You already know coco morier, but perhaps by a different name: She’s Nicole Morier, the talented Electrocute singer-songwriter who co-penned Britney‘s “How I Roll” and “Trip To My Heart,” Sky Ferreira‘s “99 Tears” and Selena Gomez‘s “Whiplash,” amongst dozens of other pop gems. Lately, she’s been doing her own thing.

After launching collaborative record label INGRID back in April along with Miike Snow, Peter, Bjorn & John, Lykke Li and several other Swedish talents, morier has just premiered the video for her completely genius single “Ambulance,” which was co-scribed by Sky Ferreira and Miike Snow.

The clip follows morier as she wanders in a sad state of dreaming, popping pills, gorging on food late at night (too real) and experiencing weird, glittery hallucinations. It’s like a cross between The Virgin Suicides, Valley of the Dolls, Girl Interrupted and a Surrealist film festival, resulting in something as otherworldly and morbid as the song itself (if that doesn’t sound like a compliment, it is.) Also, I have a feeling Marina And The Diamonds would totally dig this.

Dig it too? Good. It’s just a taste of what’s to come from morier’s debut Strangers May Kiss, due out June 19 on INGRID.

“Took the anesthetic, but I can still feel…”

Strangers May Kiss will be released on June 19. (iTunes)

I love Darren Hayes. I love Bright Light Bright Light (or Rod Thomas, formally speaking.) Imagine my sheer delight, then, when I saw both names listed together earlier this week. INSAHNE.

Yes, it’s real and actual: As part of the festivities for his 40th birthday last week (happy birthday again, Darren!), Mr. Hayes recruited UK pop prince Bright Light Bright Light to take his latest Secret Codes & Battleships single to task, which premiered over at ArjanWrites on Monday.

“When I think of my favourite 12 inch mixes on vinyl, they were remixes in a vague house style, with big piano riffs and those signature snare rolls,” Hayes told Arjan. “I think he’s more than delivered. It’s my favourite remix from the album so far and I wanted everyone to hear it.”

Though the new mix of “Stupid Mistake” starts out rather dramatic and serious face (there are finger snaps!), just wait until that first chorus to draw to a close, when the song suddenly bursts into a euphoric, early ’90′s piano-led dance House beat–the signature Bright Light touch!

Yes, there’s still just as much guilt and shame packed into the track, but really…with rhythms this scrumptiously danceable, you’ll likely be caught voguing before you ever have a chance to shed a tear. Brilliant job all around!

Best of all–it’s free! Head over to ArjanWrites now to download the remix fo’ free.

“Stupid Mistake” was released on May 4. (iTunes)

At long last, Rock Goddess Alanis Morissette has finally returned with the first piece of new music since her 2008 record Flavo(u)rs of Entanglement: “Guardian.” Isn’t it ironic? No. No, it’s not ironic…but it is quite good!

For her first single in over four years, Alanis remains as soul-bearing and emotional as ever, but in a more comforting and loving manner than, say…accusing your ex of getting blown in a theater.

“I’ll be your keeper for life, as your guardian/I’ll be your warrior of care, your first warden,” Alanis solemnly swears on top of the crashing guitars of the chorus. With its power pop-rock ’90′s energy, mixed with some gorgeous piano and the lightest wisps of electronica provided by Guy Sigsworth, “Guardian” stays true to all things Alanis, while still tapping into her more spiritual, rooted present self.

“No more standing still in the hailstorm, now enter your watchwoman,” Alanis declares gently above the twinkling bridge. Our hero!

It’s heartfelt, it’s magical and it’s a perfect way to ring in her new album, Havoc and Bright Lights. As Alanis would say: “May tender attunement, fierce protection and the safeguarding of freedom reign!” Or something like that.

“Guardian” was released on May 15. (iTunes)

I ask you: Who doesn’t love a good ol’ Ida Corr club cut?

The delightful Danish dance floor diva has been churning out funky, sass-tastic dance floor stompers for just under a decade now, including “Ride My Tempo,” “What Goes Around Come Around” and one of my personal favorites of all time, “Let Me Think About It” with Fedde Le Grand.

Today, she releases a new sizzler with prolific UK remix/production duo, Bimbo Jones: “See You Later.”

“I got my lips moist, ready to boom-ba-boom-boom/I pick you up in my Rolls Royce with my stilettos on,” Corr seductively croons above the big, bouncy House beat. Talk about boom boom, baybeh–sex, more sex, and extra-squeaky synthesizers ahoy!

With plenty of remixers on board–including DJ’s From Mars, Bisbetic, Da Brozz and Stereo Palma–odds are you’ll be hearing this one pumping from the glitter-strewn speakers at 4 AM across clubland all summer long.

I, I, I see you later, boy!

“See You Later” was released on May 15. (iTunes)

FLAWLESSNEY.

That is all. Thank you for your time.

A picture of her flaw-free head moving swiftly through the busy streets of New York City surfaces around 4:15 P.M. and gets retweeted approximately fifty-five bajillion times. “Is it her?!” the fans shriek via tweet. Could it actually be? Yes. After some sort of stan-based visual DNA testing, it’s confirmed: The Holy Spearit is making her way to the FOX Upfronts.

“Legendary hair,” the commenters carefully analyze amongst one another. “Iconicney.” More time passes, and the fans reload their Twitter pages hungrily. “I hate fuckin’ waiting,” the Twitterverse seems to cry out all at once. So much–so very, very much.

Finally, the time has come: The announcement of the X Factor line-up. Just minutes before 5 P.M., a more-epic-than-epic X Factor promo flashes across the mega-sized screen in the Beacon Theater reminding us all of the DRAMA, ADVERSITY, PERSEVERANCE, PEPSI PRODUCT PLACEMENT and SUPERSTAR WATTAGE (Melanie Awho-whuh?) of X Factor–and then the screen lifts to reveal the new judges.

It’s a funny thing that happens whenever Britney Spears appears onstage: There’s a quick glimmer of vanilla-scented glitter in the air. You never really do get a good glimpse of the angels placing her down on her stilettos, but they’re there–if you’re watching closely enough.

And she looks beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning. Ravishing. Californian Tan Goddessney. So perfect and entirely free of flaw that every single pop princess in the game promptly stood up and declared their retirement. (Except Demi–she looked pretty too.)

And they all stand together and laugh–oh, how they laugh! They laugh as old friends, knowing that the world is their Starbucks frappe, and that no one else stands a chance of trending worldwide on Twitter. Demi looks over at Britney for just a brief second with a sisterly twinkle in her eye, who quickly smiles back. “Someday,” Dem thinks to herself, “I can be just like her.”

Simon entertains the crowd with a few pleasantries, knowing full well that no one’s truly paying attention to a single word he says. Not when there’s a living legend standing to his right. Finally, he asks the Legendary Miss Britney Spears to speak.

The room goes silent, and so she does:

“It’s gonna be so much fun and so different from anything I’ve ever done, and I’m ready to find the true star,” The Holy Spearit quickly remarks to the crowd using her deep, Does-She-Have-A-Coldney-Or-Something Good Morning America promo vocals.

“BACK TO YOU, SIMON.”

And that’s it. The words reverberate throughout the country.

Somewhere, hidden deep in the hills of Los Angeles, Legendtina sits watching the announcement along with the rest of the common people online. Suddenly, she sits back and cackles, rocking back and forth menacingly in her swivel chair (which was stolen from the set of The Voice.) Cackling, cackling–and then a fiery rage burns from her blood-red lips: “THIS IS DEROGATORY TOWARDS WOMEN!” she howls, slamming her fist down on her table and accidentally activating the swivel chair. “No!” she cries out. “Help! HELP!” But no one’s there to help as she spins backwards at the speed of snail.

No one but Baby Max sitting idly on the floor, his eyes still glued to the screen. “Buh-ritney,” he coos. His first word.

Bow down: a new Queen has arrived.

Queen of Hearts–a London-based 24-year-old chanteuse with no apparent direct relation to Cassie‘s “King of Hearts,” nor Madonna‘s “Thief of Hearts” (still researching the lineage, will report back)–has just released a new double A-side today worldwide: “Neon/Tears In The Rain.” I recommend you acquire that now, as it’s quite synth-y and delicious.

“Neon” pulsates with a dark, pounding energy a la Goldfrapp‘s gritty masterpiece “Strict Machine” and Sam Sparro‘s “Black & Gold” (with a very au courant dubstep wobble to boot), as the Queen ascends to her throne while basking in bright neon lights. “Electrify, we touch the sky/We come alive,” she croons. It’s a pure synth-pop gem.

“Tears In The Rain” on the other hand, is a gorgeous ‘sad disco’ number as only a Swedish pop mastermind could provide: Produced by the ever-amazing Sound of Arrows‘ Stefan Storm, the song creeps across a chilly, atmospheric beat. “Are you ready? Are we fearless? Surrender or fail,” the singer coos. Watch for those haunting echoes in the chorus–shiver city.

The various remixes of “Neon” on the EP are incredible as well, especially Mark Reeder‘s mix, which suits the song perfectly: With the heaven-sent strings and brooding stomp, the re-rub feels dramatic and regal. Fit for a Queen, even.

“Neon/Tears In The Rain” was released on May 14. (iTunes)

Pink tee, blonde ponytail, sweatpants, shades and absolutely zero fucks given: My baby’s back in NYC!

Last night, TMZ caught The Holy Spearit wandering outside her hotel in the city (trying to put her derriere in the magazines, no doubt!)

Why’s she in town? Because Our Queen will be appearing alongside her future co-worker Demetria Devonne Lovato later today for the FOX Upfronts, where they’ll be officially (FINALLY!) announced as judges for the upcoming season of X Factor.

Honestly, I’m just a shaking pile of blubbering mess. What will she wear? What if she speaks? What if she sings? What if she and Demi perform an acoustic rendition of “Everytime” into “Skyscraper”? WHAT THEN?!

Hush. Just. Stop. And wait until this afternoon…

Paris Hilton–Queen of the Dance Floor and Handbags & Accessories in the Middle East–has been globetrotting for well over a year now, surveying the club scene and taking glam onstage shots with tons of DJs on her bedazzled Blackberry.

At the same time, the socialite-turned-songstress has been putting in work at the studio recording her much, much, much anticipated “House-inspired” sophomore record, which is being executive produced by Afrojack. While we’ve already heard a taste of what’s to come when the Dutch DJ teased out a deliciously icy teaser last year called “Good Time,” as well as “Drunk Text”–the World’s Greatest Sexting Cautionary Tale crafted with Manufactured Superstars–it seems Paris is finally prepared to premiere the first official single.

According to Digital Spy, the new single–”After Midnight”–will premiere on On-Air with Ryan Seacrest on June 5, exactly six years since the release of her debut single “Stars Are Blind.” And if she’s keeping to her word from back in January, it’s going to feature LMFAO.

To make the news even more impossibly amazing, Brazilian site Livepass reports that Queen Hilton will be performing (!) at the Pop Music Festival in Sao Paulo, alongside Kelly Clarkson and Jennifer Lopez. (Be right back–researching flights to Brazil immediately.)

Overwhelmed? You should be. This is the Greatest Pop News of 2012, second only to Girls Aloud‘s impending reunion and X Factor-ney. I’ve no doubt that in the capable hands of the producer of “Take Over Control,” Queen P might very well have the best dance record of the year clutched in between her diamond-encrusted nails.

Paris, quite simply, is here to slay.

THAT’S HOT.

Paris was released in August of 2006. (iTunes)

SOMETHING KINDA OOOOH IS BREWING.

Yesterday afternoon, Nadine Coyle threw the entirely of the world into convulsions after tweeting that she was heading into the studio with Brian Higgins of Xenomania. “For what?!” billions demanded to know.

Well, we’ve got ourselves an answer. Seconds ago, Xenomania tweeted…

Prepping to go in the studio with @NadineCoyleNOW for new GA sessions

And then, just minutes later:

New GA sessions with @NicolaRoberts @KimberleyJWalsh @SarahNicHarding in the studio over the last week

SHAKING AND CRYING CROCODILE TEARS.

This is it! The moment we’ve been waiting for after 3 years: Girls Aloud are returning with new material!

To add to The Greatest Pop News of 2012, The Sun reported earlier that the Aloud will return with a charity single later this year for Children in Need:

When Cheryl, Nicola, Sarah, Kimberley and Nadine had a secret meeting in London last month, the offer to record the song was laid on the table. A source said: “The plan is to release it in November.

“It is looking like it will be an original song. Bosses think it will be the perfect comeback hit as well as helping a good cause.”

JUST INCREDIBLE.

Oh, and just in case you’re concerned–I wouldn’t get my panties in a twist about Chezza not being mentioned in the tweet. She’s already said she’s jazzed about a 10th Anniversary return. Plus, she’s busy promoting her amazing new single “Call My Name” at the moment.

As Queen Nuhdeen might say: Payshuhns ays uh vahyrchew.

PREPARE YOUR BODY FOR
THE RETURN OF THE ALMIGHTY ALOUD.