THIS IS IT, as one of the X Factor judges famously sang 17 years ago (oh my God, 17 years?!): The STAR-STUDDED X Factor final show is finally upon us!

And thank God, because I’m totally over it.

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There was a lot of love in the air this year at the BRIT Awards. Not between the artists and the hosts, God no!–there was hardly any of that going on between all the cracking, bitchy commentary–but rather for the audience. There was Cheryl Cole fighting for our love as only she knows how, Florence Welch delivering hers to us with the help of an unfortunate rap interlude, and yes–even Courtney Love herself.

Let us now cycle through some the best, worst, and weirdest moments of the night. Love to love you, baby!

10. In A UK State of Mind

Nothing is as epic sounding as when Jay-Z and Alicia Keys perform “Empire State of Mind” together, but watching one of the greatest modern celebrations of New York go down in Londontown felt a bit, err..off.

Then again, this may be due to Lil Mama‘s absence–you were truly missed tonight.

9. Doing it For The Adults

Host: “You’re performing a medley…doing some oldies?”

Robbie Williams: “Yeah, mostly oldies, because the new stuff’s shit.”

8. Over-saturated with Spice

At first came euphoria. Then nostalgia. Then, way too much of a good thing. It was wonderful seeing (two fifths) of the Spice Girls win their award for the “Best Performance in 30 Years” category, but it soon became clear that the producers of the show had few celebrities to help buy time between the performances aside from Mel B and Geri. Again and again, the cameras cut to one of the two, and each time, it got a bit more painful: Awkward banter about living in L.A.! Geri wishing she knew the words to a Lady Gaga song! Next time, just cut to a still frame of Victoria Beckham frowning for two minutes. Our lives would be better, I assure you.

7. JLS Wins

Twice. And no one cares (aside from the audible boos.)

6. Whoa-oh-oh, I’m on a Rocket (And Drugs!)

Lily Allen, who opted for the “Joan Collins on crack” look came in on a sadly sinking rocket while performing “The Fear,” and then it all just sort of fell to pieces from there. Dancers! And colors! And baby carriages! And now we’re stage left! And now over to the right! I don’t know what just happened, Lily’s got no clue where she is, and I think I just saw Lady Gaga and Courtney Love making out in the audience.

5. Can’t Read My Telephone Face

Looking a bit like the Bridge of Frankenstein twice dabbled in cocaine dreams, Mademoiselle Gaga indulged the audience in an acoustic version of “Telephone” (the song about getting drunk in the club was performed in tribute to Lee McQueen, interesting choice), before launching into an all-too anticipation ridden, fragmented rendition of “Dance in the Dark.”

Sadly, by the time the singer collapsed in vogue following the song’s, well, “Vogue”-esque breakdown, so too did the performance, effectively blue balling the entirety of Britain and cutting short what could have been an outrageously epic performance. Still, I loved the use of the free-standing keytar…and the towering statue of the pop star herself, of course.

Subtle, as per usual.

4. Everybody’s Starry Eyed

Ellie Goulding wins the Critic’s Choice Award! (Pictured here with producer and friend, Starsmith).

3. Lily Alkie

Lily Allen, now opting for the “Joan Collins on crack in an orange wig” look, came bumbling on stage to accept her award for British Female Solo Act. After accepting the award on stage came this moment of brilliance backstage:

Host: “How are you going to celebrate Lily?”
Lily: “I’m…uh…I don’t know. Drink, maybe.”

2. You’ve (Almost) Got the Love

Everything about Florence’s performance tonight was lovely and almost perfect: The flowing gown and fiery red hair, the spot-on vocals, the fluttering hearts that cascaded at the song’s finale. So why almost The daft choice to add Dizzee Rascal into the mix, resulting in what felt like long bursts of static disrupting a listening session of “You’ve Got The Love.” If only Dizzee wasn’t so busy buzzing around the stage like an overgrown gnat, this would have truly been the most lover-ly performance of the night.

All of my love to Florence for nabbing the most absolutely deserved “Album of the Year” award at the end of the night. I couldn’t be prouder!

1. Show Me The Love!

We’ve got the love, right here: Cheryl Cole’s showstopping performance of “Fight For This Love” was hands down the performance of the night. By the time the opening notes of Robin S‘s “Show Me Love” came sizzling in for a surprise remix (quickly followed by a flock of shirtless men) I was growing faint and Cheryl was growing even fiercer by the second. Shaking and crying, etc. etc. etc. AMAZING.

And now, the MuuMuse tweet of the night:

I don’t know who this Lady Gaga person is but he is on a ROLL tonight. #britawards

There’s more where that came from. Follow me on Twitter, Muusers!

Robbie Williams has a new album coming out on November 9.

It is called Reality Killed The Video Star.

The album has tracks–thirteen of them, in fact. They are:

Morning Sun
Bodies
You Know Me
Blasphemy
Do You Mind?
Last Days Of Disco [Editor's Note: !!!]
Somewhere
Deceptacon
Starstruck
Difficult For Weirdos
Superblind
Won’t Do That
Morning Sun Reprise

The album was produced by Trevor Horn. You know, the man behind Grace Jones‘ “Slave To The Rhythm” and the Pet Shop Boys‘ Fundamental.

The first single off of the album is called “Bodies,” which you can hear streaming in full here.

And now, a moment, from the album’s press release:

Continuing to talk about the album, Robbie says; “I want people to feel elated, I want them to dance, I want them to forget about who they are and where they are for 50 minutes – and, within those 50 minutes of forgetting who they are, I also hope people relate to the songs. This is a record that I’m very proud of – I think it’s fucking brilliant. I want it to be the record that, if people think of Robbie Williams, they go, “Yeah, Reality Killed The Video Star”.

As you can probably tell, this album has many things going for it.

Madonna‘s clearly in the full swing of things with the promotion for her new album, Hard Candy. To the left is one of the pictures from her spread in Vanity Fair. Click on read more to see some additional scans from the magazine. I love the look of this particular photo shoot, as bend-and-crotch friendly as it may be. She also did a story for Elle, and the cover is right here:

Drowned Madonna has also posted a bunch of new stills from the upcoming video for “4 Minutes”, so click here to see them. It appears that there will be some sort of sassy dance off with Justin in front of a giant digital clock, as well as some clothing and skin removal. A bit Robbie Williams of her…Oh, and she looks very 2002 “Music” here. Most importantly from all of the leaked screen captures, the appearance of those hot tranny mess shoes from the single cover:

EDIT: The screen captures are simply pouring in now…it’s only a matter of time before the full video leaks. Head on over to MadonnaTribe’s exclusive display of caps right here, featuring a very exposed Justin Timberlake:

Put some Neosporin on it love, you’re going to get a nasty case of gangrene.

This is too excellent to ignore. Robbie William’s buckling label, EMI, has decided to use his last album Rudebox for a slightly different purpose: walking. The company is sending one million of Robbie’s unsold albums over to China in order to be crushed and paved to create roads and street lighting. See the full story at NME.