On Thursday (two days ago), I heard a few rumblings and rumors across the blogosphere about a possible surprise appearance by Kylie Minogue at Splash Nightclub in New York City. It made sense, given that she was already in town for the amFAR Gala this week. So, after a few choice e-mails, her appearance was quietly confirmed and I found myself headed into the city in a last minute dash out the door late on Friday night.

Photo courtesy of HardCandyMusic.

After quickly meeting up with my blog buddy, Camille (of HardCandyMusic), we headed to the club at around 11:30.

And now, a brief side note: Splash was insane. I’d never been before, and I don’t know if it was just because of the night we chose to come (I hear it’s more reserved at other times), but it was like witnessing Queer as Folk‘s Babylon on E. No, really. I saw a butt within the first fifteen seconds of walking into the doors.

There was weird, amateur hardcore porn playing on the walls featuring actors wearing clown face make-up while lovely sentiments such as “FUCK FAGGOTS” flashed on top of the action. Everyone was making out, or groping, or something more. I got groped a dozen or more times. I’m no prude, but this was a full-on meat locker; a stewing cesspool of lust and creepers.

But it was no matter. Camille and I, along with a few of her friends, squeezed by to the stage area to begin standing our ground almost an hour before Kylie was expected to make her appearance. While we waited, we bopped around to the semi-decent music (there was La Roux and Whitney Houston) and excitedly chitchatted/yelled in each other’s ears about what we thought she’d do when she made her grand entrance.

As we waited, the crowd grew and continued to gather behind us. The heat that floated around the stage area was thick, sticky and heavy; a nearly tangible cloud of sweat and heavy breathing. I truly don’t ever remember sweating so much in my life. Literally, I was covered from head to toe. From me, from neighbors…at some point, I stopped being able to discern whether it was sweat or a flood of drinks were being poured on me from above. I like to think it’s the latter.

At around 1 A.M., security began escorting everyone off from the stage and sweeping out the bottles and glasses from the floor. The muscled-up go-go boys, previously whirling around poles with dollars stuffed in their trunks, were now lining the stage wearing their best pairs of tight briefs. I turned to Camille and mouthed “Oh my God, she’s really here.” I literally couldn’t believe it. She was here.

And then, as the house music swelled, the shrieks of a dozen or more gays stole our attention to the right side of the stage. There was Kylie fucking Minogue, walking up the stairs being guided right up to the stage, wearing a glittery silver dress and standing no more than a foot or two away from me. The crowd completely lost it (or at least I did–absolute shit show.)

After greeting the crowd with a lot of giggling and smiles, Kylie began introducing her new single, “All the Lovers,” which soon started to play above. The results were incredible: Despite the fact that we’ve only had the song for a little under a month, the entire crowd fired back with a loud, deafening sing-a-long. The power of Kylie.

For the record, Kylie Minogue is without flaw in person, and I’m proud to say that I can confirm this fact from one foot away. Her face is angelic, her smile infectious, and her body language? Utterly electric.

As she sashayed up and down the stage, she giggled gleefully and fanned herself often, dropping lots of nods and flirty winks into the adoring glitterati below. This was the definition of Kylie’s turf, and anyone could she she was gobbling up the moment.

Returning from the DJ booth after “All The Lovers,” we all expected that she would wish us a good night and head off. That is, until she turned right back around and announced a massive surprise–a mega-mix of her new album, Aphrodite.

Our mouths (or at least mine) dropped. This was the first time anyone outside of the press would be hearing songs from the new record. And just as quickly as before, the music swelled in and Kylie kicked off with an incredible first stomper from the record, “Get Outta My Way.” It was an insanely catchy, Light Years-esque number, and the chorus reminded me of the way she sings “get out of my way” in “Spinning Around.” Incredible.

During the song, Kylie reached across the banister and began holding hands with most of the front row for a few short seconds. And yes, dear Muusers…I held hands with Kylie Minogue. Well, her fingers. BUT WE WERE CONNECTED IN SPIRIT (See the one minute mark above.) During those fleeting few seconds, visions of glitter drenched ponies and dancing lollipops clouded my vision. So that’s what it’s like inside Kylie Minogue’s world, I realized.

Later on, Kylie requested a water bottle with a quick fanning hand motion to her publicist. After dousing her neck a bit (and doing an extra sexy shimmy), the disco diva took a few quick swells and proceeded to soak the first few rows with the rest of the water. I was absolutely drenched in Kylie water. It was truly the holiest of baptisms.

Photo courtesy of HardCandyMusic.

More songs from the record followed, including “Cupid Boy,” “Aphrodite,” “Put Your Hands Up,” “Can’t Beat the Feeling,” and “Too Much” (we think, anyway). I cannot gush enough how incredible these songs sounded. The album sounds like it’s shaping up to be hit after hit, like “Love at First Sight” on repeat. The songs were all lush, anthem-worthy disco melodies nearly destined to become classics in the annals of pop. I believe it’s safe to say: Stuart Price, you’ve done it again.

At the very end of the mix, as the go-go boys behind her began wringing out their soaked (and rather see-through) tighty whities, Kylie gave us a last wink before one final tease: “I’ll be back very, very soon.” A hint at a new tour, perhaps? God, I hope so.

And to think, we weren’t even expecting her to perform. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go shake the glitter out of my hair.

All photos courtesy of Camille of HardCandyMusic, except for the first photo, which is my own.

Many, many thanks to Camille for videotaping the entire performance in the videos above (as well as the pictures!) Had an absolute blast…Thank you so much for everything! It was a pleasure flying KM Air with you. Xo

To no one’s surprise in particular, Kylie Minogue‘s kick-off single from her upcoming studio release, Aphrodite, is a work of art.

Less of a departure from Kylie’s previous style and more of an embracing of her true disco diva “essence,” the Stuart Price-produced, Kish Mauve-penned track (the same group responsible for the lead single of X, “2 Hearts”) takes us back to the days of 2005′s euphoric “I Believe In You,” complete with lush electronic instrumentation and soaring vocals.

It’s perhaps one of Kylie’s most whisper-y numbers since “Slow” or “Fragile,” as she all-but-breathes her loving coos to us: “Breathe,” she commands in a near whisper, “I know you find it hard, but baby, breathe.” Chills all around.

“All The Lovers” is a bit too beautiful to dance along with, yet far too lush to be sitting there crying on the dance floor.

It’s a sing-along track, it’s sad disco, it’s everything you’ve been waiting for.

Perfection.

The Scissor Sisters are back in a very big way.

Night Work, the group’s third studio album (co-produced by Stuart Price!), on June 28 off of Polydor Records. It will be preceded by the release of the album’s first single, “Fire with Fire,” on June 20. As you can see from the authentic ‘disco sessions’-like cover art, all signs point to brilliant.

You can now stream one of the new tracks off of the album on their website, “Invisible Light.” DO IT RIGHT NOW.

“Invisible Light” is far sexier and darker than their past work. It’s also much gayer if possible, but in the most authentic, new revolution-in-sound-while-still-referencing-the-disco-melodies-of-yesterday sort of way. Then the chorus comes, and it’s euphoric and hooky and glittering and entirely unbelievable. Then comes an epic voice over. There is reference to Babylon and Zion. I AM LITERALLY DYING OVER THIS TRACK, MUUSERS.

And now a tracklisting:

1. Night Work
2. Whole New Way
3. Fire With Fire
4. Any Which Way
5. Harder You Get
6. Running Out
7. Something Like This
8. Skin This Cat
9. Skin Tight
10. Sex and Violence
11. Night Life
12. Invisible Light

This may be a bit early to start postulating, but I do believe this album shall be the Scissor Sisters’ finest effort.

I’m off to play “Invisible Light” a billion and a half times in a row now.

Photo courtesy of Kylie’s Twitter.

According to her magical Twitter, Kylie Minogue‘s been busy in the studio:

OK!!! It’s official…My producer in the studio this week has been….the amazing Stuart Price!!!! Having fun and making magic

For anyone not ‘in the know,’ Stuart Price is the one responsible for Madonna‘s Confessions on a Dancefloor. The disco diva meeting the disco maker: A match made in heaven?

Kylie’s been quite busy in the studio lately, but something tells me she’ll have something in store for us soon…

Very, very soon.

First it was “Better Off As Two.” Then came the briefly confused murmur of “Confusion Girl.” Now, it’s finally confirmed.

“Complete Me” will be the first single from Mr. Vincent Frank‘s upcoming debut album. Word on the street is that it’s an off-shoot from the Stuart Price sessions, though I can’t quite confirm that yet.

After roughly five listens, I can officially declare myself to be lukewarm in regard to this new single. Yes, I am severely underwhelmed by this production! Sure, it’s lush and lovely in bits, but I don’t find myself especially taken by the message OR the melody here. This, in effect, makes me sad.

Maybe it’s the weather?

DL: Frankmusik – Complete Me (ShareBee)

Click here for more from Frankmusik, and be sure to purchase the 3 Little Words EP here.

EDIT: By the way, it’s not entirely confirmed yet.

The roundabout continues!

As promised, the music video for Frankmusik‘s next single, “3 Little Words,” has just arrived in all its technicolor magesty. Not much complexity going on here, just Mr. Frank banging about with a couple of ex-Sugababes members or something. Success! I find him rather charming here. I can’t pinpoint why, though the combination of squinty-eyed glances and plaid may have something to do with it.

Now as you all may or may not know, Stuart Price was enlisted to master the tracks for Frankmusik’s upcoming debut. I can’t believe I’m finding myself saying this, but I’m not so sure about the mixing of this track as compared to its original version on the Frankisum EP! Many moments of brilliance that sparkled throughout the original are sorely missing here. The song lost a huge layer of luster toward the end, especially with the rather mediocre layering of real vocals on top of the superior, synthsational “‘Cause you don’t know…” middle eight bit. It’s nothing majorly damaging, but I wish the track hadn’t been touched in the first place.

Anywho…Onward and upward, Sir Vincent Frank!

Rolling Stone has provided a glimpse into the future with an exclusive preview of Madonna’s new album. No, not sample tracks. Just a write-up of the track-by-track experience. Click here to see it in full. It’s worrisome on several counts. First of all, it must be noted that the reviewer is Rolling Stone after all, which famously romps in overindulgent praise of musical icons such as Madonna. They’re also fairly uninformed in matters of the dance floor (connoisseurs of Pop they are not.) Basically, this should be taken with a big ol’ serving o’ salt.

That being said, the review gets troublesome as soon as it launches into the song descriptions. Timbaland, mentioned at least five to six times in this short album sampler, seems to be in solid control of the album, as feared by most. The article mentions the usage of his signature beats within many of the tracks. Note: These signature beats being riffs “borrowed” from Indian tracks released in the mid-90′s. You don’t believe me? Oh, don’t tempt me with a good time, because I’ll be forced to post the countless YouTube videos with titles such as “TIMBALAND STEALZ TRAX AGAIN1!!” And yes, they’re all accurate.

Timbaland’s direct influence aside, each track is at least once associated with a recording already made. “Candy Shop” is Pharell‘s lone exception, though the song has already leaked. It contains some shards of glittery brilliance betwixt the verses, but remains understated and underwhelming as a packaged production.

So what can we gather from the new tracks? “Miles Away” sounds like Justin‘s FutureSex/LoveSounds, “Heartbeat” recalls Nelly Furtado‘s “Promiscuous,” and “Give It To Me,” sounds like a track borrowed from Britney‘s Blackout recording sessions. Put it all together and the result is not a Madonna album by my understanding, but rather a greatest hits of sorts for an overly visible producer, guised beneath an artist who should and can be setting the standards for pop music into the new century. She’s already proven she’s still “got it” only three years ago. Confessions on a Dancefloor utilized Stuart Price, a dance aficionado and DJ supreme whose talents were never fully tapped until Madonna’s 2005 album. It was one of Madonna’s most marketable, fulfilling releases yet.

Am I reading too much into a 500 word write-up of a 15 minute listening session? Oh, yes. Am I jumping the gun in assuming the worst? Probably. However, if “Candy Shop” and “4 Minutes To Save The World” are anything to represent the album, then I remain utterly unimpressed.