LITERALLY STOP YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

It’s Britmas, y’all!

I first discovered Nicki Minaj back in December of 2009 through a promotional video for “Itty Bitty Piggy,” one of the tracks off of Minaj’s 2009 mixtape, Beam Me Up Scotty.

Gum snapping, eyes rolling, breasticles ready to burst from her tight blouse at any given moment–I knew it was love at first sight.

Read More…

Look, I remembered to do this again!

Here are the top five tracks of the week–and yes, there’s a repeat entry from last time. Deal with it.

Merry Easter, Muusers!

MuuMuse Approved Tracks for the Week of April 5, 2010

5. Paradiso Girls – Patron Tequila
An older song, yes. The burst of warm weather this week had me longing for some summer jams. When will these ladies get their act together and release their debut already? “Who want to get fucked up?” you ask? I DO, I DO.
4. Christina Aguilera – Not Myself Tonight
Sometimes I think it’s shit, and sometimes I find it to be amazing. In the end, it’s all about “And if you don’t like it, fuck you.” Defiance is an automatic win!
3. Sophie Ellis-Bextor – Bittersweet
A true disco gem, both modern and timeless. It’s set to become the official MuuMuse summer anthem of 2010!
2. Lindsay Lohan – Stuck
Electro-rock mixed with somewhat prophetic, true-to-life lyricism? Perfect. Everything about this song makes me salivate for her scrapped third studio album.
1. Nicki Minaj – Massive Attack (ft. Sean Garrett)
It’s barbie, bitches: Coming through like a big rocket launchuh, my beloved is poised to sweep the floor clean with her militant debut single. We got tom toms over here BIGGAH DEN A MONSTAH!

Attention all toy soldiers: Get your guns up–it’s time to attack!

Nicki Minaj has officially deployed her debut Sean Garrett-penned single, “Massive Attack,” to radio tonight.

The song is a full-on assault of marching bass and squealing synths as Minaj spits swifter and harder than ever before. It’s a stomper, it’s a monster…it’s Barbie, bitch!

I AM IN LOVE.

Feel unprepared to join the Harajuku Barbie Army? Don’t be a garbage patch kid–better check yourself with a quick read of the Nictionary.

HOOAHHHH!

It’s Harajuku Barbie time!

First up is the graphic novel-inspired video debut for “Roger That,” the Young Money collaboration track featuring Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne, and Tyga. It’s a shame that so much of her verse was censored, but still…I’ll take it.

Note the (all-too-brief) glimpses of Minaj wearing Madge in the video. Brilliant, love her so much, etc. etc.

Secondly, in an interview with Rap-Up, Minaj revealed that her debut single will be a Sean Garrett produced track called “Massive Attack.” The whispers through the e-grapevine suggest that the song will premiere sometime in the next week.

Roger dat! Didja copy that, cuh cuh-copycat?!

Photo courtesy of Suck.com.

Year-end wrap up lists are nice and all, but it’s the “Most Anticipated” lists that are way more fun for me to read. The rumors! The possibilities! The inability to foresee a terrible album in the making! Who can resist the sweet, succulent taste of possibility?

Of course, there are dozens of albums being released, and I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface as far as what to expect. Nonetheless, I wanted to run down a few of my own personally anticipated releases for the new year.

So, without further ado, let’s roll out some of the biggest releases hitting shelves sometime in the next year. This will be the year of some ‘Sweet 7′s, it appears!

Sade, Soldier of Love (Sixth studio album)

What it is: The band’s first release in about a decade.
Expected shelf date: February 8, 2010.
Produced by: Mike Pela, Sade.
What we know: The album’s title track is a stunning achievement. Could the album possibly be anything less?
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Smooth, icy vocals and warm jazz sounds.

Ellie Goulding, TBA (Debut Album)

What it is: An exciting, possibly incredible (though potentially dead-in-the-water) debut by 2009′s leading indie electro-pop up-and-comer.
Expected shelf date: According to Play.com, March 3, 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “Starry Eyed,” “Under the Sheets,” “Wish I Stayed”
Production by: Starsmith, Frankmusik
What we know: It’s been in the works for a while. She’s quirky, her music is interesting and fresh, and we haven’t heard a dud from her yet. Let’s just hope this is released before the hype catches up with her first.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: “Starry Eyed” and “Under the Sheets” repeated a dozen times over.

Kylie Minogue, TBA (Eleventh studio album)

What it is: Divine intervention. (That should totally be the album title!)
Expected shelf date: Unknown, probably 3Q or 4Q 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “Better Than Today”
Production by: Nerina Pallot
What we know: Hardly anything, aside from the fact that Kylie was looking to Barbarella for inspiration while recording in New York a few weeks ago.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: The slick, coquettish electronica of Body Language (“Slow”) mixed the with sophisticated, edgy dancefloor flow of X (“Speakerphone”). And a little less emphasis on the camp factor, s’il vous plait.

Girls Aloud, TBA (Sixth studio album)

What it is: A much-needed comeback album from the greatest girl group since the Spice Girls.
Production by: I mean…it has to be Xenomania, right?
Expected shelf date: Way, way later in 2010.
What we know: Nothing, aside from the fact that their official website confirmed an album slated for 2010.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: A shying away from the drum-and-bass sound and a prolonged stay in the territory of “Untouchable” and “Memory of You.”

Jennifer Lopez, Love? (Seventh Studio Album)

What it is: Jennifer ‘Lola J-Lo Jenny Rudebooty’ Lopez takes it to the streets once again to prove she still has ‘flava.’
Expected shelf date: April 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “Louboutins,” “Fresh Out The Oven,” Everybody’s Girl,” “What Is Love,” Starting Over,” “Beautiful,” “This Cannot Be Love,” “One Love,” “Keeper”
Production by: Mike Caren, The-Dream, Tricky Stewart, D’Mile, Danja, Darkchild, The Neptunes
What we know: Rap-Up’s write-up of the album preview includes terms like “electro-pop beat,” “slick uptempo production” and “guitar driven ballad.”
MuuMuse hopes to hear: A return to the dancefloor a la “Waiting for Tonight” with some guilty pleasure stompers like “Louboutins.” Minimal ballads, please.

Sugababes, Sweet 7 (Seventh Studio Album)

What it is: The grand unveiling of a new Sugababes era. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Jade, Amelle, and Heidi.
Expected shelf date: February 28, 2010
Confirmed tracks: “Get Sexy,” “About A Girl,” “Thank You For The Heartbreak,” “Miss Everything,” “Wear My Kiss”
Production by: RedOne, Sean Kingston, Ne-Yo, The Smeezingtons, Fernando Garibay
What we know: How half of the album sounds. The Sweet 7 album sampler featuring Keisha leaked onto the net a few months ago. However, there’s been talk of recording new tracks.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: What we’ve been hearing. Slick, modern production and a fierce new confidence never before honed by the original three line-ups: It’s time to let Sweet 7 go Vanity 6.

Röyksopp, Senior (Fourth studio album)

What it is: The ambient, down-tempo companion piece to one of 2009′s greatest albums, Junior.
Expected shelf date: Early 2010.
Confirmed tracks: “The Alcoholic,” “The Fear,” “Coming Home”
Production by: Royksopp
What we know: From TLOBF: “Senior is more withdrawn and introspective and create an atmosphere and an ambience, to sit down and if you don’t need constant loud information all the time that’s what Senior is all about.”
MuuMuse hopes to hear: A more sophisticated, contemplative extension of Melody AM.

Uffie, Sex Dreams and Denim Jeans (Debut album)

What it is: The incredibly overdue debut of an underground trash-pop queen in the making.
Confirmed tracks: “Pop the Glock,” “Hot Chick,” “MC’s Can Kiss”
Expected shelf date: February 14, 2010, according to The Guardian.
Production by: Mr. Oizo, Mirwais, Pharrell
What we know: “MC’s Can Kiss,” the upcoming single off of the album, is an old-school-hip-hop-meets-modern-beats orgy.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Sick beatz from some extremely talented producers…and a whole lot of trash talkin’.

Britney Spears, TBA (7th Studio Album)

What it is: Don’t even get me started…don’t even get me started.
Production by: Track submissions are pouring in from the likes of Darkchild, Max Martin, Sean Garrett, Danja, Fernando Garibay, David Guetta, and many more.
Expected shelf date: Though Digital Spy reports that Jive is looking for a May 2010 release, I can’t help but assume that we’ll see this around the same time we’ve always seen Britney releases for the past three albums–the very end of the year.
What we know: Nothing really.
MuuMuse hopes to hear: Icy R&B-infused electronica. Anything by Bloodshy & Avant. Anything in the direction of “And Then We Kiss.” Less Circus, more Blackout, but with soul. By the way, can we finally call this one Original Doll, Team Spears?

Honestly, It doesn’t even matter what it sounds like in the end. Why? Because it’s Britney, bitch. That’s why.

Anyway, here’s the long-awaited video for BoA‘s new single, “Energetic.”

Things that it is:
- Flashy.
- Colorful.
- Glossy.

Things that it is not:
- Energetic.

I love BoA, but what’s going on in this video? Far too many jump cuts, and not enough substance. Honestly, she’s one of the most talented dancers in the music industry (“I Did It For Love,” “BAD DRIVE” anyone?), so why not continue to drive that fact? This left me feeling a bit…stale.

It’s okay bb, I still love you. You still looked fierce and fresh to death regardless!

Click here to check out BoA’s interview with EW, where she reveals why getting in a car with her could prove fatal. Oh, and that she and I are apparently about to throw down in a no-holds-barred cage match for Zefron.

OH, AND SHE’S RE-RELEASING THE ALBUM.

I went to Atlanta last year and recorded “I Did It For Love” with Sean Garrett [the man behind hits for Beyonce, Usher, Ciara, and Chris Brown] and one more song is coming out for my repackaged album released in September — it’s the same as the first album but with added new songs. I also have one with Flo Rida, he was featured in my “Eat You Up” song.

I’m excited…I don’t really care how or when, I just want MORE. (MOAH?!)

Click below to hear more from BoA.

BoA is a global superstar. Having already moved a total of over 20 million units between Korea and Japan, the singer has released over 14 albums (not including compilations), 32 singles, dozens of prestigious musical and cultural awards, and gone on several nationwide tours since her debut in 2000.

Oh, and she’s only 22.

Debuting at the tender age of 14, BoA has continued to shatter records and defy expectations as an incredibly determined pop artist, showcasing both an incredible vocal range and superb command of intricate and innovative choreography. As a result, the entertainer has often been compared to Britney Spears because of their similarly successful pop careers, both built at an early age. But while Britney may have had her ups and downs in the music world, BoA has successfully maintained her popularity in Japan and Korea, continually releasing successful albums and singles to this day.

In 2008, BoA’s management announced plans to move into the Western world for an English debut album. Several press releases later, BoA’s first single, “Eat You Up,” premiered online in late 2008, along with a newly formed American website. Six months later on March 17, 2009, BoA’s self-titled debut officially marked BoA’s latest crossover into new territory.

Though the singer has been quite busy with promotional duties in both America and Japan, I had the wonderful privilege of speaking to her on the day of her English album’s debut–in English, no less! Though the language barrier did make itself apparent in parts of the interview, BoA’s excitable, chit-chatty nature was infectious, leading to a conversation mainly filled with giggles. In the few short minutes we spoke, we covered the new album, plans for her career post-America, her interests, and yes…even the Britney concert.

To say the least, it was utterly surreal. Aside from being an intense workaholic, BoA seems like an absolute sweetheart. Best of all, after I completely melted at the interview’s end and gushed about having all of her albums and posters, she called me “so sweet.”

STARSTRUCK.

So without further ado, here is the full audio and text of the conversation (click “Read More…” to expand the post). Though I firmly believe that my giggling fan boy voice pays myself no real compliment, I know that many fans would want to hear BoA’s conversational English. You’ve been warned accordingly–nervous fandom and old school microphones do not equate to a high quality recording.

P.S. Like my “Circus” ringtone? Haha.

(FIXED) AUDIO AND TEXT AFTER THE JUMP!

Hey BoA! How are you?

Fine, how are you?

I’m great! So, today’s March 17—that means today is the official debut of the album. I’m so excited…Congratulations!

Thank you!

I have to say, I just got the album in the mail about an hour ago and I’ve been listening to it ever since–

How is it? Do you like it?

I really do. I love it. It sounds like you put a lot of work into it.

Oh, thank you!

How long did it take to record the album?

Well, I think it took around two years.

Really?

Yeah, yeah (laughs). Because I had to go to Japan [for promotional duties], so we couldn’t go on recording constantly.

I had no idea it took so long…That’s cool! So I was listening to some of the lyrics on the album, and it’s definitely more mature than some of your past work. The songs aren’t like “Shine We Are,” all bubbly and sweet…it’s got more mature themes. Did you want to show that you were adult this time around?

Well, yeah…Because I’m an adult! (Laughs)

That makes sense (Laughs). What do you think your Japanese and Korean fans will think of this new sound?

Well, I hope they like this sound and keep supporting me…Hopefully, they’ll love this album. In Japan, I released my “best” album along with my US album so they can listen to both CD’s and enjoy them together.

The other thing I noticed is that the album is dance—no ballads. Was that just something that happened, or did you want it to be an album of all dance music?

I really wanted to make a hot dance album, so we just tried to make all types of dance music. I started working with producers like Bloodshy & Avant and Sean Garrett, and I guess I did a good job. I think the record came out really hot.

Yeah, you did! I watched your first single “Eat You Up” as it went up to the Top Ten on the Dance Charts.

Yes, thank you!

Now, “I Did It For Love” is coming out soon and I really, really do love that song.

(Laughs) It’s so catchy!

I have a feeling it’s going to go really high on the charts.

Yeah! We shot the music video at the end of January with Joseph Kahn. Sean Garrett was actually in the video too. It should be out at the end of March.

(Laughs)

I love it!

The rehearsal [for the video] was crazy. I was using chairs, hats, fans…lots of things like that.

So do you have a favorite song off of the album?

I would say “I Did It For Love,” definitely…I love it. I also really like “Energetic.”

So I remember, ever since your debut, there were rumors that you were finally coming to America…and now you finally did it. Is there any reason you decided to do it now?

Well, I just felt like this was the right time. We were finally all set for the album after we had been recording for so long. Actually, “I Did It For Love” was recorded last year, like right before the Christmas day.

Really?

Yeah! (Laughs.) It definitely came out right before New Years. Everything was all set, and then we decided this time was the right time, and we were ready to go!

That’s cool! So, do you have any plans to do an American tour? I know a lot of fans would really love to see you.

Yeah! I guess there’s a lot of people supporting me right now. They’ve told me that they’re really happy I’m here.

Yeah, you have a lot of fans in America, you definitely do.

(Laughs) Thank you! I actually just did Kollaboration…It’s really big in Asian society. It was in L.A. at the Shrine Auditorium. There were like…6,000 people there.

Wow!

Yeah, so I had a chance to say hello to my Asian fans!

So when you go back to Korea, or when you go back to do your Japanese work, do you think you’re going to do your English songs on tour?

Oh yeah, of course…Why not? I’m the same performer with my English songs as in Japan and Korea! (Laughs) I’ve actually got an event coming up in Japan called Springroove. It’s like a big festival…lots of artists from America are coming to perform their music, like T-Pain, John Legend, and Akon.

Wow…When’s that?

Um…April 4! It’s in Tokyo. I’m going to perform English and Japanese songs.

Awesome! So, after this album, do you think you’re going to return to Korea? We haven’t heard a Korean album from you in a long time!

Aw, that’s true! Ahh…I don’t know yet. I definitely have to go to Japan. Of course, I’ll return to Korea again I’m sure! (Laughs)

So, are you enjoying America now while you’re here?

Yeah, of course…I like it here!

You liking the weather?

Yeah, the sunshine! (Laughs) I really like LA weather.

What artists are you listening to right now?

These days, I’m listening to T-Pain, T.I., Lady Gaga (laughs). Stuff on the radio…

Are you going to any concerts?

Manager: You know, with her schedule…We’re trying to find time to go to Britney’s concert–

You should go to Britney’s concert. I went last night.

BoA: How was it?!

Oh my God, it was amazing (laughs).

She’s back? Finally?!

She’s back, definitely. It was so wonderful. I was right in the front.

(BoA gasps.)

Manager: Wait, where did you see her?

Boston.

BoA: Boston! I want to go there!

You should! No, she was really amazing. I just—(laughs). It was amazing.

(Laughs) Nice.

Well, alright, I don’t want to take up too much of your time! I just wanted to say I’ve been a huge fan for years, I’ve loved you ever since I listened to Atlantis Princess, I’ve had all your albums and your posters….

Aww, thank you! You’re so sweet!

I just wanted to say thank you for making such good music.

Thank you, thank you!

Is there anything else you want to say to your fans before I go?

Well, my album just came out today, so I’m really happy that my American fans will get to hear it. I can’t wait for it!

I know all yours fans in America are so proud of your success, so thank you so much! Have a good day!

Thank you, you too…Bye!

Click above to hear more from BoA, including her newly released debut album!

Additionally, click to visit BoA’s MySpace and her official website.