Category — Janet Jackson

What if Britney Spears recorded a complete track-by-track cover of Janet Jackson‘s Control, all produced by Bloodshy & Avant?

Yeah. That would fucking rule.

I have been feeling so, so proud of my favorite ladies lately: Album launches, recording sessions, live performances, photoshoots, general fierceness, etc. Why not take a stroll ’round the world and see what everyone’s up to?

Grace Jones, showing us all how to walk the walk at the Serpentine Gallery Summer Party in London on July 8. Honestly, this bitch could make a hairnet look fierce. Oh, wait…she already did that.

Janet Jackson, performing at the Essence Music Festival on July 2. Did you check out her performance of “Discipline” from the night? It makes her previous performances of “Rope Burn” look tame. Got DAMN.

Nicki Minaj, posing on the set of her new video for current smash single, “Your Love,” which is due out soon. Have you heard her verse on the latest track she’s lent her lip service to (Trey Songz‘ “Bottoms Up”)? Vicious and delicious.

Madonna, posing for the Fall/Winter 2010 collection for Dolce & Gabbana (and looking like a million euros). Not sure who the bitch standing up in the photo is, but she’s completely stealing the shot. Must be an outtake.

Kylie Minogue, being fierce and mighty while performing for G-A-Y at Heaven Nightclub in London on July 11. The epitome of elegance, non?

Christina Aguilera, posing with her husband Jordan at the opening reception for Jonathan Yeo’s Gallery in Beverly Hills on July 8. Gorgeous–and the video for “You Lost Me” is shaping up quite nicely. Loving the new hair!

Lady Gaga, staying in for the night with a nice cup of tea on July 13. In case you didn’t hear, she tore the house down in her hometown last week at Madison Square Garden.

Britney Spears, being the fucking iconic LEGEND that she is while posing for the August issue of Cosmopolitan (which just hit newsstands). Snag it immediately.

Now wasn’t it nice to celebrate all of our pop divas at once? No feuds. No criticism. A little bit of positivity in pop goes a long way!

I hope this post made someone smile.

My fellow B enthusiasts should already be familiar with the name Blake McGrath, one of the more memorable dancers that accompanied Britney on the Onyx Hotel Tour a few years ago.

If not, there are about a dozen other ways you may know about him: So You Think You Can Dance, DanceLife, or various performances with Madonna, Janet Jackson, and Beyonce.

This fall, the dancer will be taking front and center as an entertainer in his own right following the release of his upcoming debut, Time To Move.

Above is the first taste of music we’ve got from the release, a buzz single called “The Night (Only Place To Go).” As it turns out, Blake’s voice is pleasant and slinky; his sound a modern mash-up of R&B and dance–all of which could certainly squeeze in snugly with Top 40 radio at the moment.

To no one’s surprise in particular, the video features the artist doing what he does best, performing some truly delicious dance breaks and generally getting his sexy on with everyone around him. It’s a solid, sleek production, featuring some dark imagery (a bit “Circus”/”Me Against the Music” meets “LoveGame,” if you will), along with some not-so-subtle homosexual undertones. Rawrrr.

You can now hear samples of some of the other songs from his debut at his MySpace.

You didn’t think I’d forget, did you?

Last night, Janet Jackson performed at the American Idol finale.

Admittedly, it didn’t start out amazing. To start off, she had to stroll out to the insufferable glee-fest of contestants butchering “Again.” It was rough for me.

Then she busted out “Nothing,” which is just an absolutely tuneless, goes-nowhere ballad that I simply cannot force myself to get into. She sounded great (if that was actually live), but all I could think about was how fierce Miss Jackson was looking without any hair.

Then came the immortal words “Gimme a beat!” and all became right in the world.

Oh my God, that sashay down the stairs in the sheer-up-to-here body suit. I can’t even express it…She looked too good. Then there were some gyrations, and then the whole going down the line of dancers moment, and then came the “Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty” bit, and then she started yelling about the nasty food and then I got faint and don’t remember much of the rest to be quite honest with you.

Idol, legendary, iconic, amazing, etc.

I LOVE YOU, JANET.

“Un-Thinkable (I’m Ready)” is the latest single off of Alicia Keys‘ 2009 album The Element of Freedom, and it is very, very good.

Although she’s previously established herself as a belter on tracks like “Fallin’” and “If I Ain’t Got You,” Keys takes a few steps back from the mic with her new single, allowing a slow, sultry electronic groove to fill in the blanks and carry Keys’ soft coos. “You give me a feeling that I never felt before,” Keys half sings, half moans on her way to the chorus, “and I deserve it, I think I deserve it.”

Not that doesn’t sing here–of course, she does–but it’s the slow, slinky Janet-style crooning here that’s absolutely intoxicating.

The video for the song is equally well done, as the singer tackles the (still often controversial) topic of interracial dating from an alternating past/present perspective.

Perhaps what I like most about the video is that it does not include Drake, who happens to be featured on the background vocals of the song. The move would have drawn attention away from both the message and the singer herself.

Good choice!

THE NAZTI QUEEN IS BACK.

As you all well know, I am a MASSIVE fan of Khia “My Neck, My Back” Chambers and her delightfully potty-mouthed lyricism. I’ve eagerly awaited the return of the Queen of the South for some time now–and finally, she’s arrived to take her spot on the throne once again!

“Been A Bad Girl” is Khia’s official comeback, a slow stuttering trash fest complete with crude, breathy promises and nazzzty come-ons. “Pin me down, lock me up / I been a bad girl, and now it’s time to punish me,” she half-sings in the chorus, surely one of the gangstress’ more conservative offerings in recent memory.

According to The Prophet Blog, the track was apparently inspired by Janet Jackson, which is funny given their longstanding feud.*

*A feud that exists only within Khia’s head.

The thing about this new song is that it’s kind of genuinely hot in the un-ironic sense, and it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if J. Jackson actually did go and record a number like this. Wait, what am I saying?!

“Been A Bad Girl” precedes the release of the Thug Misses’ new double album (!), Khia Shamone/Motor Mouf, due out in the spring.

Look: I’m not an asshole. Not a heartless one anyway. If you can, I believe you should donate to the Haiti crisis, a disaster of the most immense and terrifying proportions.

That being said, so is the superstar remake of “We Are The World,” recorded as a charity single for Haiti.

I mean, for the love of GOD…to start off the track with Justin Beebop? The Jonas Brothers? Miley Cyrus?! What is this, J-14 and Friends?

I’m surprised K$$$ didn’t come swinging in with a bottle of jack to spit up a few lines before returning to her (RECORD LABEL MANUFACTURED AND ENDORSED) whimsical lifestyle of coke and excess.

Thanks be to Barbra Streisand for providing the hands-down LOLZ of the Century Award with her hilariously over-the-top emoting at the microphone (and uncanny resemblance to my 12th grade English teacher).

Shockingly, Celine manages to bottle up her crazy to a respectable degree for this video, though I suspect it has more to do with her lack of screen-time than her actual ability to subdue the inner dancing panda bear in her ear tempting her to break into the funky chicken at any moment.

As the song goes on it becomes even harder to swallow, as with the directorial decision to crop an awkward looking Janet Jackson next to her late brother as she sadly (and/or weirdly) mouths along to the chorus. Tacky? Why, that would be far too kind of a description.

Oh, and then the rapping. Dear God, the RAPPING.

Also, I love the fact that during Kanye West‘s 15 seconds of fame in the song, it looks as though Nicole Scherzinger keeps trying to sing her line, only to be repeatedly interrupted by the ego himself time and time again. LITERALLY PRICELESS.

Extra credit and love goes out to Pink, M.J. Blige and Jennifer Hudson for maintaining the natural class and dignity that this project really needed.

In the aftermath of this video, only one question remains: What would Michael say?

And now, something to look forward to:

Here’s Janet Jackson looking ferocious on the cover of Wonderland Magazine, which is due to hit shelves on February 5. The full feature will be made available on the website starting on February 2.

Click here to watch a video teaser of the inside photo spread…too excited to handle. New music can’t come soon enough!

It’s hard to believe that Britain’s massively successful, ruthlessly campy talent show X Factor could ever get gayer than it already is.

Tonight however, the rainbow-coloured piñata that is the X Factor has truly been burst wide open, as gay idols Janet Jackson and Mademoiselle Gaga took to the stage and/or personal bathtubs to perform their latest hit* singles, leaving traces of glitter in every nook and cranny of the studio, including Simon Cowell‘s quiff.

*Only one of the two is an actual hit.

Decked out in a suit and sneakers combo, Janet wiped the floor for a questionably live, unquestionably fantastic performance of 2001 hit “All For You” and current single, “Make Me.” Cue the “She’s over 40, and still dancing like she’s 20!” comments. Cue the “Madonna did it better!” responses. Cue in-fighting and caps lock-riddled flurries of falsified record sales numbers and chart positions for the next three days, etc. etc. etc.

Anyway, it was perfect. My only complaint about the performance: Too much panning out! She looked fierce as all hell when we were treated to a close-up, so why were the cameras busy swinging around the studio?

Meanwhile, Gaga and her Bath of Haus (Or is it Haus of Bath?) charmed the audience with a rousing rendition of her current masterpiece, “Bad Romance.”

Having already hooked the gays, the hipsters, and the frog enthusiasts (although PETA remains dubious), Gaga is now clearly making headway into capitalizing upon a new gaggle of fans: Manga lovers. Oh, what? Did you honestly think those geometric sleeves and metal goblin ears slip by us, Gaga? Someone’s got to put a stop to your shameless pandering.

After the show, Jackson and Gaga were briefly spotted dancing in their dressing rooms together before sitting down to trade teacups and share a large, heaping bowl of Spotted Dick.

I must confess: I didn’t catch the American Music Awards live. Therefore, I was unable to partake in the full experience, complete with all the gasps and finger pointing and shouts of “Oh girl, no you didn’t!” one would usually encounter when watching a trainwreck excuse of an awards program.

I did, however, just watch all of the live performances. And now, I shall rank them in an order that literally means nothing, yet uses numbers in a descending format because people seem to like that sort of thing.

8.

It’s so wonderful to watch Janet Jackson performing once more–and all the hits, no less! I adore the fact that she broke out the dance breakdown from her 1993 MTV VMA performance once more. It’s a shame the camera didn’t do more close-ups during the performance. She looked stunning at the end!

I have to say, though: Could her stylist not have found something a bit more flattering to wear than a glorified burlap sack? I mean, she’s a legend…let’s dress her up like one. Anyway, love love love to Janet.

7.

Okay, I’m sticking to my guns here: I didn’t hate it! At all. In fact, I thought Jennifer Lopez gave quite a good performance. Lots of dancing, lots of voguing, and a very Kylie-esque stiletto walk on an assortment of man servants. Sure, “Louboutins” isn’t about to blow up the radio (I’ve actually not heard such an obvious flop from miles away since…err, well, since “Do It Well.”)

Lola stuck those moves, and even when she didn’t, she still looked hot as hayllll trying.

6.

I just feel bad, mainly.

5.

First, the bad news: There’s nothing Rihanna can do to change the fact, while Rated R is an incredible album, it is NOT made for performing live.

And now, the semi-good: She’s trying everything she can to make it work. Even if the energy is low and the stage presence minimal at best, that Rihanna reign just won’t let up. This is still miles better than the lackluster performances from the Good Girl Gone Bad era, and since the music’s so morbid, you might not even be able to tell that she’s hardly working the stage. Excellent visuals, by the by!

PS: Every time she uses the “Mad House” sequence as her opener, I squee a little bit inside. It’s such a great mood builder!

4.

I hadn’t heard “Give it Up To Me” before this awards show, and I quite certainly don’t plan to hear it afterward. Shakira looks and sounds gorgeous (if that was even live…), but what difference does it make when you’re singing such a tuneless jam?

Fuck Timbaland and his recycled garbage.

3.

Wow, way to play it safe.

Kidding!

Where do I begin? No, really…with the flaming piano? The gas-mask wearing violin players? How about the Skeletor’s-home-for-the-holidays body suit? There’s so much to be said about the visuals Lady Gaga brings to the forefront of her performances that it’s often easy to overlook what a talented musician she actually is.

The “Bad Romance” segment was great fun, incorporating all the greatest monster mash moves from the music video and translating them gorgeously onto stage, while “Speechless” essentially delivered without flaw. In fact, Gaga’s live performance was arguably even more vulnerable and emotional than the album recording itself. Artist of the year (even if the AMA vote says otherwise) and performance of the night, ladies and gentlemen…’nough said.

2.

And here we have Adam Glambutt‘s “For Your Entertainment.”

Some writers have branded the performance as “offensive,” a criticism with which I wholeheartedly agree: I mean, who could honestly bear to hear that cringe-worthy screeching for a single moment longer?! It was HORRID! Aside from the fact that I was constantly reminded that “For Your Entertainment” plays like a bad RedOne reinterpretation of Sam Sparro‘s “Black & Gold,” Lambert’s uncontrollable yelping actually upset me to my very core.

No, I don’t give a shit about the fact that he dragged a few S&M lackeys around on the ground or made out with some rando-man in the background (so edgy and non-mainstream!), I just want my ears to stop bleeding.

1.

Sometimes, emotions can only be conveyed through .gifs found at ONTD. This is one of those times: