BOW THE FUCK DOWN.

Princess RiRi took to the stage of American Idol tonight to perform her upcoming US single, “California King Bed.”

The performance was–without exaggeration–Rihanna’s greatest live vocal performance yet. She hits every single note, arguably besting the studio version of the song. It must be seen to be believed!

Apart from the flawless delivery, Ri looked absolutely stunning in her floor-length gown, backed by a gorgeous stage veiled in smoke, curtains, and dancers decked out in all white.

I’m so proud of you, RiRi! I love you! Rihanna Navy forever!

Sexy fan art courtesy of Pop Boi.

SIT DOWN AND STOP BREATHING BECAUSE LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE MATTERS TODAY: THE “S&M” REMIX IS HERE.

The new mix of Rihanna’s “S&M,” featuring a brand new verse from Godney (along with gobs of delicious yelps and moans), officially landed to radio early this morning, and it is simply…BEYOND.

I love the way B sings “boudoir”! And that final signature moan! Also: “Tap out or scream mercy, it’s your turn to hurt me.” Seriously quivering in my Brit Brit Uggs and ripped stockings right now!!!

Such weird, strong vocals from The Holy Spearit–I absolutely LOVE it!

Also, I’m also very much not over the fact that the two pop princesses join together to sing “S S S &…M M M!” at the same time. Every time I hear it, I picture the two of them merrily chanting together on a see-saw while Ri whips her hair and B slurps on a lollipop.

RiRiney is truly the Donna Summer/Barbra Streisand collaboration of the new millennium.

Legendary. Defining. Iconic. Slayed. Coffin. Fin.

I LIKE IT, LIKE IT…COME ON!

The Britney Spears remix of Rihanna’s “S&M” was released today. (iTunes)

PUT DOWN THE ANGRY BIRDS AND LITERALLY STOP YOUR FUCKING LIFE.

So, okay: You know when you’re with your closest pop friends sipping appletinis and giddily discussing of all your favorite dream collaborations? And then someone throws in: “Wait, what if Britney and Rihanna did a song together?” And then everyone in the group makes swooning noises, followed by a chorus of “I can’t even” happening in unison? And then some Debbie Downer in the group breaks the mood with a long, sad sigh and goes: “Well, that’ll never happen”?

WELL, GUESS WHAT? IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED.

Queen Godney is set to appear on a brand new remix of Princess RiRi‘s Top 10 smash, “S&M,” as confirmed by a drool-worthy Twitter exchange between the two mega pop stars:

According to Rap-Up, the remix “is expected to hit radio as soon as Monday.”

O OK SO I AM DEAD NAO. BAI BAI.

After the smashing success of her first two singles, “Happiness” and “Good Girl” (which hit #3 and #6 on the UK Singles Chart, respectively), Alexis Jordan is about to prepare the third single from her self-titled debut: “Hush Hush.”

Jordan’s latest effort, produced by Norwegian pop production masters StarGate (the duo acted as executive producers of her album), bounces along the same dark, throbbing beats and soaring synthesizers as Rihanna‘s “Don’t Stop The Music,” “S&M” and “Only Girl (In The World).” (All three of which were commandeered by–you guessed it: Stargate!)

With its delicious, remix-ready beat and a chorus as equally infectious as her last two releases, “Hush Hush” is yet another shining moment for the burgeoning 19-year-old starlet–no doubt set to make a major splash when released in May.

“Hush Hush” will be released on May 8. (iTunes UK)

Hail RiRi, full of grace…

Lady Fenty graces the cover of April’s Rolling Stone to talk about boyfriends, Battleship and her current hit, S&M.”

From Rolling Stone:

Rihanna’s hit single “S&M” is semi-autobiographical. “Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun,” she says. “You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your shit. That’s fun to me…I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned – you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I’d rather have him use his hands.”

Now, if only she’d stop being so shy.

Ready for more LOVE?

J-Lo dialed in to On Air With Ryan Seacrest this morning to preview one of the new songs from her upcoming studio album LOVE?: “Into You (feat. Lil Wayne).”

Lopez’s second selection from LOVE? glides into the speakers a cool, free-flowing Carribean breeze recalling Rihanna‘s “What’s My Name?” and Keri Hilson‘s “Lose Control,” bringing down the BPM from her mega-smash lead single, “On The Floor.”

“When I look into your eyes it’s over / you got me hooked with your love controller,” Lopez croons above the mid-tempo beat.

Looking forward to hearing the rest? Head over to La Lopez’s official Facebook page and “like” the song to have it unlocked and sent to iTunes early. “Like” to Love?–get it? (I think it’s genius marketing, personally.)

LOVE? will be released in May. (iTunes)

To review a new Britney Spears record, for me, is a bit like asking a crazed pageant mother if she believes her daughter is a star.

Sure, she might have spilled apple juice (or Cheetos, more fittingly) all over her glitz costume, forgotten the steps to her baton routine halfway through the performance and fallen asleep onstage, but in the end, she’s still Miss Grand Supreme in my eyes.

This is what journalists often refer to as “full disclosure.” With all that being said…let’s do this.

If I said my heart was beating loud…

Princess Rihanna will grace newsstands next month on the cover of the April 2011 issue of Vogue.

Make sure to check out all the gorgeous new photos and read the full article (scans here), in which the Bajan beauty basically throws shade at the surrounding crowd while sitting courtside at a L.A. Clippers vs. Miami Heat basketball game. It is literally amazing…and so, so very RiRi.

She’s such a fuckin’ lady!