SMURF YOUR ENTIRE SMURF.
“Ooh La La,” Britney‘s contribution to the soundtrack of The Smurfs 2, has finally been leaked upon the Interwebz—on International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia no less, yet another milestone in Britney’s tireless career as a LGBT warrior—and the results are pure, summery Smurfish delight.
Let’s break it down now — show me what you got!
Like a pheonix rising from the ashes—or a lotus growing within a stinky, mud-filled swamp—Legendtina has risen again.
The past few months have proven to be quite trying for the “F.U.S.S.” siren: Not only has Legendtina suffered a merciless smear campaign launched by the New York Times, but the Ms. Goduilera Bionic/Lotus Experience World Tour—the very tour she left The Voice to embark upon—remains frustratingly nonexistent.
But all is not lost: There’ve been incredible highs and endless amounts of #lotuspromo, including Time Magazine‘s long-awaited crowning of Legendtina as The Most Influential Artist of All Artists In The History of Ever.
Just last week, the songstress blessed fans with a Spanish-language treat of the non-Pitbull variety: Her cover of Miguel Gallardo‘s 1975 classic, “Hoy Tengo Ganas De Ti,” featuring Alejandro Fernandez, which will be used for a telenovela called La tempestad (and, presumably, her Univision reality TV docu-series, LevantaSAY, lotos: Las aventuras de Legendtina.)
The sweet scent of success is wafting through the air, stronger than ever—and it smells like Christina Aguilera By Day.
Legendtina has already begun shooting the video for “Hoy Tengo Ganas De Ti,” and she’s decided to give us a sneak peek today on Twitter. Hold onto your bobbleheads, y’all—’cause she’s about to have you spinning round in circles on her middle, middle dedo…
Kelly Rowland‘s churned out so many sensual slow burns (“Kisses Down Low”), naughty come-ons (“Lay It On Me”) and joyous dance floor fillers (“When Love Takes Over”) over the past five years, it’s jarring to discover that “Dirty Laundry,” Rowland’s latest single off of her upcoming record Talk A Good Game, comes from a place of enormous pain.
She’s vaguely touched upon struggle in the past (“They never seen our scars before, they think our love is beautiful” she sang on 2010′s “Rose Colored Glasses”), but never before has the hurt been so openly exposed.
“Dirty Laundry” is easily one of Rowland’s most emotional, soul-baring records to date (if not the most) that sees the songstress spilling out private confessions—not only about her relationship with her Destiny’s Child sister Beyoncé, but an emotionally and physically abusive relationship that nearly cost her…everything.
Selegendary Gomezmerizing is about to make us both hit the lights and trip the light fantastic.
The “Love You Like A Love Song” pop princess first got us breaking a sweat back in April with the premiere her sulty summer seduction anthem, “Come & Get It.” She then caused the Earth’s water supply to quickly evaporate—leading to a year without rain, naturally—thanks to the unbelievably stunning, floral and flowing garb-filled accompanying video last week.
Now, Miss Gomez has set her heavenly eyes on the dance floor with a slew of remixes guaranteed to have her skyrocketing to the top position on the Billboard Dance/Club Play Songs chart in no time. Like, easily.
BREAK OUT THE FIRST AID KITS AND JINGLE THEM KEYS: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Once upon a time, there were five little girls: Shannon, Aundrea, D. Woods, Dawn, and Aubrey. These girls had a dream to make music and entertain. They went by the name of…Danity Kane.
They were created by an evil genius with a fetish for flopping named Diddy, who took them all away from us—but not for long.