Get your tits out, everyone–it’s time for another round-up of the X Factor performances!

This week’s theme was “Guilty Pleasures,” which is basically a completely subjective, completely bullshit category that resulted in the judges inevitably squabbling over what defines a guilty pleasure and why certain artists were considered “guilty” in the first place. What a hoot.

More importantly, Cher Lloyd was officially AMAZING. Read on!

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OMFG It’s the 2010 MTV VMA’s–the glitz! the glamour! The meat purses!

Let’s cut the shit: The show was mostly boring. Taylor Swift sung a song about Kanye West, Kanye West sung a song about Kanye West, and no one gave a shit about Ke$ha.

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MuuMuse Approved Tracks for the Week of August 1, 2010

5. Siobhán Donaghy – Goldfish
On the train ride home from the city after having seen Robyn perform live, I needed a musical come-down in the worst of ways. Cue ex-Sugababes crooner Siobhán’s second studio effort, Ghosts–an insanely underrated offering of shimmering, ambient alt-pop. This one especially sticks out in my mind, what with all the teary-eyed, angelic crooning. Gorgeous.

4. Britney Spears – When I Say So
It was a very merry Britmas ’round these parts over the past week, but the leak of “When I Say So” was undoubtedly the greatest gift of all. Like a mix of every ingredient that made the Britney album so successful, BT grants Brit Brit a whole new level of sexy confidence on this power-pop cut. You’ll get some when Ms. Spears says so!

3. Ciara – Gimme That
I believe it is an implied truth that if any pop starlet demands something (“gimme”) in a track, it will undoubtedly be perfection. This is the hottest up-tempo cut I’ve heard from Cici since “Work” happened, but it may simply be one of her most infectious yet. GIMME THAT BASS!

2. Kristine Elezaj – Warpath
Ms. Elezaj may just getting started in the industry, but her upcoming single’s already generating some major heat. Be warned: You’ll need to appreciate ‘trash pop’ to get into this one. Oh, and anyone who throws shade at another chick by comparing her to Justin Bieber? Well, they’re more than alright in my book.

1. Natalia Kills – Mirrors
Well, someone had to do it: Kylie Minogue has finally been dethroned from her seemingly endless reign at Number One on MuuTunes. But if anyone should, it might as well be MuuMuse’s Most Anticipated Artist of 2010. Blindfolds, melted wax, and handcuffs–these are just the everyday playthings of Natalia Kills, as outlined in her killer, surging debut single. It’s dark, it’s delicious, and it craves to be played on repeat. Now shut up and turn the lights off.

This is Kristine Elezaj. She is an up-and-coming 24-year-old pop artist.

According to her official biography, Elezaj is “fierce, fun, edgy, and brave,” which I believe accounts for approximately 74.3% of the total ingredients necessary to concoct the Perfect Pop Star.

As far as comparisons are concerned, I’m seeing Holly Valance with a little bit more rhythm, hearing Heidi Montag with more talent (a bit of Alesha Dixon in moments as well), and recognizing Godney Spears and the Pussycat Dolls as the singer’s most obvious influences.

Kristine Elezaj has some promising songs and she’s made music videos with some fairly solid dancing (see above), but we’re here today to discuss “Warpath.”

“Warpath” is Elezaj’s upcoming single due out in September. It also happens to be amazing.

The song is what I would refer to as a proper ‘trash pop banger.’ It’s basically all about triflin’ men (“man whore”) and revenge and doing the daily chores (“taking out the trash”). There’s a chorus, but then there’s sort of a post-chorus chorus that’s arguably even better. There’s also some swearing here and there.

Now here’s a random list of amazing lyrics, sorted in order:

3. “You’re so dirty–should have known by now you’re a man whore.”
2. “You’re so dirty–should have known by now that this means WAR!”
1. “I saw that trick that you was with tonight / She was Justin Bieber‘s lookalike.”

There’s also a really genius Autotuned, “Disturbia”-esque “AH!” sound after each verse line which is brilliant.

And now, click above to hear an official snippet of “Warpath,” courtesy of Kristine Elezaj’s management. It happens to feature ALL THREE AMAZING LYRICS listed above.

See? It’s a stormer.

Kirstine Elezaj’s debut album will be released toward the end of 2010. For more information, check out her official website.

It’s that time again: The Grammy Awards, a time when pop dreams are crushed by a barrage of country stars winning awards chosen by really old, really privileged record executives that haven’t been in touch with the consumer market since 1983.

Since I didn’t really feel like doing a massive write-up about the show, I’ve taken the liberty of uploading the pictures of my notes taken during the broadcast. Because, hey…it’s not like this award means anything anymore. Take heed: The scribbling began shortly AFTER Gaga. I apologize in advance.

Really, it was pathetic: The guilt-tripping plea for music lovers to fund artists (FIND A NEW BUSINESS MODEL), the occasionally embarrassing presenters ushered in as “hot topic” celebrities (Adam Sandler), and most importantly, the endless series of performances from artists that haven’t been relevant for years. A vote for Bon Jovi? WHO. CARES. HONESTLY?! No wonder little Justin Bieber Bopper mistakenly read their name as “Beyonce” on screen. He’s got no idea who the fuck they are!

To pass the time (and bear the endless barrage of industry insiders wanking itself off), a couple of friends and I took to a short-and-sweet drinking game with rules that developed as the show went on: Take a swig for each Beyonce win (a happy victory!), one each time Miley Cyrus said “y’all” in her presentation, and most importantly (and often), each award upset. But by the time Taylor Swift‘s Fearless was announced for Album of the Year, there wasn’t even an opportunity to take a sip–everyone was already filing out the door in disgust.

Say what I will about her lofty claims and exhausting efforts to remain creative, the fact remains that the beginning of this new decade will be defined by no other pop icon than Lady Gaga. Honestly, it’s laughable to suggest that Taylor Swift released the year’s finest record. Did it break sales and chart records? Certainly! It was a glowing achievement for the very young, talented artist.

But The Fame did something far greater and far more important: It completely relaunched the brand of pop music.

Yes, Lady Gaga is tiring. She’s pretentious, snotty, and occasionally insincere. But whether or not you subscribe to the Gaga, it’s all but impossible to deny her influence. From reinventing celebrity fashion, to redefining the limits and boundaries of artistic expression on a mainstream level, to the very sound of the radio itself thanks to her RedOne-produced revolution of Euro-friendly beats, Gaga has ushered in a new era of pop. No, she isn’t original per se, but she did bring the focus of pop back to the things we’ve always loved about it: Glamour, performance, and escapism.

I am of the most confident belief that Taylor Swift’s win was nothing more than a product of industry pity over Kanye West‘s interference at the VMA Awards. She’s a sweet, sweet girl, but leave it to MTV to sort out their own guilt issues–not one of the most prestigious award institutions in the world.

Lady Gaga was robbed, but she already knew that was going to happen. Or did you not ‘get’ the meaning behind her opening performance?

Kids these days.

It seems everywhere you look, there’s another teen cropping up on the interwebz poised for global domination: Daisy Dares You, Justin Bieber, Sky Ferriera. Don’t they have anything more important to do, like go to prom or start learning to drive or something?

No matter.

Here comes Richard Jay, a sixteen-year-old singer hailing from the United Kingdom. Much like his DIY-pop predecessors, Richard Jay has made use of social media (whatever that is) to get his name out and start expanding his presence in the digital world. At the same time, he also happens to be a legitimate artist in his own right: “He writes all his own music, plays every instrument on his tracks, sings, records and produces it himself.” Talent. Nice!

As one may surmise from his Musical MySpace, Richard Jay’s music is just the right mix of bright, shimmering synthesizers and deep bass sound that both sounds gorgeous and refrains from drowning out the singer’s breathy, barely there crooning on top.

I, as we like to say in the industry, totally dig it.

Jay is due to record with Allie Gonino and Sky Ferreira later this year in Los Angeles.

To hear a taste of what the boy’s got to offer, click below to hear and download one of Jay’s delightfully lush tracks, “Today.”

DL: Richard Jay – Today