Madonna‘s ascent to the throne as the Queen of Pop (which began roughly 20 years ago give or take, depending on which articles you read), happened as a result of her ability to reinvent herself as an artist, challenging taboos regarding gender and sexuality via the appropriation of underground cultural phenomenons and entertaining the world over with her extraordinary talent as a live performer. She also knocked out a decent song or two.

The reality, though, is that her latest studio album MDNA–the twelfth of her career overall–is not about reinvention: It’s about reclamation.

After just under three years spent behind the director’s camera of W.E.–her take on the romance between Wallis Simpson and King Edward VIII–the Queen of Pop found herself going stir crazy, having spent months researching, writing and splicing pieces of her movie together in the editing room. (Or more likely, bossing around some poor schlub to carry out her demands.)

Coupled with a highly publicized divorce after 8 years from director Guy Ritchie in late 2008–a (somewhat) surprisingly still-raw subject that largely weaves itself throughout her latest record–Madonna’s current mantra du jour is best captured in her new album’s most defining lyric: “I need to dance.”

Yes, Madonna’s in a rapturous state of mind in 2012, and in more ways than one: A bulk of her latest album, an incredible, varied collection of pounding club cuts, bloody revenge odes and swinging, psychedelic ’60′s-tinged anthems, seems to be tripping out on acid–or, more accurately, ecstasy. After all, the euphoria-inducing club drug (MDMA, formally speaking) is largely responsible for the cheeky, initial-inspired album title, MDNA.

But there’s a second way to interpret the album’s title, as perhaps hinted at on album’s test tube-like kaleidoscopic cover, which might be even more befitting: Madonna DNA. Sure, she refuses to step back in time (how many times has she said “I don’t like to repeat myself”?), and she might have just released her latest greatest hits compilation Celebration back in 2009, but Madonna’s latest studio album, oddly enough, often feels more like a career retrospective–played in hyper-speed, anyway.

Lyrically, there’s countless nods for fans to find from her back catalog: “When I hear your voice/Something happens to me and I have no choice” she sings in the bridge of “I’m Addicted,” channeling “Like A Prayer.” From “Express Yourself” in “Some Girls” (“I’m not like all the rest, put your loving to the test”) to the “Je suis désolée” and “Forgive me!” from Confessions‘ “Sorry” in “I Fucked Up” and “Girl Gone Wild” to “Into The Groove” in “Superstar” (“John Travolta, get into your groove!”), it should become clear to those hungrily searching for any instances of any copycat work that the only artist Madonna consistently keeps swiping from on this record is…Madonna.

And when it’s not a lyric, it’s a vibe: “Gang Bang,” one of the album’s brightest highlights (and, ironically, its darkest moment), finds the wronged heroine of Erotica‘s “Thief of Hearts” up for another round of merciless revenge, while “I Don’t Give A” provides a modern day update to the social angst and #MiddleAgeSingleMomCelebrityProblems expounded upon on “American Life.” “I’m A Sinner” swings with the same trippy ’60′s psychedelic touch of 1999′s Austin Powers theme, “Beautiful Stranger.” On “Superstar,” Madonna delights in a dozen or more of her favorite male pop culture figures in history, a la the timeless name-dropping bridge of “Vogue.”

Plus, there’s the religious aspect–a signature characteristic in the Madonna catalog. This time however, it’s back to Sunday School: Gone is Ester, Kabbalah-centric songstress present in the earthier cuts of Ray of Light and the Hebrew-soaked mysticism of tracks like Confessions‘ “Isaac.” No, Madonna Ciccone has us returning “Like A Prayer” territory on MDNA, down on our knees and grasping at our rosaries for forgiveness. “Hail Mary, full of Grace” she declares on”I’m A Sinner,” later rattling through a half-dozen biblical figures. “I forgot to say my prayers/Baby Jesus on the stairs!” she inexplicably howls on the boisterous “I Don’t Give A.” In the first few seconds of “Girl Gone Wild, she recites the Act of Contrition (a prayer that first made its way into Madonna’s back catalog on 1989′s Like A Prayer.)

Forget the bible: Everything one ever needed to know about Catholicism can be found in MDNA.

Like her classic 1989 release, MDNA is a post-divorce record. Unlike Like A Prayer, which was released only a few months after her divorce from Sean Penn, MDNA comes almost four years after the fact. Since then, new love has already sprung.

As a result, there’s contrasting moods at play: MDNA is an incredible, explosively defiant record–full of both euphoric club cuts and swoon-filled swinging ’60′s pop anthems, yes–but also unexpectedly raw, introspective balladry, all of which showcasing far more vulnerability than one might have concluded from the album’s two lead singles.

Launching with “Give Me All Your Luvin” back in January, the chant-heavy cheerleading anthem which already leaked in mostly finished form 3 months prior (and should, for all intents and purposes, be considered nothing more than a promo single for the Super Bowl) was the campaign’s first misstep. While the song itself is a breezy moment of self-congratulatory revelry (“L-U-V, Madonna!”), it’s also one of the album’s least interesting moments overall, and the verses tacked on by both of its heavyweight pop star features–M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj–are cheap, phoned-in and completely unrelated to the song. Sure, it was all in cheeky fun–pom-poms and all–but for a first impression, there was little to cheer about.

“Girl Gone Wild,” the second single from the campaign, did her no favors in the public eye either: That Madonna was singing about getting drunk off of Tanqueray in the club while bumping up against a beat that’s been served up and reheated twice over already (it’s very similar to Benassi’s remix of Madonna’s own “Celebration” from back in 2010) didn’t particularly champion the argument that Madonna was providing anything that wasn’t already on the radio–especially when, only weeks prior, she was sipping tea and referring to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” as “reductive.” (To Madonna’s credit, it still is.)

Hearing the album in full, it’s hard to believe that those were the singles selected from the record–especially considering MDNA is one of her better albums in years.

“I’m Addicted” for instance–the namesake of the record–surges forth with the euphoria of “Ray of Light” and the dark, hypnotic trance of Confessions‘ “Get Together.” As incredible as the song’s pulsing House beat is however (co-crafted by the Benassi Bros. and The Demolition Crew), the unexpectedly poetic lyrics are even more magical: “All of the letters push to the front of my mouth/And saying your name is somewhere between a prayer and a shout/And I can’t get it out,” Madonna cries. (What is this, “Bedtime Story”?!) Between the skittering synthesizers, stuttering vocals, pounding beats and endless chanting of “M-D-N-A” in the song’s final explosive minute, nothing comes closer to aural Ecstasy.

“Gang Bang” is another highlight–not only the record, but of her entire career. Over a dark, brooding electronic pulse, Madonna–now Dita out of order from Erotica–stalks her ex-lover in a bloody, blissfully grim tale. “I need you to die for me, baby!” she purrs above a grinding dubstep breakdown, echoing Britney‘s 2011 dub-pop masterpiece “Hold It Against Me.” As the song comes to its thrilling conclusion, the Queen comes unhinged: “Drive, bitch! And while you’re at it, die bitch!” she shrieks with delight. Add in a relentless round of guns firing, cartridges loading and bullet shells dropping the ground and you’ve got a Quentin Tarantino film in sonic form. (And a pretty solid case for a restraining order in the case of Guy Ritchie.)

The bitter taste left in Madonna’s mouth following the divorce makes its way into several of the album tracks, but is no better represented than in “I Don’t Give A.” Tripping on top of a ballsy electronic hip-hop beat, Madonna lays down the business: “You were so mad at me/Who’s got custody?,” she speak-sings. The rap in “American Life” was hard to swallow, even for the most devout Madonna fans. (“The room is full of hot-tays“? I try to forget.) Here, however, she makes it work: Nothing feels quite as personal as this track as she rattles through several dozen very Madonna-specific problems (“Ride my horse, break some bones”), eventually leading to Nicki’s most ferocious features in ages.”There’s only one Queen, and that’s Madonna…bitch!” she growls. Damn straight.

Between the seismic-sized synthesizers, theatrical delusions of grandeur and bossy, mile-a-minute fuck-off tracks, you get the sense that Madonna is quite literally blasting away the pain and cranking up the bass: “There’s some things you don’t need to know…just turn up the radio!” she demands on euphoric Martin Solveig-produced “Turn Up The Radio” before quickly drowning in a sea of arena-sized synthesizers.

That’s where William Orbit comes into play–her trusty collaborator from Ray of Light and Music–returns to draw out some vulnerability yet again. The album’s Orbit-produced closing moments, including “Falling Free” and the Golden Globe-winning “Masterpiece” from W.E., are stunning exercises in quiet introspection, colored by gorgeous orchestral production and vocals that haven’t sounded so pure in well over a decade.

Speaking of, the vocals throughout MDNA have been run thoroughly through the ringer–from being stretched too thin on processed bangers like “Girl Gone Wild,” to the Auto-Tune overload of “Some Girls,” to a kind of regal, fluttery over-enunciation on “Falling Free”. It’s all very strange, but in most places, it works.

“Love Spent,” however, is arguably Orbit’s greatest triumph on the record: Like seventeen electronica songs and a plucky banjo all shoved into one, the thrilling electro-ballad (well, not really a ballad) finds Madonna woefully recounting a relationship in financial and emotional turmoil: “If we opened up a joint account/Would it put an end to all your doubt?” Madonna earnestly ponders. And then out of nowhere, the track explodes: The structure shifts (a brief moment of “Hung Up” synthesizers flaring up in the background!), and the song literally catapults into space.”I want you to hold me like you hold your money/Hold me in your arms until there’s nothing left,” she croons with an icy Auto-Tune flair, a four-to-the-floor storming underneath while an 8-bit electronica beat twinkling above.

It’s an instantly classic Madonna ballad (well, still not really a ballad), down to the song’s devastating opening line: “You had all of me…you wanted more.”

“I Fucked Up,” which has been unfairly subjected to bonus track status on the deluxe edition of MDNA, finds Madonna slowly recounting all the ways it could have worked with her former beau above a drippy, slow-staggering (shockingly produced by Solveig, not Orbit.) “I fucked up, I made a mistake/Nobody does it better than myself,” she lightly croons. For a woman whose lyrics are so often spelled out in the form of a defiant middle finger (“I’m not your bitch!”), it’s a rather rare admission of blame.

Not everything is doused in anguish and acid: Despite many of the darker, angrier and more introspective moments, Madonna mostly sounds like she’s never been happier in parts of the record. There’s a kind of warmth we haven’t heard from Madonna in a while: Call it newfound freedom or call it Brahim Zaibat, but Madonna’s definitely feeling the love again.

In fact, she’s downright slap-happy half the time: Along with the insipid jubilee of “Gimme All Your Luvin,” there’s “Superstar,” which sees the icon lovingly cooing her way (“Ooh, la la, you’re my superstar!”) though a non-stop swoon fest in reverence of her new beau. The song’s a real family affair, incorporating eldest daughter and rising style icon Lourdes for a pretty harmony in the background.

“Beautiful Killer”–another track that really should have made the standard edition–continues the love affair across a striding ’60′s midtempo pulse reminiscent of a Girls Aloud production (specifically “Singapore”). “You are a beautiful killer,” she whispers excitedly, a la American Life‘s “Love Profusion” (“I got you under my skin”). There might be talk of gun-slinging and deadly intention on this gorgeous ode to French film star Alain Delon, but it sounds like she’s smiling in the booth the entire time.

So where does MDNA lie in the greater scheme of all things Madonna? Well, it’s somewhere in between 1989′s Like A Prayer, 1998′s spiritual masterpiece Ray Of Light (though not as revolutionary) and her dark and throbby 2005 triumph Confessions On A Dance Floor (though not as cohesive). MDNA is miles more daring than her less inspired 2008 album Hard Candy, which too often felt crippled by pangs of relevancy-seeking atop recycled Timbaland beats 4 years past their prime. It’s Madonna’s most joyful record since True Blue, or even the one that started it all back in 1983: Madonna.

MDNA won’t help to reassert Madonna’s position on the throne as the Queen because of forward-thinking production or a particularly relentless promotional campaign. Instead, it serves as a reminder of what Madonna has always represented (and what most other modern pop stars fail to truly grasp): Fun.

It’s sonic euphoria, chock full of dramatics, attitude and surging dance-pop productions that only grow better with each replay. It’s infectious and propulsive. One might even call it addictive…like MDMA. (And that’s okay!)

Those turned off by the thought of Madonna being “too old” likely won’t be swayed otherwise when they listen to this record. While the album’s slower moments offer “of age” introspection, her aggressive (and often sexually charged) attitude on most the album cuts is even less muted than it has been in over a decade: Between the devious howls of “Drive, bitch!” in “Gang Bang,” the slagging off of girls with “fake tits and a nasty mood” on “Some Girls” and the not-so-subtle euphemism on “Beautiful Killer” (“Can’t really talk with a gun in my mouth!”), Madonna’s clearly just begun having her fun being naughty. (This is, after all, the woman who once purred “Next time you want pussy, just look in the mirror baby” on Erotica‘s “Waiting” almost 20 years ago.)

The older Madonna becomes, the more the public will push back at for behaving just like the pop star she was in the ’80′s and ’90′s (which is not to say that she hasn’t always been criticized every step of her career regardless). Could she change? Throw on a gown and sing some slower tunes about life lived and love lost? Yes. But why would she?

Face it, she’s Madonna: Just as she refused to be told what she can and can’t do as a woman in music 20 years ago, she’s not going to be told what she can or can’t do as an older woman in music today: The critics might scowl and dismiss her as a grandma for wearing a leotard and singing about sex, but she’ll only push back harder by doing a cartwheel on bleachers in high heels while performing at the Super Bowl live in front of a billion viewers with a smile on her face–something most every girl in this industry couldn’t do now at half her age. As she declares on “I Don’t Give A”: “I’m gonna be okay/I don’t care what the people say.”

She’s going to go down swinging (and likely while straddling the head of a dude from LMFAO.)

“I think my nature is to fight back, to fight those demons that want to bring me down. I have this motor inside of me that says, No, I will not go down, I feel it pulling at me, and sometimes it’s stronger than at other times…and that’s why I work so hard, because obviously I must have a lot of demons I’m fighting,” she told Becky Johnston 23 years ago in the May 1989 feature for Interview Magazine.

That’s why we she became the Queen then. That’s why she remains the Queen now.

A less rambly track-by-track version of this review appears on MTV Buzzworthy.

MDNA was released on March 26. (iTunes)

Addicted to Madonna‘s MDNA? Join the club.

While you were busy gang banging, sinning and fucking up earlier this afternoon, the acoustic remix of one of the best songs on the record, “Love Spent” just leaked–and it’s absolutely phenomenal.

William Orbit‘s alternate take on the track–available only via pre-order of the deluxe edition of MDNA on iTunes–strips away the spacey electronica textures of the original, leaving room for some dreamy strumming guitar/banjo business (don’t worry, it works!). The new mix also includes an absolutely gorgeous chant between verses by Priscilla Renea, the talented songwriter behind tracks for artists like Rihanna (“California King Bed”) and Cheryl Cole (“Happy Hour”). A random addition for sure, but incredibly welcome nonetheless.

Simply put, it’s bliss.

LISTEN HERE.

MDNA will be released on March 26. (iTunes)

Earlier this evening, MDNA co-producer William Orbit appeared on the BBC World Services program The Strand to discuss his latest projects, including his work with Madonna.

Regarding the album, Orbit explained: “There’s some pretty hard, rocking tracks. There’s a very different variation of…styles. Mostly pretty savage, actually. The singles that have come out aren’t necessarily representative.”

In addition, the producer revealed that he and Madonna are still recording right now: “What she has decided to do is extra acoustic versions,” he said, explaining further: “Downbeat…kind of the banjo and things like that.”

Kind of surprising that they’re still recording now, no? I don’t know exactly how I feel about a banjo (hey, T. Swift!), but let’s hope those downtempo cuts make it onto a special version of the album regardless.

Regarding the singles: I do genuinely enjoy “Girl Gone Wild” (and, to a lesser extent, “Give Me All Your Luvin”), yet I can’t help but admit that I’ve been praying for something musically and thematically…well, more.

While I’ve continued to stand on a soapbox yelling about how Madge has the freedom to sing about poppin’ bottles of Tanqueray in the club and getting silly with M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj (which she does!), Orbit’s words are a much-needed reassurance that the contents of MDNA will pack a much harder punch.

Here’s hoping the album’s got plenty more substance (and sonic excellence) in store for us.

A full video of the interview, courtesy of Madonnarama.

MDNA will be released on March 26. (iTunes)

In an interview with the Los Angeles Times just 24 hours before accepting the Golden Globe for Best Original Score for W.E.‘s “Masterpiece,” Madonna gave writer Rebecca Keegan a few new details regarding her upcoming twelfth studio album, MDNA.

For one, she confirmed a new track on the record: “Beautiful Killer,” an ode to french actor Alain Delon. “I’ve seen every movie Alain Delon’s ever made…he’s so charismatic,” she told the newspaper.

Madonna also spoke a little bit more about the sound of the record, explaining how the sound differs between producers:

“I feel like all the records on the radio right now have a homogenized quality to them,” she said in The Times interview. “I’ve made a huge effort to try and not sound like everybody else. The music that I’ve done with William is quite introspective, whereas Martin’s is more ironic and funny and upbeat. There’s a really up aspect to it and a really fun aspect to it.”

Thus the light and the dark motif she’s been talking about: There will be heavier moments like Orbit‘s “Masterpiece” and lighter moments like Solveig‘s “Gimme All Your Luvin’.”

For more, make sure to read the full article. The Superbowl is on February 5.

While we hungrily await (and/or remain anxious about) the final version of “Give Me All Your Love,” the lead single off of Queen of Absolutely Everything Madonna‘s upcoming twelfth studio album, a new song has just arrived to briefly satiate the cravings–and it’s a “Masterpiece.”

The brand new ballad, which leaked in low quality yesterday, will be featured in Madonna’s upcoming film, W.E. The track was co-penned by Julie Frost and Jimmy Harry, who’s penned everything from Kylie Minogue‘s “Put Yourself In My Place” to Britney‘s “Touch Of My Hand.”

“And I can’t tell you why/It hurts so much/To be in love with a masterpiece,” Madonna croons. While it’s difficult to fully appreciate the production on this William Orbit-produced ballad because of the low quality leak, the song’s minimal beat and lush, sweeping strings sound immense so far. Plus, Madonna’s vocals are absolutely lovely!

The track also gives me some “To Have And Not To Hold” vibes, one of the album tracks included on Madonna’s impeccable 1998 release, Ray of Light (and another Madonna/Orbit production.)

Nothing fails when it comes to Madonna and balladry, and “Masterpiece” is no exception: I love everything about this–from the lyrics (“From the moment I first saw you/All the darkness turned to white/An impressionistic painting/Tiny particles of light”) to the gorgeous, understated instrumentation.

I’m SO excited to hear this one when it’s released properly!

EDIT: A 13-second clip of the final version has surfaced, including a taste of the full orchestra. If the rest of the song plays this beautifully, “Masterpiece” might just be one of my new favorite Madonna ballads of all time.

Madonna’s 12th studio album will be released in 2012. (iTunes)

Last night, William Orbit took to Facebook to reflect on his hectic life during the past few weeks/months while recording in New York City with The One and Only Queen of Everything, Madonna. According to the producer, the job was done in a “nondescript” studio above a music shop just off of Times Square. Can you even believe that?

It’s really an interesting ramble in full, especially (of course) when he manages to talk about “M”:

But feeling like that we’ve part of a special moment in all of our careers. Including M’s. Who, I have to say has amazed me anew in unexpected ways during the last few months.

Orbit later reveals in the note that Madonna’s album will be mastered at the end of the month (!)–an incredibly early finish for the album. Perhaps the release date will be sooner than April or May as originally forecasted?

It was great earlier tonight to head downtown and see all the wonderful folk at my management company (AAM). Andy Kipnes (my manager) and Ross Donadio also discussed with me my new Strange Cargo album which is all but finished. And some other song projects that I will pick up one once M’s and my new album are mastered at the end of this month.

Judging by the early single selection, the early album mastering, and the overwhelming positivity buzzing around the production team working on the album, it seems as though Madonna’s entire camp is nothing less than confident about this new era. A good sign, without a doubt.

“Give Me All Your Love”–the lead single from Madge’s upcoming album–will be one of the songs performed during her Superbowl performance in February.

For now, we must (attempt to) wait patiently. This is the calm before the storm.

You might want to call me BRADtannica at this point.

First of all, has anyone else noticed this? Merely an observation, not hinting at anything:

※ Madonna‘s seventh studio album was Ray of Light.

※ It was released in March of 1998.

※ It was largely produced by William Orbit.

※ The album photography was done by Mario Testino.

Thanks to DaveWithAK on the BMK Forums for pointing out the many connections!

But onto the real stuff.

Remember when I said there’s plenty to come? I wasn’t lying.

While I can’t quite officially reveal the single title to you, please…

DON’T HOLD IT AGAINST ME.

Are you ready for what’s next?

Oh, and before you start Heavy Breathing…remember where you read this one FIRST.

I tweeted this one yesterday, but I feel like no one was around to notice. I have to start pretending I have a life on the weekends…

Anyway–flashback post!

Back in 1999, Britney performed her cover of Cher‘s “The Beat Goes On” live at the World Music Awards. (WATCH)

Though visibly nervous (only 18 at the time!) and stuck with one of the worst wigs of her career (a foreshadowing for the 2007 VMA’s and onward), the Holy Spearit managed to absolutely nail the track with her superb, deeply under-appreciated natural lower vocal range.

I love me some B Girl signature baby voice (“3,” “If U Seek Amy”), but DAMN do I love it when she lets that soulful sound shine! “Let Go,” anyone?

With William Orbit and Rusko on board for Album #7, here’s to hoping that Brit Brit can bare it all on a few numbers as well.

I’m sorry, but I’m freaking out.

William Orbit has been tweeting Dr. Luke and Teresa LaBarbera-Whites, head of A&R at Jive Records. The unifying force between all of them? Britney Spears.

Never did I ever imagine Orbit would be getting giddy about new production techniques from Dr. Luke. The fact that they’re all working together–one big machine–with Britney at the helm…

I’m getting woozy. Someone get me a paper bag, STAT.

EDIT:

AMAZING.

2011: YEAR OF THE SPEARS.

Nadine Coyle has an insatiable ego.

After rejecting a major label bid war in favor of an exclusive distribution deal at Tesco, reportedly declining an X Factor performance invite, and forgoing all contact with her (former) Girls Aloud band members for almost a year, Nadine Coyle has made it a point throughout the entire recording and promotional process of her new-found solo career that she’s going to produce and promote the music her own way—and she doesn’t need your help, thank you very much.

For more proof, one needs look no further than the very name she’s releasing the album under: “Nadine.” That she would even opt for single name status (Cher, Madonna) is a fairly strong representation of the Irish chanteuse’s lofty self-image.

It’s not that the ego isn’t entirely unmerited. In fact, she’s got the talent to back it up.

The singer, who had her first brush with fame after being famously booted from the 2001 Irish offshoot of Popstars after lying about her birth year, quickly climbed to notoriety as one of the five members of Girls Aloud, the incredibly successful product of 2002’s UK talent search, Popstars: The Rivals.

Armed with a powerful, soulful delivery style and a deliciously thick (and unintentionally hilarious) Derry accent, Coyle quickly assumed the role as unofficial lead of the group—or at very least, “The Voice”—after the smashing success of their first few singles, including “Sound of the Underground” and “Life Got Cold.”

The problem is that Coyle knows this fact well—and she wants everyone else to know it, too. As she will proudly explain in interviews, it was she in the recording studio longer than any of the other girls, providing the dependably solid main vocals on every one of their 20 Top 10 hits.

Accordingly, the majority of the promotion for Nadine’s solo campaign thus far has been spent fielding questions regarding her past—about Popstars, about Girls Aloud and of course, about Cheryl Cole.

As the first member of Girls Aloud to go solo back in 2009, Cheryl Cole has since managed to become arguably the most popular and influential celebrity in Britain today thanks to infectious charm, a judging spot on X Factor, and a full-on love affair with her personal life courtesy of the British tabloid press. In fact, the sheer mega-wattage of her celebrity manages to successfully eclipse the fact that her music is largely terrible.

Once again, Coyle knows this. And while she doesn’t dare criticize her former bandmate outright in the media, her carefully worded responses to questions about Cheryl reek of contempt. From The Guardian:

Would Coyle say that she is more of a natural musician, and Cole more of a natural celebrity? “Yeah, I would say that would be an accurate evaluation.” She shrugs her skinny shoulders. “But Cheryl’s great, you know, and we get on. And I wouldn’t be good at stuff like judging the X Factor. I would be the worst. Partly because I would want to be the one up there singing, with the lights and the stuff. Also, I’d be going, that’s not good, never mind, let me do it. Just watch me.”

Can you spot the snide? Not exactly hard to miss.

Promotion aside, there’s an album at hand.

With one listen of the lead single and title track “Insatiable,” it’s clear that Coyle’s crafted an actual artist’s record in Insatiable, complete with live instruments, powerful vocal delivery, and sharp, big-sounding production courtesy of industry powerhouses including Tony Gad, Guy Chambers and William Orbit. This is music beyond Auto-Tune—and some of quite listenable, indeed.

With soulful, melodious songs like “Runnin’” and “Chained,” Coyle instantly establishes herself as a class-act vocalist early into her debut, not unlike that of Alicia Keys, Mariah Carey or even Whitney Houston. Although the music is very ‘modern sounding’–weaving through licks of electronica and R&B rhythms–it’s Coyle’s diva pipes and the Motown-lite melodies that place Insatiable strictly in the realm of Adult Contemporary rather than Hot 100 Pop.

“Sexy Love Affair,” one breathy highlight from the record, showcases the singer’s vocal versatility. “So sweet, you got what I need / You make me dizzy,” Coyle croons on high above the piano-infused, jumpy up-tempo melody. As with the record as a whole, even when Nadine goes the ‘sexy’ route a la “Sexy Love Affair” or “Red Light,” the end result is uncompromisingly sophisticated, making earlier Aloud cuts like “Watch Me Go” seem utterly crass in retrospect.

Beyond the traditional belters, Coyle dabbles into somewhat experimental territory. The falsetto-laden “Unbroken” is a major moment for the ex-Alouder. “You’re free to make me believe you’re mine, but please be kind,” Coyle whispers above a warped landscape of atmospheric guitar strums and funky, glimmering electronica.

If this country-tinged foray can be compared to anything, it’s ex-Sugababes member Siobhan Donaghy‘s incredibly underrated sophomore 2007 effort, Ghosts–a major compliment coming from any fellow Brit Pop nerd.

As for a second single (if the Insatiable campaign survives long enough), it’s “Put Your Hands Up” that may be the one to beat for commercial success. A fun, horn-heavy up-tempo that plays nice with a healthy dose of electro beats, “Put Your Hands Up” isn’t exactly the stuff of Girls Aloud, but it’s probably the closest she’ll come to emulating the winning sound that propelled her to fame in the first place.

Coyle does have a tendency of waxing indulgent at times, diverting into cringe-worthy cliches and boring scale runs (noodling, as a friend of mine used to call it) on songs like “Make A Man Out Of You Yet” and “You Are The One.”

The latter, a sluggish, twangy ‘all natural’ kind of ballad, finds the singer spouting embarrassing lyrics about feeling safe in her own skin with her man: “I don’t even have to play it cool, I can be who I am in front of you,” she screeches at one point during the joyless ditty. It’s no “With You,” that’s for damn sure.

But where Coyle occasionally slips in lyricism, she recovers in delivery, as with one of the greatest cuts on the record, “Raw.” “You left me raw, I let you take it all,” Coyle painfully calls out during the song’s soaring chorus. If there’s a moment that truly spotlights Coyle’s showstopping vocals, it’s this one–a stunning high point on the album.

Sadly, the reason Nadine Coyle will (inevitably) flop in the Album Charts has nothing to do with the actual content of album. As a body of work, Insatiable is not only miles better than Cheryl’s from a technical standpoint, but a solid collection of soulful, sophisticated adult pop in its own right that would make for a strong debut from any new act.

But all that means nothing in the eyes (and ears) of the British public.

She’s sabotaged herself by rejecting her past, snubbing her former band-mates, and poo-pooing the dearly beloved pop project responsible for skyrocketing her into the limelight in the first place. Had she or her equally cocky manager been briefed with basic PR training prior to doing the rounds before her single’s release, “Insatiable” might have moved more than 117 physical copies in its first week.

As a result, Cheryl will continue to break records with her exercise in mediocrity (Messy Little Raindrops) and a pleasant persona, while Nadine will claw her way to the bottom of the charts with a stunning set of pipes and a grating diva ‘tude, proving that—for better or worse—talent doesn’t always dictate success.

Furthermore, despite Insatiable‘s quality, few songs from this record (and certainly none from Cheryl’s last two) even slightly hold a candle to the mighty flame that was The Aloud. God willing, the egos will subside and the girls will regroup once more to release something of actual substance.

Until then, there’s always a job waiting behind the counter at Nadine’s Irish Mist. I hear the burgers are incredible.

Insatiable was released today in the UK. (Tesco)