As we all know by now, Beyonce‘s been churning out singles from 4 in radio, remix and video form for the entire year.

It’s been a bit exhausting, and at this point, I’m fairly certain that the entire album’s been released in one way or another. Well, except for MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE ALBUM OBVIOUSLY: “I Miss You.” (UGH! Give it some love already, Bey!)

Nevertheless, “End of Time” is one of the best songs off of King B’s fourth studio package, and the diva’s just gone ahead and unleashed a whole bunch of official remixes onto her SoundCloud.

The Wideboys mix gives the song a nuts o’clock wailing alarm call, while the Wawa take provides a reliable club thumpa-thump. Better still is the Manny Lehman “Labor of Love” remix, which gives the song a slightly ‘millennial banga’ re-rub (think Jennifer Lopez‘s “Waiting For Tonight” green laser lights). But far and away the best remix of the bunch is the Redtop remix–which is basically from another planet. (Or rather, from yesteryear.)

As my friend David described it, the Redtop mix of “End of Time” is “like a Madonna record from 1987.” Truly! Once those classic synths come shooting into the speakers, don’t be surprised if you hear “And you can dance…for inspiration” echoing in the distance. But the throwback track isn’t just a touch of Madge–it’s a glorious Jackson 5-meets-Whitney Houston jubilee of flashing lights, blaring horns and funky rhythms that’ll make you want to throw on your mom’s best sequined number and go sashaying right down to the grocery store in full glam mode. (Caution: Don’t actually do that.)

So check out all the official remixes streaming below, and get ready to get into the groove just in time for the New Year!

End Of Time Remixes by Beyoncé

4 was released on June 28. (iTunes)

Disclaimer: I really can’t with Katy Perry, so prepare to sip on some serious haterade.

Earlier today, Professional Plastic Bag Kitty Purry unveiled the teaser trailer for “The One That Got Away,” her eleventy millionth single off of 2010′s Teenage Dream.

As you can see/hear, there’s a lot of dramatic narration. Something vague about losing someone, or love, or the past being like a handful of dust or some shit. But Katy looks so happy with her man! Yes! They’re dancing around, all merry and whatnot! But then, uh oh! Things seem to be going awry! She looks sad now. Like, rill sad, y’all. Fuck, they’re fighting! OOF. Something tells me all’s not well with this relationship.

But wait, doesn’t something feel astonishingly, err…familiar about this?

OH, RIGHT: BECAUSE IT’S LITERALLY
THE SAME VIDEO AS RIHANNA‘S “WE FOUND LOVE.”

Narratively speaking, cinematographically speaking…it’s just a shameful “We Found Love” regurgitation, except rather than starring an objectively bad-ass bitch Illuminati Princess, it features the blow-up doll that brought us such stereotype-affirming classics as “Ur So Gay” and “I Kissed A Girl.” (Nothing says we’re all fireworks inside like telling your effeminite boyfriend to hang himself with his H&M scarf, right Katy?)

All I can say is: God help this wretched woman if drugs shoot out of her breasts in this video.

As a reminder, Perry’s gone to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 with all five of her Teenage Dream singles, thus tying the KING OF POP Michael Jackson‘s record for most #1′s from a single album. If “The One That Got Away” goes to #1, she will have broken Jackson’s record.

So before visiting iTunes, think about your life. Think about your choices, and think about the pop culture history you’d like to bestow upon future generations.

Thank you for your time.

It’s been a long time coming (and something that’ll make my K-pop Krazy friend Prophet Blog wet himself with delight), but it’s time I finally acknowledged the wonder and splendor of the force known as Girls’ Generation.

Now, I myself am more of a J-Pop connoisseur than K-Pop girl group guru (I go hard for Utada Hikaru, Namie Amuro, Koda Kumi and Ayumi Hamasaki in particular), but it’s all but impossible not to notice the extraordinary influence of Korean girl groups making their way overseas.

Girls’ Generation–sometimes referred to as SNSD (an acronym based on their Korean name)–is by far one of South Korea’s most popular acts. After their debut back in 2007, the nonet (that’s nine members) has gone on to win countless awards and smash dozens of records in both Korea and Japan, most notably for their 2009 international smash hit “Gee,” the Ke$ha-penned “Run Devil Run,” as well as their #1 Japanese hit from earlier this year, “Mr. Taxi.”

(By the way: Think a nine member group is crazy? Check out AKB48, a J-Pop group consisting of 59 members to date. Go ahead. Just try and remember their names.)

Now, quite excitingly, Girls’ Generation are set to make their official mark stateside (well, worldwide really) with the release of their third studio album The Boys, due to hit iTunes on October 19, followed by a US single release via Interscope Records sometime in November.

“The Boys” is the album’s lead single, which was recorded in both Korean and English. Today, the full song hit iTunes and the video has premiered (in both languages) and…well, it’s absolutely incredible. (To be fair: J-Pop and K-Pop videos usually slay Western videos. This is certainly no exception.)

Featuring some truly ferocious choreography, the ladies work it out in some sort of icy snow palace while rocking sky-high stilettos and killer haute couture threads. For fans of girl groups of any kind, the video relentlessly delivers everything that a good girl group video should: Fierce poses, glamorous looks, glossy styling…it’s everything!

And as for the song itself? Crafted by Teddy Riley (Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga), “The Boys” is a solid modern R&B/dance-pop effort with some attitude–a welcome change from the all-too-grating sugary-sweet sound that K-Pop girl groups tend to churn out on the regular. The chorus is an instant ear-worm. Plus, for those easily offenced by a foreign tongue hitting their ears, their accents aren’t even that strong at all–a key factor in helping them to crossover to the West.

As an English debut, “The Boys” is a pretty massive introduction for the group. I’m incredibly excited to see what the international response is to Girls’ Generation–especially in America. Yay for global pop recognition!

“The Boys” was released on October 19. (iTunes)

LITERALLY STOP BREATHING, STOP YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN.

You stuck waiting around for Jersey Shore to air to see Brit Brit’s 2011 VMA promo? NO NEED: It’s here…and it’s FUCKING AMAZING.

Prancing into a room full of Spears impersonators and giddy B-Girl enthusiasts, the Holy Spearit gets into the groove as Janet Jackson‘s “Rhythm Nation” and Madonna‘s “Everybody” play overhead (!!!). Watch as Godney giggles, plays around in a photo booth and passes by walls filled with iconic track titles, including Michael Jackson‘s “Billy Jean,” Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” and Britney’s own “…Baby One More Time.” And then, the major reveal (along with a super epic B pose…GIF please!!!):

8/28: A TRIBUTE TO BRITNEY SPEARS.

I AM ABSOLUTELY FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW!!!

Madonna, Michael, Janet…and now: Britney. Honoring the Holy Spearit like the MOTHERFUCKING ICON she is!

This commercial is a stan boy’s ultimate dream come true! I mean…the clipping of Britney’s head taped on top of Janet’s infamous Rolling Stone cover photo alone! I CAN’T TAKE IT, TAKE NO MORE.

THANK YOU, MTV. THANK YOU!!!

2011: YEAR OF THE SPEARS.

Queen Toy is taking it back!

After uploading a promo video to YouTube hours ago, La Toya Jackson has just announced her grand return to the music scene with the Starting Over EP, due out on June 21.

The EP–which will be released in conjunction with Jackson’s upcoming autobiography of the same name–follows nearly a decade of false starts, re-recordings and release date setbacks for the album, originally slated for release way back in 2002.

The release will be the first for La Toya since her 2009 single “Home,” a charity ballad released in commemoration of her brother, Michael.

WELCOME BACK, TOY!

On Thursday night, Janet Jackson brought her international Number Ones: Up Close and Personal Tour to Mohegan Sun.

…Gimme a BEAT!

It doesn’t matter if you love goo, or capital G-o-o, ’cause baby…it’s the video premiere for Lady Gaga‘s “Born This Way”!

Read more »

“When I Grow Up” was the largely successful lead single from the The Pussycat Dolls‘ (RIP) sophomore record, Doll Domination.

Released in May of 2008, the Darkchild-produced, questionably moraled ode to the pursuit for fame earned the Dolls the #9 spot atop the Billboard Hot 100, as well as providing what would be their greatest dance breakdown moment ever. (No seriously–check out this video of every single time they’ve ever worked that incredible dance break. It’s unstoppable.)

However, it was always somewhat known/rumored that “When I Grow Up” was originally penned with Britney in mind. Now, there’s proof.

An early demo penned by songwriting brother duo Rock City hit the net earlier today, and the lyrics–for better or worse–have Britney written all over the song.

“My name is Britney and I don’t care what you say,” we hear as the track starts revving up. But as the demo unfolds, the song lyrics grow relentlessly cringe-worthy: “I swear that I was flippin’ at first / When they said I looked like Debbie Gibson / And then I tried to dance like Michael Jackson / But people saw me and started laughing.”

Later on, the comparisons keep flying, making her sound more and more pathetic as the song goes on: “I would dress up like Madonna, would even try to sing like Cyndi Lauper / I would pretend I was a superstar, I never thought me being me would get me that far.”

Honestly, I’ve just got no clue how Rock City ever expected Britney’s camp to accept this demo. Casting her as a wannabe laughingstock and making her sound like a narcissistic brat? Like…are you for surrious right now?

I’d always wondered why the song was passed up. Now I know why.