Like most people, when I think of haute couture, I think luscious lady lumps. Which is why it made sense that the tickity tack tranny from Transylvania herself, Fergie Ferg, was drafted to produce the theme song for the upcoming Sex and the City movie called “Labels or Love.” Keep in mind, Ms. Ferguson’s vocal techniques are damn delicious (he’s my witness), and I don’t care who knows it.

However this time, all the Fergielicious attitude in the world isn’t going to save this sinking stiletto. Like the singer, the song is a straight up hot mess of nonsense lyrics and poor execution. It plays like one merciless, unending verse, stuffed on top of a horridly outdated synth-tastic reinterpretation of the Sex and the City theme song.

Now I do have to give credit where it’s due and applaud Fergie, because she did manage to take both my love of high fashion and the Sex and the City series and craft them into the most horrifyingly repulsive of fashion related songs of all time. Now that’s high fashion.

Pioneers of semi-radio friendly industrial music, Nine Inch Nails have been quite busy since their contract with major label Interscope Records expired. Within the year, Trent Reznor and Co. have released a two disc Ambient, Electronic, Rock, Industrial CD entitled Ghosts I-IV, planned a United States tour, scheduled an appointment with Lollapalooza, reorganized their fan club to be free of cost, and shocked their fans less than 24 hours ago with the radio release of their new track, “Discipline,” which is currently available for a free download on the band’s official website. Along with the free download, you can head on over to the band’s official remix website, download the multi-track of the song (for free, of course) and create your very own mix.

Casual fans of rock music know Nine Inch Nails’ for their dark, depressing, and what some would argue to be “weird” music. However, “Discipline,” which sounds like a mix between the band’s With_Teeth and Year Zero albums, contains an infectious percussion which could easily be plugged into a dance beat, synths and distorted guitar sounds out the ass, and perhaps Reznor‘s most radio friendly vocals and lyrics to date. For the rock and pop world, this is perfection. The only downfall of this song is that Janet Jackson (who released her album Discipline earlier this year) is absolutely no where to be heard on this track. Which is a surprise, considering how pop it is.

The song’s album artwork features five square boxes with a circle around the third box. Speculation assumes that a five song EP will be released soon, and that “Discipline” will be the third track. To help this theory, when you click the properties of this song and read the comments section, it reads “Go to nin.com May 5th.” Trust me, readers, once you download this song, you will be just as a rabid fan as the rest of us are, and you’ll be refreshing the band’s website on May 5th over and over again waiting as impatiently as you can for NIN’s next surprise.

Download “Discipline” from www.nin.com
Get the multitrack from http://remix.nin.com/

Now that I have your attention.

This is Christian George. He wears many hats (dancer, choreographer, actor). Clothing? Not as much of a fan. I’ll allow for it. The man’s worked with Britney and Justin as a dancer, and Kanye as a stylist, and he seems to have a career path paved just about everywhere in entertainment. The next step? Conquering the dancefloor. Yep, time to go pop. I recently got a hold of his first single, “Strangers.” The introduction was a little iffy, but once the song kicked in, I got the picture. The song is a drippy up-tempo full of intergalactic beats and a nice, seductive vocal offering. It’s fulfilling, and perfect for the summer heat rolling around the corner. And hey, sometimes we could all use a mindless sex romp now and then. Am I right or am I right?

As for a MuuMuse Excluusive, here’s Christian’s new single, “Strangers” streaming in full.

For more, click here to visit Christian’s MySpace.

The O.G. of bitchy, internet UK celebrities, Lily Allen herself has posted double demos on her MySpace page today. After just one day, she’s already got around 30,000 listens for each song. The first, “I Don’t Know,” is a sarcastic take on the lifestyles of the rich and plastic. Shame, I thought she was being serious initially. Dozens of points awarded for the phrase used in this post’s title, as well as “fuckloads of diamonds.” I love this song, truly. It’s both lush and cheeky, which are two of the most prized traits of pop. Take note of the photo as the album cover: Rachel Zoe. Ha. Ha.

“I Could Say” starts out with a warm piano melody. It’s very Kate Nash, though that sort of comparison is a bit redundant. The separating factor is the gradual introduction of trippy, synth beats that increasingly overwhelm the track. Not only that, but the vocals start to slip into lushness as well. It’s beautifully layered, and rich. It’s almost Imogen like, which is a real treat.

A wonderful start to whatever comes next, Lily.

In case some of you Muusers might have noticed, the download links accompanying the latest reviews have been removed. It’s not an accident. I’ve decided that downloading will no longer be a feature of MuuMuse. And by that, I mean MuuMuse is back to where it should be–barely legal and ready to mingle.

That being said, it’s time for Clay Aiken, with his latest single, “On My Way Here,” off of an upcoming album sharing the same name. Okay…re-hinge your jaw. I know. He’s a giant douche nozzle. And yes, the album cover is atrocious (I’m seeing Cyndi Lauper). But above it all, he’s a wonderful, if at times indulgent crooner, and his music happens to resonate quite well with me.

This new single is written by Ryan Tedder of OneRepublic, the shifty band that did the obnoxious collaboration with Timbasuck you’ve heard relentlessly played on Top 40 radio stations and as the ringtone for that girl no one really likes in English class called “Apologize.” What? You have it as your ringtone? Well, I mean…I didn’t mean it like that. It’s got a nice refrain and it’s very catchy. Is it…is it too late to apologize?

The minor problem is that Clay’s gone and taken the melody off of his album track “I Survived You” from 2003′s Measure Of A Man. Since that’s one of my personal favorites, I didn’t mind it so much. But considering it’s been five years, I would have expected a bit more diversity. Then again, I’m not sure of when I started expecting anything from Clay Aiken. In fact, I wasn’t really sure he was still releasing this until now.

The production is quite schlocky and over-the-top, but if you’re listening to Clay Aiken, you’re not in this for booty beats and hand claps. So take a breather from the synth surges at the discotheque and relax a bit. Let it soothe you, unapologetically. You deserved it.

Clay’s new single “On My Way Here” is due to drop on May 6, before the release of his next studio album, On My Way Here.