Legendary mamacita, Nicki Minaj side-eye shade thrower, and thoroughly free of all flaw Queen J. Lo just called in to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to premiere her brand new RedOne-produced dance floor banga, “Dance Again,” which will either be the lead single from her upcoming eighth studio album or from a greatest hits collection. She don’t know yet!

(Translation: If this one’s a smash, she’s going with a new album.)

Despite her jam-packed schedule working behind the judge’s booth on American Idol, it appears as though Jenny’s got a whole lot of other things she’d like to be doing with her time as well.

Her grueling to-do list, in no particular order:

1.) Dance.

2.) Love.

3.) Dance Again.

The blazin’ hot track also features professional bulge Pitbull, who offers insightful commentary throughout regarding the one subject closest to his heart: His global reach. “Is he really worldwide? Uh, yes!” Mr. Worldwide decides aloud. Finally, the debate is over!

Also of note: The beat from Pitbull’s verse is lifted directly from Nightcrawlers‘ 1992 House smash “Push The Feeling On,” which Pitbull already sampled (in a different section of the song) for 2009′s “Hotel Room Service.” From this, we can deduce two things: 1.) Pitbull really fucking loves “Push The Feeling On” and 2.) We’re now entering the seventh circle of Reductive Hell.

Now, look: Is “Dance Again” sonically identical to “On The Floor,” “Papi,” and every other uptempo banga on Lopez’s quite amazing seventh studio album, LOVE? Oh, yes. Does Kat Deluna reserve the right to remain thoroughly pressed about the fact that Jenny is quite literally snatching song after song from her Belgium-only album, Inside Out? Indeed!

But you know what? It’s Jennifer Lopez! She can be as reductively derivatively generic as she likes, and I’m still going to go H.A.M. for whatever she’s serving. When the DJ bumps some Jenny up in the club, I lose my mind, my clothes, and whatever tiny shred of dignity that’s been hanging by a string from my bedazzled jock strap for the duration of the night.

Therefore, I do declare “Dance Again” a smash!

VIVA LA J. LO!

“Dance Again” will be released on April 2. (iTunes)

Nicki Minaj has a new song out. It’s called “Starships” and it’s, well…amazing. And entirely derivative. (It’s a theme this week, apparently.)

In fact, the RedOne-produced “Starships” (which was co-produced and penned by Carl Falk, Rami Yacoub and Wayne Hector) is almost impressively derivative, “borrowing” from nearly every Top 10 radio hit of 2011 (including one of Minaj’s own): The opening guitar lick of P!nk‘s “Raise Your Glass,” the surging pulse of David Guetta‘s “Where Them Girls At (feat. Flo Rida & Minaj),” the beat breakdown of LMFAO‘s “Party Rock Anthem,” the rallying “Whoa-oh-oh-oh!” cry of Britney‘s “Till The World Ends,” and the bridge of Chris Brown‘s “Yeah 3x.” It’s almost like one of those DJ Earworm year end mash-ups…except, you know, not.

As a result, the song’s a lot like Mizz Minaj’s Grammy Award performance on Sunday–completely nuts o’clock. But unlike Mizz Minaj’s Grammy Award performance on Sunday, I’m actually having some fun this time around.

Like “Super Bass,” “Starships” sees Minaj moving further and further away from her rap roots (RIP Mixtape Minaj) into pop territory, now relying on drunk club-pop (a la her latest collaboration with David Guetta, “Turn Me On”) to propel her to new heights. And while the rapping is left to a minimum, it’s still classic Minaj brand insanity, bouncing between the beach, to refusing to pay rent–even briefly championing gay rights: “Fuck who you want, fuck who you’d like!”

Sure, it’s frivolous and almost shamefully mindless–that’s the point, according to Minaj. From Seacrest:

I’ve never had this much fun recording music in my life. My first album I was very guarded. I felt like I was making music to please everyone else. I had to be politically correct, but this album I am just creating music, and it there’s such a big difference. Literally in the studio we were cracking up laughing, having fun, and enjoying ourselves. The music itself your going to get every side that I’ve ever shown and then a little bit extra. I’ve tried to make it very, very balanced, because I don’t ever want to be boxed in, and that’s always what drives me. So I made a very diverse album.

Honestly, it’s just nice to see that Godney’s influence is still going strong in 2012.

As if she wasn’t enough of a polarizing figure in pop, Minaj is bound to further ensconce her haters, enamor her lovers, or, as I suspect to be the case with most people, result in the same begrudging reaction I had to Katy Perry‘s “Part Of Me”:

Goddammit, that’s good.

HIGHER THAN A MOTHAFUCKA!

“Starships” was released on February 14. (iTunes)

In September of 2010, the world (well, the UK) watched as a jittery Worcestershire-born girl named Cher Lloyd strolled across the stage–suited in a a fitted black jacket and shredded white jeans–to audition for the X Factor. After a brief grilling by the judges regarding her name and age (“You look more!” Louis Walsh exclaimed after learning she was only 16 years old), Lloyd announced she’d be performing (Keri Hilson‘s cover of) Soulja Boy‘s “Turn My Swag On.”

And then she opened her mouth to sing.

Read more…

Havana Brown is a popular Australian DJ.

When she’s not serving as the opening act for some of MuuMuse’s top pop acts during their Australian leg of their tours–including Rihanna (Good Girl Gone Bad Tour), the Pussycat Dolls (Doll Domination Tour) and the Legendary Miss Brit Brit (The Circus Tour: Starring Britney Spears)–she’s busy mixing tracks for her successful compilation series, Crave.

Earlier this year, the flawless disc jockey released her first-ever single: “We Run The Night,” an off the charts, bomb-dot-com explosion of pulsating synths and gigantic beat breakdowns co-written and produced by Aussie singer Cassie Davis and producer Snob Scrilla. The massive club stormer (and one of the best dance tracks of the year) went on to go double platinum and earn Brown a #5 spot on the ARIA Singles Chart.

Due to her single’s major success overseas, Brown revealed to fans on her Facebook last week that the song was being prepped for stateside release. YAY! So what did the label heads over at Universal Music decide to do before shipping out to precious American ears? Why, hire Gaga hit-maker RedOne to slap on some extra beats and a verse by everyone’s favorite radio perv Pitbull, of course! …OH.

The newly leaked re-rub of the track is a (largely unnecessary) mix ‘n’ match of the original, including a few extra RedOne bouncy beats and a boner-killing restructure that sticks the first beat drop at the very beginning of the song–thus ruining the song’s original build-up. And as for that grating Pitbull verse? About as necessary as a cold sore. (Funnily enough, listening to any Pitbull verse usually results in the development of a cold sore.)

Now don’t get me wrong here: “We Run The Night” is still a supreme club cut, and I’m so excited to hear it blasting out in clubs stateside! This new version crafted for the States is just sort of, err…extraneous and overly commercial. Oh well!

“We Run The Night” will be released on September 27. (iTunes Australia)

Nicole Scherzinger – “I’m Gonna” (Unreleased)

Kweens, rejoice!

Blessed beauty Nicole Scherzinbehindthesehazeleyeser has just sprung a leak–and she’s serving up some serious ’90′s House RuPaul realness!

“I’m Gonna,” produced by remix aficionado Dave Aude, is but a scrap picked up from the ground of the Killer Love sessions. And while it’s easy to understand why the House-infused throwback track didn’t make the thoroughly modern RedOne tracklisting of Scherzy’s long-delayed debut, that doesn’t mean that this isn’t one of the best solo cuts Scherzy’s ever served up!

Packed to the brim with luscious piano chords and a relentless, feel-good ’90′s House beat, Nicole’s gone and made like Brit Brit on her Inner City lovin’ Femme Fatale bonus track “Up & Down” and borrowed from the past, heavily sampling Bizarre Inc.‘s #1 1992 Billboard Dance hit, “I’m Gonna Get You.”

“I’m gonna get you, baby…I’m gonna get you, yes I am!” she proudly declares atop the fresh, funky club rhythms. YASSSS!

This is some good ‘ish. This is some dance-’round-the-room ‘ish. This is that ‘ish you just know Kimberly Wyatt puts her face on to before hitting the stage at 4 A.M. to host the nightly drag revue in London (in which Carmit Bachar performs.)

WORRRRRRK, MAMA!

Well, Madonna may not be working with RedOne anytime soon…but Cher is.

The legendary entertainer took to Twitter early Thursday morning to announce an exciting “secret” she’d been waiting all of forever to tell her fans:

Just walked in from studio ! I Finished 1st track on new cd &……..”GAGA ” ” YOU ARE THE GREATEST THING TO ME “

Naturally, the general response was universal: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, CHER.

After a few more minutes, the icon regained consciousness/someone on Team Cher took control of the bejeweled Blackberry clenched between her hands and finished the thought:

It’s not a duet ! Who knows ? I Did Hold her “Meat Purse” haha! One can wish! It’s one of her songs & she & Redone gave it to me 4 my cd ! Wait ! I would love duet with GaGa, but She Gave Me GREAT Song & I’m beyond Grateful!!!! It’s called ” The Greatest Thing “

So there you have it: Cher has recorded a song with RedOne. Penned by Lady Gaga. And guess what? You can already hear it now.

This Lady Gaga demo–originally dubbed “The Greatest”–first leaked on the web over a year ago. And as Cher originally tweeted, the song contains the phrase “You are the greatest thing to me.”

Admittedly it does sound very post-1998 Cher, what with the overly Auto-tuned vocals and all. But…is this a good enough song for Cher? Is this real life? What is love? (Baby, don’t hurt me.) Okay, so…but…

Like Lily said: I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore.

START SCREAMING NOW.

Two of the UK’s leading boy bands, JLS and The Wanted, are about to release the lead singles from both of their upcoming studio albums this summer. Two summery club anthems. Two boy bands. AT THE SAME TIME. And to make matters even better–both songs have just premiered on UK radio!

Let’s explore, yes?

And now, Lady Gaga performing “Judas” for the first time ever.

Donning her best Britney at the 1999 VMA’s skin-tight couture (I keed, I keed), Mademoiselle Gagz and her troupe of pious prancers turned out a semi-spastic, mildly epileptic rendition of her latest RedOne-produced smash.

The Lady also sat down and spoke with Ellen prior to her performance to discuss her fans, her fashion, and “feeling like a loser” in her latest HBO special sneak peek. Oh, and her surrealist mole of course!

Watch for the “Judas” music video to premiere during next Thursday’s episode of American Idol.

“Judas” was released on April 15. (iTunes)