single that led the march for Imbruglia’s solid fourth studio album, Come to Life.

Sadly, the song was never quite given its due credit, eventually peaking at #22 in Australia and #88 in the UK.

10. Gossip – Heavy Cross (Listen)
Did any other song send a chill running down our spines this year quite like Beth Ditto‘s howl of “I choose you!” just one minute into “Heavy Cross”? Doubtful. The song itself is a rocking smash, complete with jagged guitar riffs and disco-tinged drum beats, but it’s the Fred Falke remix made this release truly sublime.

The single premiered quite well overseas, including the #2 position in Germany and Switzerland, as well as the #14 spot on the US Billboard Hot Dance Club Play chart.

9. La Roux – Bulletproof (Listen)
Say what I have about Elly Jackson‘s nasty attitude or her oft-insufferable falsetto, La Roux’s debut provided some of the catchiest, hookiest tracks of 2009. Add some bright, colorful ’80′s-flavored beats to one unstoppably catchy chorus, and there you have it: “Bulletproof,” a track that more than validated all those “One to Watch” list predictions last year.

“Bulletproof” took the #1 position on the UK charts, a #1 slot on the US Dance Charts, and a gold certification in Australia and New Zealand, amongst dozens of other countries.

8. Annie – Anthonio (Listen)
With the 2008 Don’t Stop campaign at a halt for more than half a year, “Anthonio” was the much-needed reassurance that the Anniemal was still alive and well. Soothing, melodic italo-disco sweeps over the speakers as the singer recalls the tale of the no-good, dirt bag who left alone and pregnant. What more could you ask for?

While it never landed a spot on the main Singles charts, “Anthonio” climbed to #5 on the UK Indie Chart.

7. Girls Aloud – Untouchable (Listen)
The word epic is far overused in modern society, but this song cannot be properly described by any other term: Clocking in at just under seven minutes, “Untouchable” is the Girls Aloud’s own “Bohemian Rhapsody,” complete with euphoric flares of synthesizers and a classic Xenomania beat.

In the greatest Pop Injustice of 2009, “Untouchable” charted just outside the Top 10 position in the UK at #11, effectively ending the girl group’s run of twenty Top 10 singles.

6. Florence + The Machine – Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) (Listen)
I’d seen some references to Florence over the summer, but it wasn’t until her performance of “Rabbit Heart” on Later…with Jools Holland that I realized just how magical this witchy woman and her music actually were. Honorable mentions go out to the equally deserving subsequent singles from Lungs, including “Drumming Song” and “You’ve Got the Love.”

“Rabbit Heart” peaked at #12 on the UK Singles Chart.

5. Bat For Lashes – Daniel (Listen)
Haunting vocals, warm droplets of synthesizer, and an endless, searching sense of loneliness, “Daniel” quickly became the clear, crowning victory of Bat For Lashes‘ Two Suns sessions.

“Daniel” peaked at #36 on the UK Singles Chart.

4. Royksopp – Girl and the Robot (Listen)
Combine Sweden’s Pop Princess with Norway’s electro-geniuses, and you’ve got yourself the greatest robot love song from a Swedish chanteuse since Margaret Berger‘s “The Robot Song”…and that’s saying a lot.

The song took on the #2 position on the Norweigan Singles Chart and a surprisingly modest #25 position on the Swedish Singles Chart.

3. Britney Spears – 3 (Listen)
Considering it’s Britney (bitch), “3″ is pretty low on my “Best Of” list. With a less-than-stellar video (the director’s cut having redeemed the original), Britney’s ode to playing Yahtzee with a friend or two (or Freudian exploration of fantasy, depending on who you ask) walks the line between sexy and sleazy a bit too unevenly, at times coming off childish and tacky (which is why I’m ready for a break from further Max Martin collaborations.) Subject matter aside, it’s still an unbelievably catchy record, and one hell of a Britney classic.

The single was an instant success with radio, nabbing the #1 spot on US radio, as well as a position in Top 10 charts all across the world.

2. Ellie Goulding – Under the Sheets (Listen)
Up until a few months ago, newcomer Ellie Goulding had released nothing but a few demos and behind-the-scenes videos on her MySpace.

“Under the Sheets,” her debut release, is a gorgeous, multi-layered tapestry of hypnotic electronica and breathy vocals, not all that far from the major league stuff of Imogen Heap and Björk. The song’s replay-ready quality, coupled with a yelp-at-the-top-of-your-lungs harmonies has, for better or worse, sprinkled all sorts of high expectations around the upcoming release of her debut album in 2010.

“Under The Sheets” has since peaked at #53 on the UK charts.

1. Lady Gaga – Bad Romance (Listen)
A crashing anthem of a chorus. Hitchcock references. A vogue-ready middle eight. Hooks a plenty. Nonsensical syllables abound. Fame. Death. Sex. Love. I’m a free bitch, baby.

As the most powerful, raucous celebration of pop music in years, “Bad Romance” has finalized Lady Gaga’s transition from a flavor of the month to an icon in the making. Though she may credit “Speechless” as her greatest song to date, it’s “Bad Romance” that takes the title in my book blog.

The song took the #2 spot on the Hot 100, as well as a #1 ranking in several countries internationally, including Canada, Italy, Sweden and the UK.

As if there were any question, “Bad Romance” is the best single of 2009, bar none.

Here are The Plastiscines, a French foursome of rebellious post-riot grrrl rawk looking for a little bit of fun at night on the streets of Gay Paris.

A visual cross between the ’60′s cinema glam goddesses (Brigitte Bardot) and the ’00′s modern girl group stylistas (Girls Aloud), the ladies of the Plastiscines are leading a rallying cry with their new single “Bitch,” a fierce, youthful, all out ladies anthem for the new generation.

I love it very much, but mainly because this record makes me want to go and ‘get my tits out.’

“Bitch” will be released on January 25, 2010.

The single is the latest to come from the troupe’s second LP, About Love, released under US label, Nylon Records on August 4.

Purchase About Love on iTunes | MySpace | Official Website

Photo courtesy of Daily Mail.

Sleigh bells ring…are you listening? No? Me neither.

Instead, I was busy watching ITV1′s Cheryl Cole’s Night In, broadcasted live from some nice gentleman’s TV in the UK this afternoon.

The show, similar to Girls Aloud‘s Christmas special, The Girls Aloud Party (minus the funny), was a one-off special including many artists, in-depth interviews, and three performances by the hostess herself. While it all sort of seemed like one massive lead-in for X Factor, it was nice while it lasted.

Let’s sort through the performances, shall we?

It’s “Fight For This Love”–with a quick occupational change!

Trading in the soldier’s jacket for a flowing silk kimono (sort of), Cole goes from soldier to samurai in this phenomenal hot-pink re-hash of her much beloved first single and its original X Factor routine.

And yes, after three nail-biting moments, the payoff returns: The dance break’s back! And what’s more, it’s reinvented! Just watch what she does with that sword. Love, love, LOVE my Cheryl!

Erm…such a pretty dress!

Sorry. Vocally it’s a bit weak, and performance-wise it’s a bit stiff, but I’ll be damned if she isn’t an absolute vision here.

It’s hard for me to be “objective” about Rihannoir, given that I’m so enamored by her lately.

I think this is vocally even stronger than her latest performance on Saturday Night Live, and perhaps one of the more intriguing performances as of late. (She’s performed it so many times in the space of a month, now that I think about it!)

Highlights include blue fire, white shoulder-pad spikes, front-heel high heeled shoes, torches, and a lovely stringed accompaniment. The beginning of the performance hints at a softer ballad rendition of “Russian Roulette.” Can we please make a full version of that happen?

A top-notch performance of “Bad Boys” from last year’s X Factor winner (mentored by Cole!), Alexandra Burke. I don’t know all that much about her, but judging from her tweets and her interview on the show, I’d say she’s a rather chipper person. Hurrah for Alexandra!

In the best surprise of the night however, Cole took to the stage for the final time to perform “Parachute” for the first time ever, along with one of Dancing With the Stars‘ professional dancers, Derek Hough.

Not only did she look STUNNING, but the choreography was as close to perfection as Cole’s ever come. While some fans may bitch about the performance being lip-synched, all I can say is: Who gives a shit? We all know she isn’t a vocalist, so why bother forcing it? This is entertainment, my friends…not a vocal showcase.

And that was Cheryl Cole’s first ever (only ever?) one-off special.

This evening, Cheryl Cole performed her debut single, “Fight For This Love,” for the VERY first time on live television.

Though she’s already been on tour with Girls Aloud for over seven years, performing live for hundreds of TV shows and arena concerts, there was just something about the fact that it was only Cheryl that made the moments leading up to her entrance as nerve-inducing as her very first performance on Popstars.

As we should have known, Cole handled it like the pro that she already is. Stepping off the stage as a judge and into the spotlight as a performer, the singer unleashed a stellar performance of “Fight For This Love,” suited in a slightly modified version of the military jacket from her video, a mesh top, and a pair of double-slitted black slacks.

Though her voice may have threatened to crack at times (whether it be result of the dance moves or that whole national audience viewing thing) she held on throughout, moving her way across the stage with a flank of soldier-dancers in tow.

However, it wasn’t until the song began to fade (and Simon began to stand) that the real “WOW!” moment began: As the music broke into a militant strut a la Rhythm Nation, Cole strutted it out for a brilliant, all-too-brief dance breakdown. The legs! The shimmying! That licky-hand-slap dance move! It was all she needed to do and then some; almost certain to secure her place at #1 this week.

Big love to the fact that Nicola, Kimberley, and Sarah were in the audience. I’m assuming Nuh-deen’s busy recording her own debut single right now out in L.A. or something. (Note: This is more of a dream than an assumption.)

And as for the main attraction, Miss Whitney Houston, who performed immediately after? Err, well…I’d rather not get into it out of respect.