WHAT THE WHAT.

RING THE тревога: t.A.T.u. is NOT breaking up, according to the latest video the duo posted on their YouTube account.

As Lena explains in the video (wait until after Yulia’s message in Russian), there were a lot of nasty rumors (“different talks, like, not truths”) like this official-seeming one about their musical endeavors. Now, it’s been confirmed straight from the girls themselves that they are in fact STILL TOGETHER…and planning to do new things in 2010!

The two then waved around sparklers in what appears to be the boiler room of a dark, shifty hospital wing and wished us all a very merry New Year. How Russian!

But what of Lena’s solo career? Hmmm…

Just a reminder: t.A.T.u.‘s third and final (?) English studio album, Waste Management, has now been released worldwide.

Bittersweet.

Until we hear more, I remain patiently refreshing Lena’s website for updates on her solo endeavor (who has all the makings for a brilliant career of her own as far as I’m concerned).

Purchase Waste Management on iTunes | MySpace | Official Website

Here now is the footage from the girls’ final single “Snegopady” from Happy Smiles.

Clever bits: Starting the video off at the end of “220.”
Sucky bits: Everything else.

With this final go, t.A.T.u. have exacted perhaps the worst offense of all pop videos. Nope, not a greatest hits montage. Not recycled concert footage. Not even a slowly rotating picture tribute in the style of a 14-year-old YouTube fan video…

CGI.

Now, I don’t even mind the notion of “killing” off the girls–they are t.A.T.u. after all, and there is that slightly dark undertone throughout their music. But to do so in the style of Grand Theft Auto?

They’re not even in this damn video!

Ugh, this is so “Viva Forever” of them.

The girls of t.A.T.u. are going their separate ways according to a statement on their official blog:

Last December a “staff meeting” attended by Yulia, Lena and Boris took place. Parties had unanimously decided to cease the “operation of t.A.T.u. in full-time mode”.
This decision was not spontaneous, it was long-grown.
For the sake of ethics I will not mention the reasons behind it, I’ll just say that these have nothing to do neither with creative nor with economic aspects.

The message goes on to detail a large amount of forthcoming releases and information regarding the faux-lesbians’ next endeavors. To summarize:

+ Their third video will still be released at the end of March.

+ Promotional duties for the ceaselessly delayed t.A.T.u. movie starring Mischa Barton, You And I, will continue.

+ Special editions of t.A.T.u.’s latest Russian album, Happy Smiles, will debut on Amazon.com and their official website, featuring new covers and bonus remixes.

+ The English version of the “Beliy Plaschik” video will be released.

+ Production on the international version of Happy Smiles was stopped at the end of 2008 (NO!), though the label will try to make available the English versions of songs already recorded for the scrapped release.

+ No further public performances, aside from special events including Bacardi.

+ Yulia’s intentions are not known at the moment. She has disbanded from t.A.T.u.’s management after recording the English version of “220,” entitled “Sparks.”

+ Lena is continuing to work with t.A.T.u.’s management to pursue a solo career. The project is already titled and the website reserved, and production on the solo effort is expected to begin around late April, leadininto a single release at the second half of 2009 with an album to follow.

WHY. WHY DOES GOD ALLOW ACTS LIKE CASCADA AND SOULJA BOY TO EXIST, WHILE T.A.T.U. IS ALLOWED TO SIMPLY TO FADE AWAY?!

My foundation has been utterly shaken to its core. A small part of me has died, and I’m unsure how I’m supposed to move forward following this news.

And a solo career for Lena?! I mean–come on, she isn’t even the INTERESTING one of the two!

Most of all, I blame both Katy Perry and Tila Tequila making faux bisexual the new faux lesbian.

But seriously, they made some good Pop….I’m actually a bit gutted.

DL: t.A.T.u. – Ludi Invalidi (Dangerous & Moving Russia Version)

Click above to hear more from t.A.T.u. God knows, it may be the last you ever will.

Well, that’s the new video for “220,” t.A.T.u.‘s second single off of the ever pushed back Waste Management. No abortions, murders, or even boobies? Frankly I’m bored, ladies.

Post written by guest blogger, RJ Kozain.

The drawn out bass and hip-hop melodies that made Portishead one of the driving forces of the trip-hop genre may be gone, but the vocals, lyrics, instrumental moods that make you want to hang yourself from your repressed depression are all still as vibrant as ever on their cleverly titled third album Third, their first studio release in eleven years.

Through black out-dark electronic, ambient and industrial influences, Beth Gibbons, Geoff Barrow and Adrian Utley deliver another masterpiece that is sure to be rotating in stereos across college music lover’s dorm rooms for years to come.
“Silence,” the albums opener track is definitely anything but what the title suggests. Hi-hats, pianos, electronic beeps that resemble something you’d hear when you press a panic button, and tribal percussion (amongst other layers) make the track sound like something you’d hear on the group’s self-titled 1997 release–if it were to be re-released in 2008. “Did you know when you lost?” Ms. Gibbons painfully moans over the track. Uhh..you didn’t lose anything. You still got the beat, Ms. Thang!

An abruptly silent cut off ends the first song and moves you into “Hunter,” which starts like a depressing down-tempo jazz track on drugs, moves into yet another round of electronic “THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE” beeps, and dives right back into suicidal-industrial jazz. This is probably the song that stays the most true to the Bristol sound (or trip-hop) genre.

“Nylon Smile” follows and brings the tribal beats back. The vocals start off with harmonies that could easily be stuck into a R&B tune if the melody wasn’t dragged out with Beth’s crazy voice. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you..” she sings. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve to have my ears ejaculating over every second of this CD so far, suicide woman.

If this kind of music is not for you, I am absolutely not lying when I tell you to hop on AmazonMP3′s download Third’s fourth track “The Rip” right now. RIGHT NOW!!! Absolutely everything about this song is shining and perfect. If anyone can find a flaw in this song, please tell me. Everything from the instrumental, the vocals, the lyrics, and the melody screams, “Put me on a Goldfrapp CD right now, damn it!” Synths! Oh god, the synths! Also, there is a random hi-hat at 2:33. Yes, a completely random hi-hat sound that makes the song even more special because it only happens once in the song–and its not expected at all. However, I don’t like how the song fades out just as the track is getting good. While this is the album’s best track, it could have definitely been developed into something more. Then again, Portishead always seems to fade out their tracks when its getting good. It’s their thing….

“Plastic” sounds like someone is trying to perform at a church, but a helicopter keeps flying over the place. It develops into a battle ground of guitars, electronic beeps and squeals, dark synths, and tom-tom drums. Its a song you’d hear during a down-tempo version of an opera. Hmm..a down-tempo opera, wouldn’t that be hot? “We Carry On” soon follows with a high looped electronic sound and if you extract the distorted bass, you could place it in a happy-bubbly t.A.T.u. song, where it’d sound just as good.

“Deep Water” offers a calm before the storm. It sounds like the group made a stop in Hawaii and decided to turn some Hawaiian tunes into a simplistic down-tempo vibe. They got it spot on! It also combines 1950′s style harmonies. This is the album’s happiest point, offering the lyrics “deep water won’t scare me tonight.” Awe..happy.

Just when you think someone gave this album some uppers, “Machine Gun” suddenly shoots the album’s only spark of joyfulness nine times in the heart and lets it bleed all over the cold, hard concrete floor while screaming “STOP SMILING, FUCKHEAD.” This song will not hesitate to shoot you…and it will not miss. Not once. Every other measure it offers a round of two percussive sixteenth notes in the form of industrial drums as Beth cries your death. She effing cries it. She knows you’re dying when you hear this track and by the time the distortion on the track comes on…you’re dead. That distortion, in my opinion, symbolizes your brain shutting down..but you’re still being shot. This track is most likely the hardest of hard when it comes to mainstream trip-hop and industrial music. Tricky also has the experimental beats and voice to make you die on the spot, but Portishead does it in a mainstream way. Whether premeditated or not, if I were the judge, they’d be found innocent of all charges pressed against them. (If you followed the extreme amounts of symbolism in this paragraph, I congratulate you.)

“Small” is the next track and starts off like a lot of songs on this album start off, with nothing but a guitar, it then moves into a single string instrument playing and morphs into trip-hop bliss. “Magic Doors” provides a Tricky-esque beat and ends with something that sounds like an elephant is being strangled before a hopeful and cheerful piano begins, which offers Third‘s most emotional climax of the entire album.

Before you know it, Small is cross-fading into the album’s closer track, “Threads.” Isn’t it sad? Your auditory orgasm you’ve been waiting eleven years for is already coming to a close? Yeah, I was a bit disappointed too. “Threads” offers another moment of past Portishead sounds, and is a great way to end the album. If you’re a fan of industrial trip-hop, you won’t feel let down in the slightest. This Portishead album is worth every single cent you spent.

Note: This album isn’t exactly for the pop lovers. It is an extremely long way away from the group’s international success, “Dummy.” But seriously, if you aren’t into this album, please hop onto AmazonMP3‘s (because iTunes DRM is the devil,) and download “The Rip.” You’ll get your money’s worth.

Still don’t believe me? Listen.
Portishead – The Rip (live)

And for those who picked up Portishead’s 1998 live release, I think we can both agree that they can still perform stunningly.

Here’s information on the release, directly from their official site:

The song “220” was recorded at Bonum Studio (Moscow) and at Sarm West Studios (London).
The music and the lyrics of the song were written by Valery Polienko.

Fresh extravagant video “220” will premiere in May. The video has already been shot and now is in post-production. It will probably be the most colorful of all t.A.T.u. videos.

The song “220” will be included in the two upcoming releases of the band – hyperion-plate “Beliy Plaschik” (released in May 2008, SOYUZ) and the Russian version of the third studio album “Upravleniye Otbrosami” (planned release – June 2008, SOYUZ)

So excited…crank it out girls!

Here’s what we do know, currently:

In keeping with possibly controversial album titles to go with their possibly controversial mannerisms, the album will be called Waste Management, or Upravleniye Otbrosami in Russo.

The third album will be decidedly “dancier.” I’m not sure what the girls thought their last two albums were, but if they’ve decided to go ahead and boost the bass and increase the tempo a bit, I don’t think anyone’s going to complain.

The album will be released in the second quarter of 2008, after the release of Finding t.A.T.u., the movie in which two lovers find each other…through t.A.T.u. I believe it’s the lesbian scent they emit.

Yulia popped out another one, even though Lena tried to shoot it in their newest video.

In summary, t.A.T.u. is the greatest two-piece faux-lesbian dance-rock Russian-based girl group to have ever existed. It’s a controversial opinion, but I’ve always taken those sort of stances.

Also, it’s one of those days where you’ve got Cher’s “Believe” stuck in your head. It’s a bad day.

That’s why I’m doing one of those catch-up posts, and introducing another one of my favorites. Najoua Belyzel is a French artist that I discovered through the dearly missed blog, OxygenChunks. She sings in French (Wow!), and her voice is like an airier version of Alanis Morrisette.

Her second single, “Je Ferme Les Yeux,” is the one I found first. I can’t even explain how obsessed I was with this song. The dark beat is throbbing, yet the lyrics and woeful and forlorn. I love everything about this song, but it’s distinctively Najoua’s vocals that make the song sound so haunting.

“Gabriel,” despite what both the lyrics and Najoua herself may suggest, is about the gays. The song, which was a hit with the gays, is a contemplation about a boy, featuring the lyrics “Are you made for him, or are you made for me?” Okay, so maybe there’s some metaphoric biblical garble thrown in to the song, but at the end of the day, she’s lusting after a mo, and she’s pissed about it.

“Comme Toi,” the third single, is a fun Irish-rock like driven song that is loads of fun to dramatically lip-synch to while in the dark recesses of your room.

Overall, Entre Deux Mondes is a beautiful album. I had it shipped over from France just so I could listen to the few tracks that I hadn’t already heard, and I’m glad that I did. Each track is genuinely haunting. Sort of like when I heard t.A.T.u. for the first time. I highly suggest Najoua to those looking for some darker, haunting beats, woeful vocals, or becoming a snoot and listening to music that isn’t from around here. I am eagerly awaiting her follow up album, due out later in 2008.

Songs will be uploaded later tonight. Enjoy the videos for now!

Please be sure to buy Najoua Belyzel’s Entre Deux Mondes at Amazon.
And you, what do you think?