It’s Harajuku Barbie time!

First up is the graphic novel-inspired video debut for “Roger That,” the Young Money collaboration track featuring Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne, and Tyga. It’s a shame that so much of her verse was censored, but still…I’ll take it.

Note the (all-too-brief) glimpses of Minaj wearing Madge in the video. Brilliant, love her so much, etc. etc.

Secondly, in an interview with Rap-Up, Minaj revealed that her debut single will be a Sean Garrett produced track called “Massive Attack.” The whispers through the e-grapevine suggest that the song will premiere sometime in the next week.

Roger dat! Didja copy that, cuh cuh-copycat?!

It’s a familiar situation: The songwriter seeking to transition to the stage.

For some artists, it’s worked. For others, not so much: While it seems Lady Gaga has all but eclipsed the songwriter title with her newly found icon status, other incredibly talented heavyweights, including Cathy Dennis (“Toxic,” “Can’t Get You Out of My Head”) and Linda Perry (“Get The Party Started,” “What You Waiting For?”) have garnered a moderate, niche popularity that, while enough to establish a devoted following, ultimately pales in comparison to the success enjoyed by the superstar singers of some of their greatest works.

It’s hard to say exactly where Keri Hilson will wind up along that scale. As one of today’s leading modern pop songwriters, she’s already proven herself as an accomplished talent, with credits on such radio smashes as Britney‘s “Gimme More,” Omarion‘s “Ice Box” and Timbaland‘s “The Way I Are.”

Yet her solo career singles, including “Energy” and “Knock You Down” have largely wavered in popularity. Of all the singles off of In A Perfect World…, the most successful of them all happen to sport a “featuring” spot from the likes of Kanye West, Lil’ Wayne and other mega-wattage superstars, ultimately begging the question: Can Keri carry herself as an artist in her own right?

“I Like” is Keri Hilson’s latest release, a German-only single penned by David Jost (Tokio Hotel) and Robin Grubert released on December 11. The song was selected as the theme song for the German film, Zweiohrküken, and has since peaked at #1 on the German Music Charts.

Though “I Like” seems destined to slip past the world’s radar, the smooth, slinky electro-tinged number happens to be one of Hilson’s finest solo tracks–and ironically, one which she had almost nothing to do with. According to an interview with songwriter David Jost, Hilson was selected because he thought she would supply “the perfect voice” for the track.

In a perfect world, this song would be rocketing up the radio charts right now, but just because the rest of the public hasn’t caught on to this sublime track doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t.

I like, I like…I love.

One just wasn’t enough.

A little while after posting my initial “Most Anticipated” list for 2010 (read: approximately three seconds), I realized that I had left out far too many important upcoming releases that merit an equal amount of attention.

Let’s keep it going with another installment then!

Christina Aguilera, Bionic (Fourth studio album)

What it is: From WWII to the post-apocalypse, Christina’s upcoming reinvention in sight and sound is poised to raise the bar in pop next year.
Expected shelf date: March 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “You Lost Me,” “Monday Morning”
Production by: Goldfrapp, Ladytron, Sia, Le Tigre, M.I.A, Sam Endicott, Diplo & Switch, Linda Perry, Tricky Stewart
What we know: Loads. Every one of the producers and writers for the new album has been absolutely raving about their work with Christina. Tricky Stewart told Vibe that “She did things that she’s never necessarily heard on the radio.” Ladytron cannot seem to sing higher praises of Christina’s taste in music and talent in the studio. Sia’s called the songs they’ve wrote together “classical music beautiful” and “sad and awesome.” As far as what I personally know from my sources (such a cock tease!), it’s all sounding quite good.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: A shocking, next-level FutureSound set to knock Gaga down a peg or two.

Goldfrapp, Head First (Fifth studio album)

What it is: The new dawn of another era in Goldfrapp.
Expected shelf date: March 23, 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “Rocket”
Production by: Goldfrapp
What we know: From their official site, courtesy of Alison: “this album is very different from the last, but i hope you enjoy it just as much for different reasons. i’m really looking forward to playing the new songs live as a lot of them are so up and jubilant. even the revenge songs are kind of joyous! its gonna be a blast!”
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Whatever they’ve got to offer. Who dislikes any of the Goldfrapp albums, honestly?

Sia, We Are Born (Fifth studio album)

What it is: The spunky follow-up to 2008′s Some People Have Real Problems, helmed by the producer behind Lily Allen‘s fabulous It’s Not Me, It’s You.
Expected shelf date: April 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “You’ve Changed,” “Clap Your Hands”
Production by: Greg Kurstin
What we know: The album is basically complete, and a new single will be released in the first quarter of 2010. It’s also full of happy, upbeat sounds a la “You’ve Changed,” which you can download at MuuMuse and “Clap Your Hands,” which has been performed live during her Australian tour.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: A brighter, poppier Sia with more hooks and melodies than ever before.

Nicki Minaj, TBA (Debut album)

What it is: After creating a handful of mixtapes and lending verses on literally everyone’s songs, Minaj will finally roll out her debut as one of the most promising female rappers since Lil’ Kim.
Expected shelf date: 1Q 2010.
Confirmed tracks: None.
Production by: Unknown.
What we know: It will be bossy, braggy, and full of Harajuku Barbie style. As the only female rapper on Young Money Entertainment, it will undoubtedly feature everyone from Drake to Lil’ Wayne.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: “Itty Bitty Piggy,” as well as more references to signing boobs and ‘poppin’ that pussy on his Suzuki so crazy kooky in them Daisy Dukies.

Janet Jackson, TBA (Eleventh studio album)

What it is: Returning to her original label A&M Records, Janet’s follow-up to 2008′s Discipline is a top priority release to send Jackson back to the top of the charts.
Expected shelf date: 2Q 2010.
Confirmed tracks: None yet, aside from the possible inclusion of “Make Me.”
Production by: According to the NY Daily News, Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins.
What we know: During her interview with Robin Roberts for ABC, Janet spoke a bit about her new material: “So far I’ve kept it light, but I’m sure it’s going to have its moments of getting a little heavy, a little deeper, lyrically speaking. I need a little bit of escapism right now…something that’s fun to listen to.”
MuuMuse hopes to hear: The classic Janet formula–two or three solid club bangers and a bunch of slinkier grooves a la “When We Oooo” and “That’s The Way Love Goes.” I’m also expecting some darker work and hopeful balladry, given the hardships she’s had to face over the past few months.

It is bad.

In the giant step back, Hard Candy, reeks-of-desperate-plea-for-modern relevancy, “Just add a rapper for success!” sort of way.

Meh.

Here we go again: The 25th Video Music Awards, the annual celebration of self-indulgence that only continues to lower our expectations with each coming year.

This year, we were treated to host Russell Brand, a lesser known English trash-talking personality. Kicking off with what was surely the most political monologue of the award show’s history, Brand pleaded for the audience to vote for Obama while scolding America for electing “that retarted cowboy fellow.” Thanks for the input, Englishman…Very influential. For anyone who didn’t see it, the humorless, shout-happy series of awkward statements unfolded like a Sarah Silverman performance missing the funny.

That however, was not Brand’s finest hour, which was actually the two remaining hours spent harping on the promise rings worn by the Jonas Brothers. When I say two, I mean it—each time the man was given an opportunity to speak, he took a jab, the insults growing worse each time. It was no surprise then that the audience erupted in loud cheers when Jordin Sparks decided to break from her speech and defend her own ring, declaring: “I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It’s not bad to wear promise rings…Not everybody wants to be a slut.” Overgeneralization? Surely. Deserved? Absolutely.

As for the performances, most were generally sub-par: Rihanna’s opening “Thriller”-esque rip-off made her forgettable as always, T-Pain and Lil’ Wayne were far less than inspiring, and Kanye West’s final smoke-and-lights moment left me rather unfulfilled. Some even bombed, namely Katy “Ur So Gay” Perry and her hideously bland rendition of “Like a Virgin.” I have just one question to ask you, Ms. Perry: Is that a banana on your shoulder, or are you just completely untalented?

The rocker chicks generally fared better: Pink pulled out a rather fierce rendition of her snotty kiss-off track, “So What?” with the help of pyrotechnics and breakaway glass, while Paramore kept true to form while performing their endlessly catchy single, “Misery Business.”

I’ll even award some modest golf claps to Christina Aguilera for fitting that pin-up friendly bosom into a form-fitting, futuristic PVC outfit (which, by the way, was rather “Toxic” of you, Miss Aguilera) while performing an electro-tinged rendition of her “classic” “Genie In A Bottle” along with her new single, “Keeps Getting Better.”

The actual awards went by (as they often do) greatly unnoticed, though one of the most genuine moments came when German pop-rockers Tokio Hotel scored a miraculous win over their competition, including Miley Cyrus. As the group trotted up to the stage and sputtered out their acceptance speech in broken English, few could help but coo at their adorable bout of breathless gratitude.

However, as we all know, this night was truly about my queen; my dearly damaged damsel, Miss Britney Spears. Didn’t she look stunning? Even some uninterested viewers around me forked over some halfhearted kudos once she appeared. While she didn’t perform, she never had to: Britney Spears makes the VMA’s. She smiled and looked pretty, walking away with her first, second, and third Moon Man of her career, all while awarding the haters a well deserved “Fuck You” for counting her out in the first place. Some are angered by Brit’s triple victory, and I certainly agree…I mean, shouldn’t the award go to a more established, credible artist such as Katy Perry or Miley Cyrus?

Exactly. Get over it. The VMA’s have been as dead as their hosting network for years.

After all, this year’s show will be remembered for nothing, except for the moment when Britney finally brought her sexy back.

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Photo credits:
#1: Photo by Jordan Strauss/WireImage.com
#2: MTV/Getty Images
#3: UntouchableBritney.net