It’s that time of year again: A time during which I find myself to cuddle up to a nice, steaming brew of Earl Grey, boil up some bangers and mash, and allow myself to get downright British up in here. Why? Because it’s time for the the glamouriest (with a u!), glitziest award show of them all: The Brit Awards.

As if the show needed further proof of fierceness, Kylie Minogue has been announced as the official show host! Girls Aloud, Pet Shop Boys, and Kylie sharing one stage? SPOILER ALERT: There will be glitter.

Last night marked the announcement of the nominees for this year’s Brit Awards. Like last year, I’ve selected my picks to win for titters and giggles. And, like last year, the justification for my selection has largely whittled down to general attractiveness and general Ability To Make My Foot Tap. So get your kit off, you wanker, and check ‘em out!

Thanks to AceShowbiz for typing it all out!

British Male Solo Artist:

* Ian Brown
* James Morrison
* Paul Weller
* The Streets
* Will Young

Changes was, for the most part, all shades of brilliant. Seriously. Also: Cutie.

British Female Solo Artist:

* Adele
* Beth Rowley
* Duffy
* Estelle
* M.I.A.

Normally I’d opt for the child-bearer of the bunch, but I was thoroughly underwhelmed by the entire Kala project. I’m gunning for the one that revolutionized the waterproof mascara market.

British Breakthrough Act:

* Adele
* Duffy
* The Last Shadow Puppets
* Scouting for Girls
* The Ting Tings

I hear good things. Wouldn’t mind if it went to the throwback songstresses either, but please…Spare me the embarrassment of a Ting Tings win.

British Group:

* Coldplay
* Elbow
* Girls Aloud
* Radiohead
* Take That

Though I don’t foresee a win for this category, “Hope” seems to be the theme of this brave, new generation. As a result…YES. WE. CAN.

British Live Act:

* Coldplay
* Elbow
* Iron Maiden
* Scouting for Girls
* The Verve

Perhaps because they managed to squeeze in four tracks during their most recent Saturday Night Live stint, I’ve been supersaturated by their presence.

British Single:

* Adele’s “Chasing Pavement”
* Alexandra Burke’s “Hallelujah”
* Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida”
* Dizzee Rascal’s “Dance Wiv Me” featuring Harris and Chrome
* Duffy’s “Mercy”
* Estelle’s “American Boy” featuring Kanye West
* Girls Aloud’s “The Promise”
* Leona Lewis’ “Better in Time”
* Scouting for Girls’ “Heartbeat”
* 2008 “The X Factor” Finalists’ “Hero”

Again, I’m dubious about a win here. Anyone of ‘em could take it, couldn’t they? (I suppose that’s the reason they’re all nominated.) Look for Coldplay, Alexandra, Adele, or Estelle to take it. Perhaps if Cheryl would just flash a little nip…

…YES. WE. CAN.

MasterCard British Album:

* Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida”
* Duffy’s “Rockferry”
* Elbow’s “The Seldom Seen Kid”
* Radiohead’s “In Rainbows”
* The Ting Tings’ “We Started Nothing”

For “Reckoner,” mainly.

International Album:

* AC/DC’s “Black Ice”
* Fleet Foxes’ “Fleet Foxes”
* The Killers’ “Day & Age”
* Kings of Leon’s “Only by the Night”
* MGMT’s “Oracular Spectacular”

Because they remind me of Coldplay having a jam session with The Beach Boys in the woods.

International Male Solo Artist:

* Beck
* Neil Diamond
* Jay-Z
* Kanye West
* Seasick Steve

I’m hoping a win would finally boost West’s humble ego.

International Female Solo Artist:

* Beyonce Knowles
* Gabriella Cilmi
* Katy Perry
* Pink
* Santogold

Ooh, tough one! Anyone could take it…Except for Perry, of course. Pink was a disappointment this year, so she’s out. Gabriella? Too soon. Give her time. And while “Diva” has remained my go-to booty jam, Santogold ultimately delivered the most meaty set.

International Group:

* AC/DC
* Fleet Foxes
* The Killers
* Kings of Leon
* MGMT

Isn’t this just the International Album section? I’ll maintain my pick, so as to avoid thinking any harder. MGMT could win…There, I said it.

Critics’ Choice: Florence and The Machine

OK.

Outstanding Contribution to Music: Pet Shop Boys

What have you done for me lately? Love you, Boyz.

And that’s the list! Isn’t it simply ace?

Alas, now I’m feeling blue. Much like the Little Mermaid, I wanna be where the British are. I wanna see, wanna see them snoggin’…Walking around on those–What do you call ‘em? Oh – Trainers!

Wish I could be part of that world. Confound these blasted fins!

I need to bum a fag.

And now, Miss Kylie Minogue and the Direction She Should Have Gone In Post-Body Language:

DL: Kylie Minogue – Lovin’ You (Sharebee)

Hot damn! For anyone else who’s suffering chills from the ice cold stings of Kanye West‘s latest offerings from 808′s & Heartbreak, I’ve got just the right remix to heat up the floor a little bit.

California DJ Robin Da Hood‘s mix of “Welcome To Heartbreak” is a dizzying stormer of a track, incorporating rave-like flares of synth and deep electro stings sizzling enough to battle against Kanye’s freezing rhymes. High energy, high quality…J’adore!

DL: Kanye West – Welcome To Heartbreak (Robin Da Hood Remix)

Check out Robin Da Hood’s MySpace for his delicious mix of Kanye’s “Heartless,” another electro-fied sensation.

Sam Spiegel (perhaps better known as Squeak E. Clean) is, as we all may soon come to realize, the devil. One needs only briefly look over the exhaustive list of indie darlings and pop culture icons (including Karen O, Nina Persson, Lovefoxxx, Tom Waits, and Ghostface Killah) set to lay down their vocals upon his killer debut album, The Spirit of Apollo, in February 2009 to know that for sure. The only explanation of this impossible gathering of talent is dark magick, leading to what will surely become a downward spiral of hellfire and damnation upon the Earth, at last leading us all unto the End Of Days.

But until that day, we’ve got one new track from the release called “Gifted,” which benefits from the assistance of Kanye West on the first verse, Santogold on the second, and Lykke Li in the choruses. A hipster’s wet dream? You bet your sweet girly ass jeans it is. Yet with its uber-slick synthesized production and bouncy, bubbly bass, the Apocalypse has never sounded so sweet.

DL: N.A.S.A. – Gifted ft. Kanye West, Santogold, and Lykke Li

After the under-performance of arrogant rap star Kanye West‘s divalicious single “Flashing Lights,” the official promotional video has been re-shot in a completely new direction, with a more mainstream vision. While the second edit most definitely goes a long with the theme of the song better, there is something about the eerie and experimental original video that flashed bigger and brighter than this one. There are also current unconfirmed reports that the new edit of “Flashing Lights” acts as a prologue to the original version. Even though both videos are drastically different, they both still have the Kanye originality that no one could top.

Which do you prefer????? Drop a comment.

New Version

Original Version

Oh, hey there, it’s the new video for the six month old single “Everybody Nose” from N.E.R.D.! It’s trashy, flashy, and completely void of any real entertainment value–much like the song it corresponds to. Sure, it features cameos by Lindsay Lohan, Cory Kennedy, Samantha Ronson, and Kanye West. However, it does nothing for me at all.

What is this exactly? A pro-cocaine after school special? I don’t get it, but I know that it’s nothing special. Another video that merely glamorizes the overly self-indulgent hipster socialite scene? NEXT.

Now that I have your attention.

This is Christian George. He wears many hats (dancer, choreographer, actor). Clothing? Not as much of a fan. I’ll allow for it. The man’s worked with Britney and Justin as a dancer, and Kanye as a stylist, and he seems to have a career path paved just about everywhere in entertainment. The next step? Conquering the dancefloor. Yep, time to go pop. I recently got a hold of his first single, “Strangers.” The introduction was a little iffy, but once the song kicked in, I got the picture. The song is a drippy up-tempo full of intergalactic beats and a nice, seductive vocal offering. It’s fulfilling, and perfect for the summer heat rolling around the corner. And hey, sometimes we could all use a mindless sex romp now and then. Am I right or am I right?

As for a MuuMuse Excluusive, here’s Christian’s new single, “Strangers” streaming in full.

For more, click here to visit Christian’s MySpace.

The 2008 Brit Awards were hosted tonight, and the full list of winners can be found below. For reference, my original predictions/desires were listed at this post. Comparing the list of actual winners to my predictions, I’ve managed the astonishing total of one correct prediction out of the entire lot.

Well I never said I was an award show expert, now did I? Turns out the Brits like to choose the artists I prefer over the ones that are assumed to win. That’s why I think I was a Brit in a past life.

Despite all this, it was a great success for pop tonight, with Kylie, Mika, Adele, and Kate taking home a Brit and performances from Kylie, Mika, and Rihanna. The only letdown was the Girls Aloud loss, though it was to a formidable opponent, The Arctic Monkeys. The nod itself proved that the girls aren’t entirely unrecognized, and therefore made the night regardless. Now if only the Grammy’s were this fun, maybe people would tune in once in a while.

:: Best British Live Act – Take That

:: Critics’ Choice award – Adele

:: Best British Breakthrough Act – Mika

:: Best Internation Male Solo Artist – Kanye West

:: Best British Male Solo Artist – Mark Ronson

:: Best International Female Solo Artist – Kylie Minogue

:: Best International Group – Foo Fighters

:: Best British Female – Kate Nash

:: Best International Album – Foo Fighters for Echoes Silence Patience Grace

:: Best British Group – Arctic Monkeys

:: Best British Album – Arctic Monkeys for Favourite Worst Nightmare

:: Best British Single – Take That for Shine

:: Outstanding Contribution to Music – Sir Paul McCartney.

Credit: Metro.co.uk

Don’t call the search crews out just yet everyone, I have returned. I’ve moved back into my college dorm. Naturally, I’m making the most out of my first day back by staying locked in my cold, dark room, browsing the music blogs and checking the gossip forums for any new juicy tidbits.

I’m just kidding. I have the lights on.

So what have I come up with in my Internet journey? Not much. The biggest news is that Christina Aguilera pushed out a Max Liron Bratman from her Lady Marmalade yesterday. Yes, I know it’s the name of her child. But doesn’t it sound more like a little Kosher beef weiner? The name “Max” stands for “greatest” in Hebrew, and “Liron,” for “my song.” Being the good Jewish boy that I am, I had absolutely no guess as to the meaning of either of those words. Instead, I relied upon Perez‘s inevitably incorrect translation. Put them together, and Max Liron means “my greatest song.” I won’t dispute that; I can’t think of a Christina Aguilera song that would be considered great. Or good. Or tolerable. I kid. A little. Congratulations!

OH, and I found the new single by U.K. hip-hop artist, Estelle, featuring modest rapper, Kanye West. Bouncing merrily around a minimal, buzzing electro-beat, Estelle goes simply goo-goo about the lavish American lifestyle. What can I say? We’re just an elitist bunch of fancy pants. Most times during the song, I think that Kanye and Estelle are just engaging in a conversation, and the microphone just happened to be recording at the time. Give it a go here:

DL: Estelle ft. Kanye West – American Boy

That’s kind of it. There were some pictures of celebrities looking awful and music that didn’t matter. Tomorrow is the big snowstorm here in the Northeast, so I’ll inevitably be forced to update in nauseating frequency.

Anytits, I bought a crisp 12″ vinyl copy of Barbra Streisand’s soundtrack to “Yentl” for a mere 99 cents at the local Goodwill, and I’m simply bursting with enthusiasm to hide it in the pillows of unsuspecting friends returning back to campus.

And you, what do you think?