I guess I missed the memo, but apparently the members of Basement Jaxx are set to release an album-turned-”Who’s Who of Cool” compendium in just a few short weeks from now.

With collaborations from Kelis to Sam Sparro to Yoko Ono, the Jaxx’s fifth studio effort Scars (due out on September 21 on XL Recordings) looks to be quite the floor filler. Tentatively speaking, of course.

And now for the awe-inspiring track listing:

1. Scars ft. Kelis, Maleka & Chipmunk
2. Raindrops
3. She’s No Good ft. Eli “Paperboy” Reed
4. Saga ft. Santigold
5. Feelings Gone ft. Sam Sparro
6. My Turn ft. Lightspeed Champion
7. A Possibility ft. Amp Fiddler
8. Twerk ft. Yo Majesty
9. Day of The Sunflowers (We March On) ft. Yoko Ono
10. What’s A Girl Gotta Do ? ft. Paloma Faith
11. Stay Close ft. Lisa Kekaula
12. D.I.S.tractionz ft. Jose Hendrix
13. Gimme Somethin’ True ft. Jose James

Purchase Basement Jaxx Music on iTunes | MySpace | Official Website

Well, this review ought to divide my readers.

Electrik Red are like the bitter castoffs booted from a pre-fame Destiny’s Child (one of them is named Binkie!) that decided to team up, have a massive orgy with The-Dream, and then cook up the most ghettolicious, glorious heap of scrap tracks from Ciara‘s latest album and called it How To Be A Lady: Volume 1.

Now, if there’s anything that I love in this world, it’s a girl with a potty mouth. Make that four girls with potty mouths! I’m talking ’bout some trash-talkin’, y’all-don’t-know-me type of shit–that’s why I listen to Khia for motivation and spiritual guidance.

Really then, it will be no surprise for anyone to learn that within the first few seconds of the opening track off of the Reds’ debut that I quickly learned to love: “And I’m the shit wit the shit shawty / I’m the shit wit the shit / I know what I’m doin’ with this shit / ‘Cause I’m the shit with this shit, shawty.” Concise, yet mind-blowing. Yes… ’twas love at first “Muah.”

Later on, my emotions were only further confirmed with the delicious bluntness of “W.F.Y.”, the squeaky, “Maneater”-friendly stomps of “Kill Bill,” and “P Is For Power,” the defiant “Single Ladies” addendum that plays like the schoolyard chant I never had growing up: “You ain’t gettin’ no P…nope, nope.” Any guesses on what it stands for? Me either.

But even if the uptempos aren’t your thing, the slow jams just may be. Take for instance the supple, grind-ready “9 To 5″ that clocks in just around the proper baby-making BPM. You’ll want to watch for some small glimmers of the Janet Jackson of yesteryear that one, as well as within the irresistibly catchy single, “So Good.”

Lets keep it real here: If you’re looking for originality, talent, or anything of any substantial cultural or musical value, this may not in fact be your cup of bubbly. But if you’re the type of person who finds solace in Kelis‘ “Fuck Them Bitches,” Ciara‘s “G Is For Girl (A-Z),” or anything off of Danity Kane‘s (RIP) last two albums, you’re going to have some fun.

DL: Electrik Red – W.F.Y.

Click below to hear more from Electrik Red.

I’ve also held a soft spot in my heart for Kelis: She’s fresh, ever evolving, and the creative energy seems to flow from her without ever trying too hard. Plus, she is responsible for a little song called “Fuck Them Bitches,” which is in many ways the song I’d like played as I stroll into my high school reunion.

…Not that I’d actually go.

After the release of her 2007 album, Kelis Was Here and a slapped together Greatest Hits package called The Hits in March of ’08, we’d heard little about Kelis’ next move in music.

So what’s she been doing since then? Why, graduating from culinary school obviously! You can see those skills being put to the test live on her StickAm page, where she hosts a cooking show. She’s also been busy getting ready to have a baby boy with Nas. Let us pray he never listens to Mommy and Daddy’s collaboration, “Blindfold Me.”

As for the music, get pumped: Kelis plans to release not one, but two new albums this year! During a live video chat on StickAm, Kelis revealed that she was trying for a spring or summer single release.

Thanks to Kelis’ main fan site UltimateKelis, we’ve also recently learned that the singer’s been doing work with Diplo–two of which he previewed on a web radio show with Lil’ Jon! Head over to UltimateKelis to listen to the snippets (which are unsurprisingly delicious).

Plus, she’s been dropping some INSANE producer names on her Twitter that she’s been recording with, including Boyz Noize, Crookers, and Dave Guetta.

All the ingredients to one hell of a hipster-lectro crunchy hip-hop sensation of an album. Cannot wait!

Two epic concerts officially kicked off this weekend…that of the electro queen Miss Kylie Minogue, and that of the Girls Aloud. Since I didn’t go to either one, I’m posting some pictures and footage from either tour to give off the illusion that I did while crying at the keyboard.

I’ve also added the story beneath the “read more,” so as not to break the hearts of spoiler-free seeking concert goers.

First off was the sensational Aloud’s Tangled Up Tour on May 3rd in Belfast.

And here’s footage of the concert’s opening!

Looks rather exciting, though I think they would do better lingering in the air for a shorter amount of time. It must get a bit awkward just hanging there trying to keep your balance with your fans just watching open-mouthed below for about a minute or so.

Check out the set list!

* Video Intro / Costumes: Black, blue and white PVC outfits

01. Sexy! No No No…
02. Girl Overboard
03. Sound of the Underground
04. Close to Love

* Costume change: Black cabaret outfits

05. Can’t Speak French
06. Love Machine
07. Black Jacks
08. Biology

* Costume change: Multicoloured dresses

09. Whole Lotta History
10. With Every Heartbeat (Robyn cover)
11. I’ll Stand By You

* Costume change: Gold dresses

12. Fling
13. Push It (Salt N Pepa cover)
14. Wake Me Up
15. Walk This Way
16. Control of the Knife/Trick Me (Kelis cover)
17. Jump
18. Call The Shots

* Costume change: Neon lycra leotards

19. Something Kinda Ooooh

Robyn? Kelis?! SALT N PEPA?!? WHY, GOD, WHY? Why make a boy miss Nadine and Co. sassing around singing “Push It”?! I’m pissed.

Then we have the unstoppable Ms. Minogue with the KylieX2008 Tour, which opened in Paris last night.

Looking rather dazzling in front of that electro-wall. I heard someone compare the tour to Utada Hikaru‘s Utada United Tour, and I can see the resemblance. Actually, that chair-thing that Kylie comes down is awfully similar to Utada’s “You Make Me Want To Be A Man” contraption.

But I’m never the one to discuss artists sampling artists. It’s boring and goes nowhere…like a Lisa Scott-Lee song. Therefore, I’m posting up the opening video instead! I thought the video opening was massively anxiety build-up, though her actual appearance was ever so slightly underwhelming. That being said, I’m sure I’d be wetting myself if I were experiencing this in the first person.

EDIT: Upon second viewing, I peed myself. Notice: Not underwhelming.

What’s more though is the set list. How many unreleased songs are there here? Exciting! Leak the studio versions!

Act 1: Xlectro Static

* Speakerphone
* Can’t Get You Out Of My Head (Greg Kurstin Remix) (with excerpts of “Boombox”, an unreleased song from Body Language)
* Ruffle My Feathers (an unreleased song from X)
* In Your Eyes

Act 2: Cheer Squad

* Heart Beat Rock
* Wow
* Shocked (with excerpts of “Lose Control”, an unreleased song from X)

Act 3: Xposed

* Like A Drug
* Slow (with excerpts of “Free” from Impossible Princess)
* The One
* 2 Hearts

Act 4: Black versus White

* On A Night Like This
* Kids
* Step Back In Time
* In My Arms
* Love at First Sight

Act 5: Naughty Manga Girl

* Sometime Samurai (Video Projection)
* Come Into My World (Fischerspooner Mix)
* Nu-di-ty
* Sensitized

Act 6: Starry Nights

* Flower (an unreleased song from X)
* I Believe in You (Ballad Version)
* Cosmic

Act 7: Beach Party

* Loveboat (from Light Years)
* Copacabana
* That’s Why They Write Love Song (an unreleased song written by Steve Anderson)
* Spinning Around

Encore

* No More Rain
* All I See (Acoustic Version)

More clips coming in the near future I imagine, so stay tuned!

Sources: ONTD, Wikipedia, Girls Aloud World