Well this is one of the more awkward performances I’ve seen in my life. Mariah Carey performed her newest single, “Migrate” on Saturday Night Live tonight which–I’ll give her some credit for–was completely spur of the moment. Miss J. Jackson was scheduled to sing tonight, but was stricken with a bout of flu this week, and was therefore rendered incapable of performing. But I mean, come on, everyone knows she was really just suffering from her world famous heavy period.
So who decided to step in, instead? Mimi, of course! I’m surprised, honestly. Call me crazy, but I don’t see Mariah as one to accept filling in as a “back up” singer.
Here’s what I thought would have happened: It’s just another day in the life of Mimi. She sits restlessly upon her diamond encrusted Mimi throne, as her man-servants hand-feed her green M&M’s and trained baby unicorns brush her golden locks. Suddenly, the royal court jester runs inside to announce that the SNL executives just phoned in to request her as a fill-in. She rises slowly, toy puppy in hand, leering at the jester. In a flash, her Christopher Louboutin heel goes sailing across the room into the jesters face, killing him instantly. She sinks gingerly back into the throne, accidentally farting out a rainbow as she sits down.
But, she went for it this time. Unfortunately. She performed “Touch My Body”, but also chose to premiere the new club single, “Migrate” with T. Pain tonight. Sadly, Mimi ended up looking like a wide-eyed nobody performing karaoke in front of a roomful of strangers. She barely moved. And to make it worse, the Lil’ Jon of the year, T-Pain, came running in to act a complete fool and truly dampen the mood. Not to be undone, Mariah then moved into some delightfully awkward, geriatric grinding between the two of them soon followed.
Is she too old for this type of music? Too removed from the current club scene? I’m not sure, but this was bad. It’s Mariah Carey, for God’s sake, and her voice was not on tonight! I think she’s been trained to sing to the tune of “We Belong Together” for the past three years, so this one just threw her for a loop.
MTV is now leaking Danity Kane’s new album, Welcome to the Dollhouse, on The Leak. I’m reviewing the tracks as they come through:
Welcome to the Dollhouse (Opening) – Yeah, I saw that coming. The spin of a key, the music box playing, and the omnipresent Diddy announcing the return of Danity Kane. No surprises here.
Bad Girl (ft. Missy Elliot) – We already got the clip of this song, but hearing it in full only adds to its craft. Dark synths tripping on top of a nice, chugging beat. And don’t forget those vocal stutters! The surprise here was the collaboration with Missy, which seems to set the hottest songs on pure fire. Best line:”I–I can be your addiction / If you want to get hooked on me.”
Damaged – Such an addictive song. “Do–do you, got a first aid kit handy? / Do–do you know how to patch up a wall?” With all this talk about addiction and brokenness, I’m beginning to wonder if Danity’s preparing a concept album about the trials and tribulations of the medical industry. Whoops, sounds like an obnoxious Puffy interjection in the final bars of the track. He’s like a dog marking his territory, I swear to God.
Pretty Boy – It still comes off like a Janet Jackson album track, which isn’t exactly a criticism. There’s nothing too special about the sound, however. The girls float above a ’90′s-centric scrambled synth beat with plenty of scratching. It’s a fair dance track however, and I doubt that it would be ignored on the dancefloors.
Strip Tease – It comes out like Justin Timberlake producing a modern cabaret filled with beat-boxing, an orchestral swell, and a crucial sting of electro in between the chorus lines. As I’ve said before, it’s “Buttons” with a (second) slap on the ass.
Sucka For Love – Nice, disjointed slider of a song, playing with the tempo and never settling upon a speed for too long. It’s not all that far from Annie’s “Fool For Love”, though it’s probably the title playing with my mind.
Secret Place (Interlude) - They’ve got a secret place. The title could write the song itself. WE GET IT. You’re inviting us all to your respective vaginas. I’ll take a rain check, thanks. Features some surprisingly ranged vocals hanging out all over the place, considering it’s just an interlude.
Extasy – Uh ohhhh. It’s one of those beats. Glossed trip-hop after the rapper’s introduction. Sounds like every Mariah Carey song released in the past three years interlaced with a superior backing track. The song brings Kylie‘s bonus track “Slo Motion” to mind.
2 Of You - That came out of nowhere! This is—this is–this sounds like a Girls Aloud track! Even the lyrics adhere to the Girls Aloud Golden Rule of Nonsensicalness: “Boy, you’re so hot / There must be two of you / Boy, you got me having breakfast in the afternoon”. The beat is disappointingly minimal, compared to what could have been. I am always one for handclaps, but I consider them to be the ultimate accessory, not the main course! This song demands and deserves a driving guitar riff, or even some more synthesizers. The sign off is brilliant, as well. What a kiss-off track!
Lights Out – This one’s relentless! Sounds like Nelly Furtado‘s “Maneater”-lite, with tons of vocal play. It’s great fun to hear the “Turn off the lights / And see if you can get into my dark side” This song is obviously about anal sex.
Picture This (Interlude) – Vocals about emotions. Serves as an optional come down from “Lights Out”. Skip.
Poetry – Ah, yes. Heard this one too. A nice power ballad that wouldn’t perform too poorly on the stage of this year’s Eurovision. It’s all nice and flowy, and probably sounds nicer in HQ. Required “Ladies Represent” portion of the song begins at the 4:00 mark for all interested parties.
Key To My Heart – Oh, Aubrey, why you so metaphorical? The song’s a bit literal…they’re looking for the lost key to their hearts. I’m not sure what the goal is here, because I can distinctly hear the wannabe-stomping beat in the chorus, but the verses are distinctly trip-hop-pop only. This is a skipper.
Flashback (Interlude) - Well constructed backing track, a very industrial, clunking rhythm. The song was probably once a full track that was considered too weak, and probably so.
Is Anybody Listening? – Another mid-tempo shiner. Probably the most mellow track on the album, with a lovely ambient composition. The girls ask, perhaps ironically, if anybody’s listening throughout the track. This move would be career suicide if the album’s lead-off tracks weren’t so hot. Thankfully, somebody’s going to be listening, girls.
So, that was the new Danity Kane, and I’m shocked at how quickly I lost myself into the album. Considering the loud buzz of breakup rumors last year, I’m more than impressed to hear how well they’ve managed to bring their sound to the next level. Their vocals are certainly on point throughout the album, and more cohesive than the first release, though there were no stand out moments here either. Not that it’s a problem with girl group tracks…we wouldn’t want anyone getting all the shining bits of a song every time, now would we?
As a whole, the album tracks share a warm, glossy retro-synth sound and tempo-challenging construction, allowing the album to flow well and keep the booty swaying with confidence.
For a limited time, I’m offering the entire album, thanks to a web-rip from BMK Forums.
Mariah Carey’s new single “We Belong Together” “Touch My Body” has finally leaked! Somewhere, a gay man is seizing. That man is not me, but I knew it to be my obligation to give the song a listening to anyhow.
It’s surely nothing new, since we’ve heard this melody from her countless times before. But it’s the lyrics that make the song matter. Mariah wants to you to know that if there’s a camera up in hurr, she better not see no video posting up on the YouTube because she will hunt you down. Oh, you don’t have one? Well okay, then touch her body.
Actually, the song makes a great banner song for multiple personality disorder, as she teeters between paranoia and sexual overdrive. She’ll kill you. But only if you make love to her first. But hey, it’s her self-proclaimed “dessert” offering after Emancipation of Mimi after all. So eat up.
DL: Mariah Carey – Touch My Body
Source: MuzicMatters Forum
It’s funny how much can happen in only a day’s time. The situation in this case…not as funny.
Britney Spears has been admitted into psychiatric ward over at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles for almost a full day. As of right now, Britney is in good health and spirits, at least for the moment. The entire process that broke out last night was apparently orchestrated by Spears’ family. All the events, including the police choppers, barricades, and motorcycle motorcades, were planned out prior to the event according to People magazine. There was a fear that she would attempt to flee with one of her many boyfriend/paparazzo scums, so the situation was covered from all angles. With nowhere to run, Britney obliged and checked into the medical center.
Sadly, the backbone of this intervention seems to be crumbling more than ever, as the bickering begins to go public. Sam has gone on record regarding his feud with the family in a text message to Access Hollywood saying: “Her mother is not someone who cares about her daughter, she’s only concerned with herself. Sad but true. She was too busy getting a manicure to come over yesterday, despite her daughters (sic) pleas. Sad, very sad.” Reports from X17 as well as other news outlets claim that Lynne is highly suspicious of Britney’s newfound friend, Sam, and his intentions. Don’t forget that somewhere in the mix, Adnan is also involved.
After the 72-hour review that is to take place, as well as possible further analysis, there is some debate as to what will be done next. Lynne would like to bring Britney back home, according to Britney’s lawyer, Michael Flannagan, “Lynne is extremely concerned for her daughter and would like to take Britney back home to Louisiana and get her out of Hollywood.†On the flip side, Sam and Co. probably have other plans. The fact of the matter is that Britney is still unbalanced mentally, as it has almost fully been confirmed that she does have bipolar syndrome. It’s evident that she does not have her emotions in balance, and any decision she does make may be made during another one of her manic episodes that we’ve all seen.
I know that I just want her to be stable again. I don’t know what or who that requires to do the job, but someone must step in for her when she is no longer able to defend or control herself. Maybe Sam is right, and he’s doing what’s best (doubtful). I still believe in the goodness of her family, but I can’t help but remain doubtful. Fame may have tainted the family’s relationship beyond repair. Despite all of this, Britney is where she needs to be right now and is currently getting the medical attention necessary for her own good. I’m rooting for you, darling.
By the way, check out this report that was published after Mariah Carey’s infamous breakdown. Similarities galore. Perhaps Britney too will rise from all this as Carey did. Inspiration, perhaps?
Source: People, TMZ, X17, BMK, PageSix
Here comes a new promotional photo (and possibly album cover?) for Mariah’s new album, the self-proclaimed “dessert” follow-up album, That Chick, following her “main course” effort, The Emancipation of Mimi.
Judging from this photograph, Carey appears to be having an issue finding her clothes. Luckily, she’s found a garbage lid to cover her lady bits. Actually, her face suggests that she may be relieving herself inside of the lid. Regardless of what’s going on behind the lid, I’m glad to see that Mariah’s camp decided to re-hire the world famous Mariah air brush master.
Source: Discopop Blog
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