Many years ago, a pop-loving man named Joseph moved with his family to a land far, far away called Club Banger Nation, ruled by a mighty king named Scherzy Baby.
As the years went on, the pop lovers grew more numerous, fruitfully multiplying and stanning for flops, lessors and legends alike: The Rihanna Navy, the BeyHive, the KatyCats, the Little Monsters, the Heartbeats, the Fighters, the LOVE?rs, the Amber Rosebuds, the Kerli Fries, the Alexandra Stans, and the Chosen People, the Followers of Godney–all living together in harmony.
Eternally humble chanteuse, child terrorist and “Puakenikeni” enthusiast Nicole Scherzinger has something to say to all you sluts out there: She’s jealous of you!
Scherzy Baby, whose latest single “Boomerang” was just released in the UK (the accompanying video doubles as a terrifying Japanese ghost prophecy), spoke to The Independent on Sunday about her career and stuff recently, including her #sexysongs.
Koji Suzuki‘s Birthday is a collection of short stories based on the popular Japanese horror series, Ringu.
One of the stories, “Happy Birthday,” centers around a fictional plane of virtual existence called The Loop, formed by a group of supercomputers that have been programmed to mirror the exact conditions of the real world in order to better understand life on Earth. (Sort of like The Matrix, except Suzuki thought of the idea first.)
She emerges from the steamy bathroom in her London flat, a hot pink towel tautly wrapped around her head. Completely nude, she basks in the sweet scent of ‘Honey, I’m Strong’ Herbal Essences shampoo that now fills the room. The scent reminded her of simpler days back home in Kentucky: Of running through the mazes in Louisville with Bobo, and the sweet stench of buttery popcorn and fried Oreos at the Coca-Cola Talent Classic State Fair. Would Bobo still remember the promise he whispered into her ear that sticky August night? Even now, she could still feel the familiar, vaguely corn-scented warmth of his embrace. No. Not since the accident at the farm. Don’t hold your breath, she thinks to herself.
She looks back down at the laptop and picks at her lime green Impress Press-On nails while trying to piece together just who she’s become. A friend request from Ashley Thomas quietly pops up on the screen and jars her memory instantly, which she ignores. She stares off at her vision board hanging in the distance above her trundle bed, full of dirty, blood-splattered clippings and photographs: A shriveled Puakenikeni, a lock of Melody Thornton‘s hair, a tattered poster proclaiming Killer Love Tour: Live in Belgium–SOLD OUT!”
A toothy, sinister grin forms in between her lips. It’s time now, Nicole Scherzinger thinks.
Ester Dean‘s dropping it low on her own once again–and this time, she’s coming full force.
As we knew already, the Oklahoma-born singer-songwriter, responsible for literally millions of hit songs for artists like Katy Perry (“Firework), Nicki Minaj (“Super Bass) and most of all, Rihanna (“Rude Boy,” “S&M,” “What’s My Name?”), is finally stepping out for her highly anticipated solo venture in 2012 under Roc Nation.
“Gimmie Money” is the first taste of Dean’s upcoming work and, following the proven success rate of all songs with “Gimme” in the title, it’s a solid smash.
Dean’s signature raspy vocals works well against the bangin’, gritty beat, which I’m only assuming is a Stargate pairing given that the synthesizers and melodies are deeply reminiscent of her prior smashes with the Norwegian duo, including RiRi’s “What’s My Name?”, “Only Girl,” and most noticeably of all, Nicole Scherzinger‘s “Right There.”
“I need your love more than a ring/I like nice things, that’s the icing/But you gotta give me more, and make me your girl,” she urges. That’s right fellas–this isn’t a “Get Your Money Up” situation. All Ester wants is you.
The song also includes a solid cameo by the always reliable (in feature form, anyway) Nicki Minaj on a guest verse. I mean: “Chopsticks, you know we don’t give a fork”? You’ve got to love Mizz Minaj’s features–even if she sometimes acts like, um, a stupid hoe.
Basically, this track has all the makings of a blazin’ Top 40 RiRi banga, but this time around, it’s Dean’s turn to get her shine in the spotlight–and rightfully so.