God, I love me some Koda Kumi!

The oft-controversial princess is not only responsible for countless J-Pop gems, but some of the most gasp-inducing moments I’ve ever witnessed in a Japanese music video–like this from “D.D.D”, or this from “Shake It.” She filthy.

After unleashing her noisy electro-banger “POP DIVA” earlier this year (plus two other singles, “4 Times” and “Ai wo Tomenaide”) Kumi’s now coming out with her 52nd single (!!!) since her 2002 debut: “Love Me Back,” a super catchy uptempo with some swinging ’60′s spy flick influences. (And you thought RiRi pumped out singles quickly!)

To properly play the part in the song’s accompanying clip, Kuu-chan slipped into something a bit more…her speed (read: a super slutty cop outfit and a super slutty nurse outfit). Prepare for some fierce bump ‘n’ grinding, suggestive night stick swinging, and a whole lot of prisoner lust. Lady Gaga could quite literally never!

Oh, and if lap-dances delivered by Kumi are really the standard protocol for an interrogation in Japan, something tells me the country’s about to experience a major crime spree.

DIAMONDS AND SAPPHIRES AND YOU…OH MY!

“Love Me Back” was released on November 29. (iTunes Japan)

It’s been a long time coming (and something that’ll make my K-pop Krazy friend Prophet Blog wet himself with delight), but it’s time I finally acknowledged the wonder and splendor of the force known as Girls’ Generation.

Now, I myself am more of a J-Pop connoisseur than K-Pop girl group guru (I go hard for Utada Hikaru, Namie Amuro, Koda Kumi and Ayumi Hamasaki in particular), but it’s all but impossible not to notice the extraordinary influence of Korean girl groups making their way overseas.

Girls’ Generation–sometimes referred to as SNSD (an acronym based on their Korean name)–is by far one of South Korea’s most popular acts. After their debut back in 2007, the nonet (that’s nine members) has gone on to win countless awards and smash dozens of records in both Korea and Japan, most notably for their 2009 international smash hit “Gee,” the Ke$ha-penned “Run Devil Run,” as well as their #1 Japanese hit from earlier this year, “Mr. Taxi.”

(By the way: Think a nine member group is crazy? Check out AKB48, a J-Pop group consisting of 59 members to date. Go ahead. Just try and remember their names.)

Now, quite excitingly, Girls’ Generation are set to make their official mark stateside (well, worldwide really) with the release of their third studio album The Boys, due to hit iTunes on October 19, followed by a US single release via Interscope Records sometime in November.

“The Boys” is the album’s lead single, which was recorded in both Korean and English. Today, the full song hit iTunes and the video has premiered (in both languages) and…well, it’s absolutely incredible. (To be fair: J-Pop and K-Pop videos usually slay Western videos. This is certainly no exception.)

Featuring some truly ferocious choreography, the ladies work it out in some sort of icy snow palace while rocking sky-high stilettos and killer haute couture threads. For fans of girl groups of any kind, the video relentlessly delivers everything that a good girl group video should: Fierce poses, glamorous looks, glossy styling…it’s everything!

And as for the song itself? Crafted by Teddy Riley (Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga), “The Boys” is a solid modern R&B/dance-pop effort with some attitude–a welcome change from the all-too-grating sugary-sweet sound that K-Pop girl groups tend to churn out on the regular. The chorus is an instant ear-worm. Plus, for those easily offenced by a foreign tongue hitting their ears, their accents aren’t even that strong at all–a key factor in helping them to crossover to the West.

As an English debut, “The Boys” is a pretty massive introduction for the group. I’m incredibly excited to see what the international response is to Girls’ Generation–especially in America. Yay for global pop recognition!

“The Boys” was released on October 19. (iTunes)

MuuMuse Approved Tracks for the Week of January 23, 2011

5. Koda Kumi – POP DIVA
J-Pop temptress Koda Kumi’s gone bolder than ever on her 49th single! “POP DIVA” is a brag-filled outburst of pounding beats and wild screeches that rides atop a stinging bass-line similar to the Far East Movement’s “Like A G6.” It’s noisy, it’s erratic–but ultimately, it’s utterly Kumi. (LISTEN)

4. Adam Tyler – I Won’t Let You Go
Up-and-coming L.A. musician Adam Tyler returns with his second single–a gorgeous, heartbreaking electro-pop scorcher that builds and builds with intensity as the song progresses. One to watch in 2011! (LISTEN)

3. Jennifer Lopez – On The Floor (feat. Pitbull)
Kicking off her latest stint as a judge on American Idol’s tenth season, J-Lo premiered the first single from her upcoming album, LOVE?, to radio this week. The spicy songstress enlisted Gaga hit-maker RedOne to produce this floor filler, which capitalizes on all the popular club sounds of late, including the European pulsations of Yolanda Be Cool’s “We No Speako Americano” and Edward Maya’s “Stereo Love.” It’s no “Waiting For Tonight,” but it’s still a proper call to arms. Take it on the floor! (LISTEN)

2. Mya – Fabulous Life
The time is now! Mya seizes the day in this glittery, gleeful electro-pop confection co-produced by J-Pop mastermind Jeff Miyahara and Swedish sensation, Fredro. While this pop treat may only be released in Japan, “Fabulous Life” packs more than enough sparkle and shines to provide universal appeal. (LISTEN)

1. Neon Hitch – Get Over U
You haven’t even debuted yet, and you’re already making me cry at the discotheque? Of all the bad girls, you’re badder than most, Neon Hitch. With sad, stomping synthesizers ourtesy of Benny Blanco and a sorrowful vocal melody contributed by co-writer Sia, “Get Over U” plays like a 2011 continuation of Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own,” proving that the upcoming debut by this whimsical pop gypsy is definitely worth waiting for. (LISTEN)

Last night, I asked (on Twitter) what people would like to see featured on MuuMuse.

One of the things I heard more often (aside from “more cock shots”–very helpful) was “MOAH J-POP MUUSIX, PLEHZ!”, so now, I shall deliver such things from one of my favorite J-Pop vixens!

On February 2, Koda Kumi will be releasing her 49th single (I know, insane…Asian pop stars put our silly Western girls to shame on the regular), entitled “POP DIVA.”

Aided by the same chord progression as Britney‘s “Gimme More” and a stinging bass beat a la Far East Movement‘s “Like A G6,” “POP DIVA” is Kumi’s hottest, noisiest dance affair since 2007′s “BUT.” (If you haven’t, watch/listen to this now. STILL AMAZING.) I’m also detecting a touch of Ke$ha influence–and by that, I mean I could definitely hear this one playing while I upchuck some glitter in the back of a dingy gay bar.

“I’m the pop diva. Most beautiful, powerful, and talented girl on the planet. Are you ready for me? Let’s go!” Kumi-chan purrs off the top of the track. And if you don’t believe those words, just check out the cover art above. See? It’s in print! Therefore, it is FACT.

Today, Avex uploaded a preview of the song’s music video, which–like the song–seems simultaneously shit and amazing. I’m not sure what’s going on, except that there’s some seriously hot librarian-turned-spy action happening.

In conclusion: “POP DIVA” is noisy, overly Auto-Tuned and seriously disjointed, but also kind of brilliant in places. That’s just the way good pop works, you know?

POP, POP, POP DIVA! Get it, Kuu.

“Pop Diva” will be released on February 2. (YesAsia)

Who says you can’t teach an old J-Pop superstar new tricks?

“SPARKLE” is the second A-side from Ayumi Hamasaki‘s forty fifth single, “RULE/SPARKLE.” And, though I never thought I’d find myself blogging these words: Koda Kumi–watch yourself.

While translations are still funneling in as we speak, the general gist of the lyrics is something we’ve not seen from Hamasaki since the days of “My Name’s WOMEN”:

“If you do it only half way, then it doesn’t tell me anything /
If you don’t try to touch, then I don’t understand.”

That’s right, ladies–It’s time for a little synth-ified reinterpretation of a whip cracking, booty smacking Ayumi Hamasaki empowerment jam. Moaning electro beats, bubbling house riffs, and a Junkie XL-worthy guitar strum coursing throughout…Now who would think I’d ever be referencing those kinds of sounds for an Ayu review?!

But as we know, Ayumi Hamasaki is always evolving, and this release may simply be a sign of what’s to come.

Some might even call it…The next level.

And in fact, they will: NEXT LEVEL is the name of Ayumi Hamasaki’s 10th studio release, a 13-track LP due on March 25. As is custom in the world of J-Pop, the album will be released in a buttload of formats; the most jam-packed of the set being the double CD+DVD featuring a live CD from “PREMIUM COUNTDOWN LIVE 2008-2009” and a DVD of six music videos.

Best of all, the release of NEXT LEVEL will also be packaged in a USB stick format, as seen below.

As a shameless whore for all things attractively packaged and branded, I can safely conclude that I absolutely MUST HAVE IT.

DL: Ayumi Hamasaki – SPARKLE (Sharebee)

Click here to pre-order “RULE/SPARKLE.”

Click above to hear more from Ayumi Hamasaki…And yes, she’s now on US iTunes!

At the age of 25, Koda Kumi is set to release her fourth (count them, four) greatest hits album according to her fan club. BEST～third trial～, will be released on Dec. 17th, only eight years after Kumi’s debut.

Don’t be fooled by the title, non-Kumi enthusiasts…It’s the fourth compilation. Last year, Avex Records released the astonishingly unnecessary BEST～Bounce & Lovers～, a collection of seemingly random up-tempos and ballads from her back catalog. Most likely, this is an effort to revitalize Kumi’s scandalized public image, allowing us all to remember the better, more wholesome times…Like this! Seriously though, it’s been one studio album since the last greatest hits. Who do they think she is, Ayumi?

Oh, J-Pop stars…You manage to stay on top for even a year, you’ll still have four Greatest Hits collections waiting for you on the way out.

———————

On a side note, Grace Jones‘ album has finally made its way to my inbox…Hold on tight.

Kumi Koda has had a tough year. Ever since a few choice words uttered during a radio show program that unnecessarily pissed off the greater half of Japan (which were fairly innocuous in my opinion), she hasn’t been able to gather the momentum once maintained during the height of her fame for the past three years. But just when you thought she’d be down for the count…Think again! Kumi’s back, and she’s come swinging back into her usual sexy fashion, proving there’s still one audience willing to overcome her dish on the amniotic sac: The homosexuals!

That’s right–Proving to be our most mainstream haggy heroine, Kumi is no stranger to implementing shades of homoeroticism within her work, as evidenced by her the controversial “Ima Sugu Hoshii” clip. For her latest video for “TABOO, a rather fantastic Timbaland clone full of throbbing, noisy synths, Kumi makes her way into the middle of a trendy gay bar. Skin-tight clothing, luscious lips, and plenty of suggestive bend-and-snaps all add up to yet another fabulously over-the-top raunch fest ripe for adding to the Kumi videography. Get it, girl.

Sure looks like someone’s toned down their game. Hot off the not-so-recent scandal when Koda Kumi accused older women’s fluid of being dirty and being scorned across Japan, she’s finally released the video for one of her four summer singles within Moon. It’s the big one–the collabo with Fergie Ferg, herself, called “That Ain’t Cool.” What to expect? A lot of stale movement, some severe PVC catsuitage by her Fergness, and a whole lot of general nothingness. You can tell this was a big budget production.

Oh, and the song is in English. Not shocking from the Fergie standpoint, but for Kumi, that’s never really happened. Well, there was that God awful rendition of “A Whole New World,” but I like to pretend that never happened. Or that “I Feel Love” cover. Oof. Anyway, it’s not the worst thing I’ve heard in my life, and I would argue that she’s got a better grasp of the language than her contemporaries (see every English song Ayumi’s ever attempted), but it still sounds incredibly unpolished. It also doesn’t help that the song is, for a majority of the time, awful, and by the end of the song even the Queen of Humps can do nothing to save this mid-tempo stinker from sinking full speed.