STOP BREATHING: AN AMAZING SONG AWAITS YOUR EARS.

If you thought you liked Diana Vickers‘ brand new buzz track “Music To Make The Boys Cry,” start crying now–’cause you’re in for another mayjah treat.

Just a few moments ago, the X Factor alum tweeted out another new buzz track: “Kiss Of A Bullet,” produced by Amir Amor. And guess what? IT’S AMAZING.

You know what it sounds like? It sounds like a Rachel Stevens song. No, this is NOT A DRILL: It sounds like Stevens’ brand of electro-pop perfection with a slightly darker (Goldfrapp-ish?), quirkier edge. It’s sexy. It’s seductive. It’s like the best thing I’ve ever heard in at least 24 hours.

“Some like it hot, but I like it cold,” Vickers purrs during the slinky chorus. And then that “(Bang bang) Shoot me down! (Bang bang) Shoot me down!” bit post-chorus? BLOODY BRILLIANT!

Oy vey, this is going to be one solid follow-up. Viva la Vickers!

Diana is currently giving away “Kiss Of A Bullet” for free on Twitter and Facebook. (iTunes)

Brace yourselves for literally the worst news you’ve ever heard in your entire life…ever.

Rachel Stevens, flawless ex-S Club 7 member, Jewish Pop Princess, and songstress behind one of the ’00′s greatest pop albums of all time (2005′s Come And Get It), has quietly recorded a third studio album. The problem?

IT’S A CHILDREN’S ALBUM.

Yes, you heard me right: A children’s album. Like, for babies. Not for adults. Not pop music–baby music.

The album is called Tasty Tunes (I just vomited), a 5-track collection that the new mother recorded in order to teach her daughter about healthy eating.

From Sexy Stevens:

Rachel Stevens has recorded a collection of songs about fruit and veg to encourage kids to eat their five-a-day. The former S Club 7 star has performed a number of well-known nursery rhymes with a food twist to help youngsters to get into healthy eating habits. The songs are available as free downloads from children’s food firm Ella’s Kitchen following research which showed that engaging with fruit and vegetables outside meal-times encouraged them to eat.

Rachel Stevens – “Yummy, Yummy, Yum”

If you particularly hate your life, you can have a listen to a few of songs right here, including “In The Fruit Bowl On The Tree” and (GULP) “Yummy, Yummy, Yum.” (What are the odds one of these was produced by Xenomania?)

Like, okay: I get it. You’re a mom now. That’s amazing. But you also recorded “So Good.” And “Crazy Boys.” And “Some Girls.” You can’t just do this to us. What about US, Rachel?! WHAT ABOUT US?!

While you’re at it Stevens, you might as well record a complete children’s edition of all your past hits! Think of all the options you have: “Sweet Dreams My Snuggly Wuggly Widdle Boo Bear,” “So Goo-Goo,” “Breathe In, Burp Out,” and even “I Said Never Again (BRB Changing A Diaper).” UGH. JUST BREAK MY HEART FOREVER, OKAY?!

To prevent me from drowning myself in a giant tub of Gerber’s pureed bananas, let’s reflect on a better time–a simpler time. A time when music was good and Rachel Stevens was not recording songs called “Yummy, Yummy, Yum.”

Sigh…

BABIES RUIN LIVES.

~BLAH BLAH BLAH, LOOK AT ME: MY NAME’S WILL YOUNG AND I JUST RELEASED THE PERFECT VIDEO FOR THE PERFECT LEAD SINGLE FROM MY (PROBABLY) PERFECT UPCOMING FIFTH STUDIO ALBUM BUT I’M LIKE TOTES BORED RIGHT NOW SO I THINK I’LL JUST RELEASE A SONG THAT ISN’T EVEN ON MY ALBUM FOR FUNZIES JUST BECAUSE I CAN. PS: I LOOK TOTALLY FLAWLESS ON THE COVER ART, LOLOLZ.~

And that–if I had to guess–is exactly what flashed through Will Young’s mind before unleashing the completely free, completely amazing Pascal Gabriel co-penned (Rachel Stevens, Kylie Minogue) “The Way I See” onto Amazon.co.uk today.

The song is nothing short of a flawless pop gem: It sounds a bit like if you cracked open Britney‘s “Scary” and poured the bright ’80′s synthesizers into a bowl of Rachel Stevens’ Come & Get It, smoothed the mix over a lush Sophie Ellis-Bextor disco-encrusted mold and then sprinkled some sweet, sweet Will Young crooning on top to garnish.

Mmm…I’m going to be stuffing my face with this one for a while. Echoes truly cannot arrive soon enough!

DL: Will Young – “The Way I See”

Echoes will be released on August 22. (iTunes UK)

Breathe in, breathe out.

Once upon a time, in a faraway land called Londontown, there lived (lives, but now in L.A.) an enchanting Jewish pop princess named Rachel Stevens recorded one of the best electro-pop records of the 21st century in 2005: Come And Get It.

“Nothing In Common” is one of the earliest known recordings from Stevens’ Come And Get It sessions with British purveyor of all things Pop Perfection, Richard X (Sugababes, Annie). As is widely known in popular Stevens lore, the song has never seen the light of day.

Until today, that is.

“Nothing In Common” is a stunning, chilly electro ballad that finds the former S Club 7 crooner lamenting a relationship limping on its last legs: “So we play to the crowd every time we step out / We sit at opposite ends of the table,” she sadly masquerades.

Apart from the gorgeous sad disco production throughout, the subtle Pet Shop Boys-esque tribal beats that bang before the blink-and-you-miss-it bridge (Stevens’ distant howl of “Who are we fooling?”) are a particularly brilliant touch.

Although it’s clear that the song was never mixed to final form, “Nothing In Common” would have made for a perfect addition to the already flawless tracklisting of Stevens’ second studio album.

And now, MuuMuse presents: “Nothing In Common.”

Nothing In Common (Demo) by muumuse

And now, I DIE.

Come And Get It was released in 2005. (iTunes)

STOP. LIFE.

Can you hear that? Yes, Muusers: It’s the sound of the Holy Spearit flowing through your speakers.

“Whiplash” is the latest leak from Selegenda Gomezmerizing‘s upcoming studio album When The Sun Goes Down, produced by bouncy-pop maestro Greg Kurstin and co-penned by Electrocute‘s Nicole Morier (“Heaven On Earth,” “Mmm Papi”) and the living legend herself, Godney Spears.

The song is essentially what would happen if Rachel Stevens were to make her grand return in 2011, hovering somewhere in between the brilliant electro-glitter of “Some Girls” and “Waiting Game.” It’s fucking fantastic: It’s got a real gritty, sauntering beat, spacey synthesizers and even includes spoken word bridges done in a British accent…and you just KNOW Britney came up with that shit.

STUCK. ON. REPEAT. Come on and take me to the other side!

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY SELEGENDA.

When The Sun Goes Down will be released on June 28. (iTunes)

After the release of her critically acclaimed Introduction EP back in 2010, UK singer-songwriter-drummer Florrie is back for another round.

The former Xenomania in-house band member–who first rose to prominence as a solo artist after giving away a handful of electro-pop gems produced by Fred Falke on her official website–returns on June 14 with the Experiments EP, a six-track collection of crunchy electro-pop tunes.

The Experiments EP finds Florrie flirting with an airy ’60′s French pop nostalgia mixed with cutting-edge pop penning and production by the likes of Fred Falke, MNEK and Mike Chapman. From the festive mariachi-electro horn flairs of “She Always Gets What She Wants” to the dreamy strings of the SomethingALaMode-produced “What You Doing This For?”, the entire mini-album meshes well with the carefully cribbed pop perfection of other acts imbued with the Xenomania essence, including Girls Aloud, Annie and Rachel Stevens, while still managing to carve out its own delightful identity.

“I Took A Little Something,” one of the collection’s brightest moments, is a neatly unearthed ’80′s synth-pop summertime smash, as Florrie’s light, dreamy vocals–marked by a Brian Higgins-esque (Xenomania) touch of smooth-spoken, hook-heavy lyrics–float above endless array of sparkling synthesizers.

While Florrie’s music may never enter into the realm of Top 40 pop–the production still feels too left-of-center for radio’s current pop taste buds (which even Florrie herself has said)–the Experiments EP should only further Florrie’s ever-expanding underground following with some of the most lush, listenable synth-pop you’ll encounter this year.

In keeping with Florrie’s incredibly thoughtful, transparent process regarding the release of her music, the UK singer-songwriter has put the entire Experimenting EP on YouTube–as well as on iTunes.

If you like what you hear, please support her!

The Experiments EP was released on June 14. (iTunes)

For those who don’t know (and apparently many do not), the CMJ Music Marathon & Film Festival is a week long event in which under-the-radar artists perform and indie filmmakers premiere their work at showcases across New York City.

This year’s CMJ Festival begins next week on Tuesday, October 19 and will run through Saturday, October 23. According to the official website, there will be “1200 live performances from over 30 countries in more than 75 of New York City’s greatest venues and theatres,” which is, like, a whole lot.

At the risk of attracting too many paparazzi my way (WHY CAN’T THEY JUST LET ME LIVE?!) and for my own memory’s sake, I wanted to outline the showcases I’ll be personally attending.

On Wednesday, I’ll be headed to the Bell House in Brooklyn, where MuuMuse’s Most Anticipated Artist Natalia Kills will be headlining along with some amazing up-and-comers like Fenech-Soler, Parallels, and Samuel. PopJustice will also be DJ’ing the event (oh hay!), which will undoubtedly result in many (semi-drunk) tweets from me requesting a Girls Aloud song to be played at some point in the night. Watch for that.

Also on Wednesday, I will at some point be dropping into fellow Strangers in Stereo member The Culture of Me’s CMJ celebration where acts like Oh Land, Hussle Club, and Reni Lane will be burning up the Backstage Bar. It promises to be a very sexy time.

Then on Thursday, October 21, I’ll be headed to Splash Bar (where I once found myself holding hands with Kylie, shaking and crying) for a late night affair where I will undoubtedly be touched inappropriately while enjoying Hard Candy’s first ever showcase starring Zowie.

And that’s that. That’s three events so far, and it’s already sort of exhausting to think about. Next step: Plan MuuMuse’s first ever showcase for 2011.

Hmm…does anyone have Rachel Stevens‘ cell phone number?

In case you haven’t heard, Girls Can’t Catch were dropped.

While I was admittedly critical of the girls when they first launched last year (the name was never going to be okay in my eyes), “Keep Your Head Up” was a solid grower along with “Echo,” and the songs that I’d heard from their recently leaked album samplers were pretty good, generally speaking.

Please do yourselves a favor and head over to PopJustice to read an honest, thoughtful reflection on the incredibly short lived project.

Most striking to me was this point, which truly nailed the frustration I sometimes feel with the pop industry and fan forums:

Not every artist can be Girls Aloud or Lady Gaga, nor SHOULD every artist do what those acts have done. Girls Cant Catch were just a pop group, and their songs were just pop songs. And really, that’s fine. Pop doesn’t always need to smash boundaries. Here’s the news: if you only enjoy pop music that breaks pop’s boundaries, you are not really a pop fan.

To me, there’s a serious misconception that if pop music isn’t groundbreaking or high charting, it isn’t very good–which simply isn’t the case.

Let’s face it: Some of my favorite artists–Sophie Ellis-Bextor, The Saturdays, Rachel Stevens, and even Dannii Minogue–are very real examples near and dear to my heart that aren’t exactly known for breaking down the walls of pop or making waves in the singles charts, but that doesn’t mean they’re not brilliant pop stars in my eyes.

We all know who the major titans of pop are, and we celebrate and appreciate their music every day. I’m not suggesting we should embrace mediocrity, but what’s wrong with simply enjoying pop for pop’s sake?