As the countdown trails to zero and the lights plummet into total darkness, the screen above the stage fills with the image of Spears–the Femme Fatale. Brandishing a gun, she feverishly bolts past security cameras; her signature blonde locks bobbing up and down as she scales barbed-wire fences and shoots at her pursuers as only a true Badassney could.

She is escaping–running away from a S.W.A.T. team, while deliciously dolled up in a full glitz outfit. (Don’t all super sexy assassins incorporate a little glitter into their wardrobe?)

Ultimately she’s caught at some point and wrestled to the ground, kicking and screaming all the way down. But as she’s unwillingly slammed over the hood of a police car, she glares mischievously into the windshield at us and purrs seductively: “I’m not that innocent.”

Just at that moment, the screens above the stage immediately begin to split in half and smoke pours from within as the Holy Spearit herself comes rolling in on a giant metal “Hold It Against Me” platform. Glittering, though still to dark to see her, she stands locked and loaded–awaiting the moment as the driving beat starts to pulsate through the arena. And then, although no one could possibly hear it above all the shrieking, she fires: “Hey, over there…”

Would you hold it against me?

Nicole Scherzinger – “I’m Gonna” (Unreleased)

Kweens, rejoice!

Blessed beauty Nicole Scherzinbehindthesehazeleyeser has just sprung a leak–and she’s serving up some serious ’90′s House RuPaul realness!

“I’m Gonna,” produced by remix aficionado Dave Aude, is but a scrap picked up from the ground of the Killer Love sessions. And while it’s easy to understand why the House-infused throwback track didn’t make the thoroughly modern RedOne tracklisting of Scherzy’s long-delayed debut, that doesn’t mean that this isn’t one of the best solo cuts Scherzy’s ever served up!

Packed to the brim with luscious piano chords and a relentless, feel-good ’90′s House beat, Nicole’s gone and made like Brit Brit on her Inner City lovin’ Femme Fatale bonus track “Up & Down” and borrowed from the past, heavily sampling Bizarre Inc.‘s #1 1992 Billboard Dance hit, “I’m Gonna Get You.”

“I’m gonna get you, baby…I’m gonna get you, yes I am!” she proudly declares atop the fresh, funky club rhythms. YASSSS!

This is some good ‘ish. This is some dance-’round-the-room ‘ish. This is that ‘ish you just know Kimberly Wyatt puts her face on to before hitting the stage at 4 A.M. to host the nightly drag revue in London (in which Carmit Bachar performs.)

WORRRRRRK, MAMA!

If you’re anything like me (God help your soul), you kept it tuned in on the weekly for the latest nail-biting season of RuPaul’s Drag Race on LOGO as Raja eagerly snatched the crown for Queen of Season 3.

So what’s a girl to do once the fairy dust settles and the pageantry officially begins? Why, release a dance single of course!

“Diamond Crowned Queen” is Raja’s debut single, which was released on May 3.

While the original mix of the song always played a little bit too, err…erratic for my taste (yes, erratic–let’s go with that), the newly released remix by MuuMuse friend Prince Vince is nothing but pure sweat and sex (for dinner!)

Prince Vince’s take on the track will have you sweating off your falsies and fanning yourself with your chicken cutlets in five seconds flat, featuring a slew of deep, throbbing beats and sexy stabs of electronica–a delish club dish for certain!

So come with me all you thunder-breathing dragons and get into the mix!

OFFICIAL Raja – Diamond Crowned Queen (Prince Vince Remix) by Prince Vince

“Diamond Crowned Queen” was released on May 3. (iTunes)

There’s no hope for humanity if this album doesn’t achieve world peace.

In a pop climate chock full of self-empowerment–from Lady Gaga‘s “Born This Way” to Katy Perry‘s “Firework” to Beyonce‘s “Run The World (Girls)” to P!nk‘s “Raise Your Glass” to Ke$ha‘s “We R Who We R”–it’s hard to flip to a Top 40 radio station and not hear a single scorching dance number set to the tune of tolerance.

But lest we’re all forget, RuPaul‘s already been beating that synth drum for the past twenty years.

From 1992′s “Supermodel (You Better Work)” to 2004′s “Looking Good, Feeling Gorgeous” to 2009′s “Jealous Of My Boogie,” every inch of RuPaul’s glitter-encrusted career has been spent preaching the virtues of self-love. As she famously signs off each episode of her LOGO reality show, RuPaul’s Drag Race: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gon’ love somebody else?”

In 2009, RuPaul released her fourth studio album: Champion, a solid collection of uptempo club cuts produced by L.A. based composer and producer, Lucian Piane (perhaps best known as RevoLucian, producer of amazing parody remixes including the still incredible Christian Bale on-set freak out mix, “Bale Out”.)

Now, nearly two years later, RuPaul returns with a brand new collection: Glamazon, an album set to send Champion and skyrocketing into the next dimension of sound.

MuuMuse had the opportunity to chat with Ru’s musical producer Lucian Piane about the upcoming release, recording with Ru, and just what she’s got up her sleeve–sorry, weave for her next album. So what you waiting for, hunty?

You better WORK.

All wigs have been officially snatched.

RuPaul just tweeted the album art for her upcoming studio album Glamazon, which looks like the missing cover art between Grace Jones‘ late ’70′s disco records: Portfolio, Fame and Muse. Absolutely STUNNING!

One of the best album covers of the year thus far…if not the best. Hands down!

Glamazon will be released on April 25. (iTunes)

HALLELU RU!

RuPaul will be releasing a brand new album in April entitled Glamazon, according to her latest tweet. From her Twitter:

My new album “GLAMAZON” is my personal mantra set to music. Be fabulous, feel great & above all…LOVE YOURSELF! Coming in April!

The album is being produced by Lucian Piane, the same producer responsible for her sensational 2009 record, Champion. (Check out the original MuuMuse album review from back in April of ’09!)

While we wait to hear the new material, let’s re-appreciate with Ru’s “Jealous Of My Boogie”–a true anthem!

WORK.

Glamazon will be released in April. (iTunes)

Mya‘s back!

Much like every other act this side of the ’10′s, Mya’s gone and shed her R&B roots in favor of a good ol’ synth machine to assist in her dance-inspired return to the music scene–perhaps inspired by her recent stint on the ninth season of Dancing With The Stars. Well…that, or she’s gone and listened to Pop radio for, like, fifteen minutes to see what the kids are listening to these days.

To my giddy delight, the singer will attempt to break two major territories at the same time: America and…Japan! Eee! DID SOMEONE SAY J-POP? ^.^ (Oh God. I’m sorry for that.)

After the release of her first Japanese album in 2008 (Sugar & Spice), Mya is now continuing to pursue a Japanese recording career with “Fabulous Life,” released on January 19 on iTunes Japan.

As The Prophet Blog reported, the song was co-produced by Jeff Miyahara, producer of such gems as AI‘s “Fake (feat. Namie Amuro)” and Crystal Kay‘s “One.” It was also co-produced by Fredro, the Swedish producer responsible for one of my favorite tracks from Jessica Mauboy‘s latest album.

“Fabulous Life” is genuinely adorable–a clearly J-Pop inspired, glittery little electro-pop ditty. It’s like Britney‘s “Anticipating”! Except more Japanese and stuff. I LOVE to bits and pieces!

If it were warmer ’round these parts, you know I’d be blasting this jam with the windows down while I was driving around town. For now, I guess I’ll just listen to it while I’m shoveling.

The second single in question–the Cedric Gervais-produced “Love Is The Answer”–is Mya’s offering for the North American territories.

A bit RuPaul, a dash of Donna Summer circa 2008 (Crayons, y’all!), Mya’s other offering blares into the speakers with an onslaught of ravey, hi-octane synthesizers a la Madonna‘s “Celebration.” “Love is the answer to all your problems,” the singer sweetly croons atop the hectic chorus. It’s no “My Love Is Like…Wo,” and certainly no “Case of the Ex,” but it’ll do for now.

Click here to listen to an extended preview of “Love Is The Answer,” courtesy of E! Online.

According to the E! article, Mya is currently working on both her seventh and eighth studio albums. We here at MuuMuse can’t wait to hear ‘em–especially that J-Pop record. Sock it to me!

“Fabulous Life” was released on January 19. (iTunes Japan)

For weeks, I’d heard rumblings that RuPaul was preparing the release of a new album called Champion, set for release after the finale of her Logo show, RuPaul’s Drag Race. Admittedly, aside from the obvious work (“Supermodel”) , I’d never really given the girl much thought–much less did I think she could entertain for an entire album’s worth of time.

I’ve since learned: Never underestimate a drag queen and her disco.

At almost fifty years old now (just how old is that in drag years, anyway?) RuRu proves she’s still ready to dance with Champion, a fabulous collection of stomping, hands-in-the-air dance gems. No purple leotards, no disco sticks…just a microphone and a weave-ful of fierce.

As one might expect, RuPaul dominates with the tracks crafted especially for the dancefloor, including “Jealous Of My Boogie” and “LadyBoy.” Sure, there’s plenty of silly on the surface, but underneath is an equally addictive series of beckoning bass lines and squeaky synth hooks.

Despite commanding a surprisingly capable voice however, Ru indulges in a fair share of the AutoTune technique that has become so popular with the kids these days. I suppose it’s for good reason: Lest we forget, it was the original Drag Queen herself, Cher, who did the damn thing first with “Believe” back in ’98, so why shouldn’t the queens have their warbling robo-sounds back once again?

As per usual with a dance-pop album, it’s always refreshing to hear something other than a “booty on the floor” number which is why tracks like “Champion,” “Main Event,” and “Destiny Is Mine” especially soar, laced with positive messages in line with some of Ru’s motivational mantras like “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” A little positive energy and a lot of motivation–now that’s something worth celebrating.

The same goes for “Never Go Home Again,” which is perhaps the album’s shining peak. Starting off as a slightly melodramatic torch tale of breaking free from a bad situation at home, Ru soars higher and higher above ripples of moody disco throbs only a hair below the production level of Madge‘s Confessions On A Dancefloor until finally bursting into fuller trance euphoria of acceptance: “Babies take flight, never say never / There’s a home for you here where love is unconditional.”

By the time “Devil Made Me Do It” and “Put Your Hands Up” (featuring Lady Bunny) roll around, all that body glitter and eyelash glue start drying up and the fun meter verges on empty (perhaps you’re simply out of Ecstacy at this point). It doesn’t matter though, because you’ve already spent the better part of the album dancing the night away.

Honestly, by the time the fourth track “Tranny Chaser” comes rolling around with its infectious snaps, claps, and tongue-in-chic silliness rocking back and forth (“May the fierce be with you!”), it’s clear that Ru’s already shut down the game. Oh, and since you’re wondering: Yeah, the song is as good as the title implies.

DL: RuPaul – LadyBoy