The video for Jennifer Lopez‘s soon-to-be smash on the radio “Dance Again” features just about everything that the song promises: Dancing, love (and/or love-making–or at the very least, copious amounts of foreplay), and then dancing again.

Clearly, Jennifer forgot to ask for flaws in her rider for the video shoot, because there simply are none to be found on her body–from the curvaceous lumps to the fan-blow friendly post-sex hair. And of course, Mr. Worldwide‘s on set looking charmingly pervy in his white tuxedo on loan from Baby Gap.

In order to really drive the song’s message home, J-Lo engages in the following:

1.) Levitates into a masquerade orgy/people pile of sorts a la Kylie‘s “All The Lovers” up against the ceiling (safe sex is gravity-free sex.)
2.) Rolls around in some of Ke$ha‘s leftover glitter that she upchucked last Tuesday after one too many bottles of Jack.
3.) Unleashes an absolutely mayjah dance breakdown with her newest boy toy, dancer Casper Smart, that keeps every pop chick in the game pressed. 20-year-old pop ladies, how come Madonna and J-Lo are out-dancing y’all? Oh right: ‘CAUSE THEY’RE LEGENDS.

In short, STUN-NING. (Also, oh hay gay rights (sort of)!) Shout out to the MTV All-Star Tribute!

But really, I must say: Choosing to release this video on the weekend the Lord has risen? Tsk tsk. Surely this YouTube commenter ‘soniadinoraportillo’ says it best:

Jennifer Lopez is promoting orgies and I dislike this video, she is a very promiscuous old woman trying to keep up with the teen ages, face it your are 42!.

VIVA LA LOPEZ!

“Dance Again” was released on April 2. (iTunes)

Legendary mamacita, Nicki Minaj side-eye shade thrower, and thoroughly free of all flaw Queen J. Lo just called in to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to premiere her brand new RedOne-produced dance floor banga, “Dance Again,” which will either be the lead single from her upcoming eighth studio album or from a greatest hits collection. She don’t know yet!

(Translation: If this one’s a smash, she’s going with a new album.)

Despite her jam-packed schedule working behind the judge’s booth on American Idol, it appears as though Jenny’s got a whole lot of other things she’d like to be doing with her time as well.

Her grueling to-do list, in no particular order:

1.) Dance.

2.) Love.

3.) Dance Again.

The blazin’ hot track also features professional bulge Pitbull, who offers insightful commentary throughout regarding the one subject closest to his heart: His global reach. “Is he really worldwide? Uh, yes!” Mr. Worldwide decides aloud. Finally, the debate is over!

Also of note: The beat from Pitbull’s verse is lifted directly from Nightcrawlers‘ 1992 House smash “Push The Feeling On,” which Pitbull already sampled (in a different section of the song) for 2009′s “Hotel Room Service.” From this, we can deduce two things: 1.) Pitbull really fucking loves “Push The Feeling On” and 2.) We’re now entering the seventh circle of Reductive Hell.

Now, look: Is “Dance Again” sonically identical to “On The Floor,” “Papi,” and every other uptempo banga on Lopez’s quite amazing seventh studio album, LOVE? Oh, yes. Does Kat Deluna reserve the right to remain thoroughly pressed about the fact that Jenny is quite literally snatching song after song from her Belgium-only album, Inside Out? Indeed!

But you know what? It’s Jennifer Lopez! She can be as reductively derivatively generic as she likes, and I’m still going to go H.A.M. for whatever she’s serving. When the DJ bumps some Jenny up in the club, I lose my mind, my clothes, and whatever tiny shred of dignity that’s been hanging by a string from my bedazzled jock strap for the duration of the night.

Therefore, I do declare “Dance Again” a smash!

VIVA LA J. LO!

“Dance Again” will be released on April 2. (iTunes)

Havana Brown is a popular Australian DJ.

When she’s not serving as the opening act for some of MuuMuse’s top pop acts during their Australian leg of their tours–including Rihanna (Good Girl Gone Bad Tour), the Pussycat Dolls (Doll Domination Tour) and the Legendary Miss Brit Brit (The Circus Tour: Starring Britney Spears)–she’s busy mixing tracks for her successful compilation series, Crave.

Earlier this year, the flawless disc jockey released her first-ever single: “We Run The Night,” an off the charts, bomb-dot-com explosion of pulsating synths and gigantic beat breakdowns co-written and produced by Aussie singer Cassie Davis and producer Snob Scrilla. The massive club stormer (and one of the best dance tracks of the year) went on to go double platinum and earn Brown a #5 spot on the ARIA Singles Chart.

Due to her single’s major success overseas, Brown revealed to fans on her Facebook last week that the song was being prepped for stateside release. YAY! So what did the label heads over at Universal Music decide to do before shipping out to precious American ears? Why, hire Gaga hit-maker RedOne to slap on some extra beats and a verse by everyone’s favorite radio perv Pitbull, of course! …OH.

The newly leaked re-rub of the track is a (largely unnecessary) mix ‘n’ match of the original, including a few extra RedOne bouncy beats and a boner-killing restructure that sticks the first beat drop at the very beginning of the song–thus ruining the song’s original build-up. And as for that grating Pitbull verse? About as necessary as a cold sore. (Funnily enough, listening to any Pitbull verse usually results in the development of a cold sore.)

Now don’t get me wrong here: “We Run The Night” is still a supreme club cut, and I’m so excited to hear it blasting out in clubs stateside! This new version crafted for the States is just sort of, err…extraneous and overly commercial. Oh well!

“We Run The Night” will be released on September 27. (iTunes Australia)

Earlier this afternoon, I received a press release announcing the upcoming return of Timbaland: “Timbaland Debuts Single In Provacative Video for Raphael Mazzucco!”

Tempted by both the question of what Timbaland would be working on in these post-RedOne dark days of radio, as well as what could possibly be contained in the (amusingly misspelled) ‘provacative video,’ I inquired within. And oh, how glad I am that I did.

At the risk of being accused of laziness, I’ve–err, lazily bullet-pointed the most crucial items at hand:

What. What. WHAT?!

FINALLY, a song that does proper justice to the female form–because nothing quite says female empowerment like a new club cut from Timbaland (of “Ayo Technology” fame), Pitbull (of “Hotel Room Service” fame) and David Guetta (of “Sexy Bitch” fame) in which the boys take turns merrily speak-singing about degrading women above a trashy “Calabria” rip-off beat slapped atop an ‘artsy’ trailer for a book of scantily clad models shot by a Sports Illustrated photographer inspired by Professional Annoyance/Purveyor of Shit-Pop Will.I.Am–all set into motion by Interscope bigwig, Jimmy Iovine.

Choice lyric from Timba’s new cut? Hard to make this one out entirely, but it comes at the 0:38 mark, as Pitbull happily raps:

“She does what I say, she does what I please…she lives on her knees. Ha!”

As Eleanor Roosevelt would likely proclaim: “FUCK YES! EQUALITY!”

So, congratulations boys: You’ve literally created the most offensive ensemble production of the year, worthy of making the good ol’ boys of Jersey Shore look like a set of straitlaced suitors from the British royal family.

At the end of the day, this screenshot says it best…

An ass is just [an] ass–especially a whole recording studio full of ‘em.

When Jennifer Lopez‘s “Louboutins”–an ode to the couture cobbler–was released to a less-than-tepid response in the last week of 2009, Lopez seemingly began to struggle to find her footing in the market (excuse the pun), eventually taking a leave from her longtime label Epic Records in 2010.

Yet only weeks after the announcement made the rounds, J-Lo was already busy inking a new record deal with Island Def Jam and preparing to fulfill her duties as a full-time judge on the tenth season of American Idol.

Only one year later, Lopez suddenly came roaring back onto the charts in the beginning of 2011 with the release of her first actual single from Love?: “On The Floor (feat. Pitbull),” a surprise smash hit for the singer that skyrocketed to #1 in over 19 countries (and counting!)

Now–after a few false starts, a label switch, and the birth of her twins Max and Emme comes LOVE?, the long awaited, oft-delayed seventh studio album by Jennifer Lopez, released on April 29.

Get on the floor…

¡AYYYYYYYDIOSMIO!

Okay, so–oh my God. Jennifer Lopez just performed “On The Floor” for the first time EVER on American Idol tonight. And to no one’s surprise in particular, it was fucking. HOT. FIYA.

Okay, first of all–the “I’m Into You” segue into “On The Floor” introduction? So good! So exciting! So sexy! And then–and THEN, Pitbull came running out! But no one really cared because, well…it’s Pitbull. It doesn’t matter if he’s making an appearance on a song or in person. The general reaction is just, like: “Oh, okay! Pitbull! So where’s the singer at?”

AND THEN SHE APPEARS, LIKE THE GLITTERY SEXY SILVER GODDESS SHE IS, SHIMMERING AND GLOWING FOR ALL TO SEE AND BEHOLD IN WONDER AND AMAZEMENT. (No, but really, she was probably wearing Glow.)

So what does she decide to do? SHE FUCKING SIDE KICKS A GLASS BOX. Why? Because she’s from the DOWNTOWN BRONX, BITCH.

Princess Jenny then goes on to storm up and down the stage while busting out her #1 worldwide hit, snatching wigs and perfectly twerking and jerking to the beat. She even rises up on a platform thingy for a second! And–wait, is that LIVE?! Yes, mamacitas–LIVE VOCALS ARE POURING FROM HER BEAUTIFUL, ANGEL-SCULPTED FACE.

And then–OH! OH! The dance breakdown, in which she literally IS ON THE FLOOR! SO, SO VERY SEXY. Sharp, sexy moves…she was totes dancing for her papi!!!

I LOVED IT.

In all seriousness, I suppose the greatest thing about the performance is watching La Lopez have FUN. J-Lo hails from a slightly older school of entertainment by modern pop standards: She’s hyping the crowd, smiling, running around and making sure you’re having just as much fun as she is. I’m not trying to throw shade in any particular performer’s direction (seriously, I’m not), but sometimes it’s nice to know that the person on stage is LOVING what’s going on as much as we are!

I need a fan. It is simply TOO SEXY IN HERE! No, seriously–there’s no air in here and I’m gonna die–give me a fan!

At long last, it’s the video premiere for Jennifer Lopez‘s hit single, “On The Floor (feat. Pitbull)”!

Watch above as Queen Jennifer and Mr. Pitbull play dancehall royalty and reign above the dancing masses–that is, until Miss Jenny From The Block herself bursts into the club and busts out a few of her illest moves to take over control of the floor.

J to the L-O is looking all shades of caliente in this glossy new club clip, bolstered by a few flashy product placement shots (I’ll take BMW and Swarovski over PlentyOfFish any day!) and a whole slew of gorgeous outfits and poses.

Lopez is looking utterly STUNNING throughout: Body’s still bangin’, she’s pulling all the right moves, and oh, those hair flips for days…yep, Jenny’s still got it!

I la-la-LOVE IT! Get it, J-Lo!

Jenny is officially back on the block!

Last night, Jennifer Lopez released “On The Floor (feat. Pitbull),” the lead single from her upcoming studio album, LOVE?, to iTunes. Since then, the song has climbed to the #1 spot in France, Sweden and Finland, as well as hitting Top 10 in several countries around the world.

Coupled with her digital sales success, Billboard has just confirmed that the song will debut at #40 on the Pop Songs chart, marking her first appearance on the chart since 2007′s “Do It Well” (which peaked at #29). Huzzah!

The “On The Floor” video will premiere on March 3 on VEVO, but we’ve already gotten a special behind-the-scenes sneak peek courtesy of Access Hollywood. Hang tight until the :45 mark to see J-Lo busting some serious moves–she’s still got it!

“On The Floor” arrives nearly one month prior to the release of LOVE?, Lopez’s long delayed seventh studio album due for release on March 29. The record is being produced by Lady Gaga hit-maker RedOne and the legendary chairman and CEO of Island Def Jam, LA Reid.

RedOne recently spoke to Entertainment Weekly last week regarding J-Lo’s upcoming record:

The sound, as you might guess, nods to Lopez’s roots — but it’s more than that. “A little bit of the Latin flavor is infused in it,” RedOne explains, “but I would describe it more as a global sound. It is all about love and covers all emotional sides of Jennifer. She is in a good place.

To top it all off, today happens to be the birthday of her baby twins! Awwww.

Congratulations all around, J-Lo!

“On The Floor (feat. Pitbull)” was released today. (iTunes)