Of all the pop releases in the works this year, Kelly Rowland‘s third album may quite possibly the messiest yet.

Rowland’s third studio album first began to take shape after the smashing global success of “When Love Takes Over,” her 2009 collaboration with David Guetta–a hit that largely cemented Guetta’s dance floor reign over the next two years.

To further capitalize on that winning Euro-pop sound, Rowland returned with an equally infectious follow-up last May: “Commander,” an explosive, almighty club anthem that dominated dance charts all across the world, snagging the #1 spot on the US Billboard Hot Dance/Club Play charts.

Soon thereafter however, the former Destiny’s Child chanteuse began to take a tumble. Her label opted to forgo the winning formula–despite the successes born from Rowland’s new-found dance floor diva status–and instead continue the campaign with two ‘urban’-inspired missteps. It was a move that might have made sense in 2002, but in today’s music market? A severely missed opportunity.

In late June of 2010, Rowland released the Dr. Luke-produced, Ester Dean-penned “Rose Colored Glasses,” a stomping R&B mid-tempo that tapped out at #39 on the US Top 40 Airplay Chart.

The single was followed up by “Grown Woman” in July, the Stargate self-empowerment anthem that literally nobody ended up hearing–stalling at an impressively abysmal #51 on the U.S. Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs Chart.

Two months later, Rowland returned to the dance-pop sound that ushered in her initial success with “Forever And A Day,” a storming, David Guetta/Jonas Jeberg production released in Europe in September. But poor promotion–coupled with the fact that the song just isn’t as strong as her previous Guetta concoctions–led to a mediocre peak at #49 on the UK Singles Chart.

After all this, it seems as though the label have now simply stopped trying altogether.

The project as it now stands is a complete and utter mess, as evidenced by the album’s convoluted Wikipedia page–an impossibly long laundry list of producers and collaborators (Tricky Stewart, Bangladesh, Gucci Mane, Ne-Yo, Jermaine Dupri, etc.), a half dozen “planned singles,” and release date push-backs galore–and not to forget, they’re still wavering on the album title.

Although the album is now apparently slated to be released on April 11 in the UK (only two months away), the release seems highly unlikely.

To her credit, Rowland recently updated her website last week to address the silence surrounding the record:

I just wanna first start off by telling you all thank you SO much for being incredibly patient in waiting for the album. The making of this album has been an emotional roller coaster but empowering for me, which you will hear once it’s all done. I’m just taking my time to make sure it’s everything I want it to be. Just an FYI, it is shaping up beautifully!

Still, new leaks from the third album’s recording sessions have already begun to surface. Case in point: “Just Whisper,” a brand new track that leaked in full yesterday.

The song, which was written by Claude Kelly and produced by Swedish up-and-coming sensation Fredro (Shontelle, Jessica Mauboy), is a gorgeous mid-tempo that floats along above a calm guitar strum that completely recalls Sixpence None The Richer‘s late ’90′s hit, “Kiss Me.”

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, “Just Whisper” is Rowland’s most romantic moment yet within this album’s campaign. “You’re already more beautiful than anything I’ve heard, so just whisper the words,” Rowland croons. The message is quite sweet, even if it’s nothing altogether new: You don’t need to prove anything–just do you.

It’s now become even more difficult to place exactly what this new album’s going to sound like with this new leak. As a result, there’s only one thing for certain: The label better get their priorities straight, because this woman has way too much to offer to allow this campaign to simply slip away.

For an album called No Boys Allowed, there sure are a lot of boys that came to play inside Miss Keri Baby‘s clubhouse.

Though she’s tried at length to explain her new album’s title–that No Boys Allowed a “no bitch ass-ness” kind of empowerment collection about ditching the little boys and uplifting women, it’s hard to drive that point home when the album’s guest-list is exclusively filled with men–especially when one of them is Chris Brown.

But putting the album title-content conflict aside, Miss Keri Baby has produced a worthy follow-up to her excellent and underrated 2009 debut, In A Perfect World… with No Boys Allowed, released on December 21.

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Katy Perry is probably the only pop star I could ever feel compelled to deem a “guilty pleasure.”

In my opinion, there are two types of catchy in the world: The one with pop hooks so well-crafted you’ll want them replaying in your head until the end of time (“Umbrella,” “Just Dance”), and then there’s the obvious, derivative kind of catchy that cause you to itch and burn like an STD.

Perry’s productions are often in the latter category. In fact, they sort of like the music equivalent of herpes: Wildly contagious, annoying, and ultimately likely to lead to an intense awkwardness when revealing your condition to lovers and friends.

Take for instance one of the summer’s biggest singles, “California Gurls.” The track is little more than a direct rip of BFF Ke$ha‘s superior drunk-pop anthem, “Tik Tok,” yet it’s managed to thrive nonetheless.

It isn’t always the songs–usually the product of a suite of Swedish pop masterminds–that cause such pangs of guilt and anguish, but rather Perry herself, whose doe-eyed, potty-mouthed persona leaves much to be desired.

Perry’s shtick is obnoxious and, at times, hypocritical. Bolstered by a devoutly religious upbringing (and short-lived run as a Christian rock artist), she has the gall to criticize her fellow pop stars for being blasphemous sluts while simultaneously shooting whipped cream out of her tits and posing topless for Rolling Stone and Esquire.

For me, she’s a hard one to like–let alone to outwardly enjoy in public.

But good pop is good pop, and every now and then, Katy Perry delivers good pop.

This week sees the release of Teenage Dream, Katy Perry’s follow-up to her massively successful 2008 debut, One of The Boys. The album, like the one before, is a veritable “who’s who” of the top pop producers in the game, including Max Martin, Tricky Stewart, Greg Wells, Benny Blanco, Dr. Luke, and Stargate.

The album begins with its title track, which also happens best song of the bunch in terms of songcraft. “Teenage Dream” is not only a masterfully crafted pop tune with a smart hook, but a rare moment of tenderness for the otherwise bratty bombshell: “You think I’m pretty without any makeup on / You think I’m funny when I tell the punchline wrong,” Perry whispers on top of the song’s setting sun guitar strums.

Sure, the lyrics offer a cornucopia of only the most stereotypical lovesick vagueries, but “Teenage Dream” is still an amazing and evocative pop song. At the risk of massacring my reputation (what reputation?), it simply must be said: Listening to this song just makes you want to feel that way about someone.

“Last Friday (T.G.I.F.),” in contrast, feels entirely inauthentic. Much as with Perry’s summer smash, the song is almost a direct lift of everything you’ve already heard off of Ke$ha’s debut released earlier this year, Animal. Say what you will about Ke$ha’s aesthetic (or what she probably smells like), but any and all talk of drunken hook-ups and glitter on the floor are strictly within her domain at the moment. Any other attempt to emulate her drunk-pop revelry? Well, it just comes off sounding cheap.

The slap-happy silliness is pervasive throughout Perry’s record, including the stomping ode to the penis, “Peacock.” Scribed by one of the naughtiest names in popular songwriting at the moment, Ester Dean (“Rude Boy”; “Drop It Low”), “Peacock” is a most infectious, cheer-tastic celebration of the male member hidden behind the thinnest of veils: “Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock? / Don’t be a chicken boy, stop acting like a beeotch.” It’s the most fun offered on the record, even if the schtick wears stale after a few days.

It’s not all cotton candy and cocks, though. In interviews leading up to the release of Teenage Dream, Perry expressed her desire to fill the void of an Alanis Morrissette-like figure in today’s pop market on her next release.

“Circle the Drain” is the result of such desire, one of the album’s most impressive numbers. The song contains the best, most biting lines of the entire record: “Wanna be your lover, not your fucking mother,” Perry explodes with a vitriolic, shaking-with-anger kind of enunciation while exorcising her ex-flame’s demons.

“E.T.” and “Who Am I Living For?” follow along a similarly angst-ridden path. Still, Perry’s self-searching offerings are a bit too modern/major production (excessive instrumentation; squeaky-clean studio sounds) to be dubbed worthy of a Morrissette comparison–even if they dare to bare their teeth more than your standard Kelly Clarkson vengeance-seeking smash.

At best, Teenage Dream is a top heavy collection of party pop anthems and occasionally good, often schmaltzy slow numbers. Perhaps if she left the glitter act to Ke$ha and nixed the soggy ballads clogging up the second half of this record, Perry might have stood to offer something as tasty as her album’s cotton-candy scent. (No, really…the album smells.)

Aside from the occasional moment of sugary sweet brilliance however (“Teenage Dream”; “Firework”), the party balloons deflate rather quickly, resulting in a record that feels about as fluffy as the pink cotton candy swirled around Perry’s naughty bits on the cover.

Remember that whole debacle with Kelly Clarkson‘s “Already Gone” and Beyonce‘s “Halo” sounding the same, courtesy of producer Ryan Tedder?

Behold–it’s the B-side to Alexandra Burke‘s “Broken Heels,” “Fear of Flying.”

Sound familiar, Utada fans? That’s because the song, which was also produced by Stargate, uses the same sample as “Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence – FYI.”

Same sample, same producer. Granted, one’s just a B-side, and the other remains an album track only, but still…what gives?

PS: Just to clarify, Utada’s track is miles better. Just saying.

It’s been a long time coming…

Enjoy!

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In case you weren’t aware, Utada is a single lady again. Yet ever since the dissolution of her marriage with acclaimed Japanese director Kazuaki Kiriya in 2007, the singer has not made even a single peep regarding the fact in any of her recent Japanese songs.

Maybe the words simply failed her in her native tongue. “Intoxicated, emancipated, unapologetic,” the singer proudly gushes in the chorus of “On And On,” the lead track of her second major English album, This Is The One. “Make the night go on and on,” she continues along a squeaky dance groove, ushering in a wave of frequent substance references and sexual come-ons.

Unquestionably, the album’s overtly sexual ‘tude and frequent references to marijuana may prove just a bit jarring to the ears of some fans of Utada, the same soft-spoken, teddy bear-toting artist that only three years ago released a children’s song called “I’m A Bear.” “During my 9 to 5’s, I’m thinking 6 and 9’s,” she coos along the bridge of “Dirty Desire,” a throbbing session of moans and groans not to far from the realm of another nasty songstress—Miss Jackson.

Lyrics aside, even the production may come as a surprise to some enthusiasts of her earlier English work. Far from the electronic pulsations of 2004’s Exodus, This Is The One is a career turnaround, placing the singer right back into the hip-hop vibe she first began with in 1997. With the assistance of producers Stargate and Christopher “Tricky” Stewart behind the mixing panel, the album revolves around a nostalgic array of trippy hip-hop beats and slinky dance grooves. And while most of the songs benefit from a twist of modernity (such as the infectious blend of urban beats and bossa nova swagger in “Me Muero”), some simply reek of kitsch ( “Taking My Money Back,” which might as well be a bonus track off of Destiny’s Child’s Writings On The Wall.)

The singer, who once managed to rhyme in the phrase “Tomb of Tutankhamen” on her 2004 album, only continues to indulge in her penchant for brow-raising phrasing: From “Honeys, if you’re gay, burn it up like a gay parade,” to “Used to be a Virgin, now I’m with Island Def Jam,” Utada’s made sure to supply each track with a few conversational conundrums worthy of at least one full head tilt.

Her need to poke fun at her own ethnicity has also made a resounding, if not entirely cringe-worthy comeback, raising the stakes with some truly awkward indulgences. “I love you long time,” she sighs into “Dirty Desire” at one point without even a lick of irony.

Utada’s follow-up effort (or as she insists, her “real debut”) is commendable in many ways—it’s fresh, hip, and incredibly re-listenable from start to finish. Yet in order to create such an accessible record as This Is The One, Utada has also sacrificed that wonderfully experimental sound of her deeply underrated 2004 release. Sure, it’s not the worst thing she could have done (a dabble into the territory of alt-country folk would probably do the trick), but it’s most certainly the safest.

Key tracks: “On And On,” “Me Muero,” “Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence – FYI”

DL: Utada – Dirty Desire

Click above to listen to Utada’s This Is The One NOW!

Press releases shouldn’t excite me as much as they do, and yet I always fall for the impossibly high expectations set by these forsaken products of the hype machine.

Island Records has just released an official press release regarding Utada‘s second English album.

For those of you phased by the highfalutin jargon presented, or are simply too lazy to click (I’m sure you’re not actually lazy, dear reader. I know that the baby’s been crying all day and your great aunt just stopped by for pudding and pie and there’s still more groceries to unload from the bags and–DEAR GOD, WHERE IS THE BABY?!), I’ve summed it up using plus signs and half-sentences so that you mere simpletons can understand.

+ The album (still untitled) will be released on March 24, 2009.

+ Utada finds that to be a bit early.

+ “Come Back To Me” will premiere on Pop Radio on February 9,

+ And will also appear on iTunes.

+ There will be 10 tracks, all of which Utada wrote herself.

+ Stargate produced “Come Back To Me.”

+ Tricky is producing as well.

+ Recording took place in New York, Atlanta, and Toyko.

+ Which means absolutely nothing regarding the album.

+ Utada wants you to dance, but

+ Utada will reference Captain Picard and Winona Ryder somewhere in the lyrics.

+ She feels that sort of depth is important.

We clear?