LITERALLY STOP BREATHING, STOP YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN.

You stuck waiting around for Jersey Shore to air to see Brit Brit’s 2011 VMA promo? NO NEED: It’s here…and it’s FUCKING AMAZING.

Prancing into a room full of Spears impersonators and giddy B-Girl enthusiasts, the Holy Spearit gets into the groove as Janet Jackson‘s “Rhythm Nation” and Madonna‘s “Everybody” play overhead (!!!). Watch as Godney giggles, plays around in a photo booth and passes by walls filled with iconic track titles, including Michael Jackson‘s “Billy Jean,” Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” and Britney’s own “…Baby One More Time.” And then, the major reveal (along with a super epic B pose…GIF please!!!):

8/28: A TRIBUTE TO BRITNEY SPEARS.

I AM ABSOLUTELY FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW!!!

Madonna, Michael, Janet…and now: Britney. Honoring the Holy Spearit like the MOTHERFUCKING ICON she is!

This commercial is a stan boy’s ultimate dream come true! I mean…the clipping of Britney’s head taped on top of Janet’s infamous Rolling Stone cover photo alone! I CAN’T TAKE IT, TAKE NO MORE.

THANK YOU, MTV. THANK YOU!!!

2011: YEAR OF THE SPEARS.

On Thursday night, Janet Jackson brought her international Number Ones: Up Close and Personal Tour to Mohegan Sun.

…Gimme a BEAT!

STOP YOUR LIFE AND CANCEL YOUR DINNER PLANS.

The Queen of Pop is ready to begin recording new music again.

Thanks to Hard Candy Music for posting the update, Madonna just added a “special statement” onto her official website:

“It’s official! I need to move. I need to sweat. I need to make new music! Music I can dance to. I’m on the look out for the maddest, sickest, most bad ass people to collaborate with. I’m just saying”…… — Madonna

Do you hear that? “Music I can dance to.” She’s been bitten by the bug again!

Please, oh pretty please Pop Gods, let this album come together in 2011. Imagine: Britney, Janet and Madonna all in one year? Be still my Pop Heart!

I’m feelin’ lyke dis:

Janet Jackson will grace the cover of the December 2010 / January 2011 issue of Instinct Magazine.

As you can see above, the diva’s pictured standing pretty in a bright red gown to commemorate World AIDS Day on December 1. Love!

A description of the feature, courtesy of the magazine’s Facebook:

In “The Quiet Power Of A Drama Queen,” Janet talks candidly with Instinct’s editor in chief Mike Wood about her pair of emotionally charged roles this year, adding “author” to her multi-hyphenate talents and also clues us in on how she sees music fitting in with her growing and critically acclaimed acting career. And of course, being only the fourth female in 13-years to get her own Instinct cover, Janet also opens up about that long-standing connection to the gay community, as well as her commitment to HIV/AIDS advocacy.

Can’t wait to read the feature–she’s always been a wonderful outspoken ally for the LGBT community.

Looking so lovely…go Miss Janet!

Girlicious. Let’s talk about them, yes?

For those who somehow don’t know (I’d be more surprised if you did know, to be fair), Girlicious are the legendary* Canadian girl group American girl group (EDIT: Not actually Canadian–their music is solely marketed there. Thanks, Muuser AJP!) formed by Pussycat Dolls founder Robin Antin during the smash hit* CW series, Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious.

There were originally four of them but now there are three, in what has surely become one of the greatest musical scandals of the 21st century* since Janet Jackson‘s Boobgate at the 2004 Superbowl and Britney‘s disastrous 2007 VMA performance.

The girls of Girlicious are responsible for hit after hit* of Top 20 singles (in Canada), including their debut single “Like Me,” “Stupid Shit,” and then nothing else.

Their latest single, “2 In The Morning,” recently shook up the charts* at #35, despite being nowhere as good as second single, “Maniac,” which bowed out at a formidable* #74.

Just two years after their iconic* self-titled debut dropped in stores, the girls are BACK with another record: Rebuilt.

And while I’m much too lazy to draft a proper review of the record, I’ve taken the liberty of snapping an EXCLUUSIVE SCREENSHOT of my iTunes library to see the stars I’ve allotted each song. This is a VERY RARE OPPORTUNITY* for Muusers to see the inner workings of MuuseTunes.

NOTE: There is a deluxe version with three new songs, but I’m lazy and haven’t gotten to all that yet. This is a review of the Standard Edition. Dealwidit.

And here we go:

Rebuilt is not very bad at all.

In fact, there are no less than three amazing songs (“Maniac,” “Grinding” and “What My Mama Don’t Know,” which kind of sounds like an Ashlee Simpson song in the chorus), as well as a fair share of nearly amazing ones, including the glitchy “Over You” and the v. good album ballad, “Unlearn Me,” which is obviously a 21st century update of Dannii Minogue‘s “Disremembrance.”

There are no actual stinkers on the record (“Wake Up” is a bit boring), though it’s a shame that “Hate Love” uses the same GarageBand drum loop as Rihanna‘s “Umbrella”–bit too close to home there.

Above all, Rebuilt is a good and fun ‘urban flavored’ dance-pop record, which makes it literally better than Messy Little Raindrops and Pink Friday.

That being said, Rebuilt is also very much the North American equivalent of Wordshaker by The Saturdays, which means I shall sit here idling my time and slowly twirling my thumbs until their Girls Aloud counterpart rolls around once more.

In conclusion: I miss the Pussycat Dolls.

*May or may not be slightly hyperbolic claim.

Rebuilt was released on November 22. (iTunes Canada)

GIMME A BEAT.

Janet Jackson just announced that she will be embarking on her “largest ever” world tour in 2011, in which she will “perform exclusively from my Number Ones.”

The thing is–she wants YOU to pick where the tour should go! Head to her official website to vote for your city NOW.

35 dates. 35 songs.

Janet’s one of my only idols I haven’t managed to catch live yet–my head is absolutely spinning.

On June 5, Rihanna‘s name graced headlines after she appeared onstage at the Rock in Rio concert in Madrid donning a fiery red, ultra-cropped new ‘do.

And although she was still in the midst of promoting her last album on The Last Girl on Earth Tour, it was clear that–with a small shock of red that would soon evolve into a bright, feathery mane–the LOUD era was born.

Read More…

YAY! Time for new Keri Hilson!

The video for “Pretty Girl Rock” has just debuted, Miss Keri Baby’s second single from her upcoming sophomore album, No Boys Allowed. (WATCH)

With a concept similar to the iconic Pepsi Generation commercial by Godney, the underrated songstress cycles through the decades to pay tribute to some of the finest leading ladies in the industry: Donna Summer, Janet Jackson, TLC–they’re all here. (And fabulously spot-on, no less!)

I absolutely adore this clip.

On a side note, that opening lyric (“My name is Keri, I’m so very / Fly, oh my, it’s a little bit scary”) has been stuck firmly on repeat in my brain for several hours now. Make it stop. MAKE IT STOP!!!

“Pretty Girl Rock” was released on October 12. (iTunes)